by Anna Hub
“Then why did you warn me?”
“Impulse, I guess. I was so hyper aware of shadows and I saw yours moving. I thought maybe if you knew it would help.”
“But there's nothing I can do anyway?”
“At least you know you’re not alone. I was so freaked out; I told people I thought cared about me and look what they did.” He motioned to the bed—his prison.
I wondered if my family would do the same.
“Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone.” He scowled. “Ending up trapped in here is the worst thing that could happen to you.”
“You’re not crazy?” I whispered, and he rolled his eyes. “Can’t you say you know it was all a delusion, tell them what they want to hear?”
“I tried. But the loss of consciousness, the injuries.” He lifted his arm covered in scratches. “They think it’s self-harm. Even though it’s not possible for me to do any of it when I am trapped in here. And asleep! But they don’t care about that. People only believe what they want to believe.” He stared at the roof, and I sensed there was no point trying to calm him down. Gradually the muscles in his jaw relaxed again. “The only advice I can give, is to learn how to survive. In that world there's no civilisation, no authority to protect you, it's each person for themselves.”
I thought carefully. I needed to get as much information as possible. “When did you first go there?”
“Months ago ... five maybe.”
He had deteriorated so quickly. “To begin with this only happened when I was sleeping. I thought it was a dream—now it’s happening outside my house.”
He shrugged. “That’s how it happens. You won't be safe anywhere now.”
How could he say that so callously? He’d been suffering through this alone for months, shouldn't he welcome the company? Instead, he saw the terror on my face, and it didn’t affect him.
“You should go.”
Insulted, I nearly left straight away. I grabbed my bag but couldn't hold my tongue any longer. “Don't you think you need someone on your side?”
A knock at the door interrupted us, and a young woman walked in. She was too well dressed to be a patient or a nurse. She stared at the bloody tissue in my hand and her voice came out condescending, “Are you okay?”
I cleared my throat. "Yeah, fine."
“I haven't met you before. My name is Sophie,” she paused, “I’m Brayden’s girlfriend.”
“Oh. I ... I’m ...” I looked to Brayden wondering who to introduce myself as, but his eyes had closed again. I grabbed at his arm. “No!”
Sophie came closer and took my arm. “I think you should let him rest. How did you get in here?”
“He only just woke up. I didn’t think he could go back so soon.”
“It happens all the time.”
She stared pointedly, and I quickly checked Brayden again. Although I wanted to stay, it wouldn't change anything, he would still be trapped in the shadows. Sophie stepped aside, so I had a clear view of the door. I considered standing my ground, but there was no point. I shifted the bag on my shoulder and headed outside.
The sun was long gone. I crossed the lot quickly, afraid that if I did pass again my body would be left unconscious, and they would lock me inside. I hopped into the car and drove away from Mercy Institute, relieved to escape the darkness that seemed to hang over the place.
While the car was moving, I felt slightly better. The shadows were shifting quickly, hopefully preventing me from the possibility of returning to the forest.
After visiting Brayden, there was no denying this nightmare was real, and it terrified me to think there might not be a way out. Eventually, the shadows would suck the life out of me until I was stuck in a bed, too weak to even sit up while the hunters chased me through the forest. I paused at a set of traffic lights. Eventually, this was going to ruin my life. It was already changing my behaviour and how I interacted with people. I thought then of my family—or what was left of it. How could this happen to us?
A pedestrian paused to look in my window, then pointed to the traffic lights. I nodded and quickly accelerated.
When I got home, the bathroom mirror revealed how bad I looked. My hair was straggly and the skin beneath my clothes stained with dried blood. No wonder Sophie had been so eager to get rid of me. At least, Brayden’s situation highlighted the importance of protecting myself from the concern of family and friends. I washed the blood away, painfully aware that I could never speak of this to anyone else.
Although I was afraid to fall asleep, it was impossible to ignore the fatigue. Brayden's one piece of advice was, learn to survive but I couldn’t survive another hunter chase without sleeping first. I made a bed on the couch that night. Somehow it felt less likely the shadows would swallow me there, but sleep didn’t come easily.
Instead, my thoughts ran over the experiences from the hospital. I’d only been there for a matter of hours but during that time, something changed within me. Previous to that, there was some part of me that believed this was all a delusion, and eventually I was going to snap out of it and get on with my life. But seeing Brayden’s body lying empty in that bed, gave me a glimpse into the future, and I could almost feel the doors closing already. His mind was trapped in two different prisons and who knew which was worse. There was no doubt he had a better chance of survival than I did, he was stronger and physically fitter, he could run faster, but still he was slipping away. If he didn’t stand a chance, what hope did I have?
--*--
The next couple of days passed with overcast skies and miraculously I remained in the real world even when sleeping. At work, I smiled when people looked my way but tried to avoid conversation whenever possible. They seemed relieved by my apparent improvement, and I didn’t want to attract too much attention; eventually, the shadows would take me again and then I’d be right back where I started.
It was the middle of the week, the office door was closed, and the lights were dim, barely a sliver of sunlight squeezing past the curtains. The longer it had been since I’d passed, the more confident I became. The threat of the shadows didn’t feel as consuming as they once had but all of that was just a false sense of security. Once the numb feeling touched my fingertips, I knew it was happening. I snatched my hand close to my body but it was too late, the shadow crawled over me, and the tearing sensation caused me to cry out.
My lungs burned as though passing into the new world took longer than it had before, and when I opened my mouth to allow much-needed air, I found myself submerged in water. I choked beneath the surface and struggled against the torrent. I reached forward desperately until my arms struck the bank. Using plants to pull myself to safety, I coughed to clear my lungs. Something scaly brushed against my leg, urging me to move faster. I pushed off the ground as a layer of slime spread across my foot.
On dry land, I paused to examine the forest. The foliage was thick but quiet, and the sound of crickets chirping helped calm me. I squeezed water from my hair, icy drops rolling down my spine causing me to shiver. This was the second time I’d been to the shadow world at night, but it was cold without Brayden’s shelter to block the wind. The moon hovered above the trees, offering a dim light and no shadows. I groaned, realising I would be trapped here until dawn. If I'd known my work office corresponded to a river, I wouldn't have been so willing to spend time there.
No doubt landing in the water had been loud. If any hunters were nearby, they surely would have heard me. Even thinking of them made me nervous. Brayden was far from comforting, but I would have given anything to be in the shelter with him. He wasn’t interested in talking, and he certainly wasn’t friendly, but he was all I had in this world.
Thick ferns grew all around with nothing substantial to sit on or hide beneath. I had to keep moving. I walked slowly, using the crickets' chirping to assure there was no danger. Eventually, I found a collections of rocks to settle amongst, offering some shelter. But as soon as I stopped moving, the cold spread from my feet all the
way into my chest, leaving me shivering. Why didn't I take Brayden's advice and learn about survival? Instead of seeking knowledge, I’d chosen to ignore the path I seemed destined to follow. Perhaps I was in denial, but now, alone in the middle of the forest with absolutely nothing to keep me safe or warm, I regretted my negligence. What did I know about finding proper shelter? And how long would it take before the cold made me sick? I rubbed my arms to smooth away the goose bumps. Wet hair hung across my shoulders and before long I felt like screaming. There was no choice but to keep moving. The sound of the river ran behind me, and the moon was the only gauge of direction to go by.
Although this world was nothing like home, there had to be some kind of structure. Brayden had managed to build a shelter around himself, which meant he passed there regularly and if he couldn’t move from his hospital bed he would be there now. It was almost impossible to try and find him, but I didn’t know what else to do. It was difficult to be sure of the direction from the river, but I tried to visualise walking toward Mercy Institute from my work. It would be over an hour on foot, but at least it gave me something to aim for.
Creaks broke the night, and animals scurried away from my approaching footsteps. I stepped lightly, partly because my feet hurt too much for a confident gait but also in the hope it might protect me from danger.
It was hard to maintain the same direction while manoeuvring around rocks and trees but I followed the moon and tried to account for the fact that it was moving too.
A sudden crash sounded in the distance; too loud to be a footstep on the forest floor. Perhaps it could have been a dead tree falling to the ground; I’d seen many of them splayed out on the valley floor. A terrifying scream echoed beneath the canopy and my heart jumped into overdrive. The pain in my feet faded into numbness as I prepared to run. The scream lasted only a few seconds then stopped. How could anyone cry out with such desperation then be silent? I felt sick at the thought of what must have happened to them. I closed my eyes and clamped a hand over my mouth, fighting the hysteria before it could get me into trouble.
Brayden said the hunters liked to move at dawn. That meant the first break of light, not the moment the first shadows were cast—the hunters would be out long before I could escape back to the real world. Suddenly I felt confused. How long had I been walking and where was the moon when I started?
I ran until my mouth was dry and my chest ached. Sweat cooled my cheeks, merging with tears of panic. I was lost. I’d been moving for hours but for all I knew, it could have been one big circle. My muscles trembled with fatigue but stopping seemed too dangerous. I climbed over a fallen tree and rushed ahead. Only when I came across two more fallen trunks did I realised where I was. The moon had risen, giving light to the two sides of the valley looming over me. This was the slope I had run up with Brayden. His shelter had to be close. Although it was tempting to call out his name, it would have been foolish. Instead, I moved along the length of the slope hoping he would see me from his shelter.
“Hey?”
My arms fell in a triangle across my naked body as Brayden appeared from behind a rock. “Come here.” His eyes searched the forest. “Don’t travel at night, you can’t see what hunts you.”
I hurried into the shelter where he hid. “You told me they hunt at dawn.”
“They’re not the only thing to worry about.” He looked into my eyes, his lightly curled hair resting by his cheeks. It was the first time he’d held my gaze since the restaurant. He seemed almost relieved to see me before he looked away and slid into a crouch. He didn’t say anything else; perhaps we were back where we'd started.
After a long silence, I asked, “Do you know how long it is until dawn?”
“Where were you when you passed through?” he asked.
I frowned. Hadn't he heard my question? “I landed in a river.”
“I mean, where were you in the other world?”
“Oh. At work.” I hugged my arms around myself. “I need to move my desk. I landed in the water.”
“I’ve landed in worse places.”
“What do you think this place is?”
“How did you find me?”
Why did he keep ignoring my questions? "I tried to walk in the same direction I would back home—as though going to the Mercy Institute. I don’t even know if I went the right way or if I just happened to end up here.”
He flinched at the mention of the hospital.
“Why is this happening to us? Why isn’t there anyone else here?”
Brayden shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Don’t you want to find out? Maybe there's a reason this is happening to us. Maybe we have something in common.”
“This has been happening to me for a long time, I tried to find a way to stop it, now I know there’s no point.”
“Right.”
His shoulders jerked forward suddenly, and my own back arched. Brayden gently pulled on a branch that was thick enough to conceal our bodies while I peeked over the top. A mouse scurried through the dirt and leaves before a night bird snatched it into the air. I jumped as it happened without realising I'd cried out at the same time.
“You can’t react like that.” Brayden snapped.
“It made me jump,” I threw back.
“If that was one of the hunters we would be running for our lives again.”
I breathed through my anger but for the first time, he seemed to notice his behaviour was unnecessary.
“Look, I know it may seem to you that I should have worked some of this out but I haven’t. You’re the first normal person I’ve seen here; I’ve had no one to compare myself to.” He didn't respond. "You really have no idea what might have caused this?"
"Do you always ask this many questions?"
I rolled my eyes. "I think questions are justified under these circumstances."
He exhaled noisily, and I had to bite my tongue before I said something I might regret.
"I just think we need to make the most of this time," I started again. "Aside from your warning, nothing unusual happened to me before this began." I closed my eyes, trying to fight the cold from sending me crazy. "But we must have something in common."
He didn't say anything but I'd come to expect that.
"My name is Selena. I’m twenty-seven. I live alone in the city, in an apartment. I have one brother and my father. I grew up there and have never travelled.”
Brayden leaned forward again to check our surroundings.
“What do you do for work?” I asked.
“I don’t have a job anymore,” his voice was laced with bitterness. I glared at him, and eventually he sighed. “I used to be a carpenter.”
That was obviously the best reply I was going to get. I tapped my fingers on my leg and peeked outside the shelter. Dawn was getting closer. “Why are there only men that chase us?”
“I’ve had women hunting me as well. They seem to work alone, they don’t communicate, they are just focused on fighting and surviving. There's nothing more to them. They fight like they are possessed, it builds their strength or something.”
“What happens if they catch you?”
“I don’t know. I tried to question one of the women once; she nearly killed me.”
“Great, if you can’t fight off one of the women what chance do I stand against the men?”
“Maybe we should have a meeting place,” he suggested.
He may have been crazy, but he was better than nothing. “I think that's a good idea.”
“I always pass through here these days, I don’t have any control over that, so the closer, the better.”
“My apartment is closer to the hospital, but I spend just as much time at work.”
“What good is your job, when you end up spending most of your time here anyway?”
“I can’t just stop going in.”
“I wouldn’t leave the house if I was you. It’ll only increase the chances of someone locking you away.”
I dropped
my gaze. What if I couldn't stop it before it got that bad?
“Why don’t we meet at the top of the peak? It’s easy enough to find, and I can go there regularly to check for you.”
I nodded.
“How often are you passing?” he asked.
“Today is the first since I last saw you. Two and a half days.”
Brayden looked at the ground, but I sensed he was holding something back.
“Is that too soon?”
“How long has it been since it first happened?” he asked.
“About five weeks. How long did it take you to end up like this?” Again, he didn’t answer. That was driving me crazy. “Please, I’d rather now how long I have.”
“For me, it was a slower process. To begin with I passed weekly, it was only this last month where it became daily.”
Five months seemed a short time for him to deteriorate to the point he was at now. Could my own changes really be more sudden? “How often do you pass now?”
“I’m lucky if I go back every third day.”
I swallowed. I wanted to ask him more, but the expression on his face stopped me.
We both looked into the night, watching the plants nearby moving gently in the wind. I was tired but I could only imagine for him, it would be worse. “Do you ever get to sleep anymore?”
“Only when I’m here, I don’t want to waste any time in the other world.”
Although he must be bitter at his family for locking him away, surely he still loved them—and his beautiful girlfriend, he would have to miss her. “How does a shadow do this?” I marvelled. “It doesn't make sense.”
Brayden scratched at his face, and I caught his hand trembling. He was masking fear, and it only made mine worse.
“I hope we can get our lives back somehow."
“Maybe if someone cared enough to help us. But no one’s fighting for me anymore, it’s like they’ve already written me off and I just feel like ... what’s the damn point?”
We didn't talk anymore that night. I was beginning to understand what made him the way he was. It was as though he was already grieving the loss of his life and trying to get help out of him was like trying to resuscitate a person who was already dead. If I’d known him better, there may have been something I could do to ease his suffering. I figured it was better to not even try. It didn’t matter that he was cold and bitter; he was human, and that would have to do.