Living in Darkness (Bloodbreeders)

by Robin Renee Ray,

  If this was my last time seeing him, I had to get closer. I wanted, maybe even needed, more. I made my way around, and got up right next to the house. Johnny unexpectedly flung open the door to the outhouse, as I attempted to duck behind the wood pile, but it was too late, I had already been seen.

  “Renee? Is that you?” Johnny called out.

  All I could do was nod, and try to imagine what he must be thinking. Mud and filth were caked all over me, and my hair was a tangled rat’s nest. He stepped out, and shut the door. I didn’t want him to fear me, because it would kill me. But my fear of his thoughts about me being dead, were soon taken away when I saw the look on his little face, and it brought tears to my eyes.

  “You ain’t dead with Grandma in heaven?” he asked.

  “No, baby, I’m not,” I said, but before I could say another word, he was running full speed towards me, his arms spread wide. He jumped into my arms, and wrapped his around my neck.

  “I knew you’d come home,” he said cheerfully. “I just knew it. Now mama can be happy again.”

  “I can’t stay, baby,” I said, stroking his baby-fine hair. “And I can’t come back again. I just had to see you one more time. You can’t tell anyone, okay?”

  “Why?” he asked, tears already welling up into his big blue eyes. “I miss you. No one swings me like you do. Everyone makes me sit still so Ma can rest. Please, stay.”

  “I can’t, honey. I just can’t.” We held each other, and we both cried. I held Johnny tight, his little head resting on my shoulder, while I started our little spin, whispering softly his favorite story of Pinocchio.

  Without warning, the pain hit again, my body started to tingle, and my mind became fuzzy. I felt myself slumping towards the ground, and the last thing I heard was Johnny asking, “Renee, are you okay?” And that was it. When I came back around, I was on my knees, doing something that brought what little life I had crashing down around me. I was feeding on my four year old brother. I released so fast, that his little head whipped forward before falling back. Sobbing, I cradled him as if he was asleep, but I knew that I had just killed the one thing that I loved the most. I couldn’t believe it. I stared down at his angelic face in disbelief. How could it be? Oh, God, what have I done?

  I lowered his lifeless body to the ground. I placed my forehead on his chest, and continued to weep. After a moment, I sat up and kissed first his head, then his lips.

  “Forgive me, Johnny,” I said, between sobs. “Because, I know I will never forgive myself.” I touched his head one last time, and then I stood and ran. To where, I didn’t know, I just kept running, not understanding at that time that it was his sweet blood that gave me that energy, that speed, that life inside me like I had never known.

  My eyes were blurred by tears, and I never saw the large mesquite limb that hung in my path. I hit it, and I hit it hard. The limb broke, and so did my arm. The collision tore a large gash into my shoulder. The impact knocked me to the ground. I rolled onto my stomach and cried, not because of the pain but for the horrific deed that I had just committed. I will lie here, I thought to myself, and when the sun comes up, I will pay for what I did. My mind couldn’t put anything together. It was so scrambled, that I couldn’t get any thoughts straight. The only thing I knew for sure was that Johnny was dead, and it was my fault.

  I felt someone kneel beside me, and heard a woman’s calm voice, “Sh, sh, sh, child, everything’s okay now. I am here to help you.” I looked up momentarily and recognized her as the woman I had seen in the graveyard.

  “I’m a monster, a beast from hell,” I cried, hiding my face against the damp ground.

  “No, no, child. Do you think you are at fault for what just happened?” she asked.

  “You saw what I did, and you didn’t stop me?” I rolled over and looked her square in the face. “I was out of my head. One minute there, then the other... the other...” I began to cry again, but this time, with anger.

  “It was too late when I arrived,” she said, hurriedly. “It was Martin who made you do it. That’s why you don’t remember.”

  “You’re lying,” I exclaimed. “He wouldn’t. He knows how much I love my family.”

  “He did, child. He is a very evil man. I have known him for more years than you have been alive. He finds pleasure in controlling others.” She paused, and then asked, “You would not feed, would you?”

  “No, but I didn’t mean to...” I shook my head. “I never would have...”

  “Yes, child, I know,” she said, quietly. “He did the same to me.” I stared up into her face, searching for the truth. She appeared to be sincere.

  “Is this true? Could everything all be lies?” I asked wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “If he did this, the sun will have to wait, because I am going to kill that son of a bitch.”

  “No, you must leave with us,” the woman quickly shook her head. “You must let us protect you from him, or else you will surely take all of your family, night after night, until they are no more.”

  “Never,” I screamed. I tried to sit up, and for the first time, realized that I had been hurt. I let out a gasp, and fell back against the ground.

  “Oh, you poor dear,” the woman said, almost motherly. “Let me take a look.” She examined my arm, and then dressed my wound with a piece of my dress she tore away. “Are you in much pain, child?” she asked.

  “Does it matter?” I asked bitterly. “I deserve death as much as Martin. It was my idea to go to the farm. If I had just....” She stopped me.

  “Don’t you realize why he kept you so close?” she asked. “He knew you would return. He bargained on it, for now you are one hundred percent our kind.”

  “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

  “Once you have taken life, it becomes easier the next time. You are a new breed, so to speak, not one of the living, but more so of the damned.”

  “He was just a little boy. He didn’t deserve to die, not like that. Not by the hands of his sister,” I said, holding my face in my hands. Thoughts of my mother flooded my mind. I may have very well just nailed her coffin as well. To lose not one, but two children in a week’s time would be unthinkable. I couldn’t stand the thought of her finding little Johnny in the morning, his lifeless body sprawled out in the dirt.

  “I have to go back, I have to move him. They can’t find him like that.”

  “It has already been taken care of,” the woman said. “My men have placed him back in his bed.”

  I stared at her intensely, not knowing if she should be trusted.

  “Who are you people?” I asked. “How did you know I would be here tonight?”

  “There will be time for explanations later...”

  “That just so happens to be the exact same thing Martin said. It’s always later. Why should I believe you any more than I did him?” I angrily snapped before she could continue.

  “Because,” she said. “I have already told you more truth in a few moments than he has in days.”

  I was frustrated, overwhelmed, and thought that maybe what she had just said was true, but I still didn’t know whether or not to believe her. I had to see if what she had said about my brother being placed in his bed was true for my own satisfaction. I got to my feet and began heading back to the farm. She grabbed my arm, as if to stop me, but the look that I gave her made her instantly nod and release me.

  It was true. Johnny’s body was no longer where I had left it, and it made me trust this woman a little more. I looked over my shoulder, and saw that she had followed me here.

  “See, child?” she said. “I have no reason to lie to you. Will you please come with me now, before he finds us here?”

  What option did I have? I couldn’t let Martin get his bloody hands on me, only to make me kill those that I loved. I had to get as far from him as I could, and she was the only person willing to help me.

  “Okay, I’ll go with you.” I said. “But can you at least tell me where we’re going?”


  “Of course I can. We are headed to Corpus Christi a place by the ocean.” she said. “You have made a wise decision, child.”

  “My name is Renee, and I’m no child.”

  “Yes, I meant no disrespect,” she replied with a little nod. “Come, now. Let us go.”

  I looked back, knowing it would be the last time I would see my home, but I knew that what I had done would stay with me until the end of my days, no matter how long that might be. I could only hope and pray that my actions wouldn’t take my mother as well. What would become of them now? I guess that was something I would never know.

  Chapter 7

  By the time we stopped, I knew we had traveled at least seventeen miles, because we had arrived in Cross Plains, a place I knew well. My family and I brought our goods here yearly, and had done so for many years.

  “We will rest here this coming day. There is an abandoned house east of town,” the woman said, turning towards me.

  “Yeah, I know the place,” I told her. “It used to belong to the Kings. Ma used to take us there to visit Mrs. King before she died.” As I spoke, I noticed that my arm seemed to feel somewhat better, but my mind and heart were all but dead. I didn’t care about where we were going to stay. I found myself not caring about anything. I had allowed myself to be tricked into doing the unimaginable, by someone that I actually thought cared about me. All that I knew for sue was that I just needed to get as far away from home and him as possible. I held the hope of seeing Martin one last time, even if a hundred years from now. I didn’t know how, but I would see that he paid dearly for what he had done. Taking me was one thing, but that’s where he should have stopped.

  “I never said thank you,” I softly told to the woman. “I don’t even know your name.”

  “There is no need for thanks, ch- Renee. I am just grateful that we got to you before Martin had a chance to harm you further. Oh, yes, my name is Rebecca.” She held out her hand just as any normal person would.

  “I don’t know how I will ever repay you,” I replied accepting her gesture. “But even though I don’t show it, I am very grateful to you.”

  A warm, heartfelt smile spread across her face. “It brings us great pleasure to help when we are able.” I didn’t have to ask who she meant by we, because as we approached the old King residence, the three men that had accompanied her at the graveyard stepped out from behind the bushes.

  “Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to our new friend. This is Renee.”

  The young man with the short brown hair took my hand, and raised it to his lips just as Martin had, and said, “Good evening, Renee, my name is Marcos. It is a pleasure to meet you.” He then gently kissed the back of my hand, and with a small bow backed away.

  As he left, the blond gentleman went through the same motions as the first. “My name is Ronny,” he said. “I am very glad to meet you Lady Renee.”

  I expected the third man to do the same, but he hesitated. He slowly made his way towards me, but he didn’t take my hand. His face was adorned with a look of contempt, nothing like that of the others. He peered down at me as if I were a problem, not a young woman he had just helped rescue. Rebecca cleared her throat, and I noticed her giving him a strange look. “Have you forgotten your manners, Omar?”

  “Please forgive me, Lady Renee. As you know, my name is Omar, I meant no harm,” he said, stepping back. He never did take my hand like the others, and I got a bad vibe from him, as if he didn’t like me at all. That couldn’t be it though, because he had just met me. After everything I had been through, I had no care to find out his motives. Maybe it was just something else about this new world of which I was now a part of that I didn’t understand. After all, he could have been having as much of a hard time with being a creature of the night as I was.

  “Dawn is coming, and we need to get settled before the daylight hours approach,” Rebecca ordered with the men not needing to be told twice.

  I have to admit, it was nice to see the three men jump when she spoke, especially Omar. Sure don’t see anything like that where I come from. Rebecca turned to me and said, “Tomorrow night the boys will find us transportation so that we can move faster.”

  “You mean steal from someone?” I asked.

  “If we are to outrun Martin, we will have to have help, do you understand?”

  “Yeah, but,” I paused fighting my moral dilemmas. “It’s just that the folks in these parts are poor and need what they have. Plus, I was raised to never cheat or steal from anyone for any reason.”

  “This is for your own good, and more importantly, to save the rest of your people. The further we go, the safer they are,” she explained taking me by the arm.

  “You’re right,” I replied, with a small sigh. “I’m sorry. You’re only trying to help, and I know you mean well, it’s all too much right now.”

  “Come,” Rebecca said as she walked me up to a broken window. “We’ll have plenty of time to work things out.”

  Once inside, we found the door to the cellar, and began our descent. The smell was about as bad as my last home—the crypt—but here, there were no candles or makeshift beds. There were just a bunch of cobwebs and dirt. There were also a few discarded items scattered around, a broken rocker here and a wooden barrel there, but that was about it.

  “Sorry we don’t have a bed for you, like he did,” Omar commented with disdain in his tone.

  “That is about enough, Omar,” Rebecca scolded. I can’t say why, but this man didn’t like me; I could see it in his eyes.

  The four of them found a place for themselves on the floor, so I did the same. No one spoke. We all just drifted off to sleep.

  *****

  When I awoke, the four of them were in what seemed to be a heavy discussion. I could tell it was about Martin and me, because the instant they noticed I was awake, the conversation stopped and they all turned my direction.

  “Oh, you’re awake. How does your arm feel?” Rebecca asked.

  “It’s better, thank you. Um, is there a problem?” I asked, looking from her to the men.

  “No, everything is fine. We just had a small disagreement, it’s nothing to worry yourself about,” she said.

  I didn’t know what was going on, but I wasn’t about to ask in the presence of the three men. I just wanted to be gone from here. I knew Martin was already looking for me, I could feel it. Even if he wasn’t I knew it wouldn’t be long until he was.

  “So, where do we go from here, did ya’ll find a car?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Rebecca answered. “Ronny has one ready outside.”

  “Then can we leave? He’s looking for me, I know it,” I said.

  Omar looked at Rebecca and gave her a small smile, one you wouldn’t notice unless you were looking straight at him. I didn’t try to question his antics; I just got up and started for the stairs. I didn’t have any intention of having a conversation with the likes of Omar, even if I did want to know what that little smirk was all about. He made my skin crawl the first time he opened his mouth, and has had my nerves on edge ever since.

  We all loaded in the vehicle, and traveled throughout the night, stopping only to steal gas. No one spoke much, though Rebecca asked how I was several times. Along our way, we found abandoned houses to seek refuge from the day, even staying in a cramped little crypt in a rundown cemetery. We were usually crowded, but once the sun came up, it didn’t really matter where we slept. The days and nights passed uneventfully. On the fourth night as we were huddled in a dank cellar, the pain in my stomach returned with a vengeance.

  “She needs to feed. We don’t need her weak,” Omar told Rebecca.

  “No,” I cried out. “I won’t hurt another person, I can’t.”

  Omar opened his mouth as if to say something, but Rebecca grabbed his arm.

  “We will teach her to feed without taking life. That is Martin’s way, not ours,” she said looking at me. “We can show you how to survive without causing harm to a normal. Even animals
can serve us well.”

  I thought about it for a moment before agreeing. “Ok, then I’ll feed. I don’t want to slow us down, and give that bastard a chance to catch up. I would rather die than go back with him,” I said.

  I knew that was only part truth. Despite everything, I missed him, or at least some part of me did. The other part wanted his neck hanging from a noose. I could still feel the kiss…our last kiss. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought it was real? Just another of his tricks, I told myself. The neigh of a goat brought me back to reality. I looked up the cellar stairs to see Ronny and Marcos peering down with a brown and white goat between them.

  “Anyone ready for breakfast?” Marcos laughed.

  The rest of us made our way up, and when we surfaced, Ronny pulled out a blade like I had never seen. “What are you going to do with that?” I asked.

  “It’s better to get the blood flowing than trying to bite,” he said. “They‘re too dirty for my taste, if you get my meaning.”

  “Oh, I see...”

  “I prefer the blood of a normal,” Omar interrupted. “This is beneath me,” he said disgustedly.

  “Shut up, Omar,” Rebecca demanded angrily. “You know this is our way now.”

  Omar puffed out his chest, but didn’t say another word. It was obvious he had more to say, but her look stopped him before he could open his mouth. Instead, he clenched his jaws, and left the room. Marcos, with a tin cup in hand, looked to Ronny who then sliced through the goat’s throat. The gurgling noises that followed were enough to make me want to leave the room as well, but I stayed where I was. Marcos filled the cup to the top and handed it to me.