by Marie Jem
“Stefano, what was that?” I asked, angrily.
“It was just a kiss. I thought -,” I didn’t allow him to continue.
“What part of ‘friends’ did you not understand? Friends don’t go around lip locking with one another, Stefano. Just because I hopped on the back of your motorcycle and had too much to drink and ended up sleeping on your couch does not give you the right to kiss me. I really like you as a friend and I don’t want things to change,” I said.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Claire. I really like you a lot and thought this could be something more. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I promise to keep my lips to myself,” he grinned.
“Good. Friends,” I said, extending my hand and shaking his hand. Stefano pulled my hand and drew me close to him and hugged me tightly.
“Friends can hug, it’s okay,” he said, rocking me from side to side. “Call me after you make it home,” he said as I got into my car and started the engine.
I thought about the events of the night before as I drove home. I did have a good time with Stefano. I enjoyed the motorcycle ride, the bar, the drinks and the company. Stefano was the best male friend I had ever had. My job was to keep his lips off of mine, so that we could be true friends without any attachments.
<><><>
I made it home safely and was looking forward to a shower. I called Stefano to let him know I was home and thanked him again for all he had done for me the night before. I started the water in the shower and undressed. My head was pounding so hard from all the alcohol that I had to take a few aspirin to calm it down. I recalled the dinner I had the night before with my brother Calvin when he came out and told me he was gay. It had been an interesting week. There were a few events during the week that had made me sad and upset, but Friday made up for all of that. That Friday night was one of the most exciting nights I had ever had. I was very sleepy from the little sleep I had gotten, so I ended up taking a nap on the sofa for a few hours. I felt refreshed when I awakened and my headache had gone away. Stefano called me later on in the day to ask what my plans were for Halloween.
“There’s a Halloween party at my friend’s house every year and it’s so much fun, Claire. You have to go with me. It’s not a date, I promise. We will go as friends,” he tried to convince me to go.
“But I don’t have a costume,” I began to find excuses.
“It’s not for another few weeks, Claire. You have plenty of time to find a costume, come on,” he pleaded.
“Okay, fine. I will go as your friend,” I emphasized. “But isn’t Halloween on a weeknight this year?” I asked.
“It is, but the party is on the Saturday before Halloween,” he explained.
“I see,” I replied. “So, do you ever go to the studio when there’s nobody there and dance by yourself just for fun?” I asked, curiously.
“Yeah, I do it all the time. Hey, I have an idea. What are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to come to the studio and we can just hang out and dance? You can practice your routine. Since it’s Sunday, the studio is closed all day. It’ll be fun. What do you say?” he pleaded.
“Stefano, you really need to find a girlfriend,” I laughed. “Let me think about it. I don’t know if I should hang out with you after how drunk I was around you last night,” I reminded him.
“Oh come on, Claire. You had a great time, admit it. I had a great time too. Until I find a girlfriend, you have to hang out with me. And whoever I end up dating has to have your stamp of approval, otherwise, I won’t see her anymore,” he noted.
Stefano really made me laugh and was the perfect distraction to keep my mind off of Alex. I was going to be really busy trying to find the perfect girl for Stefano and the perfect man for my gay brother.
<><><>
Sunday morning I received a phone call from Stefano asking me if I had made a decision about dancing and lounging at the studio with him. I really didn’t have anything else planned and knew I would succumb to complete boredom and depression if I stayed home, so I took him up on his offer. But first, I wanted to do grocery shopping for the next week and laundry, so I wouldn’t have much to do during the week. We agreed to meet at the studio around two in the afternoon.
I parked my car in the parking lot of the studio, but did not see Stefano’s Ducati. There was a black BMW M3 parked in the lot and I wondered if anyone else would be joining us. I knocked on the studio door and Stefano opened it, greeting me with a smile.
“Hi, you look nice,” he said. I didn’t think I looked nice. I was in yoga pants and a camisole ready to dance.
“Thank you, Stefano. You look great yourself. Uh, is someone else joining us?” I asked, pointing at the car outside.
“No, that’s me. I don’t ride around in a motorcycle every single day. It’s getting a little cold out,” he replied. Stefano was wearing a black t-shirt and basketball shorts, his usual attire at the studio.
“Come,” he said, pulling me from my hand. “I will show you where the secret refrigerator of goodies is,” he said as he escorted me to another office next to Julietta’s office. We walked in and I realized it was Stefano’s office. I looked around and noticed many posters on the walls of Stefano and various artists that he danced with.
“This is my personal refrigerator. I’ve got all kinds of soda and goodies in here. You can help yourself anytime,” he said.
I couldn’t stop looking at the pictures on his desk with Usher, Lady Gaga, Madonna and many other popular artists.
“Stefano, how come you didn’t tell me you were a celebrity?” I asked.
“Would you have gone out with me if I had? Would it have changed your mind?” he asked.
“No, we’d still be friends only. I don’t choose boyfriends based on their jobs or celebrity status.” I smiled.
“I did some backup dancing for them until I hurt my knee, so I’ve been off that job for almost a year. Once I heal completely, I can go back. But for now, I’m just here at the studio,” he said.
“Very impressive,” I replied, “I hope you heal well and go back,” I added.
“Thanks, me too. So, what do you want to munch on and drink before we dance?” he asked.
“I will eat afterwards. I don’t like to dance on a full stomach, thanks,” I replied.
Stefano and I danced freestyle, making funny faces, doing funny moves. We were acting like two children home alone with newfound freedom. He showed me some very tough moves that I could not repeat. He helped me with the routine in the class until I had it down perfect.
“Five six seven eight,” he began counting as he made sure I danced accordingly to the exact beat. After a few hours of practicing and horsing around acting crazy, we were starved. We went upstairs to the loft area and sat on the sofa. Stefano brought some healthy snacks to hold us over until we cooled down. I pulled up Stefano’s t-shirt sleeve to get a good look at his tattoo. It was a sacred heart with a cross and fire around it.
“You like tattoos?” he asked.
“I like them on others. I have a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder, so if I had one on my body, I would probably try to exfoliate it off,” I explained.” But I do like your tattoos,” I said.
“You sound just like my mom, Claire,” he laughed.
On his other arm, he had a tattoo of a motorcycle with a skull sitting on top with a smile on its’ face.
“Did you make a decision about the Halloween party?” he asked, impatiently waiting for an answer.
“I’m not sure, Stefano. I don’t know if I will be up for it,” I replied.
“Why wouldn’t you be up for it? It’s on a Saturday, there’s no work and no dance classes. Unless you have another party to go to, then I get it,” he replied.
“No, I don’t have other plans. Okay, I’ll go,” I said.
“Awesome! I can’t wait. It’s going to be really fun, I promise,” he said, his eyes bright with excitement. “What kind of a costume did you have in mind?” he asked.
“Let’s
make that a surprise. I won’t tell you what I will dress up as and you won’t tell me either,” I said.
“Deal,” he said and we shook on it. “Let’s go eat some real food,” he said as he took my hand and pulled me off the comfortable couch, so we could go somewhere to eat. I told Stefano to take me someplace he liked to eat. I wasn’t picky and had worked up a huge appetite, so I was going to be able to eat anything that was put in front of me.
I put on my sweatshirt and grabbed my handbag and went out to Stefano’s car as he drove us to one of his favorite restaurants for dinner. It was an Irish pub not too far from the studio and Stefano swore they had the best hot wings. I promised him I would not be putting an alcoholic beverage in my mouth that day. I ordered an iced tea and a large glass of water with lemon. Stefano laughed, reminding me of my drunken state that past Friday night.
“I slightly recall the motorcycle ride. You were so worried that I may fall off, you were holding onto my hands with one hand and operating the motorcycle with the other,” I laughed.” I also remember a bit of the parking garage, but the rest of the night is a complete blur. I feel like such an idiot for drinking so much,” I expressed.
“You just had a very good time. Although, you were really upset about Alex and couldn’t stop talking about him, oh, and Angela, his wife,” he reminded me.
I got very quiet and hoped Stefano wouldn’t remind me of what I had said about Alex and Angela while I was intoxicated. He must have noticed the subject made me sad.
“You really loved him, didn’t you?” he asked.
I nodded, but didn’t speak. I didn’t want to talk about the unhappy things in my life. I wanted to move forward, not backward. The appetizers arrived just in time. Stefano must have been starving because he had ordered enough food to feed an army. I ate as much as I could because I didn’t want to waste too much of it. It was really as delicious as Stefano had said it would be. After we finished eating, Stefano’s eyes lit up.
“Dessert?” he asked.
I put my hand on my stomach, “I think I will explode if I have any dessert,” I replied.
Stefano ordered his favorite dessert anyway.
“We can share it. It’s not too big,” he said. I felt so comfortable around Stefano, as if I had known him since childhood. I was as comfortable around him as I was around my own brothers. I didn’t care if I didn’t wear any makeup or if my hair was a mess or if I was sweaty. I was enjoying spending time with him and laughing at his jokes and funny faces he made from time to time. He had just the right amount of sarcasm.
“Stefano, we really need to find you a girlfriend. Spending all this time with me is not going to put you out there where women can see you,” I said.
“Wouldn’t it be a lot easier if you were my girlfriend?” he grinned.
“No, it wouldn’t because you would be on a one way street. You would be the rebound guy and there is no way on earth I would want you to be a rebound for me,” I expressed.
“So what, make me the rebound guy. Maybe it’ll end up differently than you think. Just give me a chance,” he pleaded.
“No. It’s either we remain friends or we never go out again,” I replied.
“All right, I can’t say that I didn’t try, right?” he asked.
“Stefano, I’ve never met a guy that I can hang out with like this. I’m enjoying your company so much. I feel one hundred percent myself when I’m around you. Do you know how hard it is for a girl to find a guy she can just hang out with like this? It’s like a once in a lifetime thing. Sometimes I wish you were gay, so that I could set you up with someone I know,” I laughed.
“So you went from looking for a girlfriend for me to looking for a boyfriend. Wow,” we both laughed hysterically.
“If we dated and then had a bad breakup, we could never have this again. I would probably end up leaving the studio and that would be it. So as you can see, I don’t want to take that risk,” I explained.
The dessert arrived and Stefano’s eyes lit up like a little boy. It was a warm chocolate cake with a huge scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. I only took one bite and knew it was too rich for me to eat after all that food I had eaten. Stefano devoured every bit of it.
“Okay, buddy, I think you need to drive me back to the studio, so I can pick up my car. Tomorrow is Monday and I have work and dance. My dance instructor does not tolerate tardiness,” I joked.
He drove me back to the studio and dropped me off in the parking lot. He walked me to my car, opened the door for me and gave me a hug.
“Goodnight, buddy,” he said, winking.
“Goodnight,” I replied and drove home.
<><><>
I made a few phone calls when I got home. I called Katherine to catch up on the latest in our lives. She sounded very happy and did not mention any issues about John and the proposal she was longing for. She was happy that I had found a friend like Stefano, but did not think it was possible for two people to remain friends when one was looking for something more.
“It’s worth a try though, Claire. Hopefully he finds a girlfriend and doesn’t keep going after you and missing out on other opportunities,” she said.
I had a missed call from Kristen and returned her call as well. She wanted to talk about my bad breakup that I had promised to fill her in on. I told her the whole story about how I had met Alex and how things had ended up. She was just as shocked as everyone else had been when I got to the part about Angela.
“I’m speechless. What a jerk,” she said.” Why don’t you get together with Stefano? He’s a good guy and he really likes you,” she said. I had to explain to her what I had been explaining to Stefano. She finally seemed to understand and saw things through my eyes. We talked for a long time, filling each other in on everything we could think of. It was getting late and I had to jump in the shower before going to bed. I told Kristen I would see her in class the following day and headed for that warm shower I had been craving. I thought about the weekend and how good it had been, minus the alcohol intoxication on Friday night, which had landed me on Stefano’s couch. The more I thought about it, the more I laughed, realizing it would be one of those stories that I could share with my friends no matter how old we had gotten. I stepped out of the shower, put on my robe, and dried my hair. I made some hot green tea to help me digest the food I had at the pub. I finished all the laundry and sipped on the tea on the verandah. It was a beautiful night. It was clear enough to see the city from my verandah. When I realized it was getting too cold, I headed inside and upstairs to bed. I wished the week to follow was as good as the weekend I had just had. I wondered what kind of drama was in store for me. With many thoughts, good and bad, crossing my busy mind, I had fallen into a deep, comfortable sleep.
Chapter 15
The next morning, I automatically awakened before five o’clock and could not go back to sleep for the life of me. I decided to go for a run instead of toss and turn in my bed. I dressed, put on my running shoes and headed out. It felt invigorating to run again. It felt like I had found the freedom I had lost all those years.
I returned after a long run, showered and dressed for work. There was quite a bit of traffic that morning due to multiple accidents, but I was able to make it to work safe and on time. Laura asked about my weekend and I told her about the motorcycle ride with Stefano and the possible Halloween party that I was thinking about going to.
“The motorcycle ride sounds so exciting. You have to go to the Halloween party. If you don’t go, I will be very upset with you,” she expressed.
“I know, I know. Stefano will be upset if I back out also. I just feel weird after my drunken state and sleepover,” I replied.
“Who cares, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were just having a good time. Don’t you think you deserve that?” she asked. “Besides, you didn’t do anything like sleep with him and I think he was nice enough not to try anything while you were drunk. You’d be surprised what other men would have done in his shoes,” she
said.
Laura was right. Stefano could have taken advantage of me and I would have awakened naked in his bed. I got a lot of work done that day. I believed the morning run was responsible for my work ethic. Laura had a meeting through lunch, so I thought I would head to the cafeteria to pick up some food for myself and eat at my desk while I worked.
I pushed the elevator button and waited for it. I was so distracted returning Katherine’s text that I didn’t realize Alex was in the elevator when I walked in.
“Hi,” he said.
I looked up from my phone to see it was him.
“Oh, hi,” I replied, coldly.
“Going to lunch?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied, short.
“Did you want to grab a bite to eat together before I go to the clinic?” he asked.
“No,” I answered. He had the gull to ask me out to lunch?
Alex pushed the call button on the elevator and stopped it.
“What the hell are you doing, Alex?” I asked, furious with him.
“This seems like the only way to get your attention, Claire. I just want to talk to you about what happened between us,” he said.
“I asked you to please leave me alone. You said you understood and now you’re holding me hostage in an elevator. I don’t get you, Alex. I’m trying to go on with my life, but every time I take a step forward, you pull me two steps back,” I said, pushing him away from the elevator buttons and canceling the call. The elevator continued to my destination and opened its’ doors. I charged out of that elevator so fast, one would assume it were on fire.
I was furious while getting food from the cafeteria. I wanted to go back to work and quit. I thought about resigning and changing my cell phone number as well as my home phone number. I thought about all the ways I could keep Alex away from me. I didn’t want to talk to hear his apologies. I had heard enough of that and it sounded like a broken record. How many times could a man apologize to a woman for breaking her heart into pieces? Did he think it would really change anything? I had lost my appetite by the time I made it to the cafeteria, so I only grabbed a few snacks.