Murder Princess and the Summer Death Camp

by Mizuki Mizushiro

  It was only about midway through the second day, so there should have been many more activities left. Saying it’s finished despite that, what the hell…

  “Could it be a surprise?” Snatching the guidebook from his hands as he stared at the pages, Eiri answered his unstated question.

  “……Surprise?”

  “Yeah. It’s not the least bit happy, though… Look here, at this phrase.” Holding the guidebook out to Kyousuke and the others, Eiri pointed at something in the margin of the third day. There, in small characters, was written the following:

  *This schedule is approximate. It is subject to change without notice.

  “…But she said that it was according to plan!”

  “She must have meant that according to plan, the plan changed! Wouldn’t that mean that, from the beginning, there was no intention of proceeding in accordance with the schedule in the guidebook?”

  Shrugging her shoulders, Eiri glared at the schedule. “We passed through hell and purgatory, and last is heaven…but if you don’t arrive in heaven, you stay in purgatory…you feel the creator’s spite. The activities planned after this are all jokes, too. ‘Great Mixed Bathing Competition,’ ‘Dark Martial Arts/Pillow Fight Match,’ ‘Summer Panic @ House of Limbo,’ ‘Mandatory Wet Swimsuit Party’ …If they never meant to put on these activities in the first place, it’s no wonder that they’re this stupid.”

  “Stupid? They sound ridiculously fun, though…”

  “Mixed bathing,” “pillow fight,” “summer festival,” “dripping,” “swimsuit,” and so on—the schedule was packed with fascinating keywords. If they actually happened, it certainly would be a kind of heaven…

  “…Yeah, I’m sure. To you, that would be heaven, wouldn’t it…? Especially the first and last activities.” Eiri slammed the guidebook shut violently and thrust it out to him. “I think that’s also part of the plan from the academy’s side of things. After dangling the possibility of pleasure in front of us, they yank it away with this surprise—it’s the same as a surprise attack. Having concealed a deadly weapon, they stab us suddenly, when we don’t expect it. If we had known from the start that something like this would happen, we probably could have prepared our minds for it, but…anyone would be shocked by being unexpectedly abandoned like this and told to find their own way home. Isn’t that what they were aiming for?”

  “I-I see…”

  There was no doubt that Purgatorium Remedial Academy was capable of such a thing. Thinking back, the major room cleanup that Kyousuke had questioned earlier also seemed to indicate that something like this was planned in advance. The second night of the two-night, three-day trip was to be survival camping. It was serious prison camping.

  “O-Oh dear… Wh-wwwwh-what’ll we do…? We’re supposed to make our way back from here, but we don’t know the way! And it was super far from the academy to the House of Limbo… Do you think we can make it back on time? Oh dear…” Maina looked around despondently.

  Most of the students must have been forced into similar situations by now. There had been no advance warning, and the anxiety and uneasiness of being suddenly stranded in a dense wilderness was no ordinary feeling. In his heart, Kyousuke, too, was as flustered as anyone else. Despite that, the reason he was able to somehow feign calm was—

  “…Fwah. If we have to be back by sunset tomorrow, we’ve got enough leeway, don’t you think? If we hurry, and don’t make camp, we could probably arrive tonight. Even if we don’t rush, we should make it in plenty of time.”

  —thanks to the presence of Eiri, who kept her cool; she even yawned as she made this assertion. Her eyes sleepy as ever, Eiri rummaged through the contents of her rucksack. “One chocolate bar, and one sixteen-ounce water bottle…about two-thirds full. If it’s not enough, are we just supposed to find more on our own? That’ll be a bother, so let’s hurry up and get back.”

  Finished checking the rations that had been allocated to them in the guise of an “afternoon snack” along with their remaining water, Eiri took off walking at a brisk pace.

  Kyousuke, surprised, called to her to halt: “Hey, Eiri! Even if you try to go back, the way—”

  “…I know it!”

  Eiri turned around, and in one hand she gripped a six-inch dagger. Spinning the concealed weapon by its decorated handle, she winked.

  “I cut marks into the bark of the trees on the way. That way we would be prepared when we got lost…see?”

  Brushing her hair back as if to say “Of course I did!” Eiri started walking again. The dagger had already disappeared from her hand. It seemed that, aside from her nails, she had shrewdly prepared other deadly weapons.

  Should I admit that’s expected, or…?

  Kyousuke and Maina looked at each other, then followed behind their reliable assassin classmate.

  Knockin’ On Hell’s Door

  LIFE IS SHORT—KILL ’EM, GIRLS

  CONTINUED: DAY TWO IN PURGATORY

  “It takes about two hours to get from the forest to the House of Limbo if we walk slowly. The sun sets before seven o’clock, so…just to be safe, let’s walk a little quickly. When the sun goes down, it’ll be difficult to check the marks.”

  A gloomy sea of trees surrounded them. They had made it this far with Eiri’s guidance. She advanced without hesitation, checking the marks on the trees, while Kyousuke and Maina followed her confidently.

  Maina voiced her admiration. “Eiri, you’re amazing! You’re really not lost at all, are you?”

  “There’s quite a distance between one mark and the next, but…don’t tell me you remember most of the way?” Kyousuke asked.

  “…Naturally,” Eiri replied nonchalantly, still facing forward. “The marks are only there to confirm what I already know! Long ago, I was abandoned in faraway places as part of my family’s ‘education,’ much deeper in the mountains than this. They made a point to cover my eyes, too…and I didn’t have any water or food. Next to those lessons, this is a yawn.”

  “Geez, that sounds like the kind of stuff they did in ancient Sparta! When you say ‘long ago,’ how old were you?”

  “—Five.”

  “Five years old?! You weren’t even in kindergarten yet! That’s…It’s amazing you survived.”

  “Not really. That was only the beginning. I mean, my family is insane, after all.”

  “……Right.”

  Kyousuke decided not to say anything more on the subject; Eiri remained composed. The Akabane house that Eiri was born and raised in was a noted family of assassins, with distinguished origins.

  Born into an abnormal household and raised by an abnormal family, Eiri herself was nonetheless normal. Normal and therefore pure… Within such an abnormal setting, she was practically a heretic. Kyousuke could not even begin to understand how she felt when she pointed to her own brothers and sisters and declared them insane. There was no way he could have understood.

  To Kyousuke, his family members were irreplaceable. His love for his dear little sister, Ayaka, went without saying, but his eccentric, unprecedented, world-traveling, free-living parents were also—

  “…Anyway, isn’t there something else that we need to be paying attention to?”

  Eiri’s strong voice pulled Kyousuke’s attention back to the situation at hand. Dense greenery surrounded them on all sides. Eiri’s severe eyes swept the area, alert for any signs of a presence lurking deeper in the grove. In her profile lay a slight tension.

  “—That girl named Shamaya or whatever…if she was planning to do something to us, this would be the perfect opportunity. Or rather, if she’s going to take us out, this is her only chance. Once the prison camping trip is over and we go back to regular classes, we’ll hardly ever have any contact with her.”

  “Ah, you’re right…for sure.” Nodding, Kyousuke tightened up his slacking wariness.

  At Purgatorium Remedial Academy, contact between the first-year students like Kyousuke and the upperclassmen was extremely limited. Their
school buildings and dorms were of course separate, as were the places where they performed their fatigue duties.

  There was no rule that said they could not come into contact, but there were also no opportunities to do so. It was likely that most of the first-years were seeing upperclassmen for the first time during this trip. That was how completely segregated they were. And even if they did come into contact, whether on purpose or not, it would surely draw the attention of the teachers’ watchful eyes.

  On the other hand, there were no other students or teachers around now, so they could do as they pleased. That’s right, she could kill us as she pleased. “The academy is pulling a bold stunt here…leaving all of these murderers unsupervised,” Kyousuke muttered in disgust. “Isn’t this practically a jailbreak? What are they planning to do if some of us actually run away, or hide, or kill other students…?”

  “K-kill each other… Oh dear. Wh-wwwwh-what’ll we do?!” Maina looked around restlessly, frightened.

  While checking the mark on the bark of a tree, Eiri casually replied, “If anyone tried to run away or whatever…the whole island is like one big prison anyway. And if they tried to hide, there would be nowhere to escape to, so there would be no point. As for the rest, I think the school is watching to see what kinds of behavior this exercise brings out in the students. They’re probably checking up on the progress of the rehabilitation programs by letting them loose.”

  “Hm. I see now… ‘If they don’t follow instructions, just get stricter’… Is that what you mean?”

  “Just my guess. Even if I’m wrong, hardly anyone here would kill so recklessly just because they saw an opportunity. All the built-up hatred and animosity… When it finally boils over, isn’t that what moves someone to act on their lethal impulses? I myself don’t exactly know, but…unless someone is an irredeemable psycho killer like Renko, I don’t think they can be so casual about murder. I mean, if killing was that easy, I—”

  “……”

  Kyousuke couldn’t bring himself to speak to Eiri, who had stopped walking and was staring at her fingernails. Even with her superior skills and training, she was an assassin who couldn’t kill.

  Eiri, who was disgusted by murder and avoided committing it, spoke in a wishful tone. “To tell you the truth, I…have a feeling that girl won’t come. I don’t know what Renko thinks about it, though. Even if she’s the Murder Princess who murdered twenty-one people, she’s the chair of the Public Morals Committee now. She seems to take pride in that and be very aware of it, plus she’s been strictly disciplined by Kurumiya and the other teachers for two years. If she comes to kill us despite all that, she’s an untrainable wild dog… Wouldn’t they also want to test the state of the rehabilitation of that serial killer, just like the rest of us?” When she finished, Eiri began walking again.

  “Miss Shamaya’s rehabilitation…huh…” Just then, the mutilated hand towel crossed Kyousuke’s mind, but he shook his head and dismissed the thought. That had definitely been a product of Shamaya’s attempt to contain her murderous impulses—

  “…Well, this is all just my conjecture, and it’s best to be vigilant, so we can’t get careless. Not only because of her… There are other groups who have animosity toward us, and probably also wild animals out here. We need to be careful.”

  “……Yeah.”

  “O-okay!”

  Kyousuke and Maina nodded, and followed behind Eiri, returning to a single-file line.

  Swish.

  From behind them came the sounds of vegetation being disturbed.

  “……?!”

  Instantly the atmosphere grew tense, and together they all turned.

  A figure flew out of the shadows of the trees, springing directly for them in an instant.

  “Aaaaaagh!!”

  “Kyousuke?!”

  “Oh no, Kyousuke!”

  Kyousuke, thrown completely off balance, tumbled down to the ground. It was there that Eiri’s and Maina’s screams reached him.

  “…Guh?!” Kyousuke groaned as the back of his head slammed into a hard tree root.

  Catching him in a powerful, desperate embrace, the figure—the girl wearing a black gas mask—spoke in a cheerful, singsong voice.

  “Found you! I finally found you, Kyousukeeeeee!”

  “Renko?! Y-you… What are you doing here—”

  “You should already know thaaaaaat! I was looking for you! I’m so glad I ran into you…so glaaaaaad! Let’s kiss! Mmwwah.”

  “…Just die.”

  “Wha?!”

  Renko, who was bringing the exhaust port of the gas mask close to Kyousuke’s mouth, quickly leaped out of the way. With a mighty follow-through, the toe of Eiri’s loafer smacked Kyousuke directly on the lips.

  “Oofah!! My moooooouuuth!!”

  “…Tch. You were able to dodge again. How irritating. Piss off, you perverted girl.” Ignoring Kyousuke, who was rolling around holding his mouth, Eiri shot Renko a loathsome glare.

  “Kksshh…,” Renko sighed, placing her finger coyly on the exhaust port. “How can you say things like ‘irritating’ and ‘piss off’ to me when I was so worried about you guys and rushed to find you…? You’re so cruel, Eiri! Shouldn’t you try to grow your sense of kindness, along with your boobs?”

  “Huh? I am kind, though! I protected Kyousuke’s lips when you tried to take advantage of the confusion and steal them! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Eiri? You call this protecting my lips?!” Picking up his dirt-covered body, Kyousuke rubbed the parts in question that had suffered Eiri’s flying kick.

  Maina, meanwhile, was worried. “Oh dear…th-they’re swelling up like sausages…how awful!” She brushed the dirt from his tracksuit.

  Renko shouted his name hysterically as she ran over to him. “Wow…if they aren’t splendid swollen wiener lips! Are you all right?”

  “No, I’m not all right. I’ve had a horrible accident…and whose fault do you think it is that I’m in such a state?”

  “That’s right. How about doing a little self-reflection?”

  “It’s both of your faaaaaauuuuuults!”

  They had returned to the subject at hand.

  “…Well? Why are you here?”

  “I told you already,” Renko answered, rubbing a lump on the left side of Kyousuke’s head. “I was worried about you, so I came running.”

  “When you say you came running…do you mean you found us in the middle of these dense woods?”

  “Yep.”

  “…How?”

  “By listening for your heart’s scream, which cried out that you wanted to see me.”

  “……Come again?” Kyousuke asked, raising a clenched fist.

  “Hyaa?!” Renko yelped in surprise, bewildered. “Well…first of all, I heard the noise of an explosion—booom! Then I thought maybe you might be over here, and when I came to check out the situation, I heard all of you talking… I’m glad I was able to find you! So, umm, Kyousuke…if you understand what I’m saying, how about maybe you lower that fist?”

  “…I see. By the way, about how far away were you?”

  “Hmm, I think I was probably pretty far, because I heard the explosion and immediately started running…and I just now finally got to you! It looked like there were no other squads nearby!”

  “Hmm, is that so…?” Kyousuke lowered his fist and nodded. “If that’s true, we probably won’t come across anyone else for a while.”

  Renko sighed with relief. “Kksshh…”

  Eiri placed a hand on the lump on the side of Kyousuke’s head, and furrowed her brow. “…Wait. Hey, you,” she said to Renko. “What happened to your squad mates? Don’t tell me you left them behind when you came?”

  “Yep.”

  “‘Yep’…? Are they okay?”

  “Probably.”

  “Probably…?”

  Eiri glared at her reproachfully, but Renko laughed with a “K-k-kksshh
!” and threw out her chest. “Don’t worry. I was also easily able to catch that upperclassman on the Public Morals Committee who was trying to run away!”

  “Huh?!” The three of them were shocked.

  Got caught pretty good, huh…?

  “Right about now, my squad should be doing this and that to her, really making sure to get everything out of her. It’s that girl who always looks like she runs a gang. I stomped on her long skirt, and she tripped over her own feet.”

  What, is she Maina? What a stupid upperclassman… Turning on her heel after delivering a canned line, and falling magnificently… That’s so embarrassing that even if she attempted suicide right here in the woods, nobody would have been surprised. That’s too uncool…

  “…Well, that’s about it. I’m going to head back with you all. We still have little miss Shamaya to worry about after all. I couldn’t bear it if Kyousuke’s life were to be snatched away while I was leisurely strolling back with my own squad… I will protect you no matter when the danger strikes! …And instead I will probably be the one to attack you! At night or something… K-k-kksshh…”

  “Th-that’s even more frightening…”

  Now I doubly regret getting into a situation like last night. I almost bled to death… That was the luckiest thing that has happened to me since entering school here, and also the greatest danger I’ve been in.

  Eiri got in between Renko, who was drawing closer, and Kyousuke, who was backing away. “It’s okay, I won’t let her do it. If she tries, I’ll—”

  “Will you attack me, Eiri? You think you can mess with the Renko? Huh?”

  “Huh?! N-no…no way! What the hell are you saying? Are you stupid?!”

  “Waaahh! No fighting, you two!”

  “Yeah, Maina’s right… Kyousuke’s only got one body, so why don’t we get along and all three of us enjoy playing with him! All together, let’s make memories AND babies!”

  “…H-hey now. W-we need to hurry back! We don’t have time for anything stupid.” Already exhausted, Kyousuke started walking.

  The journey to the academy stretched long before them. I’m begging you, he wished desperately. Please don’t let anything happen along the way!