Riding the Surf

by E. L. Todd

  Paola slowly moved from his grasp then grabbed his jeans again. She was very persistent.

  Derek grabbed her again, keeping her wandering hands at bay.

  She broke their kiss. “Why don’t you want me?”

  “Because I love you.”

  The silence echoed around them. Their breathing was drowned out in the resonance of his words. He couldn’t stop the words from escaping his lips. They just flew out. But he knew he meant them. Never in his life had he cared about someone the way he cared about her. He knew it the moment he saw her. If she was anyone else, he would take advantage of her and get his dick wet. He respected her too much, adored her too much.

  She stared at him and said nothing.

  Derek moved off of her and grabbed his shirt, pulled it on. He turned away so he wouldn’t see her underwear. She pulled down her dress then grabbed her shoes.

  “I should go,” she whispered.

  “I’ll walk you to your door.”

  They waited a few minutes before they reached her room.

  He grabbed her face and kissed her forehead. “Goodnight.”

  She took a deep breath. “Goodnight.”

  “If you want to sleep with me, I’m right next door.”

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  He waited for her walk inside before he went back to his room.

  Like the night before, he rubbed one out, calling her name as he came.

  10

  The next morning, he knocked on her door.

  When she opened it, she was wearing a sundress with a flower in her hair. She looked adorable.

  “Would you like to get breakfast?” he asked.

  “Actually, I’m meeting a friend.”

  “Oh,” he said. “Who?”

  She walked around him. “I’ll see you later.”

  Derek picked up on her attitude. There was something wrong. “Paola?”

  “What?” she said, not looking at him.

  “Who are you meeting?”

  “Vince,” she said quietly.

  He felt the anger rise. “Why?”

  “We agreed to meet again before I left.”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You aren’t hanging out with your ex-boyfriend while your current boyfriend waits around for you. I saw him with you last night. He wants to sleep with you before you go. I can guarantee that’s what’s on his mind.”

  “You aren’t my boyfriend.”

  “Excuse me?” he snapped. “Yes, I am.”

  “No, you aren’t,” she said with more conviction.

  “So what the hell was last night? Are you mad that I didn’t sleep with you?”

  She avoided his gaze.

  “You realize the only reason why I didn’t sleep with you is because I actually care about you? Believe me, if I didn’t give a shit, I’d fuck your brains out and never call you again.”

  “Yes, I know. Your reputations presides you.”

  His eyes widened. “And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “Derek, I told you I didn’t want to be with you yesterday.”

  “And yet, you’ve kissed me, held me, and wanted to have sex with me…”

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

  “Yes, you were. You knew exactly what you were doing. Don’t downplay your feelings for me. I was there. You can’t lie and pretend it didn’t happen.”

  “I admit my behavior was wrong,” Paola said. “But now I’m thinking clearly. You’re an asshole, Derek.”

  “What?”

  “I know what you did to Nancy and every other girl you’ve been with. You’re a cheater and a liar. You aren’t good for me.”

  “How dare you throw that in my face! I made a mistake and I’ll regret it forever. I’m nothing like that anymore. I told you I fucking loved you, for god’s sake.”

  “You just said that to get what you wanted.”

  “Why?” he snapped. “To sleep with you? Because I distinctly remember that being the reason why I didn’t sleep with you.”

  She glared at him. “Whatever this is, it’s over.”

  “No, it isn’t,” he snapped. “You know me, Paola. I would never hurt you. You’re—you’re my best friend. I’m not playing any games with you. I don’t want anyone else—just you. I admit I was an asshole before, but I’m not like that anymore. Honestly.”

  “Maybe you should have thought of that before you fucked some other girl.”

  He felt his anger explode. “Maybe you should have starting surfing before you took half naked pictures of yourself.”

  Her eyes widened like she’d been slapped. “Fuck you!”

  “It’s the same thing! I don’t hold that against you, don’t hold this against me. That isn’t fair.”

  “I can’t believe I kissed you.”

  “I can,” Derek said. “It seemed like you enjoyed it. And you know why? Because you feel the exact same way I do. So don’t push me away because your dumbass ex cheated on you. I’m not going to do that and you know it. You can see it when you look in my eyes. And you wouldn’t have fooled around with me if there wasn’t something there. So no, we aren’t done.”

  “Fuck you, Derek. Get away from me.”

  “Why? You have a photo shoot to get to?”

  “I hate you!”

  “And I love you.”

  “Stop saying that,” she said, tears coating her eyes. She slapped him across the face.

  He breathed through the anger then stared at her. “I love you, I love you, I fucking love you!”

  She turned and marched off.

  He watched her go, clenching his fists at his sides. When she was out of sight, he stormed into his room and wanted to punch something. With nothing to break, he did a hundred pushups then screamed. The wonderful weekend just turned to shit. Now Derek wished he hadn’t done the right thing. He should have just fucked her and never told her how he felt. Now she’d fallen for him and it scared her. He was livid that she held his past against him. That wasn’t fair.

  He packed his belongings then waited for her to return. They had a plane to catch. He’d cooled off slightly but he was still pissed. When he heard her door open, he walked to it then slammed his fist against it.

  “Go away!”

  “We have a plane to catch. Give me your bags.”

  She opened the door and glared at him.

  “Did you fuck him?”

  Paola tried to slam the door but he held it open.

  “Answer me.”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  He marched into the room then cornered her against the wall. “I asked you a fucking question.”

  She remained glued to the wall. “No.”

  He was still pissed but his anger dimmed insignificantly. It would kill him if she slept with someone else. It didn’t matter how upset he was. He grabbed her bags and shouldered them along with his own.

  “I can carry my own things.”

  “We’re in a hurry since you took so long,” he said as he marched out.

  “Shut up,” she said.

  They checked out and took the cab to the airport. When they were on the plane, it was awkward to sit so close to one another. He gave her the window seat again. Neither one spoke. When the plane was about to take off, she started to freak out again.

  Derek put his anger aside in light of her fear. He turned to her and grabbed her hand, putting it to his chest like he did before. She didn’t pull it away and closed her eyes. Her breathing returned to normal as the plane shook on take-off. He watched her face as it morphed from fear to calm. When she was better, he pulled away.

  The rest of the flight was spent in silence. More than anger, Derek felt pain. Her rejection of him carved his heart into pieces. He was livid with her. He was just trying to do the right thing. He proved how much he cared about her. His past shouldn’t matter.

  When they landed, they left the airport and walked toward thei
r cars. She stormed off without looking at him, throwing her stuff in the back tailgate. Derek watched her to make sure she got everything and left the parking lot. Then he got into his vehicle and drove home.

  When he lay in his bed, he felt worse than he ever had. He had the most amazing thing in the world and he lost it just as quickly. He kept thinking about her, wondering if she was thinking about him.

  He knew he said the L word too quickly, but he didn’t care. He meant it. And he had a strong feeling she felt the same way.

  11

  Derek was stubborn, argumentative, and confrontational. If someone pissed him off, he was done with them. But he couldn’t do that with Paola. She was all he thought about. After he had time to cool off, he realized he couldn’t let her get away. She was the best thing that ever happened to him.

  When he went to the beach the next morning, he wasn’t expecting to surf. He wanted to talk to Paola, work it out with her. But she never showed. Thatcher rode the waves while Derek sat on the beach. When the hour session was over, she still didn’t come to the beach. He realized she was trying to avoid him.

  When he went to the cafeteria later that day, she wasn’t around.

  “Congratulations,” Sydney said as she put the cupcakes in the middle of the table. There were toy surfboards on each one. Nancy and Thatcher joined them for lunch and now he understood why.

  “Wow,” he said. “Thank you…” Even he could hear the insincerity in his voice.

  “What’s wrong?” Sydney asked.

  He sighed. “Paola…”

  “What happened?” Nancy asked.

  Derek told them the whole story. They were quiet for a long time.

  “I guess I can understand her reaction,” Sydney said. “Coen and I were in the same situation. I knew he was playboy and I didn’t want to get burned again.”

  “Well, what do I do?” Derek asked

  “Convince her otherwise,” Coen said. “If you really like her, it shouldn’t be hard.”

  “I told her I loved her,” Derek said quietly.

  They were all shocked.

  “You just met her,” Ren said.

  “I knew I loved Nancy the moment I saw her,” Thatcher said.

  “But you guys are artists,” Ren said.

  “We are soul mates,” Thatcher said. “There’s a big difference.”

  Derek waved his hand. “I know it’s crazy but that’s how I feel. I don’t care what you think.”

  “If she already fooled around and spent all this time with you, she must be really into you,” Sydney said.

  “You think?” Derek asked.

  “Yeah,” Nancy said. “Now she’s trying to push you away because she’s scared. Don’t let her.”

  He nodded. “I won’t.” He looked around the cafeteria. “If I can find her.”

  “You can’t call?” Sydney asked.

  “I can but I know she won’t answer,” Derek said.

  “There’s a small beach past Benson road,” Thatcher said. “Only a few locals know about it. I bet she’s surfing there.”

  Derek’s eyes lit up. “Thank you so much.”

  “No problem,” he said.

  Coen stared at Derek. “It was really stupid to drop the L bomb on her like that.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “I can’t control how I feel.”

  “But you can control what you say,” Coen said. “I fell in love with Sydney after, like, a week. But I kept it to myself so I wouldn’t give her a heart attack.”

  Sydney had her arm hooked around his and she smiled at him.

  “It looks like sex helped,” Derek noted.

  “What?” Nancy said. “Who caved?”

  “Coen,” Sydney said triumphantly.

  Nancy sighed. “There goes my lunch money…”

  “I don’t feel bad for you,” Sydney said. “You should have picked me.”

  “You only won because you tricked Coen,” Henry said.

  Her eyes widened.

  “What was that?” Coen said.

  “Nothing…”

  He looked Sydney, drilling holes in her skin.

  “I may have faked a few tears…”

  Coen shook his head. “That was low.”

  “But the sex was really good.”

  “I’ll give you that,” he said.

  “I should have just had sex with Paola.”

  They all looked at him.

  “You did the right thing, Derek,” Nancy said. “She’ll realize that.”

  “But I could have avoided all of this,” Derek said.

  “She’ll understand why you did it,” Sydney said. “Don’t worry about it.”

  After his classes were over, Derek grabbed his board then went to the secluded beach. It was in a sharp cove and the waves were condensed. Trees and brush hid the sand from the road. It was a beautiful sight. He didn’t know if Paola would be here in the evening but he decided to take the chance. Since she was upset, she may come to the beach to clear her head. He sat on the sand and stared out at the ocean, waiting.

  An hour later, a woman walked across the beach. She wore a pink bikini and a threaded bracelet was on her wrist. He knew it was her. He approached her from behind.

  “Hey.”

  She turned around, surprise on her face. “What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you.”

  Paola crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t want to talk to you, Derek. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “We’re working through this.”

  “There’s nothing to work through.”

  “I’m nothing like the man I used to be. I promise I won’t cheat on you, lie to you, or mistreat you. I will give you the respect, love, and trust you deserve, Paola. Please.”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “Just ask Nancy how she feels. She’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m a good guy and I’m different.”

  She turned away.

  “Look at me when I talk to you.”

  “I’m done with this conversation.”

  “Well, I’m not. You wouldn’t have kissed me or been so close to me all weekend if you didn’t feel something for me. You knew what I did to Nancy before that trip even began, so what changed? Don’t give me any bullshit.”

  She looked at the ground below her feet.

  “Is it because I told you I loved you?”

  Paola tucked her hair behind her ear.

  “If that’s why, I take it back.”

  “Did you mean it?”

  “I’m hurt that you even asked me that,” he said. “Please remember that I didn’t sleep with you when I easily could have. I don’t want sex from you. I just want a date. Please. If I were anything like the guy I used to be, I wouldn’t even bother.”

  She kicked the sand below her feet.

  “And I’m sorry about what I said about your modeling. I was just angry and it came out. I just wanted to prove a point.”

  “That was low.”

  “Yeah, it was. And I’m sorry.”

  “Did you look up my pictures?”

  “What? No. That didn’t even cross my mind.”

  “You swear?”

  Derek shook his head. “I would never do that, Paola. When I see your body, I want you to show it to me. I want the real thing.”

  “Did you tell your friends?”

  “I’m not that stupid.”

  “Derek, I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “I—I don’t know. It’s hard for me to trust people.”

  “You don’t have to trust me right away. And we don’t have to be in a relationship. We can date for a while until you are ready, exclusively, of course. I’ll do whatever you want to make this work. I don’t mind taking it slow. If I didn’t, I would have taken advantage of you already.”

  She finally looked at him. “Okay. We
can go on a date.”

  He smiled. “You have no idea how long I’ve been working toward this.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve wanted to ask you out the day I saw you. I finally got my wish.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Can I cook you dinner at my place?”

  “You’ll cook for me?”

  “Yeah. I’ve never done it for a girl before. Don’t judge me if it’s bad.”

  “I’ll love it no matter what.”

  “Phew,” he said with a smile. “The pressure is off.” He took out his phone and texted her his address. “I can pick you up. It’s a date, after all.”

  “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll be there in a few hours.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  12

  Derek didn’t know how to cook many things so he prepared pasta, the easy choice. He bought raviolis from the store with fresh bread and started cooking in his kitchen. He looked up the directions on his phone and stuck to the regiment. When everything was almost done, he pulled the wine out of the freezer and set the table.

  A small knock on the door announced her presence.

  Derek felt his heart accelerate. She made him feel so nervous. He wasn’t sure why. In the small amount of time he’d known her, he felt like he understood her in a unique way, but that didn’t diminish the anxiety he felt.

  When he opened the door, he felt his heart stop.

  She was wearing a dark blue dress, tight around her waist and shoulders and loose around her legs. The lines of defined muscles were outlined around her shoulders and her arms. Her legs were swollen with aerobicized muscles.

  “You look…yeah.”

  She smiled. “I hope that’s a complement.”

  He nodded vigorously. “It definitely is.” He pulled her waist to his, his hips in line with hers, and then pressed his face close to hers. Derek didn’t kiss her. Instead, he enjoyed the closeness he felt with her. Just in that moment, he felt more intimate with someone than he ever did with any other partner. He hadn’t even had sex with Paola, but he felt like that they had already gone farther than that. Their souls had already touched. He wasn’t sure when it happened. When they were kissing, staring at each other, or just holding each other. It crept up behind him and bit him quickly.