Diaper Duty Vampire

by R E Mullins

  “When’s he’s old enough to decide on his own you can change him. He’s already a biter, so it won’t be much of a transition for him.”

  “Cody?” Joann smiled in confusion. “He doesn’t bite.”

  “Oh, yeah?” John adjusted her in one arm so he could lift his shirt and let her see the faint purpling around his left nipple. After a moment, he said, sounding amused, “You’re supposed to be looking at the tooth marks, not my chest.”

  “But it’s so, um”—she gulped without raising her eyes—“yum.”

  “Look here.” John pointed, even though his silly grin showed he liked her response. “The little guy’s got a mean set of choppers on him, and knows how to use them.”

  Since he was insistent, Joann peered at the faint row of tiny marks above his areola. “Poor baby,” she whispered and then shocked him by swiping her tongue over the beaded tissue.

  “God, Joann,” John growled, closing his eyes for a moment.

  “Not the time or place?” She smirked. “You’re right. It’s too soon for me to take advantage of you. And well, anyway, I’m sorry my baby hurt you.”

  “You take advantage whenever you want,” John growled softly. “As for Cody taking a bite out of me, you can’t blame him. He didn’t know me and objected to being taken. Nothing else he could do but fight back with what he has.”

  “You sound,” Joann blinked as she tried to name the sentiment. “Proud.”

  John thought it over for a moment before beaming down at her. “You know? I kinda am.”

  “Mama?” Cody came trotting into the room and instantly tried to push his little body between them. When John scooped him up, he leaned over to plant a wet kiss on his mother’s cheek. “Mama. Thon,” he announced in a way that said all was right with his world.

  “The kid does have a way of perfectly summing up a situation.” John put his arms around both of them and simply held them. “I have to tell you”—the emotion in his voice brought tears to Joann’s eyes.—“for the first time since my turning, I feel like I have family again.”

  Chapter Nine

  Christmas Eve. A trio of musicians ran long fingers over gilded harps and coaxed ethereal music from the strings.

  “It’s the perfect date for the nuptials,” John explained to Joann as they entered the beautiful Catholic Church. “Since everything started on Christmas Eve in the first place. That’s when Sabriento tried to stunt Cailey and Gabe rescued her.”

  Joann smiled up at him. “Still, it’s past Mr. Blautsauger’s deadline.”

  After the Blautsaugers returned from Mexico, the whole town got wind of the now infamous two-week time frame, the frustrated father, Andris had dictated for his children’s weddings. The devout Catholic vampire had demanded Gabe, Michaela, Metta, and Rafe marry their partners. Since they wanted to anyway, and their lovers agreed, they decided to make the old vamp happy.

  John lost whatever he was about to say, disconcerted when Joann immediately headed into the very back pew. What was wrong with her? He wanted to sit up front where he could make faces at Rafe. Was she afraid to be in the middle of a congregation of vampires? Hadn’t he proved he’d always protect her?

  Reassuringly, he whispered, “You’re safe here.”

  Her momentarily confused expression quickly smoothed into one of comprehension. “I always sit in the back in case Cody gets disruptive.”

  Simple as that, John thought in relief. He shouldn’t have doubted the bond of trust that was growing fast and strong between them.

  He’d only been in the massive church once before, and the already impressive sanctuary now dazzled his eye as candles illuminated the area with a soft glow. A towering Christmas tree, filled with hundreds of white twinkling fairy lights, dominated the area next to the lectern. Large pots of red and white poinsettias were grouped here and there in stunning displays. Long evergreen garlands, decked with silver ornaments and red velvet bows, framed stained-glass windows while smaller wreaths adorned the end of each pew.

  Cody was eyeing their seat decorations with avarice. John cautioned himself to keep a close eye on him as the tyke was fast and had sticky fingers—in more ways than one.

  The music changed as Father Henry Borkowski, Rabbi Jacob Bauer, Lutheran Reverend Hayden Lieberman, and the Methodist Reverend Dahn Nguyen lined up in front of the altar. Resplendently dressed in the vestments of their particular denominations or faith, they indulgently nodded and beamed at the congregation.

  Not that John knew anything about such things, but Joann had explained that, in accordance with the Catholic canon law, only the priest could officiate. Father Henry had bent the rules a bit in order to have his buddies standing with him, and by allowing them to fulfill secular parts of the service, oversee the nuptials, and offer their personal blessings.

  Looking incredibly dapper, the four tuxedo-clad grooms took their places. John grinned widely at his buddy, Rafe, who looked surprisingly calm. They’d only spoken briefly during the last few weeks. Barely long enough to make sure everyone on both sides was okay, and for Rafe to apologetically issue a wedding invitation. Due to the number of couples getting married, they’d decided to dispense with the rest of the marriage party. John had laughed at that and then thanked his friend for not saddling him with best man responsibilities.

  The only other contact he’d had with the outside world was another brief call to Leto. He’d apprised the Enforcement Officer of what he’d done with Sabriento. Then glad to be relieved of that responsibility too, John had willingly left the traitor’s fate in the Commander’s hands.

  The congregation stood as the music changed again, this time swelling into the overture of the classic Wedding March. The massive doors were ceremoniously opened by grinning ushers, allowing the guests their first view of the brides. Michaela and Metta entered on either side of their father with their hands tucked in the crooks of his arms.

  Joann’s eyes widened, and an involuntary ‘ooh’ escaped her parted lips. John regarded her affectionately. While he was too macho to echo the noise, he mentally agreed with the sentiment. The Blautsauger daughters did make for resplendent brides.

  “Did you notice John Alden sitting with your assistant, Joann?” Andris might have leaned down to whisper in Michaela’s ear, but John heard him plainly enough. As did the other nearby vampires, and he almost fidgeted as curious eyes turned on them. Smiling as they did so, especially after Blautsauger expanded, “If that little lady doesn’t have the position filled already, I might be persuaded to escort her down the aisle. When they’re ready,” he added a beat later, and someone chuckled.

  Then John decided he didn’t care about the speculations of others. They might make an odd family—The vampire Enforcer with one arm curled possessively around a human woman’s shoulder while preventing her human child from overbalancing as he enthusiastically clapped his approval. But they were a unit.

  The music had lowered after the entrance of the Blautsauger brides but now swelled again as the next bridal party entered. Colin Maguire, his round face beaming, glanced first at his biological daughter Morgan, and then at Cailey Kantor, the daughter of his heart.

  After all the brides reached the end of the aisle where their grooms waited, Andris said in a voice thick with emotion. “I am not giving my daughters to you as they are not mine to give. Autonomous in their own right, they have made their own choices, and for some reason, they have chosen you.”

  Then it was Colin’s turn to bring his brides forward where he seemed overcome and unable to speak. The sweet man took a moment to hug and kiss both his girls before addressing Gabe and Rafe. “I already love you boys like sons.” He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his nose. “I know you’ll love my girls with all your hearts. Make them as happy as they’ve always made Aili and me.”

  The Blautsauger brothers answer him with both respect and affection. Then Rabbi Jacob cut the somber mood by suddenly bouncing on his toes, exclaiming, “Such nice people.”

  Sof
tly laughing, the couples began the process of arranging themselves in pairs before the line of ministers. Seth elicited a few snickers when he stepped on his bride’s train after an admirable attempt to avoid tripping over Metta’s gown. The comical faux pas motivated the other grooms into action. Luke, Gabe, and Rafe ingeniously plucked up their brides and plopped them into place.

  Michaela twisted her body so she could see the tread of Seth’s gigantic shoe marring the snowy satin. Her bottom lip trembled. Her groom looked horrified. Then John’s mouth dropped open as the often-cold Michaela Blautsauger made a sound he’d never heard from her before. She giggled. The sound of that lilting and girlish gale was so unexpected and so lighthearted it quickly became contagious. Soon the entire assembly erupted into laughter.

  Seth’s sheepish expression smoothed, and he raised her veil right there and then, and planted a smacking kiss on her curving lips.

  “Now, now, none of that.” Rabbi Jacob’s good-natured rebuke brought the house down. “That’s for later.”

  Once order was restored, Pastor Dahn started the ceremony. “Now I ask each of you: Michaela Maria Katyana Rani Blautsauger, Metta Ania Katia Magdelena Blautsauger, Cailey Ann Roche Kantor, and Morgan Rhiamon Maguire. Have each of you come here of your own free will? With only your love and happiness in mind?”

  “Yes, I have come freely,” each of the she-vamps responded as one, their voices ringing bright with joy.

  Pastor Lieberman, full jowls quivering, lifted his hands in praise. “Wonderful. Now I ask whose blessings accompany you?”

  “The blessings of both families,” Andris said, and Colin added with a smile for Cailey. “Of both the flesh and heart.”

  “Then we may begin.” Father Henry raised his hand to make the invocation of the cross, encompassing all four couples. Reverently bending their heads, the fathers silently left to join their wives.

  “Dearly beloved,” the priest began. “Today we gather, on this gladdest of occasions, to witness the joining of these four extraordinary couples in holy matrimony—”

  He was cut off mid-sentence by a mighty boom, and the massive, Narthex doors fell. The air filled with startled shouts and frightened screams. People were half-rising from their seats or hunkering down between the pews as every eye focused on the back of the sanctuary.

  Joann’s hand tightened on John’s arm as Cody’s little head swiveled toward the sight of the disruption. His childish voice rose in firm censure, “What did you do now?”

  A woman nervously chuckled like so many adults do when overhearing an innocent child reprimanding a grownup.

  The dust began to clear, and a disheveled Vincent Sabriento stood on the fractured wood doors. His crazed eyes darted about. Saliva bubbled in the left corner of his mouth. His long blond hair hung in lank and unkempt strings.

  With a muttered oath, John quickly realized Leto must have sent someone out to retrieve the traitor and that the Enforcer was now probably dead.

  “This”—the traitor held up an object about the size and shape of a cubed tissue box—“is a bomb.”

  Although John doubted the insane-looking vampire had had time to get his hands on an explosive device, he couldn’t risk their lives on an assumption. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his fellow vampires moving to form a living shield around the human guests.

  Metta, in her haste, caught the spike of her high heel in the gauzy overlay of her gown and toppled. Arms wildly flailing, she slammed into Cailey—who was already teetering on mile-high stilettos. Together they crashed into their grooms’ backs, taking all four of them down.

  Seth and Rafe were safeguarding their brides. Andris and Cassiopeia could be seen jumping to their feet. Their momentum caused the pew they’d been sitting on to fall backward. The heavy bench landed right in the laps of the Orcus and Enforcement agents seated behind them and momentarily pinned them.

  As dust continued to settle and pandemonium ensued, John quietly slid Cody over to his mother’s lap and pressed a fleeting but reassuring hand to her shoulder. Quietly, he slipped out the far, side end of the back pew before moving in a half crouch to the back wall. Straightening, he pressed against it.

  Sabriento had only spared a brief glance at the congregants, and seemed to only have eyes for the wedding party. And as long as he kept his focus down the center aisle, John hoped the insane vamp would miss his approach from the side.

  Unfortunately, Cody had taken instant exception to the intruder’s presence and wanted it to be known. “Thit,” his high-pitched baby voice once again broke the charged silence. The word may have been garbled, but it came through loud and clear. “Bad man. Thon get him, Mama.”

  Vincent’s malevolent gaze scraped over mother and child. He bared his fangs and hissed at them, but they weren’t his intended target. Like a heat-seeking missile, his malice went back to the front of the church and landed on Cailey.

  “You bitch.” Spittle flew from his mouth as he screamed at her. “God, I hate you so much. You ruined my life. Because of you, I’ve got nowhere to go.”

  There was a hysterical note of finality inside his words proving he’d gone beyond reason. John could tell he was ready to blow himself up just to make sure they were all destroyed with him. On a maniacal laugh, Sabriento lifted the bomb over his head.

  At that moment, John jumped forward and caught Vincent’s arms. They tumbled to the floor, grappling over the incendiary mechanism. Sabriento fought to get his hand on the firing pin, but John was equally determined to stop him.

  By this time Orcus and Enforcement operatives had them surrounded. There was no way Sabriento could escape alive. John managed to slowly but surely bend Vincent’s fingers back until they popped out of their sockets. When the bastard cried out, John was able to twist the bomb away. Quickly, he handed it off to Donel.

  Yanking the traitor’s hands behind his back, John growled a promise, “This time I’m going to personally escort you to a cell.”

  The trip to the holding facility, however, wouldn’t be needed. As John pulled the vanquished vampire to his feet, Vincent Sabriento’s destiny was determined. A dozen well-aimed stakes plowed into his chest. The last threat to the Blautsaugers, to the Nosferatu of Amber Heights, was neutralized as the traitor died on the spot.

  From that moment, every vampire in the room claimed to have thrown the fatal stake.

  His death mask could never be unseen by any eyes that looked upon it. His eyes were open wide and blankly staring. With his jaws retracted to expose prominently displayed fangs—there was no way to hide what he was.

  John released him and let him drop to the floor even as several ushers hurried forward to remove the body.

  Automatically, John glanced at his Commander and then the council leader for further direction. Cassiopeia Blautsauger, he saw, was looking around at all the human faces in the crowd. Their human guests, happily in the dark about vampires, now had knowledge flickering over their faces. Cass lifted her hands in defeat.

  Sabriento’s actions had just exposed vampirekind to the majority of the residents of Amber Heights.

  Funnily enough, no one seemed to care overly much as Rabbi Baum settled everyone down with his prosaic demeanor and dry wit.

  After calm descended, the priest serenely began again, “Dearly beloved…”

  Chapter Ten

  John and Joann spent the next few months living more together than apart. His happiness grew alongside his sense of belonging. Christmas had been a real family affair, and he smiled every time he visualized their astonished pleasure upon seeing all the gifts he’d put under the tree for them. He wondered if Joann would ever stop giving him grief about spoiling her and Cody.

  It might be too soon, he decided, but he was going to take the risk and ask Joann to marry him.

  Late that day they took a drive to enjoy the signs of Spring. Missouri Dogwoods were in full bloom along with bright yellow forsythia and dark purple crocus. When their meandering course found them near the Stefka place
, they decided to drop in and say, “Hello.”

  ****

  Pleased to see them, Justin donned a light jacket to take them for a stroll around his land. When they passed by a graceful pussy willow, he snapped off a branch loaded with soft, fuzzy buds and held it out to Joann.

  “It’s an old superstition,” he explained as she took it. “My mother used to say it brings good luck to have a sprig of pussy willow in your house at Easter time. May you and John always be so blessed, and may I always count you among my friends.”

  Joann blushed and then smiled happily. “Thank you, Justin.”

  “I’ll always feel blessed”—John dropped to one knee in front of Joann—“If you will do me the honor of marrying me and allowing me to help raise Cody.”

  Justin guessed the proposal had been on his old student’s mind, but he doubted John had meant to pick that precise moment. Rather, perhaps, the time had chosen him, and the words simply popped out of his mouth.

  In the end, all that mattered was that he could see John meant the words with all his heart.

  Fumbling a bit, John pulled a blue velvet ring box from his pocket and opened it to reveal the sparkling diamond inside.

  “Oh.” Joann’s face went slack with shock. “But…what about—”

  “Human or vampire, it doesn’t matter to me. Either way. All I want is for you and Cody to be in my life for as long as you’ll have me.”

  The moment John knelt, Cody tried to scramble up his back. He paused, however, when his mother made an inarticulate sound of surprise and curiously watched them. The moment the tot got a load of the diamond, all of his attention centered on the ring. “Mine,” he firmly announced and stretched out a dirty hand to take it.

  Color rushed back into Joann’s face and it made her skin glow with happiness. “Not this time, buster,” she said to her greedy son as she plucked him off John’s back and set him on his feet. Holding out her left hand to her vampire, she unequivocally stated, “We can share John, but this sparkler is all mine.”