Remembrance: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series Book 4)

by Lynn, Rebecca

  “You better start talkin’, sweetheart,” her mother guffawed as soon as she answered the phone. “There are things you’re not telling me!”

  Janie laughed. “It was just a kiss under the mistletoe.”

  “Honey, if you think that was just a kiss under the mistletoe, then you need your brain examined.”

  “What on earth did you think when you saw it?” Janie giggled. “And how did you see it?”

  “Maria saw it, then called me!” her mother yelled with humor, referring to Luke and Tiffany’s mother.

  Janie groaned. “She’s seen it?”

  “Yes. So talk.”

  “Was she upset?”

  “Are you kidding me? No, baby, she wasn’t upset. In fact, she called me to find out if I knew anything, then proceeded to tell me she’d always hoped the two of you would get together,” her mother said. Janie could hear her smile.

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. What’s going on? Are you two seeing each other? Talk to me!” she practically screamed.

  Janie took a huge cleansing breath, collapsed onto the sofa, then took the next fifteen minutes explaining the kiss, her feelings, and the fact that she and Luke were ‘looking’ for the perfect partners for each other. She spared her the rest of the details.

  “I always knew you’d had a crush,” her mom said quietly. “And I also knew that recently something changed between you two. Especially on Labor Day when we were at Jem’s. I don’t know if you knew that we could hear the two of you arguing when you were in the back hall. Your dad and I kept shooting each other looks.” Her mother chuckled.

  “How embarrassing,” Janie grumbled.

  “So, you gave each other until Christmas?”

  “Yes, but for all I know, he really does have some guy waiting on the backburner for me. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

  Her mother sighed. “Oh, baby. I know.” She paused. “It’s the twins’ birthday today.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Have you called him?”

  “We’ve been in touch, yeah. I was going to drop off some chocolate chip cookies for him later. He’s got meetings tonight, so I won’t be able to see him.”

  “That’ll be perfect. He’s always loved your cookies.”

  Her poor mother had no idea the euphemism she’d just used. Janie tried not to laugh.

  “Well,” her mom continued, “we’ll see each other on Christmas Eve, so I guess you’ll keep me posted?”

  “You’ll know when I know.”

  “Janie?”

  “Hm?”

  “I know it hasn’t always been easy for you. But I’m so damn proud of you, of who you are and what you’ve accomplished. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are and all I want for you is the utmost happiness.”

  “Mom,” Janie said, feeling suddenly weepy. “Thank you.”

  “You’re gorgeous and talented and creative…any man would be the luckiest man alive to have you. We all hope it’s Luke, but if it turns out it’s not, you’ll get through it and find someone special.”

  “Yeah,” Janie said, wiping her eyes.

  “But I’m still holding out for Luke,” her mother said as an afterthought. “I’ll let you go. Let’s do lunch this weekend. We’re still on for dinner and church on Christmas Eve, okay?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “And Robbie will be home on Friday. Maybe swing by.”

  “I will, Mom. Love you.”

  “Love you back.”

  They disconnected and Janie sat back for a moment. Eventually, she got up, put on some Adele, and finished making Luke’s cookies. Then it was time to get ready for date number two.

  ……

  As much as Janie hated to admit it, Luke had been right. Miguel had been a complete gentleman at lunch…charming, sweet, and interesting. But at the end of their date, he simply kissed her on the cheek and asked if he could see her again after the holidays. She’d said yes, her thinking being that if Luke didn’t come through the way she wanted him to on Christmas, she could at least drown her sorrows in some sweet Latin goodness named Miguel Gastaldi.

  Luke had texted her around four o’clock that afternoon.

  LD: How was lunch?

  JC: Fine, Dad.

  LD: Any kissing I need to know about?

  JC: Nope.

  LD: No, there was no kissing? Or no, u don’t think I need to know about it?

  JC: :)

  LD: He totally didn’t kiss u, but I’ll get it out of u tom. Gotta run. Off to my mtng w/ loverboy.

  JC: Have fun. Tell him I said hi.

  LD: Ha ha.

  Hours later, more snow was falling, but that night it was a light dusting as Janie strolled the short distance to Luke’s place. He only lived up three blocks and over one, so it was an easy walk. It was close to nine o’clock and her plan was to drop off his gift so he could enjoy it after his meetings.

  Like Janie, Luke also lived in a converted warehouse, but his was arguably larger and more swanky than hers, with a doorman, security and concierge. Luke had the whole top floor with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was a typical loft in the sense that it had the exposed pipes and brick, a fireplace, tall windows and high ceilings, but it was easily twice the size of hers.

  As she approached his street, she smiled thinking about what his reaction would be when he opened his present. She said hello to the doorman and entered the lobby, walking straight over to the front desk.

  “Hi. I’d like to leave this for Luke Daniels,” she said with a smile.

  “Yes, ma’am. This looks like a nice surprise,” the uniformed man responded with his own smile. She’d put the cookies in a box from her catering company then tied a huge red bow around it.

  “It is. It’s his birthday today, so,” Janie said.

  “Ah,” he said, then glanced nervously over Janie’s shoulder briefly, only to skitter back to Janie’s eyes. “I’m off duty soon, but I’ll make sure I leave him a note so he knows that something was dropped off.”

  “Thank you,” Janie said, then looked over her shoulder to see what he’d been looking at behind her.

  And stopped short.

  Sitting on one of the lounge sofas in a long red coat cinched at the waist, was Vanessa. She was looking at Janie like the cat who’d just swallowed the proverbial canary.

  And somehow, Janie just knew she was the canary in this scenario.

  What the fuck is she doing here? Janie politely acknowledged her with a nod. She thanked the concierge and started walking for the door.

  Vanessa’s long strides met her there before she could exit.

  “Hi, Janie. What a surprise,” Vanessa cooed. “Was that a present for Luke? How sweet.” Vanessa put her hand on Janie’s shoulder as if they were old friends. Her condescending tone put Janie’s back up.

  “Vanessa.”

  She cocked her head to look at Janie. “Looks like you brought him some food. It’s so sweet of you to make sure his needs are met. Well, the culinary ones at least,” she chuckled.

  Bitch.

  Janie looked at her, trying not to let the ugly past insecurities push their way in. Luke and Vanessa weren’t dating anymore so what the hell was she doing there?

  Janie gave her a cool smile. “It’s just a little something I made.”

  “That’s nice. He always talked about how he loved his baby girl’s cooking,” she said in a patronizing tone. She gave Janie a once over with her eyes. “It’s amazing you’re not heavier than you already are being around all of that food. Your weight must be a constant struggle,” she said sympathetically.

  “Not really,” Janie said with an overly bright smile.

  “I’ll let him know you stopped by so he knows you dropped off a present. He’ll be so sorry he missed you, I’m sure.” She kept talking, waving her hand then touching her hair. “I was so surprised when he called me earlier.” She sighed. “He said he wanted to see me after his meetings tonight. You know, fo
r his birthday. I suspect it’s for a birthday booty call,” she chuckled, lowering her voice co-conspiratorially, as if they were just two girlfriends sharing secrets.

  Do. Not. Engage. He ended it with Vanessa. He had meetings tonight. He said he had meetings. He wouldn’t call Vanessa for a booty call. She fought back the feeling of dread that began to creep over her.

  Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest. “He has quite the sexual appetite, that Luke.” She bit her lip. “I know you two have been friends forever, but since it’s been more like a brother/sister thing you might not understand what I’m saying. But Lord, let me just tell you, when we were dating? Any time I needed to burn calories, he could definitely help me out in that category,” she laughed gustily. “He’s an incredible fuck. That’s one place we were certainly compatible.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked at her sincerely. “Well, anyway, he’s just going to pull up so I can jump in the car. He should be here any minute since he just texted, and I know it’ll be really late when we get back. The concierge will probably be off duty, but I’ll make sure Luke knows about your gift. If not tonight, then I’ll definitely remind him of it in the morning,” she said, making pointed eye contact with her. “Or you can just give it to him. Do you want to wait?” she asked innocently.

  Janie’s breathing had accelerated during Vanessa’s diatribe. She could hear the buzzing in her head and was afraid that if she didn’t get out of there right then, she’d start to hyperventilate. Her mind was swirling and in mere seconds, she had a full on argument with herself, trying not to show it to Vanessa.

  Janie gave her the best smile she could, and tried to appear nonchalant. “Good night, Vanessa,” Janie said with dryness in her tone. “Have fun with that booty call.” Janie walked quickly out of the foyer and into the light snow. She walked as fast as she could without appearing to run, and pulled her scarf up over her head so she wouldn’t be recognized if Luke’s limo came down the street.

  Just walk. Keep walking. You’re almost home. She continued her argument with herself.

  Was Vanessa just being a bitch, or is Luke really taking her out? Have I pushed him too far? Flirted too much? Teased him to the point that he needed to have sex and couldn’t wait until Christmas?

  No, we both agreed we wouldn’t be having sex. He wouldn’t lie. He wouldn’t.

  Unless you pushed him too far, Janie, and he just needs to release some tension. He is a guy after all. A very sexual one at that.

  No, he wouldn’t do this. He promised.

  Then how does Vanessa know about his meetings? Why would she just be sitting there waiting for him when they’re not even seeing each other anymore?

  But how will I know if she’s lying?

  Just ask Luke.

  What if he doesn’t tell me the truth?

  That’s not like him. He’s a good guy.

  But maybe he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.

  Then why would he go out with you tomorrow night?

  Because I’m like a sister to him. He cares about me but not in that way.

  Give him the benefit of the doubt, Janie! He said he didn’t see you as a sister. He’s kissed you, flirted with you, made you climax, for cryin’ out loud!

  Maybe he really does just need to have sex. But why the hell does it have to be with her? Couldn’t he have waited one more week?!

  Janie entered her loft, slammed the door behind her, slumped down to the ground, and let the tears fall. When she finally had the energy to get up, she looked at the two vases of flowers on her counter and cried even harder. In a moment of frustration, she threw all of the flowers away.

  She went right to bed, her stomach in knots, tears streaking her pillow. You got your hopes up, Janie. That’s what you did, and now your heart will never be the same.

  A small voice inside her said Maybe Vanessa was lying. That was the one bit of hope she clung to while falling asleep.

  ……

  Janie awoke Wednesday morning, exhausted, her head pounding, eyes gritty, her nose stuffed from crying. She’d woken up briefly in the middle of the night and when the memory from the previous evening had slammed into her, she’d clutched her stomach feeling like she was going to pass out.

  Now early morning, she lay there staring at the ceiling, depression settling around her. Like Icarus, she’d flown too close to the sun that was Luke Daniels. She’d gotten burned, had gone up in flames and plummeted back to earth where she now lay in a heap of ash.

  Her breathing was labored. Why was it when your heart was breaking, you really did feel like every other part of your body was breaking, too? She felt it in her bones, in her lungs, like a tight band had been wrapped around them restricting her breath. Her muscles ached as if she’d had a hard workout the day before.

  She needed to ask him about it. She’d just tell him about her conversation with Vanessa and ask him. And if he really did lie about seeing her, then she’d live with the disappointment. It’s not like she hadn’t lived with a butt load of it before. Then she would tell him off and take a break from him, and this whatever it was they were doing.

  She rolled out of bed to see the light blinking on her phone. And when she finally looked on the screen, her legs gave way and she grabbed for the bed before she stumbled back onto it. Apparently she wouldn’t need to ask Luke if he’d been lying. The answer stared at her from her phone.

  Glaring at her from her screen were two pictures from the night before, alerts from her ‘Luke Daniels’ newsfeed. The first one showed Vanessa and Luke outside his place, her in her red coat from last night with a smile on her face, her hand on Luke’s shoulder leaning up to kiss him. They were standing in front of the limo, with Kenneth off to the side. The next picture was presumably taken moments later with them getting into his limo, Vanessa leading the way. It had been from the night before.

  The caption read: Is Luke Daniels on Santa’s Naughty or Nice list? We say both because he looks mighty nice, but is oh so naughty! Which redhead will get the gift of Luke this Christmas? The chef or the model? Tweet or text us your vote!

  She felt sick to her stomach. As a sob escaped, she noticed that there were other messages there she hadn’t seen when she’d first been consumed by the pictures of Luke and Vanessa. And they were from none other than ‘the one who must not be named’.

  The first came in a little after ten the night before, a voicemail.

  “Well, hello there,” he said in a soft nighttime voice. “I thought I’d catch you before you went to bed but I guess not. I’m home getting ready for my last conference call and just got your present,” he said with a smile in his voice. She could hear a female voice in the background. Was he calling her with Vanessa there? “You were right. I can put it in my mouth,” he chuckled. “And your cookies have never tasted better.” He smacked his lips. “This is the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten, Janie. Thank you,” he said quietly. A woman spoke in the background and it sounded like he fumbled and covered the receiver. “No way,” Luke said to the woman who had just spoken to him. “These are all mine. I’m not sharing,” he joked, then spoke into the phone, “I gotta run. Thanks again, Janie. The cookies are perfect. Talk to you in the morning.”

  Tears streamed down her face. She was so confused. She’d gotten home the night before at around 9:30 and he’d left the message about 45 minutes later. When had he gone out with Vanessa? Maybe they’d decided to stay in? It would be just like Vanessa to ask for some of the cookies she’d made for him while he was leaving a message for her. He fuckin’ better not have shared them with her! Asshole.

  There was one more message on her phone. It was a text message from Luke, from just before she had woken up.

  LD: U up? Can u talk?

  She covered her mouth and leaned over, feeling sick again. Janie ran to the bathroom and threw up. All of the pictures of Luke in the past had told the truth; why would this time be any different? He really did see Vanessa last night. She couldn’t
believe it. Every insecurity that she’d ever had about the man had risen to the surface like a toxic and oily film.

  Hugging the toilet, she emptied her stomach until she was dry heaving, sobbing and watching the tears drip into the water. She fell to the floor and cried her heart out. She’d always suffered from unrequited love when it came to Luke, but somehow this hurt so much more, cut so much deeper.

  She’d thought things had changed. Everyone had thought things had changed. She didn’t want to think it of him, but she’d felt as if he’d led her on in some way. Betrayed her. Maybe she shouldn’t think it, but she did.

  I mean, I climaxed in front of the man, for shit’s sake! What did he think I would think? He’d been flirting, he’d stopped dating Vanessa ages ago. He said he wasn’t going to be having sex, but here he was secretly meeting up with the bitch. Didn’t he know how mean spirited she was? Why would he even want to sleep with her? Wasn’t he looking for a woman he could go home to?

  It’s just sex, Janie. It’s different for guys.

  She knew he didn’t necessarily owe her anything, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d wronged her. He’d said he wasn’t a player, but she felt like he’d been playing with her affections all along.

  She was so hurt and angry. And this was Luke. The one man who’d always cared for her, was sweet to her, stood up for her. The one she’d compared every other man in the world to.

  He does love you, Janie, just not the way you want him to. It’s time to reconcile yourself to that fact. Maybe you really can’t play with the big boys.

  She sat there on her bathroom floor for what seemed liked forever, staring off into space and swiping furiously at the tears streaming from her eyes. After several long minutes, she crawled into the shower, trying to scrub clean the feelings of anger, bitterness and betrayal.

  He doesn’t owe you anything, Janie. Get over it. It’s time to find your real Mr. Darcy. Time to stop thinking of Luke Daniels.

  She eventually walked back into her bedroom, a zombie, dead inside but still somehow alive. She looked at her phone. He was supposed to call her about the details of their upcoming evening together and now she didn’t even want to speak to him. What would she say? Hope you had a great time fucking Vanessa on your birthday? After you told me you had meetings and couldn’t go out? After you told me you wouldn’t be having sex? After you told me you wanted a woman who felt like ‘home’? Does Vanessa really feel like ‘home’ to you, Luke?