Art by Adonis

by Kris Sawyer

  She squeezed his hand and he looked up at her. He always thought his mother had beautiful eyes. They had such depth in them that she could express each of her emotions through them. Right now, he could see the desperation in them hoping to make her son see the whole situation in its true sense but they also expressed her concern and love for him as well as Rick.

  “I don’t know why but I sensed a loneliness in him. Sure, his sister was around but for some reason, she wasn’t enough.”

  “He doesn’t really have anyone else.”

  “I figured. I know his dad isn’t in the picture. But what about his mom?”

  Aidan sighed. “She has her own family now and doesn’t want anything to do with Rick.”

  “My God!” She covered her mouth and her eyes went wide. “Poor soul. I can’t imagine his pain going through all that.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You better treat that child well, Aidan. Life has been so unkind to him. You’ll be answerable to me if you ever hurt him.”

  Aidan laughed. “Did you somehow forget that I am your son?”

  She shook her head. “I’m serious, Aidan. You’ve got to treat Rick better. Promise me.”

  “Okay, okay.” He said, holding his hands up in defeat. “I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love him, mom. So, you’ve nothing to worry about there.” She tilted her head and sighed. Aidan patted her hand. “I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend there is.”

  The next morning, he opened his eyes to the pleasant sight of Rick’s face. How I wish I could wake up this way every day! He thought to himself and smiled. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” Rick whispered and with no prior warning, his eyes welled up. “I’m so sorry.” He repeated over and over again. Aidan sat up too quickly for his head to recover and felt a bit dizzy at that moment. But he didn’t care. He concentrated on soothing his boyfriend. It took Rick a few minutes to recover and he apologized again grabbing some tissues.

  “What’s wrong?” Aidan leaned over as much as he could and put his right hand around him. Rick had rested his head down on the bed. “You do realize that I’m alive, right?” He tried to make the situation light but got slapped on his forearm in return. “Ow!”

  “Don’t even kid about that.” Rick warned him without looking up. “I was so scared,” he whispered.

  “I know.” He kissed his head and rubbed his back soothingly. “But I’m getting better now, ain’t I?”

  He nodded and stayed silent for a while. “They caught him,” he said. “Zigmund.”

  “The guy who …”

  “Yeah… him,” Rick said. He sniffed and looked up resting back on his wheelchair. “He’s a gang leader and Victor was apparently a member of his gang.”

  Aidan exhaled. “Yeah, I figured that out by myself from what he said. But what did he want from Jenny?”

  “I guess he wanted her to help drop the charges against Victor.” Rick huffed. “I guess he must be really stupid if he didn’t realize that what he did to you would get him into more trouble. The feds were already involved with his gang dealings and now with the attempted murder, the case against him has gotten stronger. Jenny and I went down to the station and gave our statements to the cops. And I’ve a feeling that Victor has started talking too.”

  “This is some fucked up shit, you know.”

  “Can’t agree more.” He stared into Aidan’s eyes. “Jenny feels really guilty about all this. She just stepped outside to get some coffee. But she wanted to be here when you woke up and say sorry.”

  Aidan jerked his head, furrowing his brows in deep thought. “Why sorry? None of this is her fault.”

  Rick looked away. “Well, it kinda is. You didn’t know what you were getting into when you agreed to let her stay with us. She should have told you about Victor’s gang connections. And so should I – but I swear I only suspected it. Didn’t know anything for sure. But Jenny knew. And she should’ve seen this coming. That’s what she kept saying.”

  Aidan held Rick by his chin and made him look back up and earnestly said, “She couldn’t have known, Rick. So, I don’t blame her for this at all.”

  “Well, I blame her.” He rolled his wheelchair around and took it near the window. Looking out, he crossed his arms. “If she’d have just been with us, Zigmund wouldn’t have had a reason to hurt you.”

  “Is that really what you think?” Rick didn’t respond and Aidan stared in disbelief at the back of his head. “Trust me, even if Jenny would’ve been there, that asshole would have still beaten me up because I wouldn’t have let him get anywhere near her … at least till the time I was in complete senselessness.” His nose flared in rage. “Come on, Rick. Think about it. After knocking me cold, he would’ve definitely gotten what he wanted. And then it would have been worse,” he said, his tone a little raised. “Or would you rather prefer to let that happen?”

  Rick turned his chair slightly enough to gaze over his shoulder. “What I’d have preferred is for things to not escalate to this level. I regret bringing you into this whole mess. You didn’t deserve it.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “You don’t deserve any of this, Aidan. And…” Rick said, slowly shutting his eyes, “you definitely don’t deserve me. I’ve got too much baggage that I don’t want to dump on you. My life’s a mess and you shouldn’t be dealing with it.”

  “Rick, will you …”

  His eyes flew open and moistened when he said, “In the parking lot, when Zigmund was beating you up? Or when you were lying there covered in blood? I couldn’t do anything to help you.” Rick looked down on his lap with disgust. “I never realized until then what a fucked up life I was living… being stranded in my wheelchair. Completely useless. Helpless.”

  Aidan could see the problem clearly now. His initial apology, his anger toward his sister was originating from the fact that Rick couldn’t help Aidan when he was in need. Of course. It was obvious Rick would be overwhelmed in such a situation. “Will you please come here?” Aidan whispered, tilting his head and stretching his hand out toward his boyfriend.

  However, Rick shook his head and his voice cracked when he said, “I’m so glad you’re doing better, Aidan. But I think it’s for the best that …” He took a pause and swallowed a lump visibly before continuing, “… that Jenny and I move out.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “And also, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” He blurted before Aidan could even finish the sentence. Suddenly, it felt like a bomb had gone off inside that room. There was a distinct buzz in Aidan’s ears after Rick had said it. Aidan wanted to believe he’d heard it wrong but unfortunately, he hadn’t. It took him several attempts to form a good enough sentence to say anything at that moment but before he could actually utter any of it, Jenny arrived back in the room and the moment was interrupted.

  Aidan stayed in the hospital for two more days and whatever rare moments when Rick came in to check on him, their conversation always got interrupted by someone coming into his room. It frustrated Aidan. He had so much to tell Rick and he couldn’t. So, when the doctor gave him the green signal and he was ready to go home, Aidan decided to talk to him the first thing he could as soon as they had some privacy.

  Aaron drove him back in his car and Aidan could see the discomfort rising in his brother. “Listen, I got to get this off my chest.” Aaron said finally and glanced briefly before turning his gaze back on the road. “I’m sorry I didn’t stick around long enough with you guys. I feel guilty for not being there by your side to fight the bad guys.”

  Aidan nodded with a smile. “I bet we’d have taken them down together.”

  “I’m serious, Aidan.”

  “And I’m serious too.” His brother let out a sigh of frustration and Aidan realized that the same as Jenny and Rick, Aaron blamed himself too. “Look, none of this is your fault. It was all a domino effect which started with Victor’s arrest. They wanted Jenny and I was coming in between their pl
an. They’d have tried to kill you too if you’d been there, man.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “They’re powerful people, man. Did I deal with the situation smartly? Maybe not. But I’m still alive, ain’t I? And that Zigmund guy, his other gang members and Victor are all in custody. So, everything worked out in the end.”

  Aaron pursed his lips thoughtfully and said after a minute of silence passed between them. “Not everything.”

  “What do you mean?” Aidan frowned, staring at his brother.

  “Rick and Jenny are leaving town. Rick told you right?”

  Aidan looked out the window and ran his hand through his hair. It was windy that day and a fresh breeze hit his face bringing in a peculiar fruity scent that overwhelmed his senses. His eyes moistened with the memory of how Rick had ended things between them. However, he refused to break down. He was determined to get it all straightened out. “Yeah, he did. But I’m not letting him go that easily. If he isn’t going to, I’ll fight for us.”

  “Aidan, I don’t think it’s going to be that simple.” Aaron said with hesitation. He checked the rearview mirror as he took an exit off the freeway. “I talked to Jenny earlier today and she said that Rick had made up his mind. In fact, they were already packing up their stuff.”

  That worried Aidan a bit. “When did she say they’d leave?”

  “She didn’t say. But I got the feeling that he wanted out as soon as possible.”

  “Damn it. Then I’ll have to talk to Jenny first. Maybe we both could convince him to stay?”

  “Believe me, Jenny and I tried talking some sense into him but he wouldn’t listen to us. Rick has made up his mind that if he stayed, it would do you more harm than good.”

  Aidan couldn’t control his anger at that moment. “What the hell is he talking about? Doesn’t he know how depressing my life will be without him in it?”

  “Maybe he does, Aidan. But I think we both know where his insecurities are coming from.” Aaron looked at him with forlorn eyes and said, “Jenny told me about their mother and how she always treated him like an outsider.”

  “Yeah,” Aidan said and sighed. He looked away thinking about the time when Rick had told him about his past. The look on his face was imprinted on his mind. That was the moment when Aidan had felt protective toward the man for the first time.

  “Listen man, with Rick, I think you have a better connection… I’ve seen you with him and I feel he gets you. It may be difficult to convince Rick but I’m sure it’s not impossible for you.” He playfully hit his brother’s bicep with a fist and Aidan looked back at his smiling face. “Cheer up. Everything’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.”

  Aaron pulled into the driveway in the next few minutes. Carefully, he got out of the car and winced. His body still ached in pain. Fortunately, he hadn’t suffered any fractures despite how badly Zigmund had beaten him up. However, there were multiple internal injuries that the doctors had to tend to. His head injury seemed more concerning at first, they’d said. When they ran some more tests, they realized it wasn’t as critical and so, they let him go.

  With Aaron’s help, he entered his house expecting to find Rick waiting eagerly for him. Instead, he was greeted with an insufferable silence. Aidan’s heart skipped a beat. He called out his name. “I’m home.” He looked at his brother, who looked just as scared as him. “Jenny? Rick?” He yelled but there was no response. They went from room to room finding no one else in the house. Rick’s clothes were gone and so were Jenny’s. There was no trace of them ever living there.

  Bratty stared at Aidan from the corner of the bedroom and he signaled her to come near. She meowed and rubbed her ears against his foot. He smiled down at her and picked her up.

  When Aidan came out to the living room, he found Aaron by the coffee table looking at him with sympathetic eyes. In his right hand was a letter.

  Putting Bratty down on the couch, he held his hand out. “Let me read it.” He voice cracked when he spoke.

  Hesitantly, Aaron walked up to him and handed it over. Aidan’s hands shook as he took it and read.

  Dear Aidan,

  I never wanted things to end up like this. What we had was always special to me. Please remember that. Even as I make this decision to leave, my heart hurts because I know you and I trust that you’d talk me into staying. Because I believe that you love me so much that nothing would matter to you. But it matters to me that I almost lost you because I couldn’t do a thing to protect you. I’m now burdened with that guilt for the rest of my life.

  I do love you, Aidan. But I’ve realized that love is not enough. I’m not capable of taking care of you the way I should. So, I’m taking a step back to let you live your life with someone who can do that. It hurts me to think of you with someone else. I wanted to be selfish and continue the way we were. But the future scares me.

  Jenny and I are leaving town. I know you will try, but please, I don’t want you to try to find us.

  Always and forever yours,

  Rick.

  Five months later …

  “I can’t believe we’re in New York,” Kim said in a high pitched tone. Aidan glanced at her. The excitement amused him extremely.

  “And I can’t believe you’ve never been to New York before.”

  They walked down the busy street near Times Square to find the restaurant that his father had raved about. Their hotel was just a block away, so they decided to go on foot.

  “I would have but my boss never asked me to tag along whenever he visited.” She smirked and rubbed her gloved hands together before blowing into them.

  It was true. He’d never felt the need to ask her before to accompany him on any of his trips. Whatever contact she had with the art dealers was either through phone, email or skype. But he always needed her at an exhibition and for the first time, he was displaying his portraits outside Los Angeles. So, there was no reason to leave her behind. “Everyone needs to experience the magic of this city at least once. The city is so great that they named it twice.”

  Kim snickered. “You sound like one of those hosts on tourist buses talking extravagantly about the place they’re showing.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  He held the door open and signaled for her to go in first. She smiled and obliged. The waiter guided them toward the seating area and offered them a seat near the window. As they placed their individual orders, Kim’s phone chimed and she checked the incoming text. “It’s Sue. She’s confirmed that all your paintings have been delivered to the venue safely and they’re all set.”

  “Good. After the exhibition, please send her some flowers with a nice thank you note, will you?” He said, tucking the napkin into his collar. “She’s been of great help.”

  After a few seconds of typing into the phone, she kept it aside and said, “Noted. So, consider it done.”

  He gave her a nod before his eyes caught the sight of two men who sat by the table placed at the far end of the restaurant. They were holding hands and sitting close to each other, seemingly on a date. Looking at them, his thoughts drifted off as he remembered his first official date with Rick and a smile made its way onto his lips easily. Aidan had genuinely had a great time that day. That’s why he remembered that day so vividly. He could even recollect what they both wore, what food they had, which drinks they’d ordered. He still found it amusing how Rick called him ‘Mr. Ross’ till that very day. And the kiss …

  The waiter suddenly appeared with their food and his train of thought was interrupted. It left him feeling utterly annoyed. When he looked across the table, Kim was looking at him with narrowed eyes. So, he averted his eyes quickly and his face felt hot. As soon as the waiter left, she blurted out the question she’d been meaning to ask, “You were thinking of him, weren’t you?” He refused to respond. Instead, he slowly drained the glass of wine that the waiter had poured for him. By avoidance, he hoped to dodge her line of questioning. “Aidan, please. Will you lis
ten to me for once? It’s not healthy the way you’re living your life. Rick has made his choice to move on. He’s not coming back.”

  “You don’t know that.” He snapped at her, speaking a little too loudly. It not only made Kim jump, but the people dining at the other tables stared at him also. He looked at them apologetically before turning to Kim and continued in a subdued tone, “Rick is confused. He isn’t thinking straight. I just need to talk to him once and everything will be back to normal. You’ll see.”

  She smiled sadly. “But how do you plan on doing that? He isn’t even taking your calls. And you have no idea where he is.”

  “I’ll find him.” The stubbornness in his voice surprised him. As he replayed it in his mind, it appeared to be childish to him which was very unlike him. Humiliation got the best of him and he removed the napkin from his lap before he said, “You know what, I’m not hungry really. He removed his credit card and placed it on the table. Enjoy your food.”

  “Aidan…” Kim called behind him but he was out of the restaurant and on the street in no time. He fumed all the way back to their hotel and shut the door to his suite behind him with a thud. With thoughts of Rick burning in his head, he paced the huge executive suite.

  Kim’s words had hurt him immensely and it wasn’t because she’d said it. He knew she cared about his well-being and so did his family and friends who’d already said the same thing. But forgetting Rick wasn’t an easy task. He’d tried and failed miserably. Aidan missed him every minute and every second of the day.