A Heart Not Easily Broken (The Butterfly Memoirs)

by M. J. Kane

  “Yes, well, others may not see it that way. I need you to return them tomorrow. The notes too, all of them. I trust you won’t forget.” Finished, he walked back into the building. I could have sworn there was a satisfied gleam in his eye and pep in his step.

  Why the hell couldn’t he understand none of his games were necessary? I could care less who Dr. Jacobs screwed. Two months had gone by, and I hadn’t said a word. If holding his infidelity over his head was my goal, it would have been done months ago.

  Fine. He could have his damn books back. And every last note card. They were outdated by twenty years anyway. What good could they do me? Outdated chemistry charts and facts would not compete with the modern day methods of animal husbandry.

  But deep down, it felt like I was the one getting screwed. And it wasn’t in a good way.

  ***

  Several hours later, I lay on my bed, massaging my temples while nursing a headache. I was too broke to afford a coke and a smile. My laptop lay beside me and the job ads were open on the screen. There were plenty of jobs that would provide the amount of money needed to stay afloat. The only problem is none of them were animal hospitals. Working at the gas station would not earn me the hours needed to secure the full-time zoo position.

  Seven years suddenly felt like a total waste. I had enough money to manage my expenses for at least two months without having a second job. After that…

  I didn’t want to think that far ahead for fear my brain matter would melt down to mere sludge.

  Two months. That meant if I didn’t find another job soon, by the time Brian came back, I would be getting ready to quit school. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful welcome home present?

  Brian would get off the tour bus, ready to welcome me in his arms. He would still be handsome but his clothes would smell like beer, smoke, and God knows what else happened on the bus. Wait a minute; he’d better not get off the bus smelling like another woman…

  I sighed.

  If there was one thing I learned during our time together it was this: Brian was a man of his word. If he promised monogamy, he’d do it. If he wanted more or someone else, he wouldn’t waste either of our time. He’d come right out and say it.

  Did I think he’d cheat on me while he was away? He was a man, and all men have needs. Somehow, deep in my heart, I didn’t think he would. What else could I do but trust? If I wasted time suspecting or questioning him, the only thing I’d do was push him down that path. If he did stray, then somehow the truth would come out. It always did.

  Damn, one week until he left for three months. At least he wouldn’t be around to watch me go into scramble mode. It would not be pretty. What he didn’t know wouldn’t affect his ability to play. The last thing I wanted to be was a distraction in any way.

  I supported his decision to go on the road, knowing how much it would boost his career. Now, I needed to focus on mine.

  My headache subsided enough to sit up and turn on the light in my darkened room. It was nearly dusk, and Brian hadn’t texted me yet. Another sign of a long day for him. Maybe if I focused on pleasing him for the next week, it would take away some of my own stress and help me see things from a different prospective. Then I may be able to navigate my way through this financial mess.

  I forced myself off the bed and walked to the closet. Brian would be leaving on Sunday morning. His band planned a big farewell party at the club where they performed Saturday night. Brian was ecstatic when he showed me one of the flyers. The turnout promised to be bigger than any of their regular shows. They had a large following. The band had already found a replacement bass player, someone Brian recommended. On his last night at the club, he would play a few songs for old time’s sake before officially handing over his spot on stage to the new guy.

  After that, the rest of the night belonged to us.

  My original plan had been to buy a slinky dress that would keep his eyes on me all night long. His eyes never wandered when we were together, but still.

  That was before I lost my part-time job. Now…

  I pushed through the clothes hangers until I reached the last one hiding in the back. What do you know? The infamous dress I swore never to wear again.

  The little black number that started it all.

  Wearing it again would be…perfect.

  Chapter 20

  Time had run out.

  I glanced at my watch. Ebony would be ready for me to pick her up in a few hours. A quick shower, shave, grab a bite to eat, and be on my way. Oh yeah, make sure the room was straight since this was where we’d spend the night.

  I really wanted to get a hotel room, but she insisted it would be a waste of money. Her logic made sense. My intention was to leave with a memory of a night neither of us would forget. But it didn’t matter where we were. Just being together would be enough.

  My clothes landed in a heap on top of my laundry basket. I grabbed my outfit for the evening and lay it on the bed. Black slacks, a black dress shirt, complimented by a blue and black tie. I would even wear my black dress shoes for the occasion. A glint of silver tinsel resting on my nightstand grabbed my attention. Ebony’s gift. She was going to love it. I debated all day about surprising her when picking her up, but decided tonight, when we were alone, would be the perfect time.

  While in the shower, I reviewed the list of things handled in preparation for my departure.

  Dylan and Peter had been working for me for months. They knew my customers, but didn’t know the amount of work it took to run the business. I decided to entrust Peter with the finer details and the computer software used to track the finances. After two weeks, they were prepared. Since neither of them owned a vehicle capable of carrying the tools required for the job, I left my truck and the equipment in it in their care. Even though it cost money, I added them to my automobile and business insurance for the next few months. I had confidence in their ability to take care of the business. But hey, shit happened.

  Upon signing with the label for the duration of the tour, I received a check. I hadn’t seen that many zeros on a piece of paper with my name on it. Ever. After paying on some bills like my student loan I paid my half of the rent and utilities for the duration of my time away. My one splurge was buying the guitar I really wanted, a sweet Fender Rodger Water’s Precision Electric Bass Guitar. The original price had been a breathtaking twelve hundred dollars, but I found it on sale for eight hundred, brand spanking new.

  The rest went into my savings account where I’d been squirreling away money, bit-by-bit. As much as it took a load off of my pocket having Javan for a roommate, it was time to get my own place. I had a future to plan.

  A dog…a wife…kids.

  I wanted Ebony to be my wife. If we could make it through the next couple of months apart, we could make it when I got back. Before I asked her to marry me, I needed something to offer her. Buying a house would be one of the first things I researched upon my return.

  But, first things first.

  I stared into the bathroom mirror and adjusted my tie. Damn, I looked good. I smirked and added a few shots of the cologne Ebony loved.

  A knock on the doorjamb startled me. I peered over my shoulder and saw Javan’s hulking frame.

  “Looking good, man. It’s about time you picked up my sense of style. It’s a shame it took hooking up with a sista’ to do it,” he ribbed.

  “Hey, I know how to dress. I just don’t need to strut around like a peacock.”

  “Oh, you’ve got jokes.”

  I grinned and turned out the light. Javan moved out of the way and followed me down the hall.

  “You all packed?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “You leave on Sunday, right?”

  “Yep.” I palmed my keys and stopped in the kitchen for a bottle of water.

  Javan shook his head.

  “What?” I gulped the ice cold liquid.

  “All those women…man, it’ll be ‘ho central. I’m jealous.”

  I
lifted an eyebrow and laughed. “I’m working, J. Besides, I don’t have time for anyone else. I’ve found the woman I want.”

  “Ebony?” He chuckled. “You sure about that? You know what they say, when the cat’s away, the mice play and all that shit.”

  “Nah, I’m not worried. She’s waiting for me, and I’m saving it all for her.” I disposed of the empty bottle.

  Javan eyed me for a moment. “A woman like her, wait? Yeah, right. I tell you what; I’ll keep an eye on her while you’re gone. Believe me; she’ll be well taken care of.”

  Every muscle in my body went on alert. I turned slowly and faced him. “What did you just say?”

  “I said, don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye out, you know, in case Ebony needs anything. Damn, man, what did you think I meant?”

  I studied Javan’s eyes for any reason why I should not trust him. Yeah, he’d made hints of wanting to get with Ebony, but he’d backed off when he learned we were a couple. In fact, we’d double dated with him and Yasmine several times. Ebony didn’t let on he still bothered her.

  I couldn’t find a hint of deception. It was probably my possessiveness, making a simple comment into something more. “Guess I misunderstood you.”

  “You got that right. I’ll be gone tonight so you love birds can swing from the rafters if you need to.” He grinned.

  That solidified it. I needed my own place, even if it was an apartment.

  “Thanks.” I glanced at my watch. “Gotta go.” I shook his hand and left.

  My foot was a lead weight on the way to Ebony’s place.

  By the time I rang her doorbell, the anticipation of seeing her again had driven me crazy. The front porch light came on, door opened, and my love stood illuminated by the light.

  My heart stopped beating, my mouth went dry, and my body went into full attention. How was it possible after I’d seen, touched, kissed, and lusted over every glorious part of her naked body, did it feel like seeing her for the first time?

  Her auburn hair sat high off her shoulders and hung in springy spirals, which framed her lovely face. She wore the same black strapless number she’d worn the night we met, leaving my eyes free range to travel across her delicious throat, to the necklace that was a constant decoration, and over ample cleavage.

  I loved the way the black liquid fabric hugged every inch of her body. It felt like I had x-ray vision and could see through the silky material. I would never be able to forget the image of her chocolate nipples, and her taste forever imprinted on my tongue.

  I allowed my eyes to wander farther down, past the midpoint of her thigh where the dress ended. Black strings wrapped around sexy calf muscles and down to her barely-there heels.

  “Tonight, I only want you wearing the necklace and nothing else.” I let my eyes roam over her body again. “Well, you can keep on the heels.”

  Her naughty laugh made me grip the doorframe to keep from carrying her up to her bedroom and making it happen now.

  ***

  At the club, we were in the center of VIP. The guys toasted my success and promised tonight’s performance would be memorable. Ebony stood in front of the crowd and danced for me as I played. It was like déjà vu except this time the sexy woman on the dance floor was going home with me.

  Finally, we were back at my place. True to his word, Javan had left the house to us.

  In my room, I turned on music to set the mood. Not like either of us needed it. Tonight, I was letting her take the lead. She was the director of the beautiful music our bodies would make. I was the instrument waiting to be taken into her arms and played.

  “It appears you have everything packed,” she commented, studying the bags resting in the corner.

  “I’m ready. Though honestly, the most important thing is my guitar, it’s the money maker.”

  She faced me, her leg set at an angle making her luscious hip pop. “I would have thought your hands were the money maker.”

  I chuckled. “Put the two together…”

  She pursued her lips. “True. I can think of other places where your hands are much appreciated.”

  “Really?” I angled my head and watched her.

  An inviting smile shaped her lips as she walked slowly toward my large suitcase and slid the zipper open. “Would you like me to show you?”

  “I can figure it out.”

  Her seductive laugh shot straight to my groin.

  She pulled the lid open and peered inside. “Looks like you’re missing something.”

  Before I could ask her what it was, she made a move that left me speechless.

  With slow mesmerizing movements, Ebony lifted the hem of her dress, revealing a sexy pair of underwear. Red lace sat between her shapely thighs with edges as thin as a shoestring. Then, her fingers slid smoothly over the material, gripped the edges, and pulled them down. I followed their journey, memorizing every seductive movement. When it reached her ankles, she steadied herself on the edge of the suitcase and kicked them over her heels. The thong disappeared in a compartment of my bag. Once it was zipped, she shimmied her hips, smoothing the dress back in place.

  “That’s so you don’t forget about me.”

  “Oh, baby, there’s no way I’m going to forget about you.”

  She smiled and walked toward me, her hips swaying to the rhythm of the music. I loved watching her walk.

  When she reached me, she put her hand on my chest and nudged me until I started walking backward. We stopped when my back hit the door.

  She bit her lip and began unfastening my belt.

  Oh yeah. Time to play.

  I unfastened my tie and the buttons of my shirt. After the third button, I pulled the thing over my head. It and the tie landed somewhere on the floor. Her mission accomplished, Ebony sunk down on the floor, taking my pants and briefs with her. Oh yeah.

  She started at my navel and worked her way down, running her nails along my thighs. I ran my hand over her hair, and removed the pins. The curls fell lazily around her face, not that I could see it because she was busy working my anatomy like a pro.

  “Damn, you’re good,” I gritted my teeth and lay my head back against the wall.

  My breath caught and my body quivered. I fought to focus on something to keep from losing it too soon, yet enjoy the pleasure she gave me. Multiplication tables, the theme song to Sesame Street…grandma wearing a bathing suit.

  Soft caresses with her hands and mouth alternated with the strokes of a master. She was good at seduction. If it weren’t for the support of the door behind me, I would have been down on my knees.

  The list of things I would miss grew exponentially. Every last one of them had to do with Ebony. All of them weren’t about sex, but this was somewhere near the top.

  All too soon, she rose to her feet, her lips trailing my abs with her hands in the lead. The moment she reached my neck, I placed my hands in her soft hair and kissed the hell out her.

  Her moan went down my throat and into me.

  “Turn around,” I commanded.

  She did, and I reached around her and guided my head to the side of her neck. I nipped and teased her while pulling the silky skintight fabric of her dress down, freeing her breasts. It took seconds to unhook the strapless bra and drop it on the floor. Her breasts free, I palmed the voluptuous weights in my hands, running fingers over firm nipples. She arched, pushing them against my fingers.

  She moaned her pleasure when my fingers left the first stop of the night and ended at the hem of her dress. Sliding it up, I revealed her perfectly round ass already free of its constraints. I gripped her hips, pulled her against me, and teased.

  “Oh yes…” she moaned.

  I loved the sexy sound of that word as it rolled off of her tongue.

  “Do you like the way this feels?” I whispered in her ear.

  “Yes…” she purred, her body moving in time with mine, forming a rhythm of our own.

  She angled her head for a kiss, our tongues mating…tasting…taunting. />
  I slipped my hand to the place I called home. Ebony shuddered in my hand, ripe and ready.

  Without pulling away, I walked her toward the bed. When we reached it, she bent forward and assumed the position.

  And then I saw it.

  A blue winged butterfly sat on her perfect hip.

  I ran my finger over the tattoo lightly. We hadn’t been together in one, long, agonizing week. The new mark had nearly healed.

  “I got it last week. Do you like it?”

  Did I like it? Was she kidding? It was seductive as hell. I leaned over and ran my lips over it.

  “It’s perfect,” I murmured and continued the journey over to her spine and up her back. We’d discuss the beauty of it later. Right now, I was on a mission.

  Her hips swayed, her body called my name. I answered without hesitation and gave her what we both wanted. In one fluid push we were one. Her body rocked against me, while I gripped her hips and slid deep inside over and over again.

  Forget her? That was impossible. I’d never forget the woman who not only rocked my world; she was my world, my rock, my inspiration, my heart.

  My one and only Eve.

  Tonight, I was determined that she not only hear how much I loved her, she would feel it, too.

  All.

  Night.

  Long.

  I didn’t need to sleep; I could do that on the bus.

  It didn’t take long for her body to spasm as she cried out my name. Damn, I was going to miss that. I needed to hear it again, so I pulled out, turned her around, and lay her down. I continued to give her what she wanted, and take what I needed. I memorized every moan, every gasp, and every sound our bodies made as we slapped against each other, storing it for the long, lonely nights ahead.

  When she came again, her body pulled me along for the erotic ride. When it was over, I panted, riding the euphoric wave.

  Yeah, no way in hell I’d ever be with another woman.

  Ebony lay spent. Exhausted, I lay down beside her. We faced each other. She had no idea how desirable she was after sex. The way her eyelids hung low from gratification, her parted lips as she panted, her once well-put together hairdo mangled beyond recognition. I wanted to be inside of her again. Now.