The Resurrectionist

by Michael Gesellchen

Moving the rock opened a beam of light that shone into the hole, consuming the darkness that was once there. Slimy moss and condensation covered the walls. The pit wasn’t deep. The outline of a man shadowed against the wall. I drew my hands in a defensive position.

  "Who are you?” I called down. “Why are you there?”

  "There is no forgiveness for what I have done."

  Below me sat an empty, broken man, curled in fetal position. All hope drained from him long ago. I didn't sense evil. I sensed guilt. Heavy guilt. Guilt so heavy that it pinned whatever remained of his soul to the bowels of hell.

  "There was a time I would have argued with you. Now I'm not so sure. I've had some experiences that questioned my thinking, made me wonder, wonder if there is redemption, even for us. I even found light." I said.

  "You don't know anything about the light." The man said. "I was there. I stood next to it. I was to bear witness to its greatness. I can't be forgiven. I've seen the light and purposely turned from it. That cannot be forgiven." The man said.

  "We've all done things we've regretted. It's part of being human. I feel tremendous regret for what I've done. I too turned from the light, made a mockery of it. The evil I've sown, the people I've betrayed." I told him.

  "You don't know anything about betrayal, about breaking someone's heart!" The man lashed back. I put my hands up and moved back.

  "I didn't think it was possible until I met a spirit here, a much greater spirit than me. I think he was a messenger of some sort, like a guide. He instilled hope that I can escape, that I can be forgiven. You probably think I'm crazy, but I'm telling you the truth. I'm taking you with me. Get up!"

  "No you're not." The man said.

  "Look, I know it seems preposterous, a long shot, but I need you. I need your help. I don't care what you've done or what you think you've done. We're leaving. We can escape this hell. Hellfire is not eternal, it's a lie."

  The man looked up at my eyes wild with passion. "I know." He said. "I'm not going."

  "Oh my God! It's you! I've seen you before. You're the disheveled man in my vision! The man who escaped from those hideous creatures. The man who appeared on Corbin's computer the first time I was at Gateway!"

  The man stood up on both feet and proceeded through the tunnel which Allison and I had come from. “Wait! Don’t go that way! It’s the wrong way!”

  "No," he said turning back. "It's exactly where I belong."

  I stuck my head back into the crawl space but he was gone. I couldn't go after him. A wanted poster hung back that way, with my head on it.

  I jumped into the hole to see if the man left any belongings that may prove useful. The space was empty, but for a small flicker of light that appeared in the distance. I gathered Allison, to do it all over again.

  The crawl was no easier the second time. Afterward, the skin was gone. Through grace, we reached a clearing, the other side of the mountain. The ground was flat indicating we had ascended upward. The air was lighter than the previous realm. Flashbacks of my first experience in hell rampaged through my mind. They were oddly welcomed. I screamed in joyous celebration. It was brief. Uneasiness fell upon me. I threw Allison over my shoulder and stepped forward. Two dark eyes stared into mine no more than three feet from my face. I turned to the right, the same eyes were there. To the left, the same. Hunters, we were surrounded.

  Chapter 22

  My body fell to the ground in exhaustion, only to be jolted back up. A hand squeezed my shoulder, sending me spinning around. “I knew you’d come.” Allison smiled with soft blue eyes. She stood on her own. Her scars had almost healed and most of the dried blood had been washed from her face, beautiful. My arms lunged to embrace her. We fell into a pool of tears.

  This time it was her, the one who picked me up off the ground. I was lost for words as I always had been when she was around. “I was awake, you know, aware. My soul knew, even though my eyes couldn't see. I know what you did for me. I know all of it. You pulled me out. You saved me.” Allison said.

  Her deep blue eyes still leaking water at the corners, told a journey of pain and suffering. “All of it?” I asked. Allison could only nod. My head fell into my hands as she spoke.

  “I was in a place of total darkness. I couldn’t even stand. There was only room to sit. If I stretched my legs out they would hit a wall before being fully extended. I had maybe three feet of space on either side of me. I can’t count and describe how many times I cried.”

  “Allison! I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I should have seen it coming. I should have been there to stop it. To help you! If only I could have told you my true feelings. How I really felt about you. Not just stuff them away and pretend they were insignificant. You don’t know how many times I wish I would have said those words that were impossible for me to say!” If I could have ripped my heart out I would have, anything to stop the pangs of guilt.

  Allison placed my hand in hers. “It’s not your fault Will. I made my choices. I fell off the path. In the end it was my salvation.”

  I choked back tears. “How?”

  "My tears moved me to forgiveness. It took that experience for me to realize how much I hated my father, and to realize how human he was. Our paths took different turns but it in the end it didn't matter. I realized my anger towards him was an illusion, a barrier I erected so I wouldn’t have to deal with the sadness and the reality that my mother was gone. Hating my dad wasn’t going to bring her back. It should have brought us closer, instead we both tried to deal on our own terms and be tough. That never works. Together we would have been strong. Apart, well, look how we ended up."

  "My father didn’t understand how to reach out and comfort me, but the comforter finally came. After all these years, after all these years it finally came.” Allison glowed with a heavenly light I'd never seen before. “When I let go of the anger, my soul opened. For the first time I noticed a small spark, no bigger than a pinhead in the middle of my chest.” She pointed at her midsection and then at mine. “You have one too.” I glanced down. It was there, like she said it was. Had I not seen it before?

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Light,” she smiled. Allison’s light burned brighter, there was no comparison.

  “There is light in the darkness." I said. "I've been searching, looking everywhere for it. I never thought it would be hiding in plain sight, inside me."

  “All I know is that when I sincerely think of forgiving my father it glows brighter, see.” Allison closed her eyes. I could almost see her thoughts of love going out to her father. The spark in her chest glowed stronger. An intense heat cut through the chill of the air around us. The heat was both painful and comforting. I turned my face when it's intensity burned too powerful. A give and take, push and pull, formed between the light and I. Magnetically drawing me towards it, yet burning each time I got close. My whole being was enveloped in darkness until now, until I became aware of the spark of light inside me. Jimmy's words rang through my mind. “His spirit, they say, shines with the glories of a thousand heavens.” The realization came, along with my shame. How could I have missed it, been so blind. My spirit shined, about as bright as a pinhead.

  Allison was stronger than me, gave comfort in my despair. She reminded me how to love, without saying a word. She taught me to pray and ask for help. The light within was the key. The light illuminated the darkness. Consumed it. Banished it.

  So when the hunters surrounded us, she took my hand and squeezed it tight. We drowned in love. Her light was powerful, it drove back the darkness, repealing the hunters. The beasts gnashed and gnarled their teeth. Swinging razor claws madly in the air. The light was our protector, holding them at bay. The knot in my throat tightened with each step, but Allison was strong. She wasn’t afraid. She guided us through the beasts who were burned by the fire of love.

  “There, we must hurry.” She pointed.

  “I don’t see anything.” I said.

  “Trust me. We must go!" />
  We traveled an endless mile. The same fatigue I felt carrying Allison was now plaguing her. The beasts were relentless, following us hungrily, waiting for their chance. Allison pointed off into the distance. We quickened our step as the growls grew louder. The glow around Allison dimmed as she struggled to pull us through. The light Allison saw in the distance grew brighter with each cruel step over the jagged terrain. It was beacon. A guiding light. A rugged mountainside drew near.

  "I'm so tired." Allison whispered. We put our arms around each other, dragging ourselves, willing ourselves towards the light.

  "There's a line, at the bottom. I see it." I said. The light we followed transformed into a paper thin line at the base of the rock.

  The weight of the beasts bore down on us. Allison's light faded in exhaustion. A voice called out. “Hurry! Run!” The sliver of light grew wide as an opening emerged from the rock. We slammed into the mountain door just as a hand reached from the light and pulled us through. The door slammed shut with tremendous force sending horror and evil throughout the mountain interior. The hunters scratched and banged on the outside, but could not penetrate.

  “William.” I opened my eyes only to shield them with my forearm. The voice was familiar. “William. Can you hear me?”

  I sat up. “Jimmy?” I tried to look around the room, opening my eyes far enough not to let too much light penetrate the slits. A monitor in the corner of the room switched on. Jimmy’s face was staring at me. “Where am I?”

  “You're at Refuge.” Jimmy spoke through the monitor.

  “Refuge?"

  “Yes, it’s a safe haven for escaping souls.”

  “So it's true, we escape hell. We've been on the run for so long. I was beginning to doubt." I said.

  “Do you think the Father would turn his back on you? For all eternity? No, the Father has been reaching his hand to you, guiding you this whole time. Your spiritual darkness prevented you from understanding it.” Jimmy said.

  “But the preachers on the street corners in my town. They say hell is eternal, that there is no escape, no forgiveness.”

  “That's what the darkness wants you to believe. It’s a teaching of the false prophet. We've been trying to reverse its damage for the past thousands of years.”

  "Thousands of years," my mind unable to grasp the concept.

  A door opened behind me. I scrambled to defend myself. No attacker came. My eyes adjusted to the intense light that seemed to come from behind a figure, creating a silhouette of a man standing in the doorway. I strained hard to see his face but couldn’t make out any features. The light was too blinding. Jimmy’s voice sounded in my ear. “I believe you’ve met my brother.” The air left my lungs as the silhouette approached.

  “Who are you?” I asked, still unable to get a clear picture.

  “Names are not important.”

  “Jimmy called you his brother.” I said.

  “James and I shared the same earthly mother.” The man laid his hand flat. A glowing mist hovered just above it. He instructed me to look inside. I saw two men sitting next to each other on a log. They looked to be in their early to mid-twenties. They were tired. Tired from a long day’s work. The two were eating fish when a tall, slender man approached them. Long auburn hair flowed to his shoulders. Impressive in stature, I sensed this man was powerful. He motioned for the two sitting on the log to follow. They dropped their fish, got up, and went with him.

  “You asked for the helper and I sent her in his name.”

  My heart was on fire. It burned in the presence of this silhouetted man. His light burned away my darkness. “Stop!” I cried. “The light burns so great?”

  “The essence of God, brought on by the Holy Spirit. The great comforter and helper that has been promised to all who seek him. It’s cleansing power is strong.” My body writhed in pain as it tossed and flailed on the floor. A flood of images from my life forced their way into my awareness. The evil deeds I had done. The anger and hate I had held in my heart, laid bare for me to see.

  “Oh God! I'm so sorry!” I wailed. The pain pushed me to the limit. The man closed his hand and the mist disappeared along with the intense light. I laid on the floor, unable to move.

  “You will recover. Soul cleansing is never easy. You have a lot of dirt on yours.” I looked up, still unable to see his face.

  “Did you fix me?” I asked.

  “You are on the right path. The path that leads home. Remember what James said. Healing is like losing a hundred pounds. It’s not an automatic process. You have over a thousand pounds to lose.” The man turned and closed the door behind him. Leaving me in the unknown.

  I laid on the floor, talking to myself. “Dr. Z. used to say the same thing. That healing is like losing a hundred pounds.” I shot up off the floor. “Dr. Z?”

  Allison walked into the room, radiant. Her face beamed with a brilliant soft glow. Her hair, no longer dirty and matted, but long and beautiful. “This is it.” She said, looking at me with love.

  "This is it? What are you talking about?" I asked.

  "Will, you’re going back."

  “Back! Back to hell! No way! I won’t go! I can’t go!”

  Allison's eyes were moist with compassion. “Earth. Will, you can’t stay because you aren’t dead.”

  “What? Impossible. I've been here, it feels like forever.”

  “Your body has been in a coma this entire time.” Allison said.

  I stood up. "No, I won’t go back. I can’t leave you! Come with me then." Allison placed her hand on my shoulder and gently lowered me down.

  “I can’t go with you. My body died. I'm a spirit now. My sins have been washed. I can move on thanks to you.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “However, I’m staying. I’m staying to rescue my father, and my mother.”

  “Your mother. Is she ok?”

  “I’m afraid not.” Allison's eye’s lowered. I punched the wall next to us.

  “I knew she shouldn’t have done it. It was stupid. It was suicide!”

  “She did it for me. For us. She did it for my father.”

  “Your father?”

  “Will, she was strong enough to hold off the guards. She lowered her cross, intentionally.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “To be with him. She loves him. She didn’t want him to go through it alone.”

  “So she just willingly gave herself over to torture?”

  “She knew it was the only way to save him. She couldn’t take on the entire city. She wasn’t strong enough for that. She knew they would take her to my father. You know, to play their twisted games."

  “Allison, I have to be honest, I don’t know.” I tried to grab onto her. To hold her and take her with me. I was selfish. “I need you. I need your love. You've always been stronger than me. We both know it. I’m not like you. I’m not a good person. I can’t do it alone. I will fail. Please! Allison. They said there is more work to be done.”

  Allison took my arms and placed them at my side. “You're right, and you're wrong. There is more work for you, but you aren’t alone. This is your problem Will, you are a good person. You've always have been good. You just couldn't see it. You just never loved yourself like other’s have loved you.”

  Allison reached out her fingers and touched my eyelids, closing them. The touch of an angel. My pain was taken away in that moment. I opened my eyes and looked into hers.

  “Monika?”

  “Oh my God, Will! You’re back!”

  Chapter 23

  “Nurse! Nurse! Doctor!” I heard excitement and fear in Monika’s voice. “He’s awake! Hurry!” The room flooded with people I'd never seen before.

  “Where am I?” I asked. Monika stared at me, unable to speak.

  “You’re at St. John’s hospital. There was an accident. You’ve been in a coma for three months." A nurse's voice sounded from my right side. I scanned the room. It was eerily recognizable. It was the same room I had been in with Allison.

  Th
e doctors ran every test they could but found nothing. I just simply woke up. They kept me in the hospital for a week, just to be sure. Monika visited every day. I thought about Allison when she wasn’t there. I pictured Jimmy in my mind, how he talked about redemption. I thought about his brother, the mysterious figure who burned so bright. Were these the same brothers I read about in the journal? Was Jimmy some holy vigilante running around the netherworlds saving lost souls? So many questions. I wondered if it was real, or if I had that psychotic break, the third mental disturbance I dreaded so much. Was Allison, was hell just a figment of a false reality? It had to be real. Didn’t it?

  I might never know, never prove it. Allison was gone, that was real. I needed to let her go. I was changed by the experience. My heart softened. My mind no longer anxious. I didn’t fear others. I didn’t fear myself. The light, the love of God had changed me, renewed me. My soul had been fractured in life, in death it had been made whole.

  Monika and I talked for hours the night before my release. "When we couldn't bring you back, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do so I brought you here. Corbin and Justin wanted to keep you at Gateway, but I insisted we seek medical help. I made up a lie, said you fell off your bike and were laying in the ditch when I drove by, picked you up, and brought you here." Monika said.

  "You're kind, Monika. I feel safe with you." I said. "You should go, get some rest. You look tired."

  "I'm so tired." Monika smiled, pausing for a moment before speaking. "Will, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you."

  "What is it?"

  "This is probably bad timing." Monika fidgeted on the bed. "Um, when you were gone, I mean in that coma, I um, I couldn't imagine you not being here. I stayed, a lot, oh God I feel kind of-"

  "You stayed here, with me." I'd never seen Monika this nervous before. She always exuded confidence. It was making me a little uncomfortable, but she was sweet.

  "I stayed every night. Praying for you, and her."

  "Her?"

  "You're girlfriend, Allison." Monika stumbled over her words.