They needed to bury the child soon. Rebecca dressed Ruth in her white christening gown that Sarah had brought from Boston. Even in death the child was beautiful and it looked to Rebecca as though she were sleeping. Rebecca took the blankets that were once used to keep the baby warm and wrapped her. There would not be a coffin. Funerals on the trail were done quickly in shallow graves.
Robert knew that wolves would more than likely invade the final resting place after they had abandoned the site. He was wise to keep that information to himself.
After the small grave had been filled and prayers said the wagon train was on its way again. Rebecca stayed inside the wagon with Sarah. They said little as they tried to accept what had happened.
Sarah sat motionless, her eyes focused off into oblivion. Her heart was broken. Her breasts were weeping with the milk for an infant that would no longer suckle.
Rebecca pulled her close to her. Once Sarah was in the arms of Rebecca she broke down and finally cried. She cried until she fell asleep.
The heartbreak was a dual pain for Rebecca. She loved the child and she was helpless in comforting Sarah whom she had raised. She wanted to carry the burden and heartache for Sarah.
Later that night Rebecca left the wagon site to be alone. She wept bitterly. She wept for Ruth. She wept for Sarah and Robert. She wept because she would do just about anything to be home again.
~14~
Molly: The Forbidden Fruit
I was so tired after that emotional session with Tiponi. Cosette followed me back to the room. I was glad Jack was staying. However, I had begun to feel the tension between us building. We still needed to talk. I was putting it off for as long as I could.
The fact that we were away from Chicago was helpful. I liked to pretend we were frozen in time. It was less complicated this way.
Much to my surprise and delight he had made dinner. He had Rod Stewart playing on my tape recorder. It was a welcome sight. We ate and danced in the tiny room. It was perfect.
Over dinner Jack asked how the day went and was anxious to hear more of the story. I did not know if I would have the strength to relive all the sad things I had learned today. He poured some wine and we cuddled on the bed as I told him the latest chapter.
~
Philip woke to find that Molly had left his room and his bed during the night. He was upset that he had let himself go into such a deep sleep as to not notice that Molly was leaving. He dressed for the day. His mind was on the night before. He had decided that he would act as though nothing had happened between him and Molly. He was not sure how he could pretend after last night, but he had to protect her.
He entered the dining room. His eyes searched the room for her. Jeremiah could see that he was looking for Molly. He did not want Philip hurt any more than he had to be.
“She is not here.” Jeremiah informed his son.
Philip’s heart sank. “Where is she?”
“Gone,” he replied.
“Father, what have you done?” He was becoming frantic. “I love her!” he pleaded hoping to get some compassion. “I want her to be my wife.”
Jeremiah put down the paper he was reading. He spoke to his son in a calm voice trying to reassure him.
“That is foolish, Philip. In time you will understand.”
Philip was becoming hysterical. “No, it is you that does not understand. I love her and she is the only woman that I want!”
“Get hold of yourself, Philip!” his father demanded.
“What did you do with her?”
“I did nothing at all,” Jeremiah said with resolve. “You are well past the age of my jurisdiction. I have little power.” He handed Philip a sealed envelope.
With his hand shaking Philip opened the letter.
My Dearest Philip,
I love you with all my heart. However, we cannot be together. We are not from the same place. I will only ruin your life if I stay.
The time I have had with you will remain the most precious in my life. You are my heart as I am yours.
Please understand and know that I will carry you in the depths of my soul forever.
With all my love
Molly
“How can this be?” was the only thing that he could say. “There must be some kind of mistake. This is not true,” he protested.
“You wrote this letter, not Molly.” He leaned over to his father. “I need for you to tell me right now, where she is and what you had to do with all of this.”
“Don’t be foolish Philip. Why on earth would I do such a thing? I am not a fool. I know that you would only resent me and not believe it. You have a letter to prove it.”
Jeremiah was strong in his conviction and it was hard not to believe that he was telling the truth. Philip ran from the house and mounted a horse. He fled to the place where he and his beloved Molly had spent the day. Hours had passed and day turned night. He did not believe she could be out of his life forever. She would not be. He would see to that.
~
Two months later Philip was drinking at Mulligan’s. It had become a bad habit as well as a crutch in past months. Today, he had an appointment. He was waiting for Fletcher Stone. He was a disgusting dirty man. He was rude and difficult to be around. He was considered the best in his field. He was a bounty hunter and known to always get his man. He was just what Philip wanted.
Philip knew without an introduction that this was the man he was scheduled to meet. His abhorrent appearance and mannerisms told him without any doubt. Philip stood and extended his hand to Fletcher. He got right to the point.
“Thank you for coming. I need you to find someone.”
He offered him a seat and poured him a drink. Fletcher said nothing. He was happy to be indulging in the good whiskey.
“I hear that your price is $500.00? That is quite a sum.”
“That is only for a month’s work,” Fletcher replied. “If it takes longer, then you pay more.”
He took a closer look at Fletcher and wished he had not. His hands looked as though they had never been washed. He was sure it had been so long since he bathed that the shirt would have to be peeled from his skin. None of this mattered to Philip. He had to find Molly: to hell with the cost. He hired Fletcher Stone and gave him an advance.
~
Several months passed without a trace of Molly. He continued to pay Fletcher. He did not resent the cost or wonder if Fletcher Stone was taking advantage of him. Philip had to find her. After several months of hunches that led to nothing Fletcher Stone wanted to meet with Philip. They sat in Mulligan’s. Philip was anxious to hear that Molly had been found. The drifter looked at him with his tired eyes.
“This is turning out to be more than I had thought,” he said.
“I thought you were the best in your field?” Philip could not hide the disappointment.
Fletcher Stone did not let that rattle him.
“I am but then there are those who want to be found and those who never will.”
Philip was surprised at his honesty. He did not think that Fletcher Stone would be so forthright as to admit when he had been beat. He assumed that he would keep bleeding him until he decided it was fruitless.
“So, you are telling me that you want to give up and you will not be of service to me any longer?”
Fletcher Stone swallowed the last of the expensive whiskey that Philip had bought him, and belched. Philip could smell it from across the table and he was appalled.
“What I am telling you Mr. Butler is that you are wasting your money and my time.” He sat back and thought for a moment. He decided to make Philip and offer.
“I don’t like to stay in one place for too long, you know that. What I will do for you is to keep looking in my travels. If for some reason or miracle I find her, you will be the first to know, my friend.”
Friend? How could Fletcher assume that? Philip cringed at the thought of Fletcher being anything but a means to an end. Fletcher was not leaving him any other option e
xcept to trust that if he could find her somewhere, somehow, someday, he would.
Philip thought all was lost and toyed with the idea of finding her himself. He knew however, if Fletcher could not find her his chances were even less likely to be successful. Fletcher Stone traveled in different circles. Those avenues would not be accessible to Phillip. His best bet was to take any help he could from this vagabond. He had to count on the fact that there was a handsome reward awaiting Fletcher if he found Molly. That was his last hope.
~15~
The Scent of Rose
Philip returned home a broken man. In the weeks to follow he became obsessed with his work. Almost every waking moment was spent at the office. It was the only way he could cope. He would stop in Mulligan’s almost every day in the hope that he would see Fletcher Stone and he would have had some news about Molly.
Jeremiah had become very concerned. He also felt the sting of guilt and regretted his involvement in the demise of the relationship of Molly and Philip. He saw how Philip merely existed. He thought about his own Madeline and how much he would have resented someone interfering. A farmer had raised Madeline. She built a life with Jeremiah and she fit very well into any social situation. Jeremiah realized this too late. He could only look upon his mistake concerning Philip and Molly with a deep regret.
~
Every year at the first sign of fall the governor held a gala. He would invite the crème de la crème of the town. Jeremiah had not attended since he had lost Madeline many years ago. Looking at Philip gave Jeremiah a change of heart. He approached Philip with the idea. Philip was in the study at the desk looking over paperwork.
“I have received an invitation from Governor Gibson.” He hesitated knowing that Philip knew it was about the party.
“And?” Philip questioned. He did not bother to look up.
He knew his father’s intentions before he made the suggestion.
“I think we should go.”
Philip looked at him with confusion and resentment. “You go on ahead. I have no interest in attending.”
Jeremiah took a deep breath. He was not sure how to convince him when there was so much resentment. How he wished that Rebecca could be here. She had a way with Philip. They had a connection that was unique and one that Jeremiah could not grasp with his son. He took a chance. Philip could not begrudge him anymore than now so he went out on a limb.
“Given the situation I wonder what your sister would have suggested you do?” he questioned.
Philip was standing. He closed the ledger he had been examining.
“She would have said, to hell with father, marry Molly.” He made his point and left before he said more. He had hurt Jeremiah and that was his intention at the moment.
Once Philip was in the confines of his room he was remorseful. Philip was a kind-hearted man and did not get pleasure in hurting his father no matter how he thought he had deceived him. What his father had said made him toy with the idea of attending the party. He began to think of his sister that he missed so much: Rebecca, the little girl that he could not protect from the venomous sting of the upper crust of Boston.
He chuckled to himself. To hell with all of them! He would go. He would show them that they had run off one Butler but he was still there and a threat to their stuffy attitudes and bigoted view of humanity.
~
Philip had to be the best-looking man at the party. In his humility he seldom was aware that he was such an eligible bachelor. He was a one-woman man and Molly had been that woman. He looked around the party at the finely dressed women and men.
He had to admit to himself that it was good to be out again. The seclusion had been overwhelming. He had never felt loneliness until Rebecca had left and now Molly was gone as well. Even when Rebecca had been in Connecticut, there was a promise of her return. Now, his future was uncertain.
He was about to enter the porch outside to have a smoke. A young woman who was not looking ran into him. She had been involved in conversation with another woman. She did not see Philip.
“Oh, I am so sorry!” she said as she blushed.
Philip was about to just excuse the accident when he looked to see who it was. There stood a woman who was very small in statute and had hair the color of the turning leaves outside. She had soft blue eyes that held a simplicity he had not seen today.
“Oh, please don’t worry; I should have been more careful,” he assured her.
He immediately took the opportunity to introduce himself to this lovely creature. “I am Philip Butler.” He extended his hand.
She responded by offering her hand. He liked the feel of the smallness of her gloved hand in his.
“I am Rose Marshall. I am pleased to meet you,” she said lightheartedly. She had recovered from the embarrassment and Philip liked that.
“Could I be so bold as to ask you if I could get you some refreshment?”
Philip was not a snob but had been well groomed in playing the part. He could turn on the charm and rub elbows with the best of them. He was sincere and there was something about this woman that was different from the others in the room. Most of these women bored him to tears.
Rose nodded to his request. Soon she and Philip were alone in a corner of the room getting to know each other.
Philip learned that she was a niece of one of the political figures in town. She was to visit indefinitely. Philip walked the grounds with her that day far from the small talk that was so blasé to him. He found Rose to be intelligent and unspoiled by the family she had come to visit. Philip made a mental plan to keep her away from them so it could not happen. In his heart he was convinced it would not anyway. Rose had a quality he had seen only in Molly and Rebecca. Rose thought for herself and did not give others the power to guide her free-thinking. By the end of the afternoon he had asked her if he could see her again.
Later in his room he unfolded the letter from Molly. He felt a certain amount of betrayal. He had to let her go. He had to do it for her sake and also for his. She was someone who would always have a special place in his heart. He was wise enough to know that holding on to her was only going to cause him a life of misery. She was a part of his life that he would never forget. But, she undoubtedly was gone. He needed to move forward with his life.
Philip continued to see Rose on a regular basis. By Christmas they were married.
Rose looked lovely on that fall day when they married in the gazebo behind the Butler mansion. The changing colors were at the peak of the season. Mrs. Walters had gone to great lengths to be sure the garden that had been neglected for so many years was neatly manicured. She had elegantly decorated the temporary wedding chapel. It looked absolutely beautiful and very romantic. They were married just before sunset with candles illuminating the tender scene.
Rose wore her grandmother’s wedding gown of Chantilly lace. It modestly covered her small but curvy figure. Her veil framed the small features of her face beautifully. She shed a tear as she looked into the eyes of her handsome groom. Her mind wandered as she thought about how anxious she was to start a family. She was marrying man who was so unique to her. Philip was a man who she thought no longer existed in the circles she traveled.
Philip was delighted and further convinced he had chosen well when she agreed to a small private wedding without all the pretentious people they knew. He whisked her off to the country where they honeymooned for several weeks.
When they returned they decided to reside in the home where Philip had been raised. Rose felt that because Jeremiah was aging it would be prudent for them to be there.
It did not seem possible, but Philip looked even better after his marriage to Rose. He became less resentful of his father. Once again, the servants noticed he was smiling often and at home more than at the office.
Shortly after the New Year Rose told Philip the happy news that she was with child. Philip was delighted. Jeremiah had new hope. Philip had not been this happy since Rebecca had returned home.
R
ose and the impending pregnancy helped to ease the sting of the absence of Rebecca during the holidays. Mrs. Walters looked forward to the sound of the cries of a newborn ringing through the house once more.
Philip did not hold the same passion for Rose that he had felt for Molly. In time he accepted it as just the difference in love. Rose was responsive to him and she brought the Butler household to life again. She even had the rose garden replanted as it was during the rein of Madeline Butler.
She was not above getting her hands dirty in the kitchen to prepare a meal for her husband and his father. This was a welcome sight to Mrs. Walters. The house had not been this alive since the days of Madeline. It had that relaxed domestic feel once again. Unbeknownst to Jeremiah, before Rose became pregnant, she would share a glass of sherry with Mrs. Walters in the kitchen late at night when the men were asleep. They would laugh and indulge in small talk.
Rose had the maturity to understand what would make Jeremiah squirm so she simply did not share with him her rapport with the hired help. He would have been blind to not be aware that there was a much lighter air about the house. He attributed it to Rose and her amiable disposition. She was a wise woman.
Her next project would be the outdated sitting room where she planned to have many guests in the years to come.
This certainly gave Jeremiah a reprieve. He could once again justify his actions with Molly when he saw how happy the newlyweds were with each other. Philip had married within his social status and he was happy. He could not want more for his only son.
~
Philip thought his life was healed and complete. Then one day he stopped in Mulligan’s. He walked up to the bar and ordered his usual whiskey. Mulligan greeted him and pointed to the table in the corner. “Do you see who is over there? He is waiting to talk to you.”
Philip looked over and saw Fletcher Stone.
The Spirits of Nature Page 10