However by the third week of April, I still hadn’t booked anything. Instead, I’d been making excuses to myself such as not having access to a computer, what with Debs being away. Mind you, I could actually use the telephone to make an airline booking, but that would have been too easy.
Eventually I decided to go over to see Crystal, and ask to use Michael’s computer. That way I could forward the confirmation to Mom when I got it back from the airline.
‘So, how are you feeling?’ asked Crystal as she poured some coffee beans into the grinder I’d bought them for Christmas.
I looked at her, and saw a slight smile creep onto her stunning face. I started shaking my head.
‘No … no, you can’t be serious?’
‘Quite. Not only can I see it in your eyes, I can hear a very strong heartbeat,’ she said, beaming now.
‘But we’ve been careful. Oh, well, maybe not every time.’
‘Yes, well that’s all it takes. One time,’ she said, laughing as she turned her back to me and then pressed the button on the coffee grinder.
‘What am I, some sort of overgrown rabbit, destined to push out babies every few months?’
She set up the coffee maker then walked back and sat across from me. Within moments the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee came wafting toward me.
‘I wouldn’t put it that way, but you certainly are fertile. And that’s a good thing, isn’t it? I mean, from my perspective it’s more than just a good thing, it’s fabulous. And you’re happy too, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah, I mean, well … I guess I’m not unhappy, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. You know, I’ve been trying to sort out this trip to see my family at the end of June. I suppose it could still work out. I mean, the baby will be due toward the end of May, right?’
‘Yes, that’s probably right. You weren’t pregnant the last time I saw you. It’ll be fine. Don’t worry yourself.’
She got up and opened a box of shortbreads and carefully placed them on a plate. As I watched her, I thought how funny it was that she could make such a simple task look so graceful. But everything she did was graceful. And of course, everything she said always seemed to be right. I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. By the middle of June I’d be back to normal. We could still fly out shortly after that and no-one would be the wiser.
‘I do love these little babies of yours,’ she said, looking over her shoulder at me. ‘And so does Mladen. He doesn’t say much, but he has this renewed spring in his step now that there are young ones to be taught. He’s very pleased with you.’
And so we chatted, and drank our coffee and ate the shortbreads. Life wasn’t so bad. I’d have another baby—a baby who would someday be as strong and powerful as Michael.
When I told Sam later that day, he just laughed.
‘Maybe you shouldn’t worry about going to university. I think we’ve found your calling. You’re going to create enough dhampirs to wipe out the whole vampire population—at least here in Australia. Well, maybe with a few exceptions,’ he said.
‘Yes, certainly with a few exceptions. But you know I’m not too sure I want to be old and fat just yet.’
‘Old and fat? You’re joking, right? You’re beautiful when you’re pregnant. Not that you aren’t always beautiful, but you seem to glow when you’re pregnant. I think that’s the acceptable expression.’
I smiled, but only on the outside. This just wasn’t the direction I’d seen my life taking. But having Sam’s babies should be enough to make any woman happy, shouldn’t it?
That night, Sam held me tight until I fell asleep, and when I woke during the night, he was still there. When I asked why, he just sort of tilted his head, and said that Tom and Michael would be fine without him. It worked—I forgot all my troubles and slept the rest of the night through like I didn’t have a care in the world.
The next morning, Sam sat at the table while I made myself some toast and a cup of tea. We discussed the forthcoming trip to California to see my family, and he said he was fine with all my ideas. Then we chatted about the things we might do with Claire and Tom while she was here. But eventually I could see he was getting a little anxious, so I said I’d go for a run in the gardens if he wanted to go catch up with Tom. He stood up, thanked me, kissed me on the cheek, and was gone before I even finished my cup of tea.
I dressed for a run, and headed across the road to the gardens, but as I reached Elizabeth’s bench all desire to run left me. Instead, I sat on the bench thinking I’d wait a bit to see if she’d turn up. It wasn’t long before I heard her humming and then she was sitting next to me.
‘Another baby—how wonderful. You think it’s wonderful too, don’t you?’ She was obviously struggling with my muddled thoughts and mixed feelings.
‘Yes, of course, it is wonderful. But at the same time, I would like to think there is more to my life than just making babies. At this rate, I’ll have four, or maybe even five, a year.’
‘True. But then, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there? You always look so happy when you’re pregnant.’
‘Oh, yeah, no, I mean … sure. It’s just that I feel a little bit like a production line or something. I’m sure I’d feel different if I actually got to keep the babies rather than simply handing them over to Mladen each time. I do love being with them when they’re little, and it’s so hard to walk away and leave them.’
‘Well, I think your house would be very crowded if you brought them all home with you,’ she laughed, no doubt trying to lighten my mood. ‘But seriously, the way I see it, you and Sam are doing a great service to the world. You’re a unique couple; both such thoughtful, intelligent, not to mention beautiful people. Who better to produce a whole generation of young dhampirs? After your close encounter here with that rather nasty vampire, I’d have thought you’d like nothing better than to be of assistance in wiping out the lot of them. Well, except for Sam that is … and Tom … oh, and Erranase, of course.’
‘True. I suppose I should be grateful that I can help. It’s just not how I saw myself being a useful part of society.’
‘Well, speaking of being useful … I do have an idea,’ she said, smiling.
‘What is it, Elizabeth?’
‘Well, it’s just … a few of the others have asked me to ask you something.’
‘Ask me what? What are you up to?’ I said, screwing up my face trying to look tough. I don’t think it worked.
‘It’s not me. It’s just, some of the others … they saw what you did for Rachel. I mean, I know that didn’t quite turn out the way you expected, but your heart was in the right place. You were trying to help her.’
‘Yeah, trying is the right word, all right,’ I said, shaking my head.
‘Yes, trying. And that’s the point. You were trying to help. We all know that. And a few of the others … they’ve been wondering if you might, you know, try to help them.’
‘Help them in what way?’ I asked, doing my best to control my excitement. This was just what I wanted, but it was also a little scary given how bad things had gone with Rachel.
‘Uh, well, it’s different with each one you know. But maybe, if you can help them to resolve their issues, they can move on.’
That familiar chill came back over me, and I could feel the hair on my arms and legs stand up—I was covered in goose-bumps. It had been so magical when Elizabeth had done it—helping those three ghosts to move on.
‘They think I can help them?’ I could hear the hope in my voice.
‘Yes. Well, a few do anyway. You know, no-one blames you for what happened with Rachel.’ She looked down at her hands as she spoke.
‘What did happen to her, anyway? Did you ever find out?’
Elizabeth continued looking at her hands, shaking her head back and forth slowly. When she answered her voice was soft and low.
‘I just know that they were very disappointed with her—and she was very, very sorry that she’d behaved so badly.’
I still wondered who, exactly, they were, but I also suspected it was something I wasn’t meant to know. But I knew one thing; that I didn’t want them, whoever they were, disappointed with me.
‘I can try, of course. With your assistance, that is.’
‘Will you? Oh, Lili, you’re going to make some ghosts very happy. And of course, I’ll do anything I can too. So, shall I tell them you’ll help?’ She was so excited now, her little face simply beamed with joy.
‘Yes. But be careful not to promise too much. I mean, I’ll do my best.’
‘No, of course I won’t. But the fact that you’ll try—even that will make them happy. I’ll go now to give them the good news. Will you come back here, tomorrow morning?’
‘Sure, I’ll come tomorrow. Just remember, make it clear that I only said I’ll try.’
~~***~~
I sat on the bench, feeling as nervous as a kid on the first day of school, waiting for Elizabeth to turn up. What had I agreed to? Was I going to make a mess of this too? Thoughts of Rachel ran through my mind. First as a shy looking little girl—then as the girl with the sinister smile—and finally as that wretched creature that screamed at me, threatening my life. Was I setting myself up for more of the same? Were most ghosts nice like Elizabeth and Henry, or were they the exceptions?
Luckily I was spared from agonising over it for too long, as Elizabeth appeared within just a few minutes. She humming as she approached with a young woman I hadn’t seen before.
‘Lili, this is Rhonda. Rhonda, meet Lili.’
We both said brief hellos, and smiled. Then Rhonda sat at the other end of the bench while Elizabeth remained standing.
‘Shall I go now, and leave you two on your own to talk? Or would you rather I stayed?’
I didn’t want Elizabeth to go, but it was obvious Rhonda did when she asked, ‘Would you mind going?’
Elizabeth looked at me and smiled, and said, ‘I won’t be far, Lili. If you need me, just call out my name—I’ll hear you and come back. But really, it will be fine.’
I nodded silently, and Elizabeth disappeared.
Rhonda seemed rather timid, and looked to be feeling as uneasy as I felt.
‘Elizabeth said you would try to help me, that’s right, isn’t it?’ she asked in a voice that trembled slightly.
‘Sure, I mean, I can’t promise anything until I hear what you want me to do, but of course I’ll try,’ I said in the most reassuring voice I could muster.
‘It’s simple really. I just need you to send a card to someone for me.’
I let out the breath that I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. That sounded easy enough. Perhaps I could do this after all.
‘Okay.’
‘Oh, thank you. I’ve been feeling so guilty—I mean, the poor man.’
As I looked at her blankly she too began to relax, and a broad smile lit up her face.
‘Let me explain. You see, I was running late to meet a friend. I’d taken a tram into the city, and as soon as it stopped, I jumped off and pulled my phone out of my bag so I could ring my friend to let her know I was on my way. That’s when it happened. I didn’t see the tram coming from the other direction. I walked right in front of it. It all happened so fast.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry … I mean, that sounds awful.’
‘No. I mean, yeah, I died, but I didn’t feel a thing. It was just so strange. You see, I was watching, from above, as they tried to help me. And the poor tram driver.’
‘The tram driver?’
‘Yes. I think he was in shock. He didn’t, or wouldn’t, see me. I hung around the whole time and I was trying so hard to get his attention. I wanted to say I was sorry—that it wasn’t his fault and that I didn’t blame him.’
Wow, this girl was killed by a tram, and she wanted to apologise to the driver? Well, I certainly would do my best to help her—if that was all she wanted.
She sighed and continued. ‘I want to send him a card—for you to send it for me—to tell him that I’ve forgiven him. I know his name, and driver number. I’ve been following him for years now but I still can’t get him to see me.’
‘Following him?’
‘Yes. Here in the city and at the graveyard where they buried me.’
I thought about it for a moment then asked, ‘but don’t you think he’ll just assume it’s a hoax? I mean, really, a card from a girl who died?’
‘I’ve thought of that. I know just what to say so that he’ll know it isn’t a hoax. He’ll believe it—deep down inside, where it counts. And I’ll be able to let go.’
‘Okay—if you’re sure. I have ten dollars on me, will that be enough?’
‘More than enough—it just needs to be a simple blank card.’
We walked to the market and Rhonda led me to a stall that sold greeting cards. She’d already seen the card she wanted—blank inside, with a yellow rose on the front. Then I bought a pen and we walked back up to the bench where I sat down to write it out.
She must have been thinking about this for quite some time as she dictated what she wanted me to write without any hesitation. When it was done, I read it back and it sounded perfect.
‘Dear Mr Lee,
I have tried to contact you, but you don’t see or hear me, so I’ve found someone to write this card for me.
I see you come to my grave. You look around to make sure you’re alone, and then you gently kiss the petals of the yellow rose before you place it on my headstone. And I hear you beg forgiveness for what you believe to be your fault. But it was not your fault. You don’t need forgiveness. What happened was my fault. You couldn’t have prevented it. I was the one that walked in front of your tram. I should have looked.
Please—do not blame yourself any longer. And if you can find it in your heart, please forgive me for causing you so much pain. I have said what I needed to say, and I can go now.
Rhonda
She was right. I would post the card today, and on some level, he would know that it had come from her.
~~***~~
That evening, as I snuggled up next to Sam I decided I should tell him about my day with Rhonda. At first, he listened intently, and I thought for sure he was going to be angry. In some ways, I couldn’t blame him, not after what had happened with Rachel. But I continued telling him the whole story, and promised him it was different—that it had been co-ordinated by Elizabeth who had ensured Rhonda’s motives were genuine. By the end of my story, his face had changed from looking dubious, to looking proud. And when I said I’d be going back tomorrow to help another ghost, he just smiled and wished me luck.
Then he rolled me onto my back, and my gorgeous husband touched me in ways that made the whole world seem to disappear, with the exception of him of course.
~~***~~
The following morning I met Elizabeth at her bench again.
‘How did you go with Rhonda? I haven’t seen her since yesterday. Did everything go well?’ she asked.
‘I suppose so. Had she told you what she wanted me to do?’ I asked.
‘Yes, to send a card to the tram driver.’
‘That’s right. So, I wrote what she wanted and she followed me to the post office and watched me mail it.’
‘And then?’
‘Well, just after the envelope dropped from my fingers, she smiled, thanked me, and disappeared.’
‘Oh, is that all? Nothing interesting?’
‘No, not really. Well, she did seem younger just before she disappeared, or maybe I just hadn’t realised how young she actually was. She looked to be around the same age as me.’
‘Yes, about the same I think. But she’d been so worried about that poor man—I think that made her look older. Anyway, I’m glad you were able to help her. It was easy, wasn’t it?’
‘Very. And I felt really good about doing it; about helping her resolve her issues.’
‘Yes,’ she said, smiling brightly. ‘Now, are you ready for another? It’s just a small request�
�similar to Rhonda’s.’
‘Sure. I mean, of course I’ll try.
She called out, and an older man approached us. His name was Arthur, and his request was simple too. He wanted me to write a note for him and put it in his garage. It seems he died without telling his wife about some money he’d buried in his back yard, and though he tried and tried, she just wouldn’t see him.
His house wasn’t far—we went by tram. When we got there, we waited to be sure she wasn’t home, and then went into the garage. There was some paper, and an old pencil in one of the drawers of his workbench. He told me exactly what to write, and even helped me find a bit of paper with his writing on it so I could get my writing to look similar to his own. Then he showed me where to hide the note. I tucked it into a crack in the cupboard where she kept her laundry powder so that just a bit of the corner showed. Then he had me tip the laundry powder over and spill some, so that she would have to clean it up. He figured that way she’d find the note the next time she did the laundry. He hoped she’d think she’d simply overlooked it—that it had been there all along.
That took up the whole morning, but it was fun. It made me feel like a private investigator—sneaking around in their garage. My heart was thumping like crazy for fear of getting caught, but she didn’t come home while we were there.
The following morning when I met Elizabeth in the gardens she had an older woman with her—Hilary. Hilary must have been in her seventies, with a kind face and piercing blue eyes that looked too young for her wizened face. Hilary hadn’t spoken to her sister, Joan, for several years. It seems the sisters had argued over something so trivial that Hilary couldn’t even remember exactly what it was. Hilary wanted to tell Joan that she was sorry for being so childish, but Joan couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see her even though Hilary had tried many times.
Sacrifice (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 2) Page 15