Coming Unglued

by Rebeca Seitz

  “I’m sorry for not telling you about Harrison. For seeing him while we were together.” She rushed on, words tumbling faster than she could think them through. “For seeing him at all after I knew he was married. For not being the woman you deserve me to be. For doing anything to remind you of the hell your ex-wife brought you. For hurting you like this. For everything. I’m so sorry, Darin. For everything.”

  His jaw worked, and his fingers were white from his grip on the door frame. “That all?”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s not. I’ve got lots more. I can beg. I’d love the chance to beg, really. I need you to know how sorry I am and that I’m not your ex.”

  “Funny, you sure sound like her.”

  His words hit so hard she actually touched her face to see if he’d slapped her. “Darin, please. I can’t undo it, but you have to know I would if I could. And I’ll never do anything like this again. I’ve talked to his wife.”

  “You what?” Darin’s eyes came to her. “What did you say?”

  Could it be … ? Was this her saving grace? “I talked to Lorena. I told her.”

  “Why would you do that? What, there’s not enough hurt going around, you thought you needed to spread some more?”

  “No, of course not. She already suspected. You heard her that night at Joe’s. I just told her what she already knew. I let her know she wasn’t paranoid but that her husband wasn’t sleeping with somebody else, only talking.”

  “Only talking.” He nodded. “Yeah, that makes it okay.”

  “It doesn’t make it okay. That’s not what I’m saying.” She stumbled to a halt and regrouped. “Darin, I’m sorry. For all of it. I’m sorry, and I’m asking you to forgive me.”

  He looked at her for a long moment. She held his eyes, hoping he’d see in hers how changed she had been these last few days. Trying to say with her gaze what her mouth had done so poorly.

  “I forgive you, Kendra.”

  Hope blossomed in her heart, and she started to smile.

  “But that doesn’t mean I want you back.”

  He shut the door in her face and she blinked. What just happened? He forgives me? Then why am I on this side of the door?

  He forgives me?

  She shook her head to clear it. Now what? Getting Darin’s forgiveness but not his return to her life didn’t seem possible. But that’s exactly what he offered. It’s the only thing he’d offered.

  She looked at the door. Considered knocking. What could she say, though, that she hadn’t already?

  Maybe Clay knew Darin better than she did. Maybe she needed to wait.

  Kendra turned and plodded back down the steps, trying to figure out her next move. He forgave her. Well, at least that was a step in the right direction. All she had to do now was remind him why they were good together. Why he couldn’t live without her. Why his life would be wrong without her in it.

  Kendra glanced back at Darin’s windows, but the blinds were closed. Fine. If he wanted to stay closed off for a while longer, she’d let him. But sooner or later he’d have to come back out in the world. And when he did, she fully intended to be there.

  She drove to the Sisters, Ink offices, not quite ready to return to her colorless apartment. Two buildings down the lights from Clay’s spilled out into the street. Kendra turned her steps in their direction and walked.

  Relief washed over her when she saw Daddy and Zelda sitting at a table by one of the windows. She hurried across College Street and into the diner.

  Daddy looked up and waved a greeting. She waved back, weaving through the tables until she got to their booth.

  Daddy stood and hugged her. “Hey, Ken. Tandy told me the call didn’t go too well.”

  Kendra looked at Zelda. “Daddy. Perhaps we shouldn’t blab my business to everybody within hearing distance?”

  Zelda smiled and pursed her lips. “Your secret is more than safe with me, dear.”

  Kendra considered getting angry, but enough problems already existed in her life for her to borrow this one as well.

  “Had dinner yet?” Daddy gestured to the booth. “We haven’t ordered yet. You’re welcome to join us.”

  “You sure?” The prospect of eating with Daddy, even if she had to talk to Zelda during the meal, sounded so much better than dinner alone.

  “Sure he’s sure.” Zelda scooted to the far side of her seat. “Have a seat and tell us the latest.”

  Kendra gave in and plopped down beside the redhead. “Thanks. Not much to tell. Tandy told you Lorena balked. Darin just shut his door in my face. All around, I’d say things are going downhill and setting land-speed records in the process.”

  “Oh, honey. Darin won’t forgive you?”

  “No, he forgave me. He just doesn’t want me.”

  “What kind of man doesn’t want my daughter?” Daddy sat up straight. “I think I need to have me a talk with this boy.”

  “Now, Jack, don’t go meddling in their business,” Zelda said, and Kendra gratefully shut her mouth. “Kendra and Darin will figure this out on their own.”

  “Doesn’t seem to me like they’re doing too good a job of it so far, if he’s shutting his door in her face.”

  “Jack, the man is hurting. There’s no accounting for his actions right now, and you know that. Stop thinking with your daddy heart and go get us some Cokes.” She shooed him out of the booth. “Go on now.”

  To Kendra’s surprise, Daddy obediently left the booth and headed to the counter. “Wow, I’m impressed.”

  “With that?” Zelda waved her turquoise-ringed fingers in the air. “That’s nothing. Wait until I’m ready to order.” She grinned at Kendra, who reassessed the woman’s hold on her daddy. “Don’t go looking at me like that, now. I’m not the enemy. Your daddy needs a woman to help him out every now and then. He’s been a bit lost since your momma went home to the Lord, and he likes me pretending to boss him here and there. But make no mistake, he does what he wants, when he wants, same as I suspect he always has.”

  “Man, you’ve really got his number.” Kendra looked at her with approval. “Just how much time have you two been spending together?”

  Zelda smiled and tilted toward her. “Enough for me to know your daddy is a fine man with a heart of gold.”

  “Well, shoot, you knew that in the first two minutes.”

  Zelda leaned back and laughed. “That I did, Kendra. That I did.”

  Daddy came back with their drinks, and Kendra took a long swig of her Diet Dr. Pepper.

  “So if I’m not calling the boy and talking some sense into his head, tell me your grand plan for fixing this, Zel.”

  “I don’t have one yet.” Zelda cocked one eyebrow at Kendra. “But give me a few minutes.”

  “Take your time,” Kendra returned. “I’ve got all night.”

  * * *

  FRIDAY MORNING’S OVERCAST sky was perfect for her mood, Kendra decided. Though a nice, loud thunderstorm would be even better.

  She parked the RAV4 behind the Sisters, Ink offices and went inside. Her lime green watch showed eight, which gave her a whole two hours to work on membership issues until going over to Sarah’s for her final fitting.

  She booted up her computer and waited while e-mails poured in. “Shoot, I’ve got to start coming in here more often,” she mumbled, watching the e-mail count hit triple digits. As Sisters, Ink grew, so did the demand on her to keep up. The Darin Debacle, as she’d taken to calling it in her mind, was not good for her work focus.

  The counter finally crawled to a stop, and she moved the mouse to the top line. E-mail by e-mail, she kept up a steady rhythm. Input a new member. Send a welcome e-mail. Read a member’s suggestion. E-mail Tandy with the idea. Read a member request. Decide if it merited discussion. Send to Tandy, Joy, and Meg for further review. Check the forums and discussion board stats for traffic. Approve pictures for the gallery.

  By the time she looked at the clock, almost two hours had passed, and if she didn’t leave right now, she’
d be late for the fitting. She closed her in-box and dashed for the front door.

  The sky outside hung heavy with pent-up rain, and she kept an eye on the incoming clouds while she stepped next door to the shop.

  “Hi, Sarah. Tandy here?”

  Sarah looked up from the register. “She’s in the back with your sisters.”

  “I’m the last one?” Kendra picked up her pace. “Fabulous.”

  Sarah smiled her understanding and went back to a stack of receipts.

  Kendra entered the dressing room to find Joy and Meg standing before the mirror in their pale gold dresses and Tandy sitting in the corner. “Hey, y’all. Sorry I’m late.”

  Meg looked even more like a goddess now, no puckers or folds of fabric anywhere. The hemline of her dress just brushed the floor as she turned. “You’re not late. We’re early. I couldn’t wait to wear this dress again.”

  “Then I’m glad we found them,” Tandy said.

  “I think that’s the first endorsement of a bridesmaid dress I’ve ever heard.” Joy smoothed the front of her dress, though it already lay perfectly across her flat abdomen. “Though I’ll agree, these dresses are beautiful.”

  “Are you kidding? This is the first time I’ve felt like a female since I had James.”

  “But that was six years ago!” Kendra’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

  “Yep.” Meg pivoted and preened in front of the mirror. “When you have kids, everything goes south, and that body you thought looked hideous in high school suddenly seems like perfection when compared to the stretch marks and sagging skin.”

  “You make pregnancy sound so awful,” Joy said.

  “No, it’s not awful. What it does to your body, though,” Meg patted her stomach, “is pretty awful.”

  “Meg, stop scaring the rest of us off parenthood.” Tandy crossed her legs. “You just don’t like that pretty soon you’re going to have some grandkid competition. Admit it.”

  “Grandkid competition?” Kendra looked at Joy. “Are you … ?”

  “No.” Joy hung her head and smoothed her abdomen again. “Not yet. Still trying.”

  “You dope, I’m talking about me and Clay,” Tandy said, and Kendra turned to her.

  “You’re planning on having kids that fast?”

  Tandy shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe not right away, but in a year or so, yeah. I think Meg here would prefer we wait until her kids are married, though.”

  Meg shook her head. “Please. I think it’s great you and Joy are going to have kids soon. I’m just saying, think long and hard before you go praying for stretch marks, heartburn, and labor pains.”

  Kendra went to her fitting room and put on her gold dress, leaving her sisters to bicker about parenthood. At the rate she was going, she’d be fifty before she walked down the aisle, much less considered pregnancy.

  She donned the gold gown and went out to join Meg and Tandy. “Here we are, your chosen three. Still love this dress?”

  Meg put her hands together over her heart. “Oh, please, Tandy. Say you love this dress.”

  Tandy grinned. “Of course I do. You all look gorgeous in them.”

  Kendra turned back to the mirror and raised her eyebrows. “You’re sure? There’s not a whole lot of color here.”

  Tandy stared at her knowingly. “Which would be a problem if this was your wedding, but I’m pretty happy with gold, thanks.”

  “Huh. The way my life is going, I can forget any plans for a wedding anytime in the foreseeable future.”

  “I’m sure Darin will take you back as soon as you talk to him.” Joy stepped down off the dais.

  “Are you now? Because it sure didn’t feel like he was taking me back yesterday when he slammed his door in my face.”

  “What?”

  She filled the sisters in on yesterday’s dismal conversation at Darin’s.

  “Why did you go over there? Clay said Darin wasn’t ready.”

  Kendra shrugged. “I couldn’t sit around waiting anymore, Tandy. I had to do something.”

  “And your something involved ignoring the wisdom of Darin’s best friend?”

  “Look, I know now it was a bad idea, but I had to go find out for myself. I had to do what I could to let him know how sorry I am.”

  Meg jumped in, cutting off Tandy’s retort. “What’s your plan now?”

  “I don’t know. Wait, I guess. It’s all I can do. He forgave me. He’s just got to get to the point where we can start again.”

  “You don’t have a plan?” Tandy came up out of her seat. “You went over there, knowing Clay said not to, hurt Darin a little more—and you don’t have a plan?”

  “Whoa, Tandy. Look, I told you. I had to make sure he knew I’m not his ex-wife. I’m not running away like she did. I’m not leaving him for someone else like she did. I should have called you first. I’m sorry. But I knew you’d try to talk me out of it, and I knew just as much that I had to go over there.”

  Tandy put her fists on her hips and stared Kendra down.

  “Did you stop to think how your actions might affect me? Or Clay? Or Clay’s relationship to Darin?”

  “I did. And I decided that the faster we can get past this, the easier it’s going to be for all of us.”

  That stopped Tandy. She dropped her fists. “Oh.”

  Kendra came down from the dais and stood in front of Tandy. “I’m really grateful for you talking to Clay for me. I wasn’t trying to go behind your back. Okay?”

  “Yeah, okay. I just hate being in this position.”

  “And I hate that I’ve put you in this position. But eventually, Darin and I will figure things out.”

  “You sound pretty sure of that,” Meg said.

  “We have to,” Kendra replied. “We just have to.”

  “Well, you’re not going to move forward if you don’t see him. How about coming to Heartland with Clay and me tonight?”

  “I don’t think Darin’s going to be at Heartland, Tandy. He looked wrecked when I saw him. A country dance hall is the last place he’d want to be.”

  Tandy whipped out her cell phone and punched buttons while grinning at Kendra. “Clay? I think we should bring Darin to Heartland tonight.” She waited a beat. “I know, I know. But he can’t stay holed up in his apartment forever. Tell him it’s for his own good.” She paused. “Good idea. I’ll see you tonight, sweetie. Love you.” She flipped the phone shut. “Darin will be at Heartland tonight. You coming?”

  “You are the best sister in the world.”

  “Hey! Watch it there, sister.” Meg protested.

  “Okay, one of the three best sisters in the world.”

  * * *

  THAT NIGHT KENDRA looked at herself in her full-length mirror. Her spirals were conditioned to perfection, and her red and yellow skirt hid most of the scarring on her leg. The gloss she’d found in Sarah’s shop earlier made her lips look plump, and her skin, for once, gleamed.

  “Watch out, Darin Spenser.” She sashayed over to the closet and pulled out her brown dancing boots.

  She pranced out of the apartment and out to the RAV4, ready to do battle for Darin’s heart. He’d loved her once. She saw it in his eyes, even if it didn’t cross his lips. Tonight he’d hear it cross hers.

  The lights of Heartland beamed their welcome to the world, and her tires crunched on the gravel of the parking lot. The moonlight bounced off the black paint of Darin’s Barracuda, and her heart began thudding in her chest.

  “Steady, girl,” she whispered as she swung the car into a parking space. “You can do this.”

  On legs wobbly with nerves, she exited the RAV4 and walked to Heartland’s door. Reaching for the knob, she noticed her hand was shaking and took a deep breath. “He’s just a man.” But the man she wanted for the rest of her life. The man whose love she’d killed with her actions. The man who fit so beautifully, so seamlessly into her life. He was her man.

  She opened the door and stepped inside.

  Boots pounded
a steady rhythm on the hardwood. Skirts swirled and cowboy hats twirled as the dancers spun in time to the music. Kendra breathed a little easier, letting the comfort of the surroundings minister to her. Daddy and Zelda were at their customary table in the far corner, their heads bent low in conversation.

  Kendra walked further in, looking around to find Darin. Or, for that matter, Tandy.

  She squinted into the shadows where lightbulbs had burned out. Was that him? She couldn’t tell since the Darin she knew would never slump like that. Darin always stood tall, easy in his own skin.

  But as she stepped forward and he shifted, she could see that it was, indeed, Darin. Quickening her steps, ready to start this thing up again, she hurried across the room.

  She was three tables away when a redhead walked up to his side, handed him a cup, and leaned into him.

  Kendra stumbled, grabbing at the table beside her.

  What was this? Her heart lurched while her mind scrambled to make sense of the scene. Darin with another woman?

  The redhead flirted up at him, her body language clearly telegraphing the words Kendra couldn’t hear pouring from her mouth. And Darin smiled back. Touched her shoulder. Drank from the cup she’d brought him.

  They were here together.

  How had this happened? When had this happened?

  Not since yesterday. That couldn’t be possible. The man Kendra talked to yesterday was about as far from being with a woman as she was from marital bliss. Who was that girl? She didn’t look like anybody from Stars Hill, with her Six jeans and fake boots.

  Kendra stood frozen to the spot, frantic to leave before he could see her but powerless to turn away.

  When, finally, her feet began to obey her order to escape, she glanced back for a last look and caught Darin’s eyes. They widened, then narrowed, and she felt a lead-like weight lodge in her heart. His arm came around the redhead and bent down to her level.

  Kendra tore her gaze away, knowing if she saw Darin kiss that woman, she’d lose it right here in the middle of Heartland. She pushed through the crowded tables and fell through the door into the parking lot.

  “Kendra?” Tandy’s voice made her look up. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”