I slyly walk to the table that had the food spread out on it and quietly make myself a plate. When I turn around from the table to go sit down, all eyes were on me. My hands start sweating and shaking as I try and figure out what I am doing wrong. Was I not supposed to get food yet? Is my dress not on right? Is there tissue on my shoe? What do I do? What do I do?
To my relief, Mrs.Callahan walks over to my side and puts her hand on my shoulder.
“Ryan are you ok; you look like a deer caught in the headlights,” she asks while taking my wobbly plate with one hand, and putting her other arm around my shoulder.
“Well when I turned around and saw everyone looking at me, I started getting nervous and thinking that I did something wrong,” I whisper not really even looking up at her.
“Oh don’t look so shy baby; everyone was looking at you because you looked like an angel when you walked in the room. You’re so beautiful,” she says.
I look up at her in amazement. No one has ever really told me that before. I mean my brother did, but that doesn’t count. He has to tell me that because he is my brother.
“No I’m not Mrs. Callahan. Its the dress,” I laugh nervously.
She turned me around to face her and said, “You are a beautiful woman, and any man would be brought to his knees if he got to wake up next to you every morning.”
I flush and put my head down at what she said; and she leads me over to the table and sits me down. After she puts my plate down in front of me she goes and sits down next to her husband.
“So Miss Ryan, how are you doing today,” Mr. Callahan asks?
“I’m good,” I mumble as I take a bite of potato salad.
“Are you sure? Your usually so smiley at the office,” Patrick says from across the table.
I peek up and say, “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you. Just a little tired; that’s all.”
I could see him grinning from ear to ear, looking right at my breast. That makes me feel uncomfortable, because I’ve never thought of him in a sexual way. I shrunk into myself and away from the table.
“Patrick leave the girl alone. Don’t you see she doesn’t want you hawk-eyeing her,” Ryan says glaring at his brother.
I didn’t even notice that he was sitting right next to me. I turn his way and face him. He is staring down at me, and his eyes look heavy and dark. It sends chills down my spine.
Patrick was saying something in response to what Ryan said, but when he answered saying whatever. He didn’t even look over at him.
“You look amazing in that dress.”
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
He smiles and leans down into me and says, “Oh don’t be shy. You weren’t so shy earlier.”
Then his puts his hand on my thigh, slowly drawing my dress up until his fingers are touching my bare leg.
I had to stifle a gasp when his long thick fingers grabbed my thigh.
“What are you doing,” I almost moan.
He grins triumphantly and walks his fingers farther up my thigh. I feel so weak right now. But I really don’t care because his hand feels so good.
“I couldn’t help but think about how damn silky these thighs must feel, when I saw you walk into the room. I had to touch them,” he says dragging his hand up my thigh in circular motions; getting dangerously close to my wetness.
“Oh and baby, when I saw how plump your breast looked in this dress, I had to keep myself from running over there to you and sucking one of them between my lips,” he says and skims his finger over the top of my wet panties.
“Ryan,” I moan, forgetting where we were.
“If you follow me, I will show you exactly what I was talking about,” he says in my ear.
He nibbles on my earlobe then sits back in his seat, waiting on me to respond.
When I didn’t say a word and just sat there with my mouth open, he got up out of his seat and without turning around says, “Are you coming?”
“Who,” everyone else at the table said at the same time.
Ryan turns around and looks straight at me and says, “I’m talking to Sunshine.”
Then he walks out of the room. There a few oohs and what the heck is going on’s; but I knew what he meant. I want to go to him, but I just didn’t want everyone to know what’s going on. His hands feel so damn good that I just can’t seem to care too much. So I get up out of my chair and go the way he went. On my way out the room, I see Patrick grinning with a knowing look. Mr. and Mrs. Callahan both smiling at each other, and Killian looking around not knowing what the hell was going on with food stuffed in his mouth.
As I round the corner I run right into Ryan’s hard chest.
“I thought I was going to have to come back in there and get you,” his deep voice says.
I jump and brace myself by putting a hand on his chest. He feels so hard underneath me. I let my hands feel their way around his chest and arms. When I start to go lower, he stops me and says, “Lets go in here.”
Then he grabs my hand and leads he into the room that I got dressed in and locks the door.
“Now where were we,” he says as he slowly popped each button of his shirt open.
Placing my hand on his chest when he was done. But I snatched my hand back like it had been burned when I felt how warm he was.
“Don’t tell me that your getting shy all of the sudden,” he says stalking towards me; and I slowly walk backwards at his advance.
The back of my knees bump into the bed, and I fall back onto it. My right breast fell out of my dress as I hit the bed.
“Damn,” Ryan groans and climbs on the bed with me, kneeling over top of me.
His legs straddling mine.
“Would you be mad if I tasted you,” he says, but didn’t wait for a reply.
He just leaned down and licked my exposed nipple.
“Oooh,” I cry.
“Um,” he grunts and he continues on and licks and sucks my nipple until it perks up in his mouth.
“I don’t think I’d ever get enough of this sweet chocolate pearl.”
His hand caresses its way up my thighs, grabbing a hold of my bottom.
He rocks back on his hands, and looks at me with wide eyes.
“Do you have on thongs,” he asks in a husky voice.
Oh shoot. I instantly flush up and curl up, covering my breast with my hands.
“Yes, thats all I could find in that cabinet,” I say pointing in the closet.
“Is that right,” he says rubbing on my booty.
“Can I see them,” he asks?
I nod my head yes, and he pats my butt. I lift up and he pulls my dress up and over my head. My hands immediately cover my breasts again.
“Ryan, Please I don’t think I should be doing this,” I say, suddenly feeling so self-conscience as the cool air hit my skin.
I’m laying here in nothing but a thong up under a man I barely even know. What is wrong with me?
“I have to go. I can’t...I shouldn’t,” I say and get up off the bed and grab for my dress.
He takes a hold of my hand and stops my retreat.
“Don’t go. You look so amazing. I’ve never seen a woman as beautiful as you,” he says pulling me back to him.
He quickly takes my breast into his mouth again.
My head snaps back and I let out a low cry. How could this feel so good? I dig my hands into his hair, holding his face to my chest. He slides his hand to my other breast and rolls my nipple in his fingers. He positions himself between my thighs. They relax and open for him. He pushes himself onto my center. My eyes go wide at the thickness of him on me. I suddenly get worried. He is too big. I shouldn’t be doing this. He doesn’t even love me.
“Your so big,” I gasp.
He looks at me and is about to reply when we are interrupted by a knocking on the door.
Knock Knock Knock
“Sorry to bother you guys, but Ryan I need to talk to you,” someone says through the door.
“Killian, go away,”
Ryan says as he continues to play with my nipples.
“Ryan, I don’t think you understand. Rachel is here with her mother.”
“Oh shit. You have to get up and get out of here,” he says jumping up from on top of me and hurriedly starts putting his clothes back on.
I’m still shocked at all that is transpiring, so I‘m still laying down on the bed with my mouth hanging open. When he finishes and sees me still laying in the same spot, he shouts at me.
“Get up, now!”
I jump up and in a flash I threw my dress back on and run into the bathroom and lock the door; tears streaming down my face. How could I be so stupid. I was about to let this man take my virginity. Oh how stupid I am. I knew this would happen. I knew a sexy man like him would have a girlfriend, and he would never take a woman like me seriously. I sit down on the toilet and cry for what seemed like hours. When I was spent and I cried all the tears I could cry, I got up off the toilet and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a sad sad puppy. My hair was all over the place. My eyes were red and my face was tear streaked. I looked like a fool.
I quickly throw some water on my face, gathered up my hair into a messy bun. Cute, but it didn’t really matter. I took a couple deep breaths to steady myself, grab my bag then walk out the bedroom; heading straight for my car. I don’t look around because I don’t want to see Ryan and I don’t want him to see me. I really don’t want to see anyone else either. I just want to get out of here. I feel too stupid to face anyone. As I am carefully making my way to the door and opening it, I hear a group of people laughing. Even though I didn’t want to I turn to the voices, I did. When I did I saw Ryan and his whole family standing with and talking to two ladies. One was young and breathtakingly beautiful. She looked like a movie star or something. She had on a red summer type dress that came to her knees. Her hair was as blond as the sun on a bright summer morning. She was simply magnificent. The other woman that was there had to be her mother. She looked just like her only a little older.
Oh how stupid I was. I would never be enough for a man like him.
The young woman laugh and placed her hand on Ryan’s arm. I stiffen. I want to run over there and pull her off of my Ryan.
Wait? My Ryan. Get ahold of yourself. That man just yelled at you and tossed you to the side to get to this woman. He is not your Ryan. He obviously is her Ryan; and he was only using me for sex.
That will never happen again, I try and convince myself as I step through the door only to be halted by none other than Mrs. Callahan.
“Ryan Sweetheart, where are you going. I want you to meet someone,” she says coming over to my side.
Oh no. I can’t. I can’t do this. I don’t want to see Ryan and his girlfriend all hugged up with each other. I know I couldn’t look at either of them without crying like a big baby.
“I need to get going Mrs. Callahan. Can you tell everyone I said hello,” I say and try to keep going out the door.
“This will only take one minute,” she says as she pulls me over into the dining room where everyone else is at.
“Rachel Darling, this is Ryan. She works at the office with us. And Ryan this is Rachel’s mother Lilly,” she says waving Rachel and her mother out.
I peek up at the two of them and she tightens her iron grip on Ryan’s arm; placing her other hand on his chest as if to say bitch this is my man. Her mom is standing next to her with a flighty grin on her face.
“Oh hello Miss Ryan. How lovely to meet you,” Rachel says.
“You too,” I say.
Then I say the same to her mother then quickly turn to Mrs. Callahan before anyone could see the look on my face.
“Mrs. Callahan, I have to get going now. Thank you so much for an amazing afternoon. You have always been such a joy for me,” I say, kissing her cheek then quickly leaving out of the room and house before anyone could say or ask anything.
I hear them talking amongst themselves. I faintly hear someone saying Ryan wait. But I don’t stop. I run to my car and get in.
When I turn it over, it makes a weird noise but doesn’t start. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Not now please.
“Come on baby, please start. Please,” I plead with my thousand year old beater, hoping and praying that she will start.
When I try her again and she doesn’t start, the tears start falling again. I have to get out of here before anyone, especially Ryan comes out here and sees me. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I pop the hood and hop out my car to look underneath the hood. Immediately smoke billows from my baby.
Damn it, she is overheating again. At least I hope that is what it is. I scurry to the back of my car, get the 2 gallon jug of water I have back there for just such occasion; and lug in up to the front of the car. After taking the lid off and carefully pouring the water into my thirsty radiator, I climb back into my car and pray that it starts. It doesn’t do anything but tick for a few seconds and make a loud noise, before it completely gave out.
Boom!
Then copious amounts of smoke starts coming from the car, a lot more then before. I quickly hop out the car again to see under the hood. I started to freak out when I see that it wasn’t stopping.
Oh no what am I going to do, I think as I start fanning the smoke with my hands.
“Ryan get away from the car now,” someone is yelling from behind me.
I turn and look to see every one of the Callahan men running out of the house towards me. Mrs. Callahan and the other two ladies were standing at the door with their hands covering their mouths.
I don’t know what the big deal is; its just smoke. Shrugging them off, I turn back around to the car only to be confronted with a face full of smoke; and searing heat.
“Nooo,” all the guys scream as I fall backwards on the ground, hitting my tailbone hard on the ground beneath me; as well as my hands getting all scraped up when I put them down to brace myself.
“Are you ok,” a frantic Ryan says as he kneels beside me to help me up.
I look at his outstretched hand and am about to take it, when I hear I shrilling voice from behind him saying, “Ryan baby is she ok.”
I glance up and see Rachel walking over to us. I quickly snatch my hand back and use my own bloodied hands to get up off of the ground. I could see in his face that he wanted to help me up, but didn’t. I wonder why. Maybe its the fact that your beautiful girlfriend is standing right next to you clutching your arm. You pig!
Everyone else that was outside, gathered around me, checking me out.
“Oh baby, your face looks like it might be burned,” Mrs. Callahan says.
“What about the car,” I say suddenly realizing that I totally forgot about my car, while I was stupidly swooning over Ryan once again.
“The guys put it out with a fire extinguisher while your were on the ground,” she says and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
The closeness of her and I was all I needed for the floodgates to burst open and for me to start crying. I clutched her like she was my mother and I was a kid who fell off a swing and skinned my knees up. I needed soothed and she was who was there to do it. I cried all the years of hurt I felt when my father left us. I cried at how hard it was to take care of the shell of a woman my mom became after he left. I cried from when she couldn’t bare being without him anymore and killed herself. I cried because I happened to be the one to come home first that day and find her in the bathtub all cut up and bloody. And I am crying now for how hurt I feel for giving that most special part of myself to Ryan and him using me. He never intended on getting close to me other than having sex with me. I should have known. Everyone in my life leaves me. Why would he be any different?
I must have collapsed on the ground and didn’t know it because I feel two strong arms gathering me up off of the ground, and walking me back into the house and to the room I had used earlier.
“Take her into the bathroom so I can have a proper look at her,” I hear Mrs. Callahan say to whoever was holding me.
I’d like to think that it was Ryan but I don’t think that his girlfriend would allow it.
When I was being taken into the bathroom I could see that it in fact was Ryan that was holding me. I begin to struggle with him and cry even more.
“Please just put me down I feel stupid enough already,” I say.
He didn’t let me go until he placed me down on the toilet seat.
“I’ll be right outside waiting for you when mom is done looking you over,” Ryan said then kisses my forehead.
“Why? Do you want to make me feel like an idiot again,” I cry.
He flinches when I say that and sweetly says, “No Honey, I want to explain things to you.”
“No you don’t have to explain anything to me.”
Before he could say anything else, his mom walked into the bathroom with what looked like a first aid kit.
She eyed the two of us before Ryan walked out of the room. I know he is going to be waiting for me when she is done with me. I just don’t know what to say to him. I’m too embarrassed at what happened between us. Well not really at what happened but what happened when he damn near threw me out of the room, while I was sprawled out on the bed all naked for him. I feel so stupid for giving myself to him.
“Ryan it will be ok,” Mrs. Callahan says as she wipes the dirt and grime off of my face with a warm wet wash cloth.
“No it won’t. I’m so stupid,” I cry clutching my hands together.
But I quickly drop them to my lap. I forgot they were cut up. It feels like there are rocks or something in them.
“I’ll look at them when I’m done cleaning your face off.”
I nod and sit there as she finishes cleaning to dirt and grime off of my face.
“So what is this about you thinking your stupid,” she says in a nonchalant way while she rinsed out the wash cloth and gently wiped my face more.
I want to answer her, but she’s his mother. I would feel so weird talking to her about her son like that.
“I don’t know its not that big a deal,” I say trying to shrug it off, hoping she doesn’t ask me anything else about it.
Ryan's Love Page 3