Christmas Spirit (Cutter's Creek Book 12)

by Annie Boone

  “And you’ll hold on like some dainty girl,” she said.

  He bent close to her ear, his hot breath brushing her cheek. “Maybe I’ll hold on like a man in love.”

  Her gaze snapped to his and her jaw dropped. She managed to close her mouth quickly to try to hide her surprise. The nervous feelings rushed through her. Hope and fear swirled together in one mass of confusion. What did he mean by love? He couldn't mean he loved her. Could he?

  He lifted his head, took her hand, and pulled her to his horse. Turning her so she faced him, he gripped her hips, staring straight into her eyes, as he lifted her up and helped her settle into the saddle.

  The beast moved under her, pawing at the ground. No doubt he was itching for a run. She grinned, gripping the reins as she looked over the horse's head. Soon enough Josh scooted in behind her and all her senses came alive as his chest leaned against her back. His strong arms slipped around her waist, capturing her as his large hands gripped the pommel.

  Her head felt light and her cheeks burned while the reins trembled in her hands. Did he realize what his embrace felt like to a girl like her? It made her feel strong but protected at the same time.

  She swallowed hard and turned to glance back at Josh. He said he wanted to see the wild Felicity. Well, maybe she could show him. Maybe she’d show herself, for that matter. He raised his brows, as if questioning what was in her mind. He was about to find out.

  “Hold on tight, cowboy,” she said before nudging the horse hard with her heels, and flicking the reins quickly, sending the beast into a fast gallop.

  “Whoa, girly!” Josh’s arms tightened around her. “I didn’t know you were going to do this!”

  She ignored him as the half-frozen ground sped by beneath them. Her scarf flew behind her and wisps of her hair escaped her bun. But she didn’t care. She wanted to race like the boys she saw sprinting together at the forest’s edge.

  As the horse’s hooves pounded against the ground flickering up dried grass and leaves, she leaned forward. She was quickly losing herself in the rhythm of the ride as power surged through her. This was why the boys rode so hard, dashing over the land, scaring the cottontails back into their dens. It gave them a power that couldn’t be held back.

  Josh’s strong hands slipped to hers, covering them, taking the reins. His body swayed with hers, as he turned the horse into the direction of his ranch where the cattle were. The old wooden fence sped past them in a blur.

  She closed her eyes and leaned against Josh. His hands still held hers, sending those strange tingles through her. She wanted to stay in his embrace. Stay with him. But even as the thoughts flashed across her mind, Josh pulled on the reins with a slight tug, bringing the horse to a slow trot and then to a stop.

  She opened her eyes and let a full smile cross her face. “I’ve got to do that again.”

  He shook his head chuckling as he slipped from the horse. The absence of his body made her immediately feel cold. He reached for her and once again, they stared into each other's eyes as he lowered her to the ground.

  She fell against him, her hands against his chest. She smiled as she felt his heart pound against her right palm.

  “Miss Felicity, I swear you are a girl who can give a man gray hairs. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy that ride, though. I believe you might give me an adventure I’ll never forget.”

  But it might lead you two on some interesting adventures. Her mother’s words echoed in her mind, further inflaming the hope that burned inside her.

  Eleven

  Josh worried just a bit that this was getting too serious too fast. He figured he probably should step back from her. Put some space between them. This just couldn’t be proper, but as her wisp of a body leaned against his, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her.

  It’d be like denying a thirsty man water, and he was thirsty for her. He wanted to lean down and touch those full lips of hers with his own just to see if they were as sweet as they looked.

  The wind blew her dark tresses across her face, reminding him how the strands streamed behind her, brushing against his face as she urged the horse into a gallop. How could a girl so small, so shy, have so much adventure in her?

  Nick said a wife needed to cook, but at the moment, he didn’t care if she could even shell a pea. He was sure Nick had his priorities mixed up.

  Her lashes fluttered, and she turned to look at the cattle. Her movement hadn’t broken the spell she’d unexpectedly cast over him. She walked over to the fence and leaned her arms over it, her inquisitive eyes studying the herd.

  “There really are fewer now than before.”

  “You heard?”

  “Lana told me she feared for the family.” She looked away quickly. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

  An ache sliced through him. An ache that attacked at his belief that a man was supposed to provide for his family. His family knew what he had been trying to hide from them, and it worried them. Why did so much have to be going wrong when he might have found the girl for him? A woman who might not want to be with him if she knew of the financial troubles he faced.

  He walked over to her and leaned on the fence next to her. The scent of something peppery with a little ginger floated to him. Had she been making her cider? Could those have been some of the spices used in it?

  “What are you going to do?” She looked at him with understanding, not sympathy or fear.

  “I really don’t know. I just know I want to keep my father’s dream alive. He worked so hard to build on what my grandpa started.”

  Felicity lay her mitten-clad hand on his arm, the gentle touch sending tingles through him. “I wish I had some words to give you. But, it’s not my strength. I have no experience to draw on to help you.” Her eyes took on a faraway look.

  “Felicity, I’d like to continue courting you. But you must know the truth. I might not be able to provide a wife with a high standard of living after all this. I know we’re not to the point of getting married, but I want to be honest early.”

  “I think my father would say that a woman only after an easy life isn’t a woman you want to have.”

  He took the hand that was on his arm. “He might be on to something, there. May I court you, Felicity?”

  A shadow passed over her face as she bit her bottom lip. What was wrong? She looked as though something troubled her. A small ripple of tension flowed over him. Was it possible he had read her wrong? That she didn’t want to court him? But she had seen so keen towards him. She’d given him sweet smiles and her cheeks always deepened to crimson when she glanced his way.

  “Felicity?”

  She blinked and turned to him, letting a smile spread across her face. “I’d like that very much, Josh.”

  ***

  A low light from the lantern glowed around her as she knelt on the floor with a wool quilt wrapped around her shivering body. The temperature continued to drop and her room was chilly. She gazed at the old family Bible that lay on the floor in front of her. A few pages were crinkled with use and she noted several phrases were written in the margins in her grandmother’s native tongue.

  If she could only read them and know what Grandma had thought of the passages she’d often read! She believed it would help her to hear the woman’s thoughts. Felicity had found a verse that disturbed her. She remembered it from church.

  “Thou shall not lie.”

  She read the words out loud as she chastised herself for not telling a lick of truth about her lack of cooking skills. And now that lie ate at her like a coyote attacking its prey.

  What should she do? Josh had asked to court her and she’d accepted. Could she let him keep courting her under a falsehood? Especially since the size of his herd made it clear he wouldn't be able to afford a cook.

  Felicity ran her hand reverently over the smooth page. Remembering how they’d talked about anything and everything just so they could keep talking. She wanted to tell him the truth. But she migh
t lose him.

  He’d said he wanted a wife who could cook. A wife who could properly take care of their family providing nourishing and delicious meals. She couldn’t do that. But she’d kept him in the dark about that.

  Her lie had created a bigger issue. If he could somehow get over the fact that she couldn’t cook, it probably wouldn’t matter. But who’d want a wife that couldn’t tell the truth?

  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She finally had a chance with Josh, the boy she had loved since she’d been a little girl. How could she salvage this? There was only one way. She’d just have to learn how to cook.

  Twelve

  Felicity yanked the apron strings around her waist and planted her hands on her hips. She took a deep breath and realized that she’d pulled that apron much too tightly in her fervor. She undid the knot and redid it again, a bit looser this time.

  She had set out some seeds for the robin she knew would show up pecking at the window. She had left some carrots under the bunny’s bush, and at the moment, she couldn’t think of one thing that would possibly distract her. She walked to the cast iron stove, and bent, shoving a few logs in it. She then started a fire, poking it until she had a nice fire blazing defrosting her cheeks.

  She set a cast iron pan on the stove top. As she stood looking at it, her apprehension built. She gave herself a mental shake and continued with her plan. She placed a small lump of lard in the pan just like her mother had told her.

  She turned at the sound of a door opening. Her mother emerged from her bedroom, tying her hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. Her gaze went to the stove and then she raised her brows.

  “Determined, aren’t you?”

  “Josh needs a wife who can cook. And I don’t plan to let him down.”

  “Remember now, you just need to pay attention.”

  Felicity nodded and lifted the large brown egg from the basket. Earlier she had collected them and then tossed some corn kernels to the chickens. She tapped the egg on the side of the pan, split the egg, and then slowly let it drop into the pan.

  She put the shell aside and gripped the spatula as the cold metal chilled her skin. Her mother moved behind her, sorting through bowls and other items. But no matter how much noise she made, Felicity kept her eyes latched onto the pan.

  As the whites of the egg started to firm up, she slid the spatula beneath it and turned it over in the pan. The bottom wasn’t burned! This was a small triumph, but she wasn’t finished yet. She gave it a minute more and yanked the pan off the stove. Sliding the egg onto a plate her mother held out for her, she looked at it critically.

  She held her breath and slightly lifted the edge to look at the bottom. Energy shot through her.

  “I did it!”

  Not one part of the egg’s side was black. In fact, it seemed to be perfectly done. She scooped up a fork, cut off a slice and shoved it in her mouth. Her hand flew to her mouth, and she dropped the fork. The egg burned her tongue almost choking her.

  “Be careful, dear. They’re hot when they first come out.”

  “Now you tell me!”

  “Well, how did it taste?”

  “Kind of boring. Not as good as yours. But not burned, so at least there’s that.”

  “Yes, I should have mentioned that you need to add a bit of salt and pepper.”

  “All right. I can do that with the next ones.”

  “You’ve got eggs down. Now how about biscuits?”

  “But that’ll be too hard. Don’t you think?”

  “You don’t have a lot of time to learn. So, I think you’d better not worry about whether it’s hard or not.”

  Her mother handed her a metal cup and pointed to the bag of flour while laying out the recipe. Felicity glanced at it. She just needed a short break, but she’d better push on. A peck sounded at the window.

  “The robin’s here,” her mother said.

  She turned noticing the red-breasted bird staring at them through the window with his head bent to the side. “I already fed it.”

  Her mother took her hand, squeezing it, a lightness filling her eyes. Nodding her head in approval.

  “Someday you’re going to have a baby, and you’ll need to learn to work with distractions. All right then. Add the flour. Then feed the bird.”

  “I’ve had all my younger years to learn this. Why are you teaching me this now, Mother?”

  “Well, my love, I tried many ways to teach you. You never had any interest. But now I think your life is changing. Your focus is different from what it was before. Now you might just get it.”

  Her mother was right. Cooking had always been her least favorite thing. Felicity scooped up a cupful of flour as the bird continued to make his presence known at the window. Every part of her itched to feed that bird, watching it flutter around out of the corner of her eye. But she kept her mind on her task.

  Pouring the cup of flour fall into the bowl, she leaned down and looked at the next thing in the recipe. She slowly added every ingredient until she was ready to mix. When she looked at her mother, she got an approving smile.

  She turned to the window, looking at the bird. She planted her hands on her hips and shook her head with purpose. “Little cowboy. Not even you will stop me with this.”

  Thirteen

  Josh pulled his horse’s reins, pulling the animal to a stop. Horror and then fear crashed hard against his ribs. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

  Several cows on the outside of the herd lay on the ground, not moving. He slipped from the horse, his feet hitting hard against the ground. He rushed to the fence, and with one swift motion jumped over it.

  The animals lay around the area, all only a few feet from each other. A swarm of flies flew around them as their black eyes stared at him lifelessly. He counted six. He bent over with his hands on his knees. He wasn’t sure if he was going to cry or scream. He would probably do both when it all hit him completely.

  He couldn’t afford this. If these had died, how much longer until the rest joined them? He ran his hands through his hair. There just wasn't enough grass to feed them all. It had been too dry this summer and he hadn’t been able to harvest enough hay for the winter. Now his herd would starve and as far as he knew, there was nothing he could do. Nothing.

  He stared at the dry ground, where only a few patches of grass remained. He ought to just shoot them all, burn their bodies, and find something else to do. He tried to push those bitter thoughts out of his mind, but for now, he couldn’t make them go away.

  But what about his family? How would they support themselves? And how would he ever provide for Felicity? The truth was, he probably wouldn’t be able to. If all he had to think about was himself, this probably wouldn’t be so hard on him. But that wasn’t the case. There was more than his own welfare to consider.

  He had just given Felicity hope for a future together. He’d be a scoundrel to end things now, especially since she’d plainly said she didn’t care if they were wealthy or poor. But she probably hadn’t realized he might be able to give her his hand, but the promise of a home may not be there anymore.

  Nick came up behind him. Josh was startled that he’d been so lost in thought he didn’t even hear his friend ride up. Josh turned, shaking his head.

  “Thought I’d come out and check on things. I heard in town that the Simpson ranch lost more this week.”

  “Really? I hadn’t heard about them, but I guess all the ranchers around these parts are finding dead livestock. Mr. Miller said he lost ten last week, too. I guess I was a fool to think I might make it through this. I can’t survive. I just can’t.”

  “Many won’t be able to.”

  “And to make it a million times worse, I decided I’m going to ask Felicity to marry me.”

  His friend’s mouth dropped open, his eyes widening. He was about to speak, but Josh cut him off.

  “But now I can’t.”

  “Josh, don’t be so hasty. I know there’s something you can do
. Can you partner with one of the other ranches?”

  Josh looked down at the ground, taking a deep breath. “Even if I did that, we probably wouldn’t both be able to survive. We just don’t have enough cattle to support both families and we definitely won’t be able to feed what we have.”

  “But could you at least make it to next year with combined resources?”

  He looked back at Nick. “I don’t think so. I also don’t think anyone would agree to partner with me. We’re going to even lose the house, I think. We had to spend so much on my father’s sickness.”

  “It’s that bad?”

  “That bad. The only thing that would help me now is a miracle.”

  “Then you best get to praying. I’ll be praying, too.”

  Josh waved and watched as his friend rode away over land that used to be rich grassland. Once he disappeared into the horizon, Josh turned, looking at the carcasses. He needed to take care of them after he moved the remaining live cattle farther into the land to a different patch of grass. But first, maybe he should seek out that miracle Nick spoke of.

  He bent to the ground, letting his knees push into the cold dirt. A chill seeped over his body, flowing right into his heart. Pain sliced through him. Pain that reminded him he was on the brink of losing everything he owned and everything he hoped to achieve.

  He had been dreaming up images of quiet nights with Felicity sitting in a rocking chair near him. She would be drawing or knitting as she listened to him tell her about his day. He pictured their life together as they laughed and loved. But those images were slipping away and would continue to with each dead cow.

  Nick was right. He needed a miracle. And he needed it fast.

  He closed his eyes and tipped his face to the sky like he had often seen his father do. “Lord, I know I don’t deserve it, but please, take care of my family. Show me the things I can do to save this ranch. Give me a way to make Felicity my wife. I know she’s the one You have for me. Please.”

  His voice cracked and he waited a long moment lost in reverence. A gentle, yet oddly warm breeze brushed across his face making a sweet peace slip into him. He didn’t know what that peace meant, but he knew there was something quite odd about a warm breeze on the brink of a snow storm.