When You're Back

by Abbi Glines

  I wanted that for all kids. It was heartbreaking to know that not everyone would get that kind of support in their lives or be told that nothing was wrong with them. Knowing they were capable of so much would do wonders for their self-esteem. “Your dad sounds like a very special man,” I said sincerely.

  Henry nodded. “He is. He’s the best.”

  Once again, no mention of his mother.

  It was time for me to admit to Henry that I had dyslexia, too. Sharing this with people wasn’t something I ever did. It was hard on me, but this little boy was going to share his story with the world. He was proud of what he could do while dealing with this challenge. There was no shame in being dyslexic.

  “Henry,” I said, and he looked up at me as he chewed his food. “I have dyslexia, too.”

  His little eyes went wide, and then a huge grin broke across his face. “I knew you were special,” he replied. “Just like me.”

  Those words sank into my heart, and I knew they’d stay there forever.

  Mase

  It was well past lunchtime before Kiro came stumbling into the entertainment room, where I was sitting with Dean while he played on the Xbox. I had threatened to wake Kiro up several times, but each time, Dean shook his head and warned me I would just make things worse.

  When Kiro’s bleary, bloodshot eyes saw me, he stopped. “Fuck,” he muttered, then walked toward the bar. That was my cue to stand up and do something.

  “I’m here to talk, Kiro. I’d prefer to do that with you sober.”

  He tried to shove me aside, but he was too hungover and weak. I didn’t budge. “My fucking house, boy. Move out of my way!” he yelled.

  I didn’t flinch. “Well, Harlow is my sister, and you upsetting her, stressing her out, and making her cry is my fucking business. So sit your sorry ass down and listen to me.”

  Just like I knew he would, he snapped out of his stupor at the sound of Harlow’s name. “What’s wrong with my baby girl?” he asked, running a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up even more.

  “She’s worried about you. She loves you. And you’re upsetting her by acting this way. Think about her heart, Kiro. We don’t want something happening to her because you can’t get your shit together.”

  He shook his head. “No, nothing can happen to my baby girl. I need her. Can’t lose her,” he said, sounding like a broken man instead of the angry drunk who had walked in here.

  “Then snap out of this. Get your head on straight. Is this the way Emily would want you to behave? Would this make her happy?”

  “Don’t talk about my Emmy!” he roared, this time shoving me back with more force. “You don’t understand what this is! You don’t fucking understand. My heart.” He stopped, tilted his head back, and looked up at the sky. “She stole my heart. That pretty angel face. So innocent and sweet. She’ll always have it. My life with her was perfect.” He turned his haunted gaze back to me. “Perfect! So fucking perfect! But it ended. I ended. And if I lose all I have left of her, I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t take this pain.”

  His eyes weren’t those of the rock legend who appeared on the covers of magazines looking like he owned the world. He didn’t have that swagger that defined him. Not now. He was shredded.

  Kiro Manning was gone. In his place was a man who was about to become untethered from this earth. If he’d been a good father to me, if I loved him the way Harlow did, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand here and take this. My chest tightened in pain for a man I had spent most of my life questioning if he gave a shit about me.

  “Harlow needs you. Lila Kate needs a grandfather,” I said simply, reminding him that if Emily was lost, his whole world wasn’t gone. “If something happens to you, Harlow will be crushed. That girl adores you. Could you really do that to her? Can’t you find the will to survive this and be the father she needs?”

  Kiro stumbled back and leaned against the sofa, holding his head in both hands. “She’s fading away. I don’t know if I can make it without her. I love my baby girl. We both love our baby girl. She’s grown up to be a beautiful woman and mother. I’m so proud of her. I’ve given her nothing to be proud of.”

  I would have liked to agree with him, but I knew Harlow wouldn’t agree. So I spoke for my sister, who didn’t have the ability to handle this herself. “You’re wrong. She’s proud of you. She’s always been proud of you. And when she found out that you stayed by her mother’s side through all this, it rocked her. She knows you love her mother. She’s seen it, and that makes her even more proud of you. She saw a side of you she never knew existed. We all did.”

  Kiro rubbed his face and gave a frustrated roar before letting his hands fall to his side. “Did Dean call you? I don’t need this shit right now, son. Why can’t I deal with this the only way I know how?”

  His way of dealing was getting trashed and upsetting Harlow. “Your way affects my sister, so that affects me. Dean didn’t call me. Rush paid me a visit. Grant was worried about his wife. He’ll protect Harlow any way he can. Surely you can understand that? Your little girl is loved just as fiercely as you love Emily.”

  At the sound of Emily’s name, Kiro flinched as if it pained him. “What is it you want me to do? Be fucking Superman? I’m not motherfucking Superman! I’ve never been. Can’t start now just because you come in here demanding it.”

  Kiro had tunnel vision. He was hurting, and that was all the man could see. He was losing Emily, and he could accept nothing more. I wanted to grab the man and shake him. Instead, I clenched my hands at my sides and took a deep breath to calm my frustration. “Do you want Harlow to lose you both? Do you think she can handle that? Do you want her brokenhearted? Don’t you want to be a part of your granddaughter’s life? Here’s your chance to be the man Emily would have wanted you to be. You and I both know you weren’t the father she would have wanted for Harlow. You can’t save her, but you can grant her the one thing we both know she’d want. She would want you to be the best damn grandfather on the planet for Lila Kate.”

  “I’m the best grandfather on the planet. He’ll have to be second,” Dean spoke up as he kept playing on the Xbox.

  Seriously? Did the man not realize this conversation was important?

  “Fuck off, asshole,” Kiro grumbled.

  “Just setting him straight,” Dean replied.

  A hint of a smile touched Kiro’s lips. “I want to make Emily proud. She loves Lila Kate. She brightens up whenever Harlow brings her to visit. If she could, she’d be the fucking best grandmother there ever was.”

  “I won’t argue with you on that one. Emily was special,” Dean said.

  “Is special,” Kiro snapped. “She is fucking special.”

  Dean tossed down the remote control and turned to look at Kiro. “She is special, Kiro. But we both know she’s not the same. The Emily who left the day of the accident didn’t return the same. She’s been locked in that body, unable to function, for twenty-three years. You’ve held on to her longer than any doctor believed possible. To want to keep her here like that is selfish, man. I miss her, too. She made you a better man. That man was lost twenty-three years ago, too. The boy is right. You can’t save her. But you can damn well make her proud of you. Don’t you want her to be thankful that she had a life with you? Of course you do! You would do anything for that woman. Do this for her. Fucking do this. For. Her.”

  I didn’t need to say more. Dean had said it all. Perfectly. He’d lived in a world where my father had loved a woman and been happy. He knew things I didn’t. Seeing Kiro through Dean’s eyes was enlightening.

  “She’d want me to be strong. She’d expect it,” Kiro said, staring at the floor in front of him.

  Neither of us said a thing. We let him take it all in. Dean had stood up from his spot on the sofa, and we looked at each other over Kiro’s bent head. We both wanted our message to get through to him.

  “I want there to be a heaven. I want it for her. She should be dancing and laughing. She has
the best laugh. I want there to be a place where she can have all that. Tell me that when this life ends, it’s not over, that she has a new life ahead of her, full of all she was robbed of in this one.”

  I swallowed through the emotion constricting my throat. God, I never wanted to go through this. Kiro had been an asshole most of my life, but no one deserved to deal with pain this intense.

  Dean walked over and threw his arm over Kiro’s shoulder. “There’s a heaven, man. There has to be a heaven for angels. And Emily was an angel. She was yours. It ain’t over after this life.”

  Kiro closed his eyes and nodded. “You’re right. My angel will be OK. She’ll dance again.”

  Dean glanced over at me and nodded. Kiro was going to make it. He had a hard road still ahead, but he was now focused on making Emily proud of him. That was the only thing that could shake him out of this. He never wanted to let her down.

  Reese

  I was tucked into bed and holding my phone in my hand, waiting for Mase to call, when it finally rang and the image of his cowboy boots showed up on my screen.

  “Hey,” I said, sitting up, excited to hear his voice. When he got home, I was going to tell him about my picnic with Henry and Captain; it would be too hard to explain over the phone.

  “Hey, baby. I’m heading home in the morning. I spent the day with Kiro. We had a breakthrough this afternoon once he finally got out of bed, but he’s so volatile. I decided to stay and make sure he was good. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too. I’m glad things are better with him. Was it hard?” I wished more than once today that I could be there with him.

  “It wasn’t easy, but I think I understand him better now. He’ll never be my dad. I have one of those. But I felt something today I’ve never felt for the man before. Compassion.”

  Mase was a compassionate man. I couldn’t imagine how awful his father had to have been to not get any compassion from his own son. I knew he hadn’t spent much time around him growing up, but still. “Then the trip helped you, too,” I said.

  “Yeah, I think it did,” he agreed. “But I want to be home with you.”

  “I want that, too.”

  “Are things OK there? The job still good?”

  “Yes. The job is great, and I’ve been fine here. I ate dinner with your parents tonight.”

  “Good. I love you, and before you say you love me more, that’s not possible.”

  Smiling, I tucked the covers under my chin. “I don’t think so.”

  He chuckled. “I’ll be on a plane first thing in the morning. Expect a lunch guest.”

  A sick knot settled in my stomach, reminding me of my other lunch guest who always popped up. I would have to tell Mase about all that when he got home. I wanted to keep my job, but I also didn’t want Mase in the dark about anything.

  “I’ll look forward to it,” I told him. “Love you.”

  Once we hung up, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if Mase would react badly to Captain showing up at my office regularly with lunch. He hadn’t done anything wrong, really, but would I be OK with a woman bringing Mase lunch and eating with him? No. The answer was no way. I’d be jealous.

  I had to tell Mase. There was no question.

  By ten in the morning, I was getting anxious. I was ready to see Mase. It had only been a few days, but every time the office door opened, my heart sped up. Then Piper would be there, and I’d smile and pretend I wasn’t completely disappointed. He had said he’d be back by lunch.

  Two more hours until lunch.

  Just as I picked up the phone to return some calls, the door opened. Before I could get excited, Captain’s face appeared, and my face fell. Not who I was hoping to see.

  “Don’t look so heartbroken. I’m not that ugly,” he said with a smirk.

  I didn’t respond to that. Instead, I used my most professional tone. “What can I help you with?”

  Captain cocked an eyebrow as he sat in the leather chair across from me. Not where I wanted him to sit. I wanted him to tell me what he needed and leave. Fast.

  “Do you get to leave for lunch today?” he asked, leaning back and crossing his right ankle over his left knee like he was getting comfortable.

  “No,” was my clipped response.

  He looked amused. “I thought we called a truce. We were going to be friends. You aren’t acting very friendly.”

  I had never said I was going to be his friend. “I agreed to work with you. I didn’t say I’d go out to eat with you.”

  “You liked the picnic yesterday,” he reminded me.

  “I liked Henry,” I corrected him.

  He nodded as if he already knew that. “I knew you would. He’s a great kid.”

  I also got why he had brought Henry to meet me. It had been a nice thing to do. I appreciated it, but I still felt wrong about having anything other than a working relationship with him. Something about the way he looked at me made me feel he wanted more. I didn’t care what he said.

  “Why don’t you drive?” he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  “Because I haven’t been able to read and write until recently. Couldn’t take the driver’s test.”

  He reached into his back pocket, pulled out two thin books, and leaned over to place them on the table. One was a driver’s handbook for the state of Texas. The other was a permit handbook. “You can read now. Read these.”

  I reached for them. I had meant to get these. The idea scared me, but now that they were here on my desk, it wasn’t that terrifying. Captain had gotten them for me before I had even told him why I didn’t drive. Why did he have to do such nice things for me?

  “I don’t expect a thank you. Just read them. You can pass the test, Reese. I know you can.”

  He didn’t expect a thank you. I stared down at the books in front of me. I wasn’t sure what to say. He was going out of his way to help me. He didn’t need to be thinking about me. He didn’t need to help me. But he was, and I wasn’t sure how to stop that.

  “Thank you,” I said, because he did deserve that. “I’ve been meaning to pick these up.”

  He nodded. “Good. I’m glad you’re ready to take another step in that direction.”

  I’d started to say something when the door opened, and I looked up to see Mase’s face. My heart leaped at the sight of him, but as his gaze swung to Captain, I went from giddy to sick to my stomach.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked as he stepped into the room, filling it up with his presence.

  Captain dropped his propped-up foot to the floor and stood up. He was at eye level with Mase. “Came to drop something off for Reese,” Captain said, as if he wasn’t bothered at all.

  “Doesn’t look like that,” Mase snarled. He swung his gaze to me. “He bothering you?”

  This was a trick question. If I said no, then Mase would think something that wasn’t true. But as I glanced down at the handbooks on my desk, I knew I couldn’t very well throw Captain under the bus.

  “Mase, it’s OK. He was dropping off some handbooks he thought I might need. Nothing more,” I explained.

  I shot Captain a quick glance, and he looked surprised that I hadn’t said he was bothering me. Mase was frowning—at me or my response, I wasn’t sure.

  “Does he visit you often to bring you things he thinks you need?” Mase asked, his voice holding a warning. He wasn’t happy, and this was not the way I wanted to explain my relationship with Captain to him.

  “I just bring her lunch a couple of times a week,” Captain said.

  The fire that lit in Mase’s eyes didn’t bode well. Why had he said that? “You do what?” he asked slowly as he turned his glare to Captain.

  “I have to bring her paperwork to file, and I sometimes bring her food, too. Better than those damn turkey sandwiches she eats.”

  Mase stood so still I was afraid of what he would do next. “I think it’s time you leave,” he said in a hard, clipped tone.

  Captain glanced
at me. “Guess it is,” he replied, and winked at me. He freaking winked at me before walking past Mase with a smirk on his face. I wanted to kill him.

  Mase turned to me. He just stared at me silently for several moments, and I started to open my mouth to explain several times, but nothing came out.

  “You didn’t think that telling me another man brought you lunch was important? Or that he visits you so often?”

  I had been planning to tell him. Tonight. I had planned it all out. “I wasn’t . . . I was . . . I didn’t . . .”

  He held up his hand to stop me. “Never mind. I’m not listening to this. I just went through some emotional shit, and I don’t need this right now. I need a fucking break,” he said, then turned and stormed out of my office.

  I stood there, watching the door slam behind him as tears spilled free and ran down my face. What had I done?

  Mase

  My heart was pounding in my ears as I stalked from my truck down to the stables. What the fuck had I just walked in on? Was I overreacting? I’d given Reese a chance to explain herself, and she’d stammered. She hadn’t been able to explain. She had almost seemed to be defending that asshole.

  Did I trust her? Yes! I never had a reason not to. She was my Reese. She was so damn sweet. How the fuck did this happen? What was wrong with that motherfucker that he thought it was OK to bring her lunch? He knew she was taken. What was the purpose behind it?

  He wanted what was mine. I picked up a saddle, slung it against the wall, and shouted a string of curses. This was not what I had wanted to come home to. I should be kissing Reese and holding her close so I could smell her. But she’d been hiding something. I could see it in her eyes.

  Fuck me. Was I that blind? Did I assume because I had found her lost and broken that she would never want to explore more? Had I just been a way for her to heal? Was she curious about others? I felt sick as I even thought about it. I didn’t want her to be fucking curious about other men.