by Luna, David
Fuck.
“Asher, the last thing I’m feeling right now is sorry for you. I’m feeling a lot of things, but not that.” Thornton leaned forward to clasp his hand again. “I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that you’ve been made to feel like you’re not worth someone’s time. If you were mine, you’d never question how much you meant to me. You’d have no doubt that you were the most important person in my life.”
He watched as Asher blushed and played with the napkin on his tray. And when he finally whispered, “That would be really nice,” it was almost too quiet for Thornton to hear.
But he wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t. “I think so, too.”
After a few long moments of charged silence, they both tucked back into their meals. When they were finished, he asked if Asher wanted to get some sleep. “Can we watch something on TV? I sleep better if it’s on. It makes me feel…”
For some reason, Thornton had a feeling what Asher had been about to say was important, so he pressed. “Makes you feel what?”
Asher shook his head, but when Thornton just waited him out, he shrugged. “I guess like I’m less alone.”
God, this precious boy was going to shatter his heart into thousands of pieces. “I’m happy to turn it on if you truly want to watch something. But if you just don’t want to be alone, I’m happy to stay here with you until you fall asleep.”
The shy gaze he got in return melted him. “You don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind at all, Asher. I’d prefer it, actually. I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone when you’re feeling vulnerable.”
Thornton stood and gathered their dishes, taking them out of the room and placing them on the hall table to deal with later. When he went back into the room, Asher was struggling to get off the bed. “I need to use the bathroom and brush my teeth.”
He approached and helped Asher from the bed. “Here, let me help.”
Thornton helped him up and led him to the en suite. “Your toiletries are there on the counter. I’ll be just outside if you need anything.”
Asher blushed but nodded. “Thanks.”
When Asher came back out of the bathroom, he was moving more slowly, and Thornton could see the pain in his eyes. Helping him into the bed, he turned out the lights. They chatted for a few minutes until Asher’s eyelids drooped. “Close your eyes. I’ll stay until you’re asleep, and I’ll leave both bedroom doors open so if you need me in the night, you can call me, okay?”
Asher hummed his assent and snuggled down into the pillows at his back. Thornton stayed long after Asher had fallen asleep, thinking he might just start to believe a bit more in fate than he had in the past. He couldn’t attribute the way they met to anything else. Obviously, he hated that he was responsible for hurting Asher in the first place, and if he could go back in time and do something different, he would, without a doubt. But he couldn’t, and all he could feel was grateful Asher was here with him in his home, trusting Thornton to take care of him.
He’d checked on Asher several times during the night, going so far as waking him up when he’d been moaning a bit in his sleep. He’d settled right back down after taking some more pain meds, and the grateful look in the boy’s eyes had him leaning down, brushing Asher’s hair from his brow, and kissing his forehead. He sat in the chair beside Asher’s bed again until he was sure he’d gone back to sleep.
The dogs wouldn’t leave the boy’s side, and if he and Asher did end up getting involved, he knew Beauty and Beast would treat him like a member of their pack, one they’d protect and be careful of. He couldn’t blame them. Thornton was already in protective mode, and they weren’t even in a relationship. He’d left Asher to sleep in as he’d prepared them breakfast. He couldn’t help but want to see the boy well fed, so he’d pulled out all the stops and made his mom’s stuffed French toast.
He was just about to load breakfast on the tray to take it upstairs when he heard the dogs whining from upstairs. He left the food where it was and walked quickly to the stairs, knowing Beauty and Beast would be doing more than whining if Asher was in any real trouble. What he saw when he got to the bottom of the stairs had him smiling.
Asher was leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs, an exasperated look on his face. “They won’t let me go downstairs.”
Thornton chuckled and headed up the stairs. “They’re feeling protective of you. And I’m glad. I don’t want you to hurt yourself getting up and down the stairs.”
When he reached Asher, he couldn’t help but grin when the boy scowled at him and then the dogs and then back up at him again. “I can’t just be a lazy bed blob for days on end.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I kind of think you’re an adorable bed blob. But I have breakfast for you, if you want to come downstairs to eat. Did you take some meds for your pain?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. How about I help you downstairs?”
He shooed the dogs down the stairs and held out his arm, which Asher took. They started down the stairs, their pace slow. “What are we having for breakfast?”
“My mom’s stuffed French toast.”
Asher’s eyes went wide as saucers, and that grin Thornton was getting used to seeing slid over his features. “That sounds yum.”
Thornton chuckled. “It is yum.”
When he had them both settled with their meals and fresh coffee, he watched as Asher took the first bite. The blissful sigh and little moan Asher let slip as he closed his eyes and chewed had Thornton’s pants tightening as his dick plumped up. God, if he had anything to say about it, he’d make it his life’s mission to get that reaction from Asher as often as possible. And not just with food.
“God, Thornton, that might be the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”
Thornton couldn’t have stopped the chuckle that comment elicited, but the embarrassed blush his laughter brought on had him leaning forward and trailing a finger down the boy’s cheek. “So sweet, that blush. I’m glad you like the food. I like feeding you.”
“You’re quite the chef.”
“Nah. My mom’s the chef. I learned from the best. My whole cooking repertoire is just a result of watching her in the kitchen. If you ever meet her, she’ll most likely end up cooking for you, and then you’ll know my skills are sorely lacking by comparison.”
“What’s your favorite meal of hers?”
“Oh man, that’s a hard one. But her crab-stuffed filet mignon is pretty phenomenal.”
“Mmm, that does sound good.”
“I’ll have her cook it for you someday.”
Asher looked down at his lap and when he looked back up, his eyes were sad, making Thornton’s heart twist. “I don’t think we should talk about a future that might never happen.”
Everything in him wanted to push back against that statement, but he couldn’t blame Asher for wanting to protect himself, especially if he had no confidence in them even remaining friends after he’d recuperated.
Thornton would just have to prove to him that there could be a future between them. “I’ll try to keep your wishes in mind, but I think no matter what, we’ll be friends, so the possibility of you meeting my mom in the future is pretty realistic. All right?”
Asher shrugged as if he wasn’t convinced, moving the food around on his plate.
“Asher?”
The boy’s gaze flicked to his and held. “Yeah?”
“I want you in my life. Whether we can make a relationship between us work remains to be seen, but I know enough about you to know, no matter what, I want you in my life as a friend. Can you trust that much at least?”
When Asher didn’t answer, merely sat in his seat gazing at his food as if it held the answers, Thornton thought he wasn’t going to answer him at all. But when he finally nodded and lifted his gaze, decision made, his small smile went a long way toward easing Thornton’s mind. “Yeah, I can trust that much, at least.”
He hadn’t realized he�
��d been holding his breath, until he finally released it. Thornton watched as Asher finally continued to eat his meal and he did the same. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as they finished eating. He sat back and watched in amusement as Asher surreptitiously took the last two forkfuls of his food and gave one each to the puppies. And then busied himself with wiping his hands and drinking the last of his coffee, as if nothing was amiss.
And as his heart did a little flip in his chest, cementing his decision to pursue this boy with single-minded determination, he tried to figure out what obstacles he had to remove in order to be able to do that. Because suddenly, it wasn’t something he wanted to think about working towards in the future. It was something he wanted to work towards immediately. And he knew he had to address a situation he hadn’t even had time to deal with yet. “There is something that I need to be honest with you about, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way and think it’s more important than it is.”
He saw the deep breath Asher tried to draw in, the pained look in his eyes as a result, and the straightening of his spine as he geared himself up for what was to come. “Okay.”
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and reached for Asher’s hand. “I’ve been dating a man off and on for several weeks. We’ve both agreed it’s run its course. I just don’t want you thinking I’m trying to hide anything from you. We had plans to get together one last time…”
His voice drifted off when he saw Asher’s shoulders sag, but before he could reassure him, Asher asked, “When?”
He was happy Asher wanted to know when it would officially be over. He hoped that meant he was interested in Thornton enough he didn’t want him seeing anyone else. “Tomorrow. I’m going to call and cancel today. I just wanted to be honest wi—”
The doorbell rang unexpectedly, prompting him to get up. “Let me get that, and we can finish talking, all right?”
He squeezed Asher’s shoulder as he passed by to answer the door. When he pulled it open, expecting to have to sign for a delivery of some sort, he found his arms full of an exuberant Jimmy.
“Hi, Daddy! I know we don’t have play time until tomorrow, and it’s kind of our last playdate really, but I got out of class early, and you’re so close to campus. I thought I’d stop by because I know you work from home on Fridays so I thought maybe today would be better for you, or we could have two or something. I don’t know. Look, I brought treats!”
Jimmy held a white paper bag aloft and shook it a little. He couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s enthusiasm, regardless of the fact this was going to be quite the conversation later with Asher. He wasn’t upset Jimmy had stopped by and would treat him as he normally would because the boy was already in little mode, and taking him out of that headspace too quickly wasn’t something he’d ever do. He didn’t want to make him feel vulnerable and like he’d done something wrong. He ushered Jimmy inside and closed the door as he continued to talk a mile a minute.
“I got a good grade on the paper you helped me with, and I just got so excited. I know I’m not supposed to have a lot of treats, but when I walked by the candy shop, I could smell the fresh fudge, and I just couldn’t help myself. Can you take a chocolate break? Everyone should take a chocolate break once in a while, right? I mean, it’s chocolate. I… Oh…”
Thornton sighed, bracing himself for the inevitable, and turned towards the hallway that led to the kitchen, a sheepish smile on his face. The shock in Asher’s eyes reminded Thornton just how sheltered the boy really was. Thornton had known that when Asher had asked if Thornton had kids the night before. He knew his particular kink wasn’t exactly mainstream, so he was doubly sure Asher’s mind was reeling.
“I was going to call you this afternoon to cancel our playdate tomorrow. I have a—”
“—new boy?” Jimmy’s eyes were alight, and he smiled at Thornton, making his heart twist that the lovely, sweet boy before him hadn’t been the one. Jimmy fairly skipped across the room and held his hand out to Asher, who did the same more out of reflex than anything. “Hi! You must be Daddy’s—oops, sorry. You must be Thornton’s new boy. I’m Jimmy. Oh, ouch! Your head looks like it hurts. Are you okay? I bet Daddy’s taking good care of you. He’s the best, isn’t he?”
“Jimmy, this is my houseguest Asher.”
Jimmy’s eyes popped comically wide, and Thornton could see him slipping out of little space into his adult headspace as he tried to backpedal. “Oh, um.” He turned his body fully towards Thornton, a horrified expression on his face, and mouthed, I’m so sorry!
Thornton chuckled and ran a hand up and down Jimmy’s arm to reassure him. “It’s all right. We were just talking about you. I mentioned tomorrow was our last date and that I was going to call today and cancel. Asher and I are getting to know each other, and I wanted to be sure—”
“—nothing stood in your way.” Jimmy smiled in understanding and nodded, turning back towards Asher. “I’m sorry to burst in on you like this. It was spur of the moment. I’ll get out of your hair. It was nice to meet you, Asher. Thornton’s a great guy. He’ll be really good to you.”
Thornton smiled and wrapped his hand around the back of Jimmy’s head, pulling him into his chest. He kissed Jimmy on the head and hugged him tight, hoping his actions were enough to relieve the boy of any guilt for coming over unannounced. “I’m sorry to cancel.”
Jimmy reached up and touched his face, just a gentle caress. “Don’t be sorry. I hope things work out. Be happy, Thorn.”
Charmed by the sweetness of him, he rubbed Jimmy’s shoulders. “You too, Jimmy.”
He wrapped an arm around the boy and led him to the front door. Jimmy pulled away for a second and rushed towards Asher, who jumped at Jimmy’s quick movement. “Here.” He handed over his bag of fudge, and Thornton was about to protest, but Jimmy continued, “I always want sweets when I’m in pain. I hope they help.”
He turned and patted Thornton on the chest, reaching up on his tippy-toes to kiss his cheek and whisper, “Good luck. You got this, Daddy Thorn.”
And then the boy was flitting across the room and out the front door before Thornton could say or do anything further, the door closing behind Jimmy with a soft click of finality. He turned his gaze back to Asher and grew concerned when Asher cast his gaze about as if looking for something. When his gaze latched onto the seating area in the living room, Thornton wanted to steer him towards the family room where the couch was much more comfortable.
Thornton held his hand out, and Asher took it, leading them to the family room. When he settled Asher on the sofa and flicked on the fire, Asher gazed down at the bag of fudge in his lap, the paper crinkling in his hand. He opened his mouth as if he was about to speak but shut it quickly, obviously unsure of himself.
Thornton was about to say something, but Asher finally found his voice, flushing with embarrassment. “Jesus. That’s… that’s what Madi meant?” Asher’s face turned an even brighter red. “Oh my god, and I asked you if you had kids. Oh, for Pete’s sake.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known. That’s not something most people would assume, Asher.”
Asher covered his face with his hands and shook his head at himself but finally met his gaze, confusion etching lines between his brows. “I don’t know what that… Is that what…? I don’t understand, Thornton.”
Thornton approached the skittish boy, pulled the large coffee table away from the sofa a bit, and then sat on it in front of him, but not so close he’d crowd him. “It’s a lot to take in. I know that. I wanted to talk with you about it after we’d gotten to know each other a bit better.”
“But… Was he, I don’t even know, he seemed… Was he playacting? Is it some kind of game, or…?”
“No. It’s not a game, and it’s not acting. Not… well, not like you think. It’s age regression, what some call age play, but sometimes the word play makes it sound trivial when it’s not. Not for people in the lifes
tyle, anyway.”
“The lifestyle.” Those words, whispered, didn’t sound disgusted, so Thornton had to take heart in that. But Asher’s grip tightened on the bag, and it crinkled even more.
Thornton winced at the state of the fudge and gently pulled it from the boy’s hands, setting it on the table beside him. “It’s… wow, this is hard to explain when you’ve been blindsided like you just were. Your friend Madi was right when she called me a Daddy. Although I have a feeling she didn’t mean it quite that literally.”
Asher’s snort had Thornton smiling. “I’m part of the BDSM and kink lifestyle, Asher. So are Syed and Damon.”
A lightbulb went on for Asher at that. “Sir.”
Thornton nodded. “Yes. Syed is Damon’s Dom, and Damon is Syed’s sub. It’s not the same as being a Daddy, but the power exchange is similar in a lot of ways. Damon cedes control to Syed, and Syed ensures Damon’s needs are met. In that way, it’s similar.”
“So, you control Jimmy?”
“No. I’m not technically a Dom, not in the strictest sense of the word anyway, but I am dominant. I didn’t control Jimmy, I cared for him. When we spent time together, Jimmy gave me the gift of his submission more in the form of being a caretaker or Daddy to his little self. Does that make sense?”
Asher’s bewildered gaze let him see he wasn’t quite there yet. “I don’t know. Why would he want to do that?”
“There are many reasons people like to regress. Jimmy is a pretty carefree guy, and he doesn’t stress over much, but he has the need to let go occasionally. To sink into the role of a much younger boy. He liked to forget about what he calls ‘adulting’ for a while and play in his little headspace. To let the mantle of his adult self fall away.”
“It just seems strange, I guess. Why do it?”
“For Jimmy, it allowed him to step out of his world and let anything that had bothered him since we last played float away so I could take care of him and his needs without the burdens of having to make decisions or be in charge of anything.”