Hidden Carmina

by Adri Sinclair

  I narrow my eyes at my mother. It is clear there is something else she’s not telling me.

  “And?”

  “And with what your Uncle has done, he is no longer the leader of the Earth Valley clan. That will be Lilly and Jarrod’s job.”

  I gawk at my mother, who leans over and closes my mouth.

  “Now eat. Or I’ll feed you like I used to… you know I can.”

  I blush furiously. Liam cocks his head to the side and my mother’s eyes sparkle.

  “When she was little…” She tells Liam

  “Momma! No!”

  Momma ignores me and continues telling the story.

  “She would get into a strop about the food. It was around the time when I had to disguise natural food with liver. So, whenever she refused to eat, I would—” Momma leans, wriggling her index finger at me. I scoot away from her, ache or no ache “—works every time. Eat.” Momma points with that same finger at the plate in front of me.

  Worried that she may break out a demonstration, I grab a piece of cheese and stick it in my mouth. Liam is falling over with enjoyment and I swear the foundation is shaking.

  “Really, Momma!”

  “Really, my darling child. If I didn’t embarrass you at least once in your lifetime in front of your guy, I’m not doing my job right.” She winks at the man shaking on the floor.

  After breakfast, I have another long, relaxing bath. I mull over what Momma told us. I feel numb about the previous day’s events and will deal with the backlash of that if and when it happens. I am excited to know that Lilly and Jarrod will be back, and we get to meet little J.J. I think John will be happy too. I know he’s missed Jarrod a lot.

  Liam is sitting back in the window watching the rainfall and I join him. Smiling, he wraps his arms around me.

  “Can’t believe it is over a year ago, I was sat in that tree over there,” he points, “Watching you from a distance…”

  I turn to him in surprise. “That’s why I never heard you! I didn’t think to look up!”

  “Yip.”

  “You watched me?”

  “Every night. And um, one more confession, but you’re not allowed to get angry at me… promise?”

  “I can’t promise that.”

  “Then I can’t tell you.” He says and holds me closer.

  “Liam! Ok, ok, I promise.”

  “I used Jarrod’s soap to mask my scent so that I can watch over you while you sleep, here in the cottage.” He sounds guilty at the memory.

  “You what?!” I turn around to see if he’s joking but it is clear he’s not.

  “I missed you so much, Carmina, and when you slept… As horrible as your dreams were, I could share in them. Be close to you. Like I did the first month after we met.”

  “Momma sort of told me about that. She said you slept at the window for a month!”

  “I did. You didn’t remember me and I couldn’t forget you.”

  “Liam… I’m so sorry, it must have been so hard for you.”

  He kisses my cheek, breathing in gently. “I was close to you, which was all that mattered.”

  I turn all the way around, sitting on my knees; I hug Liam hard against me.

  “Hmmmm,” he murmurs against my neck. “Steady on now…” I don’t let him go, and I share with him every grain of emotion that fills me in that very moment. I feel terrible for causing him so much pain and hurt, and yet – I feel proud and loved and wanted by a man who could literally pick and choose.

  “Liam, I’m so sorry. I forget sometimes how hard it is for you to be with me. I take it for granted. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t do that, my Rockflower. Don’t apologize. Just don’t leave me again.”

  I make a promise to Liam that I intend to keep, no matter what.

  “I promise…”

  The kiss that follows is filled with tender passion, sweet promises and gentle caution.

  We spend the rest of the day lounging and reading. For a short while, I convince myself the monstrous world I live in does not exist and in this cottage is my fairytale. I am no longer the ugly duckling. I am loved by a man who is perfect in every way and to call him a prince would be an insult; he is so much more!

  Liam smiles perceptively at the thought and brushes a stray hair from my face, holding my head against his shoulder.

  Things to Be

  Tomorrow is spring day, my birthday. I am cautiously optimistic. Jarrod, Lilly and J.J. will arrive just before lunch tomorrow and, if I was unsure about John’s excitement, it becomes obvious when he pokes his head through the kitchen door.

  “Morning, John.”

  “Hey, Vixen. Listen, I um, did something for the baby… you mind having a look?”

  Clutching my cup of tea, I motion John out of the door. He strolls with his arm around my waist towards Lilly and Jarrod’s home. John opens the door and the first thing I notice is the smell of paint.

  “You’re going to have to open up John, the smell is… strong.”

  “Yeah, I think I grew so used to it…”

  When John opens the door to the baby room, I come close to dropping my cup. The little boys’ room is transformed into a pirate toy store. There is every imaginable gift. The walls are painted in a Pirate cabin style with wooden slates, a pirate bed and a big pirate treasure trunk piled with more toys. The shelves are like a pirate bookshelf with heavy wood and books from top to bottom, draped with rope netting.

  “I … didn’t know what to get, so um… I got everything.” John shuffles sheepishly next to me.

  “John! This is incredible! A bit much… but, my goodness, it is wonderful!”

  “Well, he is going to grow, isn’t he?” John defends his actions.

  “And then he’s going to want more stuff – but if he has everything… then well… um. I just couldn’t choose.”

  I laugh at the unusual awkwardness. I’ve never seen him like this before. He is nervously excited and genuinely worried that the baby, a few months old, won’t like it.

  “John… what a generous gift. I am sure J.J. will love it… All the more if the two J’s he’s named after share in this with him.”

  John’s face lights up and he grins. “I am hoping so! I didn’t ask Jarrod and Lilly but…”

  “I can hear Lilly’s squeal already. She is going to hug you silly!” I laugh.

  I take John’s hand and drag him out of the room.

  “It is perfect.” I whisper to him.

  “Yeah, I also stocked their fridge and…well, come, there’s more…”

  When John drags me to the living room, it is filled with the most beautiful flowers. Lilly’s favorites – baby’s breath and pink carnations – are arranged all over the place and a wood carving with the Moretti emblem is on the face of a low coffee table. The room is re-painted in warm colors and the furniture replaced with sturdy, heavy, cleanable material. The lights in the ceiling look like tea-candles and highlight each vase with flowers. It is truly a fairytale room.

  “Raina helped with this.” He confesses, still worried. “She says it is spring after all.”

  “Oh, now I’m sure you are going to need earplugs! John, this is amazing!”

  “I missed them, Carmina, so much…” His face is solemn and serious, moving me to hug him to me.

  “I know, you big lump. They are here tomorrow… This is beautiful!”

  “There’s one more thing…”

  When John opens the back garden, it has been transformed to a family outdoor dining area with an adjacent play area.

  “They can watch him, or them, play… Children need outside too.” He says with conviction. I tilt my head to John and smile.

  “They do.”

  “Do you think they will stay here or at your Uncle’s old home?”

  “If I know Lilly and Jarrod, they’ll stay here. But they have responsibilities, who knows how Lilly will organize herself around it.”

  With that, we go back to my cottage, John looking margina
lly relieved about my reaction.

  “John… we love you so much. J.J. is going to love you so much. Raina already thinks you’re a god… Thank you, mutt, for everything you do for us.”

  John abruptly bundles me into his arms and whispers, “Thank you Vixen, you don’t know how much that means to me.”

  “I think I do…” I let him know and hug him hard.

  John lets me go as quickly as he gathered me to him and mutters: “You need to get out of your PJs, woman; I can’t believe how high the sun is and you’re not even dressed properly! What would the neighbors say?”

  “Why you little—”

  But John is already setting off in the opposite direction. As I approach the cottage, I see Liam returning from his run and skip along.

  The rest of the day passes lazily and peaceful. Momma won’t hear of me helping with the preparations for tomorrow. “Who’s heard of working on your own birthday celebration? Go read something.”

  When the sun is almost setting, I hear Raina’s fast little steps approach. Like John, she’s taken to using the kitchen door and, also like John, the fridge is scarcely passed by. I stand inside, waiting for her.

  “Hey Raina,” I greet when she looks through the door.

  “OH! Hi Carmina!” She answers too quickly. I narrow my eyes.

  “Come to find my fridge? You’d swear Momma is not feeding her clan!”

  Raina blushes and sits down at the table. “No, I came to see you. Well, I was hoping to sneak past you - you’re good!”

  I lift an eyebrow and take a plate with snack food out. I’m hungry again anyway, so it won’t go to waste. Putting the plate in front of Raina, she grabs my hand and instructs me: “Open your hand, and close your eyes.”

  I do as I’m told but peek through one eye.

  “No! No cheating, Carmina! Uncle Liam!” she calls for re-enforcement. I smile at the way she’s calling Liam and John ‘Uncle’, like she’s claimed them and, despite their protests, she’s not letting go.

  “Raina! Good to see you.”

  “Yeah, hi. Cover her eyes, she’s a cheater,” Raina commands the Ancient; the same Ancient she was petrified off not so long ago. Liam obliges proudly before I can protest.

  “Glad to be of service, little lady.”

  I feel the happiness swirling around the room between the two with me and it makes me proud. Fast and light, eight items are placed on my palm.

  “There. Now she can look. Thank you Uncle. This Vixen is a handful!” She mimics John and I hear Liam chuckling.

  When I open my eyes, I stare at my hand; eight perfectly shaped crystal teardrops, each one with an initial in silver floating inside. R, J, L, M, J and J.J. Another has a copper R, different from the others and one L in gold.

  “Everyone who would love to catch your tears so they don’t have to spill - family! I made you this to remind you we love you and we feel with you. See… Look.”

  Raina’s eager hands turn them around one by one as she tell me who the teardrop belongs to. “There is one for me - for Raina, one for Uncle John, and one for Momma Margarith, one for Lilly, one for Jarrod, one for baby J.J. and one for Roland’s spirit – and Uncle Liam’s in gold because he catches your special tears.” She explains excitedly.

  Liam winks at Raina, pulling my hand closer to look at the charms. I am still stunned. When Liam moves my hand, the light catches the items in my palm, tossing sparkling beams against the walls in the kitchen.

  “Now, isn’t that coincidental?” He grins. “I have a charm bracelet here in my pocket that would fit those perfectly!”

  I cannot speak at all. Liam’s hand hardly moves and the charms are added to the bracelet and clasped around my wrist.

  “It … is just…” I can’t speak and try hard not to cry.

  “Happy birthday for tomorrow – and really, Carmina. You’re getting old.” Raina says. Grabbing a hand full of snack food - “For Uncle John,” - she darts out the door. Liam bursts out laughing.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it so much! I’m a big cry-baby, aint I?”

  “No - according to Raina, you’re just old! Why would she say such a thing?!”

  “Oh… the Romany reckons if you’re past your teens, you’re on the shelf. Marriage is more difficult and children are just about out of the question too. She’s not adapted that view yet…” I blush.

  “Hmmm, so… you’re getting old, huh?” This amuses Liam and I punch him in the shoulder, achieving nothing but a mild ache in my hand.

  “Thank you Liam… for this,” I hold my arm up and let the shiny teardrops dangle.

  “Thank you for being a cry-baby, my Rockflower… your tears is what keeps us immortals… human.”

  I have nothing more to say so I lift my mouth to Liam’s for a kiss, to which he happily obliges.

  When I wake up, Liam springs out of bed like a broken coil-spring.

  “Stay,” he chirps at me and I stretch lazily. I hear him in the kitchen and shake my head. Liam gets back to me with a tray, upon which is a flower and breakfast. There is a card in his hand and he looks nervous when he hands it over.

  When I open the card, it reads: “Will you be my valentine?”

  Confused, I look at Liam.

  “With everything going on, we’ve missed it twice already. I’ve not forgotten. I think your birthday and Valentine’s Day can be one day – that way we will always have time to celebrate it.” He produces another gift from under the bed.

  “Liam! This is so unfair! I... I have nothing to give you for our Valentine’s.”

  Liam grins impishly and rubs over his hair. “You do, you just don’t know it yet.” He motions to the box. “Open it. I love seeing your face when you see things for the first time.”

  I place the food next to me, drinking the juice first to empty the glass. I have learned early in my life that if it can spill, I’ll wear it sooner than not.

  When I open the box and lift the soft tissue paper away, I am instantly possessed by Lilly. The dress I lift from the box is sensational; soft light silks in beautiful green layered up in a ballerina style. Built into the dress is a blood red corset with embroidered green leaves and vines, added to it one small broach-like yellow and gold sunflower.

  “Liam! This… is too much!”

  “I have missed many years… indulge me, my Rockflower… just for today?” When Liam turns on the charm and makes those sweet, sensual tones flow through his voice, there is just no way for me to resist.

  “Just… for today.” I agree.

  “Good.” His mood turns all ‘normal’ gain.

  “Your shoes.” He hands me another box and inside is the daintiest pair of ballerina shoes.

  “Oh, Liam!”

  “I heard a stray thought about an ugly duckling once. Your fairy godmother stepped in and helped me pick that. You can thank my mother later.” Liam grins triumphantly.

  “My turn.” He leaves fast.

  I barely manage to contain my excitement. Spring is in the air. Love and blossoms and beauty and family and … I firmly put the horrors out of my head and choose to enjoy the day. When Liam returns, I have to contain myself. Liam’s green shirt matches the color of my dress and the sleeves on his pants are rolled up to his calves. On the pocket of his shirt is matching sunflower embroidery. The string-collared shirt fits him perfectly, accentuating his shoulders, chest and arms. I swallow hard and let the butterflies loose in my belly, while my heart beats a tribal dance through my chest. I feel like a princess and the gods sent their handpicked prince, just for me. And he is absolutely…

  Liam’s fingers snap in front of my face and he is super pleased with the results. He holds his arm out to me and we walk together to the breakfast hall.

  “Oh,” I whisper to him, “Yes. I will be your valentine.”

  “Hmmmm, one down, one to go.” He muses and a secretive light flickers through his eyes.

  When we get to the courtyard, I stop to take it all in. Momma h
as outdone herself. There are flowers everywhere. The stalls are made up of old medieval style kiosks with drapes of soft silken materials. The food smells are drifting up all around and in the center of it all, a small podium is made up with white satin and red roses. The ground is covered in stepping-stones making pathways all around. In the trees are lanterns, already lit, with small, shiny lights netted over each tree, covering them. I have no idea how she did that! It is beautiful!

  Raina runs up to me with Momma shortly behind her, arm in arm with Lady E.

  “You two look like the fairy king and queen!” Raina shouts and I blush.

  Liam clears his throat. “Then let the King bestow a wish upon his favorite elf. What will you wish for?”

  Raina claps excitedly and, suddenly, she grabs Liam’s hand, pulling him down and whispers in his ear. The look on Liam’s face was a mixture of serious frowning and amused anticipation. He nods a few times and then stands up, pulling his shirt straight.

  “Well, I think your wish is my command little lady.” He clears his throat and calls out over the courtyard in a loud, thundering roll.

  “Hear Ye! Hear YE! Come one, come all! Bring your children, bring your family!” Liam looks down at Raina who nods in approval and waves her hand for him to get on with it. He clears his throat again, having attracted all the attention in the courtyard.

  “Raina, the...Fairy King’s favorite elf, hereby requests official acceptance into the Fire Valley clan… If you agree to this wish, say AYE!”

  I watch astonished as Momma puts her hand in front of her mouth and Lady E leans into my mother’s shoulder. Didn’t see this coming by a mile but what a great thing!

  As one, the courtyard all shouts “AYE!” and John rushes to pick Raina up onto his shoulder.

  “Then, by the power invested in me, I beseech the Mother Queen!” Liam turns to Momma who’s crying with joy.

  “Of course! Of course, Raina, of course!”