Coming Unglued
Page 18
Joy turned her back to them and spoke into the phone. “Hi, honey, it’s me. The girls and I are going to Clay’s Diner for lunch, and I wondered if you could join us. Darin and Jamison are there as well.” She waited a beat. “All right. I’ll see you there.”
“Joy, you have got to be the most proper person I know,” Kendra said as they made their way to the front of the store.
Joy tossed her shining hair. “There is nothing wrong with good manners, Kendra.”
“Oh, I agree.” They pushed out the door of the shop into the rain. “But the day I say ‘all right then’ to Darin, somebody call me on it, okay?”
They walked to where the awning ended and looked out at a cascade of raindrops falling between their corner and the opposite one, where Clay’s Diner was situated.
“We’re going to get soaked.”
“And I just left my umbrella back at Sarah’s,” Kendra whined.
“Why do people avoid the rain?”
At Meg’s question, the sisters turned to look at her.
“Um, because they don’t want to get wet?” Tandy’s forehead creased. “What kind of question is that?”
“It’s an honest one. Think about it. None of us has anywhere to go after this. We can walk right out there, get soaked to our bones, and it won’t matter a hill of beans.”
“Except we’d look like drowned rats.” Joy was scandalized. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking we don’t spend enough time embracing life.” With that, Meg stepped out into the rain. “Come on. Remember when we did this as little girls?” She held her hands out, palms up, catching rain drops as she twirled in a circle on the concrete. “Who needs sunshine when you’ve got rain?”
Kendra looked at Tandy and Joy, whose faces reflected her own incredulity at Meg’s behavior.
“I’m siiiiingin’ in the rain,” Meg sang at the top of her voice. “Come on, girls! Let’s be crazy again—just for a few minutes.”
She did look like she was having fun. Kendra shared a look with Tandy and saw her sister had gone into consideration mode as well. Why not? How often did the opportunity to play in the rain with her sisters come up these days?
Kendra stepped a hesitant toe out into the deluge and felt a fat rain drop hit her toe. Cold. She stuck her hand out, watching the drops pummel her hand. They were big splatters, falling with a satisfying plunk. That’d feel good on her face. Before she knew it, Kendra had walked right out into the weather, tilted her face up, and stuck out her tongue.
“That’s my girl!” Meg cheered. “Come on, y’all. You’re missing all the fun!”
Tandy looked at Joy, shrugged her shoulders, and jumped into the nearest puddle.
Kendra laughed hard, loving the cleansing feel of rain on her face. Why didn’t they do this all the time? “Come on, Joy! You can clean up afterwards!”
“You three are going to be struck by lightning any moment. Momma taught us enough sense to come in out of the rain.”
“She also taught us to enjoy the time we’re given on this earth,” Kendra countered. “Come on!” She held out her hand, dripping with water, to Joy.
Joy stared at it, then started untucking her shirt. “I can’t believe the things I allow you girls to talk me into. I’m wearing a white shirt, for goodness’ sakes!”
“If I know you, though, you’ve got a camisole on underneath it and a bra underneath that. Nobody’s gonna see anything they shouldn’t.”
Joy frowned at her, then stuffed her purse under her shirt. “All right, but I’m not ruining a perfectly good purse.”
“Fair enough.”
Kendra closed her hand around Joy’s and pulled her into the rainfall.
Pretty soon all four sisters were twirling around, hopping in puddles, laughing themselves silly. Kendra took the sound of their laughter deep into her soul, tucking it away to remember later.
The cold, cold raindrops pounded her head and shoulders, and she laughed.
Car and truck horns honked at them, and she laughed.
Joy’s purse fell out of her shirt into a puddle, and she laughed.
Clay came out the door of the diner and asked what in the world they were doing, and she laughed.
She laughed and laughed and remembered how good it felt.
* * *
TEN MINUTES LATER a shivering group of Sinclair sisters huddled with their men in the back booth at Clay’s Diner. “What’s the air-conditioning set on in this place?” Kendra hugged herself. “Arctic?”
“It feels colder than it is because you’re wet.” Darin’s mock correction made her smile. “Which is another reason people do not play out in the rain.”
“Oh, don’t fuss.” Meg eyed the menu. “We were having fun.”
Kendra pressed her arm against Darin’s, enjoying his warmth. “Yeah, but all good things must come to an end, right?”
Meg snapped the menu closed. “Only if you let them.”
“What is it with you today?” Tandy sipped on the Diet Mountain Dew Clay had placed in front of her a minute ago, promising to return soon with burgers for all of them. “You’re nuts but not usually this nuts.”
Meg ducked her head and avoided their eyes. “Nothing is with me. I wanted to embrace the moment. Sue me.”
Kendra shared a look with Tandy and Joy, silently agreeing to let it drop for now but committing to pick it up again later.
“You’ll be happy to know,” Jamison said, “I managed to get a picture of you guys acting like goofballs.”
Meg’s eyes snapped up. “You did? That’s great!”
“I did. You left the film camera in the car, and when I saw you four out there, I thought two words.”
“Blackmail photos,” Scott said, and Jamison pointed a finger at him.
“Exactly. The next time the kids want to run out in the rain and play, guess who’s going to let them?”
Meg slumped in her seat. “That’d be me.”
Jamison grinned, eyes twinkling. “Yep.”
Joy peered at Jamison. “You’re not serious, are you? You aren’t intending to allow your children to play in the rain amid lightning and thunder?”
“What lightning?” Jamison gestured out the window. “The only thing out there is a whole bunch of raindrops.”
“So long as you’re not putting my nieces and nephew in danger.”
“Thank you, parent police,” Meg said. “We’ll try not to kill our kids so we can stay in your good graces.”
“Fine.”
Scott put his arm around Joy and squeezed. “Relax, hon. I’m certain Savannah, Hannah, and James will make it through childhood—rain dances and all.”
Joy leaned into her husband. “I know. I’m sorry, Meg. I don’t mean to judge you. It just feels like everybody but us has kids, and half the people who have them either don’t want them or don’t appreciate them.”
“Whoa, sister, I love my kids.”
“I know you do.” Joy met Meg’s eyes. “I know. I’m just touchy, is all.”
Kendra took a drink of her Diet Dr. Pepper. “Have you guys talked to a doctor? Found out what might be making this take so long?”
Joy shoved away from her husband. “No. Scott thinks we don’t need a medical opinion.”
Uh-oh. Stepped right into that one. Kendra smiled at Scott. “Never mind. Not my business.”
Scott returned the smile, but Kendra noticed the sadness didn’t leave his eyes. “Not a problem. We’ll figure it out.”
Joy crossed her arms over her chest and sat back. “Yeah, when I’m ninety years old and have no eggs left, Scott will figure out we’re not going to get pregnant without a little help.”
“So, how ’bout them Packers?” Overly bright tones filled Jamison’s voice. “I hear they’re going to have a pretty good year.”
“You know, I heard that same thing.” Darin leaned into the table. “Got a good defensive line this year.”
The men entered into a detailed analysis of the defensive players for the G
reen Bay Packers, and Kendra turned to Joy. “Don’t worry, Joy. If we have to hog-tie him ourselves and drag him to the doctor’s office, we’ll help you get this done.”
Meg and Tandy bobbed their heads.
“We’re with you on this, sis,” Tandy said.
And Kendra watched her mannerly sister sniff.
Seventeen
Kendra paused on her walk from the car to the church door Sunday morning and took in the beautiful blue of a Southern autumn sky. No trace of Saturday’s raindrops lingered, their cleansing purpose complete in the resplendent sky today.
Kendra resumed her steps, grateful for the flat shoes she’d chosen that morning to go with her multicolored caftan. Dreams of Joy running around her house yelling, “Where’s my baby?” had kept her awake for too much of the night. Kendra frowned and made a mental note to ask Daddy to talk to Jamison about going to the doctor. If a physical problem prevented them from getting pregnant, Joy needed to know sooner rather than later.
She climbed the stairs to the old wooden front doors that looked the same today as they had the past twenty-some years. Walking into the foyer, Kendra breathed in the familiar scent of Murphy’s Oil Soap and rosewater perfume. Comforted and welcomed, Kendra moseyed through the sanctuary to the Sunday school rooms at the back. She hadn’t been to church early enough for Sunday school since the accident, but the last Joy dream had ended at about six, and there was no use going back to sleep.
She stopped outside the door to the Grace Seekers class and took a breath. Let it go.
Pushing open the door, ten faces turned her way and she smiled.
“Hi, Kendra.” Jerry welcomed her from his place behind the lectern. “Good to see you.”
Kendra hoped her smile wasn’t as tight as it felt. She sat down in a folding chair by the door.
The class continued taking prayer requests. Kendra read through the list of praises and requests on the whiteboard at the front of the room. Looked like the Smithson’s adoption of a Guatemalan boy was almost complete. Barbara and Stacey were celebrating their ten-year wedding anniversary. Misty had a trip planned to South Carolina that week and had asked for traveling mercies. The youth group would be conducting their kickoff event that week and were asking for prayer for a good turnout. Kendra was surprised when she saw her own name at the bottom of the “healing” list.
“Anyone else have something to add?” Jerry’s glance swept the room. “Anyone feel led to pray on behalf of the class?”
“I will,” Stacey said and, everyone bowed their heads to pray.
Kendra bowed her head as well, realizing she hadn’t done that a lot in recent months. Hard to talk to a God whose commandments you were openly breaking.
“Amen.” Stacey finished the prayer, and Kendra raised her face.
“Today we’re going to talk about consistency. Being the same person at work and home that we are on Sunday morning.”
Kendra tuned out to open her Bible and read the Scripture focus of the day. She was the same messed-up woman regardless of the day of the week. And if anybody were to take a close look at her life, they’d know the truth of that thought.
She read Scripture as Jerry taught about the value of living a life that glorified Christ regardless of the circumstances we face. Kendra agreed with that. She could be at her apartment painting or sculpting instead of sitting here, being told things she already knew.
“I see a lot of you nodding, and I’m wondering, if all of us Christians agree that we should walk what we talk, why do we have so many godly folks doing the most ungodly things?”
Kendra’s head snapped up.
“Hypocrisy’s always been a problem in the church,” Cam said.
“That’s true.” Jerry came out from behind the lectern. “But why? Is it just ’cause people don’t really believe, that they weren’t saved in the first place?” He looked around the room, but no one ventured a guess.
Jerry continued. “I don’t think that’s it. I look at people like Jimmy Swaggart and Sandi Patty and Michael English, and I see people who had great ministries for Christ. I don’t think they were preaching something they didn’t believe. I think they got caught in a web of sin.”
“But that makes it sound like they didn’t have a choice.” Brent was frowning. “We have a choice whether or not to do wrong.”
“That’s right,” Jerry said. “We always have free will, and we can walk away from temptation. But sometimes we don’t have our guard up, and we get blindsided. Still our fault for not seeing it coming, but it changes the picture a bit, doesn’t it?”
Kendra lost her place in her reading and looked up. “What do you mean, blindsided?”
“I mean the Bible says that the devil plots against us. Think about it. He hates that we love and accept Jesus, and he wants nothing more than to see us fall, to see our witness for Christ ruined. So he plots. He starts with little white lies in your life. They seem harmless enough, right? Then maybe he brings a friend to you. A friend of the opposite sex, and that seems harmless, too. After all, friendship is good, right?
“And then you start talking about things with this friend that he really should be talking about with his wife or that she should be talking about with her husband. But by that point you’re friends, and you don’t want not to be a friend anymore, so you have the conversations. And pretty soon you find yourself smack in the middle of an affair, looking around, wondering how in the world you got to this big sin when all you did was tell a little white lie about a year ago.”
Kendra went cold. Jerry always had a knack for teaching on topics that touched her life. It happened a lot. So she wasn’t worried that he or anybody else in this room was accusing her personally. But Kendra couldn’t deny the truth of his words. Now that she thought about it, it fit her relationship with Harrison well. Too well. She’d been singing, and there he sat. They’d talked about nothing that first night—the weather, their love of music, harmless things. But within a few weeks they were talking about more intimate topics, topics he should only discuss with his wife.
Even worse, just like Jerry had said, she excused it because Harrison was a friend by that point. She’d dismissed the tiny voice inside that warned her off. She told herself she was being a prude and a bad friend if she didn’t help Harrison through this tough time in his marriage. She’d even let herself think that God brought Harrison into her life so that he would have someone to talk to about his bad marriage.
Kendra sat back in her chair, Jerry’s voice fading into the background as her mind whirled. If all that was from the devil, not God …
Had she been deceived so completely?
The class stood for the closing prayer, and Kendra followed suit, in a daze. After the amen Kendra walked out the door behind Barbara and Stacey. She retraced her earlier steps, ending up in the sanctuary.
“Earth to Kendra.” Tandy snapped her fingers and Kendra blinked.
“Sorry.” She sat down in their pew.
“You look like somebody just decked you with a two-byfour. What’s up?”
Kendra turned to her sister. “Have you ever wondered why Christians still commit the big sins?”
“There are no big sins, Kendra. You know that. All sin is equal.”
Kendra shook her head. “That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about when Christians in the public eye are caught in an affair or drugs or something. You ever wonder how they got to that point?”
Tandy squinted her eyes. “Can’t say as I have. Why? You know of somebody doing something?”
Kendra turned and watched her daddy walk to the pulpit. “No, of course not. Jerry brought it up in Sunday school, and it got me to thinking, is all.”
“You were here for Sunday school?”
“Yes, Tandy. I’m not a complete hellion.”
“Excuse me.” Tandy pretended offense.
Kendra relented. “I was up anyway, thought I might as well get a shower and come early.”
“You were up?”
Tandy’s humor faded. “I’m not laughing about that. Good grief, Kendra, of course I’m not laughing about that. I was just picturing you running all over a hospital, jerking open doors and interrogating people about the whereabouts of a nonexistent child.”
Kendra smiled. “I was pretty good, actually.”
Tandy pressed her lips together as the organ sounded. “I’m sure you were.”
“You’re still laughing.”
“Only on the inside.”
Kendra pulled a hymnal from the rack in front of her and turned to the first song of the worship service. “You are an evil, evil woman.”
“Yeah, I should be shot.”
The sisters grinned while they sang “When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder,” and Daddy looked on, no doubt wondering what shenanigans his girls were up to now.
Kendra elbowed Tandy. “Look at Daddy. We better straighten up, or he’s going to separate us.”
That sent Tandy into another fit of giggles, which was fortunately covered up by the congregation’s enthusiastic singing.
“Hey, where are Meg and Joy?”
“Meg’s home with a sick Savannah. I have no idea where Joy and Scott are.”
“Savannah’s sick? Nothing bad, I hope. Isn’t her birthday party next weekend?”
“Yes. Meg said it’s just a cold, but she didn’t want to give it to the rest of the kids in the nursery, so she kept them all home.”
“Mighty nice of her.”
“Think about it. If all the kids are sick, they can’t come to Savannah’s party.”
“Ah, light shines in the darkness.”
“Just call me incandescent.”
They giggled again, and Daddy’s look changed from mild disapproval to stern glaring.
“Uh-oh. Better chill.” Kendra held her hymnal up high to hide her face from Daddy.
They went through several verses of “I’ll Fly Away” and “Sweet, Sweet Spirit” before taking their seats.