Fairy Circle

by Johanna Frappier

  “We must continue what we have started or, simply put, my blood will attack you.” He sniffed again, “it will probably eradicate you.” He raised his eyebrows and shrugged as if to say, Oh, well. In fact, he said nothing and watched to see how this little bit of terror would affect her. He was being fair; he had warned her. He was going to have a lot of dancing to do after this fiasco to get her to marry him. Just the thought of it was exhausting.

  Saffron gave him nothing. Her face was screwed up in shifting grimaces of pain, but she just stared at him. She had nothing more to say.

  This was crap. He wanted the last word. He stood up, casually dusted off his clothes, and stretched luxuriously like a cat emerging from a sunbath. “Have you really never wondered how it is that we were fortunate enough to meet?”

  Saffron ignored him. She pretended to study her flip-flops as she bore the pains in her belly.

  “Li, Saffron. Li is the reason why we have met. As a matter of fact, Li knew this moment was coming all of your life. Yet…” He looked around; over the lawn toward the sea, through the ghostly branches of the trees, and into the alpaca field. “…where is she now? In your hour of need, where is she?” He spoke as gently as a lover. “Is she leaving you to die, Saffron? Because you will, you know…die. That pain you’re feeling is the foreplay of death.” He continued to smile pleasantly. “I’m here. I can help you. No matter what you say, it hurts me to watch you suffer like this.” He stretched his arms above his head and tilted his head to get a crick out. Saffron heard the crunch and shuddered. He shifted his legs. “She might thank me for your death. I’m sure she has been wishing for your death since you were born. Have you suffered many accidents in this life? Any repeated incidents of near-death calamities?”

  Saffron gasped.

  “Ah, hah. I see that means something to you. I only point it out because this gasp of, ‘Hhhgggg,’ denotes shock, whereas the other gasp you made earlier of, ‘Wheeeeew,’ was clearly from pain.” He smoothed his eyebrows with his fingertips. “I’ll take the blame there. I should’ve told you. Li is so possessive.”

  Saffron jerked her face away from his line of vision. Her eyes rolled back in her head as the pain mounted and squeeeeezed her gut. How she wanted to cry, but couldn’t even take the breath to moan.

  Jethin leaned on her back and put his mouth by her ear. She could smell his fetid breath. “If you won’t let me help you, there’s nothing left for me to do. Goodbye, my Saffron.” He stood up and bowed to her. “See you next time.”

  She felt the wind at her back. He was gone.

  Her eyes began to glaze with the pain. Her feet scraped down the slope of the roof as hot waves of cruel, spasmodic stabbing pierced through her lower intestines. Her breathing came in pants as she fell back against the wall of her home. She wanted her mother. She didn’t know what to do to reach Audrey beyond the sound barrier that Jethin put up. Low, guttural sounds poured from her lips, sounds she wasn’t even aware off. Then, “Ma, Ma, Mommm….” so weakly, that the gnomes only heard, “Mm, Mm, MmMm,” and went back to catching nightcrawlers.

  Saffron was foaming at the mouth. Her body began to convulse. Just before she passed out, she heard the tinkle of one tiny bell. Her head lolled to the side and that was the way Li found her, a limp lifeform in a pool of black blood. Li assessed the scene, and then crouched beside Saffron, careful not to slip in the blood. Was Saffron becoming a vampire or was she dying? Li prayed for Saffron’s death. How had this all happened so quickly? She didn’t want to believe Saffron would rush to Jethin so soon. She had assumed she could keep her safe. She had made a grave mistake. She ran her hands over Saffron’s inanimate form. A small smile of triumph crossed her lips. Saffron was not a vampire. It occurred to Li that the gore around Saffron’s wasted body was a telltale sign. Li could see that he had tried; but he wouldn’t have left a new fledgling in such a way. Saffron would have been weak and sick as a newborn vampire; he would have stayed very near during her three days. Something had gone wrong here. Saffron had been left to die.

  The fairy looked around. This was a lot of blood to clean. There was blood splattered on the side of the house, blood sticking and running down the roof, blood dripping off Saffron’s chin and soaking her robe, blood stuck in her (short?) hair, congealing in dark clumps. Li sat on the roof and pulled Saffron’s boneless, sticky body into her arms. “A fine mess you have left for me, little girl.” Li retrieved a gossamer cloth from among her robes and gently wiped at Saffron’s face, then neck and arms, and hair, and finally her clothes. Wherever the cloth touched, the blood was wiped clean away. The cloth itself blackened but it didn’t drip.

  When Li was done, there wasn’t a trace of blood anywhere on Saffron. For a good while longer, Li worked on the mess that had splattered all around. Soon, the walls of the house, the shingles on the little rooftop where they sat, and any tainted surrounding areas were all spotlessly clean.

  Across the field, and deep within the shadows, Jethin watched the fairy work. He leaned, arms crossed over his taut chest, on the trunk of a massive willow that stood on the edge of the forest. Its drooping limbs and tender, knifed-edged leaves swished back and forth in the gentle night breeze. The branches hung low and obscured him from human sight, but the animals knew he was there. They could smell him. Li knew he was there. She could feel him.

  His lush lips were pressed together and his eyes were squinted in thought. It wasn’t often he could lay eyes on her like this. Her beauty still touched him. The grace in her movements filled him with an agony that was too much to bear. He could move at her but she could move more quickly and leave him even more angered for his embarrassing try.

  “As always, my beautiful girl, I rush to your side to help you. Oh, what would you do without me?” Li smiled pleasantly while she worked, overjoyed to be of such great use to Saffron. “We don’t want people wondering why you were dining on blood this fine warm evening, now do we? You have learned your lesson; have you not? No more associating with vampires.” She looked at Saffron’s limbs and cocked her head. She adjusted Saffron’s arms so they folded over her belly, straightened her legs so they wouldn’t be skewed, brushed her long bangs to the side, and hooked them behind her ear. “There. Now you be good and watch me clean your mess.

  “I will not speak harshly to you about all this. I know why you did it. Ny confessed he sent the dream to trick your soul. That dream was a fabrication. Your soul can rest knowing the shore will never be empty for you, Saffron. I will always be waiting for you on that shore. Not the frozen tips of the earth or the fire within could keep me from you. I will always be there. There will be others, too, always there for you.” Li looked through the window into Saffron’s bedroom. “Would you like to see it? Hm?” Her voice was lower than a whisper, cooler than the bottom of an iceberg. Her lips were so close they grazed Saffron’s ear. “Would you like to see me waiting on the shore for you? Would that help?” Her voice was slithery. “Go look, Saffron, go look for me on the shore.”

  Li sat up straight, looked around the dark night, and squinted her black eyes. She felt Jethin still. When would he go away? She raised her head proudly. She refused to blame herself for this mess. Jethin could blame her for the senseless life she led as Molly all he wanted. But the fact was, she was Molly no longer. He had no Godly right to hold her actions unforgiven. She persisted in ignoring his presence and continued to chant to Saffron’s unconscious form. “Now Saffron, Ny will be there on the shore as well, and hundreds of others. Each and every one of us has a crowd waiting to receive us on the shore when we die. That was a dreadful trick Ny played on you, but how could you have believed it? Since the dawn of time, the shore has been empty for no soul! Why do you always place such trust in Ny? It is ridiculous! Try loving him as I love him - as a playful soul with boundless energy and a zest for adventure. But don’t give in to him; he can never give back.”

  She looked down at Saffron’s pale, clammy face, and watched her eyes move rapidly beneath her eyeli
ds. Li knew Saffron could hear her. “You are in a bad position right now. You will be in pain for quite some time, I am afraid. Then again…you don’t have to be…” The movement behind Saffron’s eyelids slowed, then stopped. Li knew Saffron had left her body.

  Chapter 23

  Saffron floated in a sea of black. Luminescent colors drifted past her and soft breezes washed over her skin, soaking her in the essence of warm, night-blooming flowers. She saw a light. The light grew. It was the full moon, one hundred times its normal size, suspended over the snowcapped mountains of her dream. Her body started a slow spiral. It drifted down. She landed in the glass boat and found herself opposite her beaming Grandmother.

  Only, her Grandmother didn’t look like herself. Grandmother was now somewhere in her twenties; her figure perfect, muscles toned, skin tight, smooth and beautiful. Her hair was jet black and hung like ribbons over her shoulders. She peeked out from under a heavy fringe of black bangs. She had large eyes, almond-shaped and the sparkling color of cognac. Her full lips spread open to reveal beautiful white teeth. She laughed with a joy so pure Saffron could feel the sound loosening her own heart and chasing away the darkness.

  “Grandmother, what are you doing here?”

  “Darling, I died just a little bit ago.” She tilted her head. “You didn’t die, did you?”

  Saffron shrugged. “Li told me to come meet her at the shore.”

  Grandmother stretched her eyes shut and used the voice saved for very naughty young children. “So, she’s found a way to be with you in this life, has she?”

  Saffron nodded glumly.

  “And she’s told you to come meet her at the shore?”

  Saffron looked down at the neon fish.

  “Well, you’ll do no such thing!” Grandmother slapped Saffron’s knee. “You just went ahead and did what she told you to do, didn’t you?”

  “Grandmother, I was in so much pain.”

  Grandmother softened. “Oh, my darling. There will be more pain to come in this life. Go back. There is more love than pain waiting for you.”

  “How can you be sure?” Saffron wanted to cry, but no tears came, as if it was impossible here.

  “God is telling me. He is telling me to tell you to go back. You can’t hear Him, can you?”

  “I only hear the boat in the water.”

  “Then it’s not your time to be here.” Grandmother gathered her dark hair and pulled it all over one shoulder.

  “Why do you look like you’re Chinese?”

  “I’m trying this on for next time. What do you think?”

  “You’re beautiful.” Saffron smiled. “Enjoy yourself with the fairies.”

  Grandmother balked. “With the fairies? Did I murder someone?”

  Saffron frowned. Jethin had made the same comment, “Did I murder someone?” He actually had murdered someone; but he found a loophole. When Jethin said it, she thought he was being facetious, he didn’t like the fairies. Why was her grandmother saying it? “Li told me…” Grandmother rolled her eyes. “…that we all become fairies when we die.”

  Grandmother chuffed. “Lies. We don’t all become fairies…only those of us who have caused great grievances against mankind become fairies when we die. Then those souls wait out their time steeped in nature and denied some pleasures, while they contemplate their actions. Without tactile senses like touch and taste and smell, they are free to put more effort into their other studies…like how to be a good human. To smell again. To taste and touch again. The desire for these things inspires us to be better souls. Some of us don’t wait too well in the fairy world, and get stuck there longer. If a fairy absolutely refuses to evolve, he devolves. That’s where you get into your hobgoblins and demons and such. They’re just fairies that revel in their rot until they become scary little monsters. Which brings us to angels; good angels are good angels and bad angels are the ones who collect and set to task all of the demons.

  “When one is allowed to be reborn after one’s stint in the fairy world, one must be born into a strict, religious lifestyle. Religion is the lowest rung on the ladder to understanding God, so that’s where one begins.” Grandmother grinned.

  Saffron sat in stunned silence.

  “Saffron, I was thinking. I know you must have made agreements with others who are to become your children, but I was wondering if you would consider having another. Could I come back as your youngest child?”

  “Well, yeah. If I marry a Chinese guy, I guess.”

  “Oh, you! The looks aren’t set in stone. What do you say?”

  “Sure, why not? Anyone else over there on that shore want to jump on the bandwagon?” Saffron squinted at the nearing coastline.

  “Good Lord, girl. Do you want to become ‘The Old Woman That Lived in a Shoe?’ Counting me, you’ve just agreed to have seven. And the one you agreed to have them with? Well he’s pure spitfire, and so will his children be. I don’t think it’s too soon to begin mental preparations.” Grandmother hooted and leaned forward to slap Saffron’s knee again.

  Saffron hugged the delicious sensation of the conversation close to her. “And who am I to have these children with, Grandmother?”

  Grandmother wagged her finger. “Ah, ah, ah! Not my place to tell. But, I think you’ve met him already.”

  “Already? Like what? I’ve met him once? Or, I’ve met him, and you know, I’m with him?”

  Again, twenty-something Chinese Granny smiled. “Not my place. But I’ll tell you about me as your darling child. Why, I’m an absolute pain in the ass! I don’t listen, I throw fits, I’ll dump your expensive shampoo in my bath water, I pee my pants when I don’t get my way…”

  “Oh, great! Sign me up!”

  Grandmother tapped Saffron’s nose. “But I’ll love you more than the sun, and the moon and the stars…just like I do now.”

  Saffron’s face softened, along with her voice. “Great. Sign me up.”

  The boat cleaved the black water. The neon fish were fat and plopped when they jumped.

  “Grandmother?” Saffron’s voice caught in her throat on barbs of guilt.

  “Darling, it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. I mean, I feel awful. I didn’t even try to talk to you or to help you. I’m so sorry. It’s just that…” Saffron sighed, “I was so afraid of you.” Shame pressed her head down.

  Grandmother leaned forward in a scented swirl of sweet and foreign spice. She tilted Saffron’s chin up with two silky-skinned fingers. Saffron looked into her cognac eyes and found them to be like mirrors, reflecting her sad face and wild red hair. But then Grandmother smiled, and so did Saffron. And that’s what was in Grandmother’s eyes – herself, beaming and beautiful.

  “I know.” Grandmother whispered. “It’s okay.” She pulled Saffron close into her small, strong arms and wrapped her warmly. “Don’t be afraid.” Grandmother leaned back against the bow, her arms resting on the sides of the little glass boat. She shifted and crossed her legs, then tilted her head to continue studying Saffron. “So now, what do you think of this go-round?”

  Saffron shook her head. The full moon behind her wore a skirt of clouds.

  “I’m sure there was a sonic boom in the world of fairy when you snuck away from your friends.” Grandmother’s tiny smile never left her soft lips.

  Saffron grimaced. “How do you know about that?”

  “Oh, posh. Everyone knows of you three, inseparable since the dawn of time. And that last life time! What a doozie!” Conspiring, Grandmother leaned forward. Saffron met her halfway. “Did you hear what happened during your Ireland 1600’s incarnation?”

  Saffron looked down. “Some.” The question was if she really wanted to hear any more…

  “Well, Li, who was Molly, had poisoned her father, who was Ny, and he expired just as he was having his jollies with that slutty widow in town…he died only minutes before Jethin threw Molly down that well. What a soap opera those three are!”

  “So that explains why Li is stuck in the f
airy realm. But what about Ny?”

  “How do you think the old slut became a widow?” Grandmother’s eyes sparkled. She was enjoying herself.

  Saffron hung her head. “And I didn’t do anything, did I? I just followed them like an idiot later on…right?”

  “Saffron, give me your hands.” Grandmother spoke earnestly. “You are not what they are. I’m not laughing at you. I can’t figure out what you’re doing here now. But what a joy you were to live with. Thank you for choosing us this time around. For whatever reason, thank you. And while you’re at it, congratulate yourself. Always did say it wasn’t good, what you were doing. Never saw a creature chain herself the way you did. We all do it, while we’re human. But you? You did it while you were in other realms as well.” Grandmother shrugged. “Why’d you do it?”

  Saffron began to shake. If only she knew why. If only she could remember. “I don’t know.”

  Grandmother sniffed. “Not important. What matters is that you left. That you did something for yourself instead of for them.” She winked. “Good for you, honey.” Then she looked hard at Saffron, and nodded. “Yes, I think it has worked. You seem stronger. Your essence, you feel stronger.” Grandmother threw a casual glance back over her shoulder and straightened. “Oh, look! There they are! Can you see them? Hellooo! Hello there!”

  Saffron saw forms of light walking forward on the beach. She couldn’t make out the forms very well. They were vague, gesturing images, making not a sound. Grandmother was so ecstatic, Saffron wished it was all happening to her. But she couldn’t force a tear; she had left them with her body on the rooftop.

  Grandmother turned around. “Now, honey, one more thing. Remember, you have control. The only time people go around controlling others is when people forget they have control. You need to remember you have effort. Effort will cure you. But you have to sustain the effort. It’s hard, but you can do it.” Then she patted her long, black hair, and ran her fingers through her long, black bangs, “How do I look?”