The Highlander Without a Bride

by Johanna Maas

  Tor and Alec were at the rear of the long line of men as was normal and customary for Alec had always proclaimed he would be the first to enter battle and the last to go home. The large troop approached the Bruce keep and crossed over the lowered drawbridge as the women and children lined the road in the bright and cool sun. Faces were cheerful and joyous as their loved ones stood by waiting as their husbands and sons returned from the ensuing battle. Alec and Tor entered the overflowing courtyard and moved their mounts slowly through the throng of people who stood merrily about. Cries of delight were heard as the family's reunions were exuberantly displayed.

  Understanding much time had passed but forever hopeful, Tor carefully gazed about the square as he intently looked for only one. The face of the dark haired and blue-eyed beauty flashed through his mind, the same vision that warmed his heart each and every night during his dreams. He scanned the area and not finding her anywhere he raised his eyes up upon the steps of the keep as his heart constricted with suspense. He immediately spied Bridget with baby Edward tightly held in her grasp standing next to Cameron and his wife. Although the steps were crowded with other reuniting families there was no dark haired one that could be seen and his heart began to crush with despair.

  Tor's eyes continued to search the grounds fervently, scanning about and with each passing moment of him not spying her, his dying hopes tugged further upon his heart. His pulse thundered within his chest for he still hoped that he was wrong but now suspected and sadly conceded that she was truly gone.

  Tor moved his steed to the bottom step and alighted as he handed his reins to the stable boy who stood near. Slowly, he turned and walked dejectedly up the steps of the keep. He moved silently, staying clear of the reuniting families that remained upon the steps as he moved undetected to the landing above.

  He felt the reality of his life for the very first time and the pain for the true solitude that was his. He understood at that very moment that he was most assuredly alone with no special person that had missed him or special someone glad of his return. For Tor found that he was now a Highlander without a bride. In the past that had never occurred to him that it should matter for his clan were his brothers and his clan was his life. Their warmth and support had been quite enough and had always sufficed. But now…the sadness and lonesomeness tore at his heart and for the first time in his life, he felt the true pain of being alone as the loneliness quite consumed him.

  Tor walked beyond the threshold of the keep and into the empty great hall and closed the door quietly behind him as he effectively muffled the happy reunions from all those in the square. With a sadness, he moved through the great hall and walked up the stairs and down the long hallway to the last place he had seen her and the final location he had left his heart. The chamber door at the end of the hall stood partially open as the light emanated slightly into the hallway from within. He moved forward to stand near as he gazed in through the slender opening. His heart began beating wildly, hoping….

  The room was empty the hearth lay cold and all was quite undisturbed for it appeared its lone occupant was now gone. He moved into the chamber and slowly walked across the way to the bed where he had last seen her. He brushed his hand lightly over the fair colored blanket where her body had last lain. With the tips of his fingers he felt of its softness, wishing she were there once again and yearning for the chance to see her one more time so that he could do it all over again. He realized most sadly that if he had another opportunity he would have been bold and taken a chance and woke her on that night so long ago to speak from his heart.

  He turned slightly from where she had been to look at the table where he had placed his medallion and had left a piece of his heart. He was crushed for the reality of what he found began ripping at his heart. Sitting there upon the table and quite untouched was his family's heirloom. The coin he had left for her that was the symbol of his devotion. It sat there exactly where he had left it, undisturbed and he knew that could only mean one thing. This action by her meant that she had soundly rejected him. In that moment he fully realized that she did not want him and decidedly would not have him.

  He lifted the coin from the small table and rolled it slightly between his fingers as he tried hard to breathe and to remain calm all the while his heart breaking within his chest. He stood for long moments attempting to curtail the thundering emotions within his body until he heard a slight footfall behind him. He quickly slipped the medallion within his pocket and turned as he placed a hard look upon his face in his attempt to remain emotionless on the outside as his misery raged within.

  It was Bridget, followed by Alec who came walking into the room. She simply said forlornly as her eyes gazed sadly upon him, "Kaye left, Tor and went back home with father. They departed that very same day that the battle broke out. They were afraid of the conflict and needed to return home for they wanted and wished to avoid the warring Grants. It truly was the safest decision for them to make."

  All Tor could do was to nod his head in his agreement and understanding as he pursed his lips and fought for the control of his raging heart. For long moments he said nothing as he struggled to maintain his composure as both Bridget and Alec looked at him sadly with understanding.

  After long moments of silence had passed, Tor took a deep breath and asked, "Did she speak to you of anything before she left?"

  Bridget's heart broke for the man standing now before her for she knew exactly of what he was asking. She recognized most assuredly that this man who stood here now before her was not anything like the one she had come to know for she had never seen him act as such. He was obviously affected deeply by Kaye's departure and she could only assume that he had not reached out and spoken to her before he left. Why had he not gained an understanding when it was obvious in her mind that the feelings were more than likely mutual?

  She looked sadly up into his eyes not wishing to prolong what was sure to be his agony any further and simply said, "No, Tor, she left no message."

  With that, he nodded and turned and exited the room as he left Bridget and Alec quite alone in his wake.

  *****

  It was a cold and wintry day just three days after the Bruce clansmen had finally resolved the conflict with the Grants. Father Flannigan entered the gates of the Bruce keep as the evening began to descend upon the land. The blustery winds blew the light snow about and dampened his clothing as it sent certain chills throughout his body. The clergyman moved slowly up the path and into the square upon his small pony escorted by several Bruce clansmen.

  The group dismounted from their horses handing their mounts over to the waiting stable boys as they made their way up the steps to the hall. The chamber was quite noisy as it was filling with the clansmen for their evening sup. The clergyman walked through the large doors and into the warmth of the hall with his teeth chattering and his body quite damp and chilled from the chilly air and blowing snow. The full of the winter season of cold was now upon them with its generous and frequent snowfalls all of which were so reminiscent of the Highlands.

  As he entered the hall, he was greeted warmly by the lord and lady of the keep from across the room who were standing leisurely before the large hearth. Their joyful faces were welcoming as they encouraged him to move forward so that he could partake of the flames and warming his body and drying his clothes.

  When Tor spied the benevolent old man entering the great hall, he moved to join the party for he was quite anxious to hear all he had to say. He set a chair quite close to the large flames for the priest so that he could be quite comfortable and quickly warmed. As the elder sat, the Bruce clansmen looked down at him expectantly as he waited to hear the news of Kaye's fate.

  Father Flannigan began to speak as he looked at Bridget, "Is your sister here?"

  Bridget spoke to him replying, "No, Father, she went back home to England with my family."

  He gazed back at her with a strained and disappointed look upon his face. "I see. I am now not sure what I a
m to do for I had not planned to go to England. And there is much I need to speak to her and council her about."

  The Bruce clansmen looked at Father Flannigan with sadness and fear in their eyes for the news did not sound at all as what they had expected.

  It was Tor who spoke first of the question that was upon all of their minds with a concern clearly written upon his face, "Did the church deny her request for an annulment?"

  The benevolent old man looked back at Tor slightly aghast for he now understood their troubled stares and shocked reaction.

  "No, no, my dear son. I have the paperwork right here with me. I just do not know how or when I can deliver it to her. And the state that she was in when I last saw her was not good. I merely wish to make sure she is alright…for that poor child has been through so much!"

  The Bruce clansmen all breathed a heavy sigh of relief, first acknowledging the full truth for the sadness of her plight but knowing now and for certain that their dear Kaye was considered truly free and could now begin to fully heal.

  Bridget spoke the question that was upon her mind, "Father, does the church insist that you be the one to deliver the missive? Or can it be another?"

  Alec looked sideways at his wife, a furrow crossing his brow unsure as to what she was implying and wondering what type of plan she was concocting.

  The clergyman answered, "Well, I guess the answer would be no I do not have to deliver it on my own, my dear. I just have to trust that it will be safely conveyed to her."

  "Very well, then," Bridget began, "I am most certain that we can find someone who would be willing to make that journey on your behalf…"

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  That evening, when Bridget and Alec were together and alone in their room, she spoke to her husband about the one important matter that was fully upon her mind and the only thing she had thought of since the elderly priest's arrival.

  "Alec, may we speak of the missive that is to be delivered to Kaye?"

  Alec stared fully at his wife as he understood completely what would be coming next for he knew his wife well and comprehended her heart.

  Bridget continued, "I do not wish for her to worry about this overly long and would like to settle her situation quite readily. I do so worry for her state of mind, for she was quite distressed when she left here last. Would it be too dangerous to send one of your men?"

  Alec looked deeply at his wife, knowing exactly what she was suggesting and to whom she was referring.

  "Dear Bridget, this is our family's trouble and not his. I would have to be mindless to not understand that you are referring to Tor. I am not sure I can ask him, nor am I sure if he would agree. And I cannot force this upon him or on anyone."

  Bridget looked sadly at her husband and understood the wisdom in which he spoke but was unsure as to what she would do if Tor refused. She did understand that there was a very good chance that he might for to her knowledge no words had ever been spoken between the two and nothing was clear. It was simply her hope for their end.

  Alec stared at his wife as he did not wish to upset her or want to prolong the inevitable. So he summoned Tor immediately to their chamber.

  When Tor entered he had to only take one look at Lady Bridget and knew exactly what she was about and of what she would ask. It troubled him so for in recent days his heart had been hardened for he knew deep within of her assured rejection. As the most beautiful face of Kaye flashed through his mind and the certain role that he had played in her travesty, he was unsure if he could ever willingly place himself in her proximity again. It was quite clear that she did not want him and had unequivocally refused him by leaving the medallion untouched upon the bedside table. He was not certain if he could make that trip knowing that he would have to face her and know of how she felt. He understood why Kaye would reject him and could not blame her and simply had to come to terms with it. His heart truly saddened for all that she had been through and for what she must think of him.

  Bridget began slowly, "Tor, I know in my head I have not the right to ask you for anything for I recognize that you have no sworn duty to me or to my family."

  She looked at him for long moments and wanted to continue saying, 'But I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do'...but, she did not speak those words aloud and simply continued with, "Will you do me the kindness and take this missive to my sister? For I wish to have her heart relieved and her life finally settled as soon as possible."

  Tor pulled his eyes away from Bridget's and closed them fully as he saw the image of the beautiful one with the sapphire eyes flash before him once again. He pictured her lovely smile, her warm heart and her gentle ways. Just these thoughts of her plagued his senses and completely moved him as if she were here with him in the room. How he wished things had turned out differently. He knew deep inside that he had very little hope that even if he agreed to this journey and saw her once again, that this would change anything for him. If he were to be honest with himself, he perceived no hope at all.

  But one look into Bridget's beseeching eyes and he knew he could not deny her this request and he knew he could not refuse her. Since she had wed his lord and cousin, she had sacrificed so much and shown her full allegiance to the Bruce clan and had earned the respect of them all. She was a brave and strong woman and had united his clan like no other could and he now considered her a part of his family, too. So for that reason alone, he knew he would concede.

  With a pledge to correct a wrong and a distress upon his heart he replied, "Yes, milady, for you I will do as you bid."

  Tor then turned to Alec as he inquired, "As long as it is acceptable with you and what you would wish, milord."

  Alec simply nodded his head as he gave the permission he needed to carry out his task.

  With a sad smile, Tor walked over to Bridget and took the small wrapped parcel within his hands as he nodded his head.

  "Then I will leave upon the morrow."

  With that, Bridget watched as he turned and strode from the room, a small smile upon her lips and a hope growing forever in her heart.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Six weeks after they had finally arrived safely back in England, Kaye stood within her room all alone as she stared out the window at the murky gray clouds over the early morning horizon. The slight snowflakes lazily began to fall as she felt the heavy chill that was present in this dark winter morning. Kaye was completely unaffected by the dazzling sight before her, it going unnoticed for her saddened and emotionless heart consumed her. She had not slept either that night or much of the previous ones as her body rebelled for the nightmares of her past continually plagued her. The tray that had been delivered to her room that previous evening had long since grown cold and was sitting still untouched upon the side table.

  Emotionless, she walked to the small wardrobe and pulled from it her heavy and hooded cloak, fully covering her body as she moved from the room. Down the stairs and beyond the keep she walked and in the direction of the stables. She soon found herself atop of her mare, the only thing in recent weeks that gave her a slight diversion from the pains that wracked her heart and appeased her loneliness. For sitting upon the strong back of her beast she felt a certain freedom as she allowed the wind to whip through her hair and the cool breeze to bite at her cheeks as the snow gently fell around her.

  Kaye moved her horse beyond the keep's walls and out onto the snow covered grasslands. She moved away from her home with no destination in mind just wanting for the open spaces that she craved away from the rigid encumbrances of the keep. As she cantered ahead she found herself moving in the direction of a large and now frozen pond, a place that she used to enjoy as a child on the humid summer days.

  At the frozen water's edge she dismounted and dropped the lead of her horse gently to the ground as she stood staring out over the deep and iced pool before her. The breeze blew harshly through her hair as it whipped her dark tendrils about. The leafless and frosty trees that greatly reached up on the far
side of the water glistened beautifully with their iced limbs showing brilliantly, all of which were fully unappreciated by Kaye.

  Kaye stood quite lost in thought as a hollowness consumed her and the pain pricked cruelly at her heart.

  *****

  Matthew moved into the stables on that cold and blustery morn in search of his steed. As he walked down the aisle that separated the stalls, he noticed that Kaye's horse was not within. A sure and sudden concern flashed through his body for she had been so changed ever since their return and he worried for her melancholy state and for her riding alone.

  This was especially troubling for the weather had turned quite wintry as of late. The snows had grown deeper as the winds blew more harshly then they had in all the years that he could remember. He also knew that Kaye barely ate and it was obvious she was not sleeping well for her skin had taken on a pallid hue and her eyes had sunken further into her face. This was so reminiscent of two years ago when she had made herself sick before her impending marriage to the Scottish Highlander. Matthew, as had all of the family, began to worry greatly for the health and wellness of their dear Kaye.

  He mounted his beast and moved quickly out of the stables and across the drawbridge as he gained the snowy field beyond. Matthew had no understanding of where she would have gone so he began to move quickly across the Devon lands as he looked for fresh tracks in the snow. For a long time he searched moving towards the woodlands on the eastern side of the estate and then on towards the west. As he rounded a bend in the road, he breathed a sigh of relief for in the distance and standing next to the great and now frozen lake stood Kaye.