Hidden Carmina

by Adri Sinclair

Defeated by the argument, Fayola admits that she, too, has been drawn in by the girl.

  “Even if she is half dead already.”

  Liam has been listening without a word but at the last words from Fayola he rumbles at her: “She’s half alive; you may have to consult your spirits on manners, too.”

  Jarrod puts both hands up to diffuse the change of mood.

  “Carmina is Carmina. If we could explain her we would but we could not even find her when she left us a clear path to follow. So, you figure it out and let us know when you do.”

  “Now you, I understand half-breed and I accept your challenge. The girl needs protection and we need answers. We’re linked with her now, our Houses stand united.”

  Liam speaks over his shoulder without looking around.

  “What about Jackie?”

  “What about her?” Joseph asks.

  “Does she stand united?”

  “Jackie will face her trial, Liam.” Joseph assures him with a firm pull of his lips.

  Fayola sees no further reason to be around anymore and announces that she’s going home. Before she leaves the room, she leans in to speak softly and privately to Liam, whispering in a tone and pitch designed for his hearing.

  “I will have your marrow myself, Will-i-am, if you lose this girl again.” The look on Liam’s face is unreadable to the others. When the Vulture walks out the door with a voluptuous swing in her hips, they understand the exchange without question.

  Will, Jarrod and Joseph follow shortly after Fayola. The convincing factor for Jarrod leaving was his wife, who may need him sooner than he expected. The baby is causing increasing trouble. Lilly is convinced that the child misses the Daddy and is misbehaving on account of neglect. Truth or not, Lilly is not having a good time for it. John however, was not going to be dragged off. He helps his brother by bringing food and hunting for the three of them. When Dimitri suggests they use modern supplements to replenish the blood, he was shown Carmina’s hunt. In awe, he had to concede that she would not be impressed if she’s pumped full of artificial stimulants.

  “Is there anything this woman cannot do?” He marvels at Liam.

  “She cannot love me.” Liam answers, bitterly.

  “Liam, I cannot count the times she spoke your name in her dreams. Maybe she cannot show you her love, but she loves you.”

  “Dimitri, will you show me? Will you? Show me her time with you; the time I have lost.” Dimitri feels both honored and reluctant. Liam is an Ancient, what an honor. But he does not want to share his Carmen, their Carmina, with anyone.

  “Why are you asking like I have a choice?”

  Liam looks at Carmina and then to Dimitri, lifting an eyebrow. “Because she would never take without asking.”

  Dimitri’s eyes grow wide, realizing what Liam just told him. He steps forward and allows every miniscule detail in his memory to be exposed. He doesn’t have a choice, but he was given a choice; he’s made it but the knowledge shared from Liam left him no alternative.

  Liam watches and feels in silence and when the memory catches up with the company of visitors at the arched doors; he puts his free hand out to Dimitri in the age-old human tradition of shaking it.

  “Thank you.”

  “She gives us humanity. That is why we respond to her like we do. We don’t want to, but that is the truth…” He shrugs and walks away.

  “Now that is an answer Fayola needed to hear!” John chimes in, leaving Liam snickering.

  Liam does not mention the change in color of the room yet.

  When there is a steady beat to Carmina’s heart and a healthier color to her skin, Dimitri offers his private jet to take them home. Esmeriska agrees that Carmina needs to wake up at home and have the support of the family around her. Liam was not keen on moving her, but the physicians assured him that there is no immediate danger. After the logistics of the move had been worked out, Carmina, Liam and John fly back to the Volcano Valley.

  John left Dimitri a gift in his museum. It is a full body replica of Carmina, lying in the trophy box. It is the image John learned is Dimitri’s favorite memory of Carmina. It is macabre and the look on her face is haunted. There was no end to Dimitri’s joy. He cannot believe the fortune she had brought to him and thus the inscription underneath the old one (which remained) reads:

  “Carmina, suffering life so we don’t have to.”

  Carmina knows she is home. Liam sees it in the colors she uses. She is not painting as fluently, but the colors are changing more regularly now with each person who enters the room.

  The light, gentle purple is reserved for Maria. Carmina seems to enjoy Maria’s visits, which are at least once a day.

  Maria has taken to sitting with Carmina, reading to her from the books or just telling her stories of growing up and learning. Maria’s gentle voice is the complete opposite to John’s. When he comes around, Liam smiles at the small lightning bolts that singularly and randomly appear in bright red. John’s energy seems to invigorate the painting but also tires her out sooner.

  Liam is worried about the amount of time Carmina is spending in the dream room. He is too afraid to bring her out of it and her body is too weak to cope. Esmeriska and Margarith tell him that he will know when she is ready. There will be no argument about it, as they are talking about their Carmina.

  Jarrod and Lilly’s visit seems to bring Carmina’s paintbrush to full strength, at least for a while. She knows about the baby, it is reflected in the little boxes she produces: one pink and one blue. Jarrod explains, “They are the gift boxes Carmina gave us for the babies.”

  Carmina also knows when Liam brings any of the visitors into the dream room with him. The colors of their eyes are predominant, like the first time when John noticed it. He shares short moments at a time but he keeps himself on the borders of her room. She does not acknowledge him at all.

  Carmina’s recovery is slow and, at times, taxing, but the biggest worry about Carmina’s recovery comes from Jackie. She has been waiting for several days now to get close to Carmina but the hawk eyes, or vultures as it were, are not leaving her alone for a moment. Just one moment alone is what she wants.

  ***

  I am in my room. I can smell Liam and Momma and John. Why is John in my room? John never gets past the fridge! Why can’t I move? Someone need to fix the racket my shower is making. It is too loud!

  I open my eyes and see John’s golden pair with dancing little devils.

  “Your fridge is empty?”

  “Uhm, what?” I hear Lilly ask. John is not looking away from me and I can’t seem to move my head or body to look at Lilly.

  “That was for Mina.” He says, waving at me with a silly grin. Has he lost his mind?

  Lilly’s squeal first shocks me, deafens me for a while, and then annoys me when she shoves her face directly in mine!

  “You’re awake!”

  “Shhhhhhhh,” My lips manage to cooperate. I blink against the light, which is seriously too bright. What the heck wattage did they put in my lamps?

  “Uh, Jarrod, I think the lights are too bright.” Liam is speaking in an even, low tone. After many arguments between my body and my brain, I manage to move my hand towards Lilly’s belly. Lilly holds back on the squeal but not on the excitement. She grabs my hand delicately and puts it on her belly.

  “Feel that little monster? That’s your Aunty and she’s got your number now!”

  I cringe when I hear the stampede rushing towards the cottage from outside. It is too fast to be animals; it must be more family. Everything in my brain is registering slowly while my senses seem to be hyper perceptive. I close my eyes, trying to categorize things that I can shut away, just like Jarrod had taught me on the hunts.

  “Oh, is she sleeping again?” Esmeriska whispers. I open my eyes in time to see Liam shaking his head with a little grin.

  “She’s processing.” He is still speaking in the even tone. I like that tone and appreciate that it is not as enthusiastic as my sister’s
.

  I look at the faces around my bed, count them and then the random thoughts tumble from my mouth without me having any control over it.

  “This human stuff is hard.”

  I feel my tongue stick in my mouth as the words are made. I feel my voice box croak and I wish someone would cover my ears when the room bursts out laughing. Someone does. It does not help any.

  “We’re too loud for her,” Liam speaks again, “Our Vixen is … super charged, as John puts it.”

  Near Death Recovery

  The days that follow are mixtures of asleep and awake. I feel like I am daydreaming at times. The pipes and things are starting to irritate my skin. I never could stand needles much. These ones stuck in me are now annoying me. Liam speaks to answer my thoughts and I think that is annoying me too, but he is helping so I don’t give him too much trouble over that.

  “Liam…”

  “I’m here…”

  “I want a bath,” I declare and start pulling things away from me. I forgot how fast he is.

  “Ok, ok, but be still. Let me take all this off. Stop, Mina. Let me do it, please. You are going to hurt yourself.”

  When he says that, I look around instinctively for Alina and Darya. Are they alright? I don’t remember a fight. What do I remember?

  “They’re back in Russia, Mina, with Dimitri.” Liam answers me. “They’re fine.”

  Liam had called on his Mother who brings Momma to help me into the bathroom. My legs are wobbly and my muscles are weak. I’m back to being clumsy me again and not liking it one bit. I hear Liam’s soft laughter and feel the blush on my face, knowing he’s heard that thought.

  “Slowly, dear girl, I promise we’re strong enough to hold you.” Momma speaks to me with her maternal tone.

  I don’t like the brooding pair hovering over me but I feel stronger for the bath. I refuse the scents and oils. Living with Dimitri has changed me. I love the smell, just not on me. If they can’t cope with what I smell like, they can leave my home, all of them - except Liam. And John. And … I realized how bratty my thoughts are and I join in with Liam’s chuckles drifting towards me. When I get back to my room, Liam has changed the covers of my bed and lit a warm fire in the front room. Momma and Lady E leave after making me a smoothie cocktail of epic proportions.

  “Liam…”

  “Hmmmm,”

  “Tell me your story, please.”

  The pained look crossing his face does not deter me. The new bedding is cold and fresh and Liam produces three warm water bottles. The reason I don’t curl myself around it is because my body is not responding how it should yet.

  “Liammmm…” I egg him on softly.

  “Fine. Fine…” I can see on his face he is censoring already.

  “Everything.” I insist.

  “Right… everything.”

  Liam rakes his hand through his hair before speaking in a soft, monotonous tone.

  “My birth mother was an aristocrat. She was 17 when she ran away from home with the local Romany Gypsies. They accepted her with them merely because she paid in cash. Of course, she was well disguised and you would not have known her status if you were to come upon the caravan on the road… Which a troop of soldiers did. My mother was brutally raped and … I was conceived. It was a shameful state for her, even if the gypsies did not hold the same regards for her, as she was a noble. Their own culture placing high value on virginity in woman before marriage did not apply to my mother. She was with them, not one of them.

  “At the next village, my mother chose to stay behind. Esmeriska and Will resided in that village and did their best to help my mother. It wasn’t long before my mother withdrew into her own head and practically became a zombie. Being the good catholic girl she was, the shame broke her mind, her spirit and her will to live. She could not kill me so she waited until I was born and then took her own life with poison. Esmeriska and Will kept me to themselves, raising me as their own then already. They had a good standing in the village, therefore I had a decent life, considering the times.” Liam pauses for a moment, looking at me. His eyes are hard around the corners.

  “Everything?” he asks. I nod.

  “Right… well, I have built up a resentment towards soldiers. They were constantly plaguing every village around us. I was 26 years old when I lost my living life to a raid. I didn’t want to hide like a coward anymore and decided to bring a knife to a gunfight. Literally. Will and Esmeriska were not ready to be without me and offered me their special brand of life. At the time, all I wanted to know was “Would I be alive?” I accepted the offer and …”

  He opens his hands.

  “Here I am. But I wasn’t content with just being alive. I decided I would get revenge: for my mother, for the villagers, for humanity. I joined the soldier forces and started killing them one at a time. I became consumed with revenge, and thoroughly enjoyed killing them. The blood was just a bonus. This went on for about… two years… I met a young soldier who was aloof and sneakier than any human I have ever met. When I realized he was heading towards my mother and father’s village, I followed him with the full intent of killing him. When I reached the village, I watched in awe how he aided the humans. He showed me a different way to get at the soldiers. He warned the humans of the upcoming raids and helped them evacuate. He was full of mischief and life, even in those circumstances. He stole food and clothing for the village children and helped them scout out a good place to hide until the raid was over. When the fight came, I turned on the soldiers openly, fighting them off as best I could. Unfortunately I could not help John … My mother and father did, though, and we worked together from that time on. John … has not changed much. We took on our father’s names. By John’s suggestion, we pulled straws. I ended with William and him with Johnathan. Liam and John.”

  My mouth falls open. No wonder this family is as close as they are. They are a pack thrown together by fate but also chose one another.

  “Would you do it all again?”

  “Yes, I have no regrets.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Hmmm, I have a question for you,” He does not wait for me to agree. “Why Russia?”

  “I had no idea I was going there. When I studied the map, it described Dimitri’s trade and forte. It was the single way I could…live by my own rules,” I answer honestly.

  Liam looks at me with wonder, kisses my hand and put my diary next to me.

  “I answered all your letters to me in there.” He shoves his hand through his hair again and rests it on the nape of his neck, walking out the door in that fashion.

  I open my diary and underneath each entry is Liam’s precise handwriting: “I love you. Rescued and waiting to be saved. Liam”

  A few answers to questions that weren’t asked appear to me. I feel irritated at how naïve I am.

  I turn on my side, away from the door, hugging my diary. I feel the gentle nudge and accept John into my internal conference room.

  “Hey Vixen,”

  “Hey John.”

  “I’m just checking to see if you still know how this stuff works.” He teases me and I giggle.

  “Clearly. Now go away, I’m tired.”

  “You sure you don’t just want to hang out … I can be very quiet…” I withdraw from the connection in good humor, giving John his answer.

  ***

  Liam feels unbalanced after telling Carmina his history. He was brutally honest when he said he didn’t regret killing the human soldiers and wishes she would have some sort of reaction towards it. He also feels wholly fearful of her attitude towards her own life. It is like she neglects her own state of being human. If this is what she does to live by her own rules, he dreads to think how far she would go if she was made to accept someone else’s.

  “Bro, heads up... Jackie is skulking,” John breaks through and Liam rushes to Carmina’s room. Carmina is lying with her back to the door, and Liam watches Jackie circling past the bedroom window. He sits down at the end of the bed,
resting a cool hand on Carmina’s leg.

  Jackie is hoping to find an opportunity to get past the wolves. They are guarding the cottage around the clock and it is frustrating. She has no idea what she wants from Carmina but she wants to see her. She want to look into her face, see her weak and fragile. Perhaps that is it. Whatever it is, Jackie is getting more determined.

  ***

  Confrontations

  I am feeling a lot better today. I need to move around. My energy is up and my body is starting to behave how it should. The hunger is getting the better of me again and I am fed up with the smoothie diet. When I get up, Liam is at my side.

  “I’m good for this, Liam. Would you get me something proper to eat please?” I head to the bathroom and draw a full steamy bath. My mind drifts back to Alina and Darya and a strange wave of sadness washes over me. They have been ever present for all this time, and I have grown to know their individual body languages. I miss them.

  I brought with me an oversized warm jumper to wear and a woolly pair of socks. I can also smell the food, the fire in the adjacent room and Liam… I close my eyes and inhale. My heart gallops and Liam is knocking at the door half a second later.

  “Are you alright?” He asks, concerned. He must have heard the change in pace. I flush and clear my throat before I speak.

  I open the door to confirm, “Yes, yes I’m fi—Good.”

  “Oh… I made something,” Liam looks awkward and sheepish.

  When I walk into the kitchen, I burst out laughing. Liam did not make ‘something’. He just about made ‘everything’.

  “I didn’t know what you might want…” The uncomfortable look on his face sends my heart fluttering again, covering it under the pretense of humor.