Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves)

by Marie Jem

  <><><>

  I heard noise in the room, but I couldn’t open my eyes. I was so tired and my eyelids felt as though they weighed a ton. I managed to take a peak around me and saw Alex packing everything in the suitcase. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand to see what time it was. It was almost noon.

  “Good morning, beautiful. Sleep a little more. I will do all the packing. Just show me what you’re going to wear to the airport, so I don’t pack those items,” he said. I picked out my clothes that I would wear on our way back home and headed for the shower. I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake up if I didn’t shower. I slowly began to come to life as I dried my hair and put a little bit of makeup on, as I looked a little pale when I looked in the mirror. The alcohol I had that Friday night had done quite a number on my stomach. I knew I wouldn’t be drinking alcohol for a long time after that incident, especially after what I had revealed to Alex that pushed many of his buttons.

  “You all right, baby? You look like you could use some water,” he offered.

  “Yeah, just tired. I didn’t have much water yesterday and those hotdogs were awfully salty,” I replied.

  I had a small bottle of water and felt much better afterwards. We had a few hours before we needed to go to the airport, so we left our suitcase at the bell desk after checking out, so we could have lunch before leaving Las Vegas.

  “Alex, thank you for such a perfect weekend. This was the best birthday I’ve ever had. I love you,” I smiled.

  “This was nothing compared to the places I want to take you in the world, Claire. I’m glad you had a good time. I had a blast and would love to come back here with you. I love you too, baby,” he replied. “Now, eat something to put some color back in your cheeks,” he added.

  “Yes, sir,” I replied with a grin.

  After we finished eating we headed for the slot machines to test our luck one last time before we had to leave for the airport. I won sixty dollars and Alex lost one hundred dollars. Losing money didn’t bother Alex as long as he was having a good time and enjoying himself.

  We arrived at the airport less than one hour before we boarded the aircraft. Alex had booked first class for the returning flight as well, so I anticipated a comfortable flight. We soon landed at Los Angeles International Airport and took Alex’s truck back to his house, where he could check the mail, water the plants, pack his overnight bag for the week, and switch cars.

  I couldn’t wait to get home and change into my pajamas and sip on hot cocoa with Alex. On the drive home, he made me drink an entire bottle of water to hydrate my body.

  “Are you feeling all right, baby?” he asked.

  “I’m feeling fine, Alex. I’m just really tired,” I replied.

  “Probably because you need fluids in your body. You should eat a banana once we get to your place. You will feel much better. Stay off caffeine for the next few days. Oh, and alcohol,” he laughed. “Stay off the alcohol for the next week or so,” he added, smiling.

  “Ugh, just the thought of alcohol is making me nauseous,” I replied.

  Alex laughed and gave me a kiss on my cheek and continued to drive to my place. I began to unpack immediately after we got home, but Alex stopped me and offered to unpack and do all the laundry during the week, since I wasn’t feeling one hundred percent. I ate a banana as he had ordered and finished the bottle of water. It wasn’t long before I began to feel so much better.

  “You’re such a good doctor, Alex. You’re my sexy doctor,” I winked. Alex headed upstairs to take a shower and I followed him, so I could change into my pajamas as I’d been dreaming about all day.

  “You know, I haven’t forgotten about that asshole’s email. I’m going to shove it in his face tomorrow,” he said. I had forgotten about the email and wished he hadn’t reminded me about it.

  “Oh, Alex, forget about it. Let me talk to him instead, please,” I pleaded.

  “It doesn’t work when you talk to him, Claire. He continues to harass you. He needs to hear it from me, so he knows how serious I am about him backing off of you,” he replied. I knew there was no stopping Alex.

  That night I slept like a baby and so did Alex. He had a difficult time waking up early, but he had no choice, as he had an early morning surgery. I slept another hour and got up to pack my dance clothes for class that evening. I was very sleepy on the way to work and traffic was horrendous. I must have looked horrible when I stepped into the department for Laura to ask, “Some weekend, huh?”

  “I’m never drinking again,” I replied. Laura laughed and knew exactly what type of a weekend I had had. I told her about Alex coming across the email from Mark that I had printed out to show him after the weekend and how he was going to confront Mark that morning. She was just as nervous as I about what was going to happen.

  I refrained from drinking coffee that morning and drank a lot of water and herbal teas to keep hydrated as Alex had ordered. I was relieved when I opened my email and didn’t find any from Mark. I didn’t think I could tolerate any more drama that week. Lunchtime came before I knew it and I joined Laura at the Cuban deli. I received a text shortly after we finished eating. It was Alex.

  Mark keeps denying that he sent you that email. That prick lies so much he probably believes he’s telling the truth.

  Maybe he’s afraid to tell you the truth. After all, he’s trash talking about you in the email and was probably too embarrassed to face you. I bet he didn’t think I would show it to you.

  I think you’re right. Did you eat? I’m going to run to the cafeteria and then to the clinic. I miss you already.

  I just ate with Laura. Do you want me to bring back a sandwich for you? I miss you too.

  No, baby, it’s going to be a busy afternoon, so I will pick up something fast from the cafeteria. Thank you for asking. I love you. See you tonight.

  Laura and I walked back to the hospital after lunch, both of us very satisfied and lazy the remainder of the day. I changed into my dance clothes after work and drove to the studio. Stefano greeted me with a smile and asked me about the weekend. I told him about all the surprises Alex had for me and he told me about the wonderful weekend he had with Mandy. Both of our birthdays had turned out to be the perfect weekend.

  “Sounds like you had a lot more alcohol than I did,” he laughed.

  “I’d have to agree with you on that one,” I replied.

  Kristen arrived shortly after I did and couldn’t wait to hear about my weekend with Alex and Stefano’s weekend with Mandy. We talked well into the first ten minutes of class and Stefano had to put an end to the chitchat and begin the class. That class felt like the most difficult dance class since I had joined the studio. My body just wouldn’t cooperate as it normally did. My muscles felt so weak and shaky. I had never had such difficulty dancing. I wondered if I was coming down with some kind of flu or if I was still paying for the weekend drinks. I didn’t trust myself to drive home right away, so I hung around the studio for a while after class ended. Stefano noticed I wasn’t feeling good and even mentioned how unusually pale I looked.

  “Claire, you don’t look so good. Maybe I should take you to the doctor,” Stefano offered.

  “I have a doctor at home, remember? I’ll be fine. I know it’s because I’m really tired from all the fun I had this weekend. Maybe I should have skipped out on class tonight,” I noted.

  “I know exactly what you mean. I almost canceled class tonight because I was so tired,” he replied.

  The studio was empty and everyone had already left. Stefano had to lock up after us. The second I got up from the chair, I felt extremely lightheaded. I began to see black spots before my eyes. When I came to, I saw Stefano over me in a panic.

  “Claire! Can you hear me? You totally fainted! I need to get you to a hospital,” he continued in a panic.

  “No, Stefano, I’m ok,” I said, unsure of myself. I got up slowly with Stefano’s help, but felt so weak as if I was going to lose consciousness again. “I take that back, Stefano, yo
u’re right. I think I have the flu or something,” I said.

  “The nearest hospital is only a few miles away. I’ll help you to my car,” he said, assisting me to the car and making sure I was comfortable. I felt extremely nauseous and lightheaded again.

  “C-c-call Alex,” I said, barely audible. On the way to the hospital, I came in and out of consciousness. I gave my phone to Stefano, since I knew I wouldn’t be able to put two words together and would frighten Alex half to death.

  Stefano found Alex’s number on my cell and called him as he drove.

  “Alex, hey, it’s Stefano. Don’t worry, everything is okay, but Claire passed out after class, so I’m driving her to Santa Monica Hospital. She thinks she may have the flu or something,” I heard Stefano say as I continued in and out of consciousness.

  “He’s going to call the hospital because a friend of his works in the emergency department, so we won’t have to wait long in the waiting room. Claire? Are you with me?” he asked in a panic.

  “Yeah, just drive and get me to the hospital, please,” I pleaded.

  I never imagined it possible to faint constantly while seated, but it kept happening to me that night. I was barely conscious for less than a minute before I fainted again and again. It seemed like an eternity before Stefano pulled up to the emergency entrance of Santa Monica Hospital.

  “I’m going to get you a wheelchair, okay?” he asked.

  I nodded, as I had absolutely no energy to utter another word. I was slipping into a state of unconsciousness once again and felt as though I was going to die right then and there. Stefano brought a wheelchair and helped me sit in it and wheeled me inside right away. While checking in at the reception desk, I heard Stefano mention Alex’s name and the clerk said she was waiting for us to arrive. I felt someone wheel me inside to the emergency room. I was still going in and out of consciousness. I was able to tell them that I did not have any drug allergies. They began intravenous fluids right away and I somehow began to see more clearly. The fainting stopped and I slowly felt like I was coming back to life from the dead.

  “Is there any chance you may be pregnant?” asked the nurse. “When was your last period?” she added.

  “I’m on the pill and take it religiously. I believe I had a very light period a few weeks ago. Ever since I began taking the pill my periods have been very light,” I noted.

  The phlebotomist came in and took blood to check my electrolytes and whatever else they needed to prove I may have the flu. The nurse let me know that the doctor would see me shortly.

  A tall man stepped into the room and introduced himself. He was African American with a short gray beard and a receding hairline.

  “Hello Ms. Morgan, I’m Dr. Webb. I understand you fainted after dancing. Do you have any history of heart disease?” he asked. The questions went on and on and I answered them to the best of my knowledge. “We are just going to give you a few bags of IV fluids and see how you feel why we run your blood results. I will be back shortly to check on you,” he added and stepped out of the room.

  My mouth was so dry and I was so thirsty, but too nauseous to drink water. The nurse said I could have ice chips and Stefano offered to get them for me, since he had seen the ice machine down the hall. I heard Alex’s voice outside the room inquiring about my condition. He stormed inside the room in a panic, “Claire, what happened, baby? How are you feeling now?” he asked, looking over everything the doctors and nurses had done and noted.

  Dr. Webb walked back into the room and greeted Alex. “Good to see you, Alex. Well, I do have some good news for you two. Your blood results returned positive for pregnancy. Congratulations,” he said. Everything after that was as clear as mud. I noticed Stefano had walked in with the cup of ice chips as Dr. Weber delivered the news. I was numb. The results must be in error, I thought. I felt the blood slowly drain from my body.

  Chapter 23

  I was in complete shock from the news delivered by Dr. Webb. I knew it had to be a mistake. Maybe my blood samples had gotten mixed up with another patient’s blood samples. Maybe the birth control pills had caused a positive result instead of a negative result. I had a light period a few weeks prior to my hospital visit. I was in complete denial. I looked at Alex who looked just as shocked as I was. Stefano had a big smile on his face and seemed to be so much happier with the news than we were.

  “I’m going to page the obstetrician on call for your ultrasound. Once again, congratulations and I will check in on you before you’re discharged,” he said and left the room. Alex greeted Stefano very coldly with just a simple “hello”, without even looking at him. He walked towards me and gave me the cup of ice chips he brought for me.

  “Uh, here you go, Claire. Congrats, you two,” he said, looking at Alex uncomfortably. “I, uh, I’m going to head out,” he said as he hugged me and wished me well. “I’ll call you later to check on you. Goodnight, Alex,” he said without looking his way and left.

  “How far along are you, Claire?” asked Alex in a cold tone.

  “How would I know that when I just found out I am pregnant, Alex?” I asked.

  “Please tell me it’s not his. Is it his?” he asked.

  “Did you just ask me if this baby is Stefano’s?” I asked, my jaw dropping.

  “It’s a possibility, isn’t it?” he asked.

  “You’re unbelievable,” I replied and stopped talking to him. I couldn’t even bring myself to argue with him as the shock of the pregnancy news was still in my system and his response to the news was like icing on the cake. The glass door opened as a beautiful Asian woman walked in and introduced herself.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Tan, how are we all doing tonight? Congratulations on the pregnancy. I’m going to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound, so we can see the little peanut in your uterus,” she said as she rolled an ultrasound machine inside the room. Before she began the ultrasound, I asked if Alex could leave the room.

  “You don’t want me in here, Claire?” he asked, surprised by my sudden rejection.

  “Dr. Tan, I would feel much more comfortable if he stepped out of this room,” I stated, looking directly at Alex.

  “Uh, sure. Would it be alright for you to step out until we are done?” asked Dr. Tan. Alex just glared at me for a few seconds with anger in his eyes and turned around and exited the exam room. He closed the glass door as Dr. Tan pulled the curtains for more privacy.

  “I’m sorry, he’s just not on my good side today,” I explained.

  “That’s perfectly fine. I want you to feel comfortable,” she replied, smiling. She protected the probe with a large elastic object that looked like a big condom, lubricated it and entered it inside to get a good picture of my uterus and measure the size of the fetus. She asked me to look at the monitor at the baby’s fast beating heart. It really looked like a peanut shell with a rapid heartbeat. I couldn’t believe there was a tiny little life growing inside me.

  “Hmm, everything looks pretty good in there. I’m going to do a measurement to estimate how many weeks you are. I believe the periods you thought that you had were not real periods. It was probably some abnormal breakthrough bleeding or spotting. According to my measurements, you are approximately eight weeks along. It takes a few months for birth control to work effectively. You may have not waited long enough before having unprotected sex, which resulted in pregnancy. Looks like this baby is just meant to be,” she smiled. “Pregnant women get dehydrated easily, so it’s pretty common. All of your lab results came back normal, aside from your potassium and iron, which are a bit low. We will give you something for that. Do you have any questions for me?” she asked.

  Questions? I had a book full of questions. I had been taking aspirin and drinking alcohol more in the past few months than in my entire life. Dr. Tan told me to immediately begin prenatal vitamins and stay away from alcohol and only take acetaminophen if I had a headache. I was so worried that my drinking had done something to the baby that we would find out later on in further ultrasoun
d studies. She reassured me that I didn’t know, so nothing I did was deliberate, but to stop immediately and change my lifestyle.

  Dr. Tan gave me a copy of the ultrasound, which had my name on it and how many weeks along I was. I asked her kindly if she could slip it into my purse, which Stefano had put on the chair next to me. I didn’t want Alex to see the ultrasound just yet. She put the ultrasound in my purse and pulled the zipper closed as I asked. I thanked her for her assistance.

  My heart sank when I remembered I would be dealing with Alex and his jealousy issues that night. I really didn’t have the strength or the heart for his distrust. Dr. Tan left the room and Alex returned. “Why did you kick me out like that, Claire?” he asked, fire in his eyes.

  “You didn’t deserve to be in here, Alex. You didn’t deserve to see that baby. You even have doubts that it’s your baby, so I’ve decided to leave you with those thoughts until after the baby is born,” I said, looking sharply into his eyes. Just then Dr. Webb came back into the room to let me know I would be discharged. I was to stay home from work the next few days to get good rest. Alex went to the pharmacy to pick up my prenatal vitamins and returned to drive me home. My car was at the dance studio parking lot and was the least of my worries. Stefano texted to let me know he would drop it off with Mandy the following night to see how I was doing. I thanked him and apologized for Alex’s behavior.

  I don’t blame him. I’d be jealous too if you were my girlfriend and a handsome guy like me took you to the hospital. I’m just kidding. Just wanted to make you laugh. Hope you feel better.

  Thank you, Stefano. That was really funny by the way. See you guys tomorrow night.

  <><><>