On the Outside (Caught Inside #3)

by S. Briones Lim

  “Things would be a lot easier if I had somebody to talk to,” I muttered as I stared out my window, waiting for him to pick me up. The cool California breeze ruffled my curtains, and though I inhaled the crisp air, it did nothing for my nerves. I was lonely, plain and simple. I missed my life and my friends. I missed Riley. I even considered calling my parents to chat, but after they basically chewed me out about Louis, I figured some radio silence would do us well.

  Beep. Beep.

  Xavier’s car pulled up right in front of my window, blasting an old American Rejects song. Through his car window I could make out the silhouette of his head, which was bobbing up and down with the music. If it weren’t for the two surfboards strapped onto the roof of his car, I would have found the sight amusing. Unfortunately, the ominous boards only fueled my anxiety.

  Beep. Beep.

  I rolled my eyes. “Coming, coming.”

  Stalling as best as I could, I grabbed my purse, locked my door, and even walked down the apartment’s walkway at a snail’s pace, practically dragging myself to his car. By the time I reached the gigantic four-wheel Jeep, Xavier was peering at me with a look of irritation.

  “What?” I grumbled, sliding into the passenger’s seat.

  “It’s really good business to be on time for things.” Xavier shifted into reverse and shot me a reprimanding look. “Time is money.”

  “I wasn’t late,” I argued. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

  “If you’re on time, you’re late.”

  “Okay, thanks, Dad.”

  Xavier’s thick eyebrows lifted up in surprise, but he didn’t say a word. For some reason his lack of response rubbed me the wrong way.

  Shutting my eyes, I rubbed at my forehead and groaned. “If you have something to say, then say it. You remind me of my manager, you know? Subtly irritating.”

  The slightest hint of a smile graced his face. “If you want to make it big in Hollywood, you have to treat others with respect. I know you’re new—”

  “New to the area?” I interjected.

  “New to show business,” he clarified. “I know this is your first movie.”

  I raised an eyebrow. Robert wasn’t kidding when he said I’d be flying under the radar. Though a part of me was happy Xavier wasn’t aware of my tabloid-filled exploits, I couldn’t help but feel a bit offended that he had no knowledge of my prior work.

  “Um, I’ve acted before,” I told him, eyeing him pointedly.

  He shrugged. “Good for you. Now, are you ready to get this day started?”

  My eyebrows furrowed together as I took a moment to examine him. He reminded me of Ashton Kutcher—perfectly handsome and even the male equivalent of beautiful. His jawline was so sharp that I was pretty sure I could cut a diamond with it. It complemented the tiny cleft in his chin well. For some reason his good looks irked me. He came off as the prissy type and reminded me a lot of Coby.

  I hated Coby.

  Scowling, I shook my head. “Guess you didn’t do your research about me, did you?”

  “Come again?”

  “It’s my first day in California. I have two months to go before shooting, why do I need to ruin it with stupid surf lessons? I mean, how long does it take to learn how to stand on a piece of wood?”

  The twitch in his jaw and hardening of his mouth told me that I had somehow offended him. After over a month’s worth of abuse with the media, I couldn’t give a shit.

  “You don’t like surfing, I take it?” he asked in an even tone.

  “I don’t know much about it,” I admitted.

  He nodded once. “Makes sense. Well, I’ll make sure you like it.”

  I inhaled deeply and slowly let the air out of my mouth. It created a soft whistling noise between my gloss-covered lips. “Listen, I’m sorry if I offended you, but please understand where I’m coming from. I just arrived yesterday. I don’t even know what San Diego has to offer me, and already I have to dive into shark-infested waters. Can’t I just ease into this lifestyle? Can’t I just have one day?”

  “Is this your first time in the city?”

  I nodded. “First time on the west coast.”

  “Wow,” he breathed. His thick eyebrows raised, creating slight wrinkles in his forehead.

  “It’s not that big of a deal. I’m not some lost country bumpkin.”

  “You haven’t been to the west coast. It is a problem. You basically spent…Wait, how old are you again?”

  “Twenty-nine per my IMDB profile,” I joked.

  “Well then, you spent twenty-nine years of your life missing out. Everyone knows California is the place to be. It is the best coast.”

  “Okay, Katy Perry.” I chuckled.

  “Well, I would have gone with Tupac, but…well, your choice in music speaks volumes about you.”

  My eyes narrowed. “If this is your way of bonding with me, you’re definitely reaching. I can call my manager at any time and—”

  “And what? Ask him to fire me? To replace me?” He snorted and shook his head as if I just cracked the world’s funniest joke. It truly pissed me off.

  I raised my chin. “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

  To my surprise he threw his head back and let out a bellowing laugh, which bounced off the plastic walls of his Jeep. The laugh lasted an uncomfortably long period, and by the time tears began to well up in the corner of his eyes, I knew I had to put an end to the stupidity.

  “You’re really not helping your cause right now. Given that surf instructors are probably a dime a dozen here in Cali, I’m pretty sure I can find a replacement.”

  He stared at me quietly. His once jubilant face was now nearly expressionless.

  Good. I scared him.

  Just when I was starting to revel in my victory, Xavier’s thick lips curled up into a menacing smile. “I guess you didn’t do any research about me, did you, Harper Montgomery, ex-star of Joy In and Joy Out?”

  I sucked in my breath. “B-but you…”

  He rolled his eyes. “Robert made me promise to make you feel comfortable. Stupid me for thinking that acting as if I didn’t know who you were would bring out the lighter side of you, right?”

  “But…”

  “For the record, you are new to show business. I don’t care if you had a quirky role on a successful sitcom; you are obviously new to how quick show business can turn on you.”

  “I…you…”

  “As for me, I’m your producer. You can’t get rid of me unless you want to get rid of this role.”

  My heart immediately sank. Chagrined, I gazed up at my producer and cringed. I couldn’t risk having an angry boss again. Not after how everything went down in New York. Shutting my eyes, I bowed my head. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean…I don’t mean to be such a bitch. I’ve just been through a lot and…”

  “And it’s not an excuse to be a bitch.” He shot me a look before pulling onto the freeway.

  It felt as if he’d taken my gut and wrung it in his hands. “Yeah…I’m sorry. I’m really not like this. I guess everything just piled up and I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

  Riley can’t even trust me.

  I pushed away the thought and sniffled quietly, turning my head so that Xavier couldn’t see my tomato red nose and the sheen of water that glazed over my eyes. I tried my hardest to focus on the passing mountains or canyons or whatever the hell the brown looking hills were. After a few moments I heard Xavier sigh heavily.

  “I guess we started off on the wrong foot. I’m also guessing you’re feeling a bit down, and I’d hate for your first day on the water to be dampened by your mood. Besides losing the exhilaration of surfing, it’ll be outright dangerous.”

  “What does it matter?” I muttered, still staring out the window. “It’s not like surfing is going to be a hobby of mine. I just need it for this job.”

  “So you say now…Listen, why don’t we take this day to get you acquainted with the best state in the country bef
ore we dive in and do some actual work?”

  My tears immediately dried up. I braved a glance at him and cocked my head to the side. “Really?” Narrowing my eyes, I whispered, “What’s the catch?”

  “The catch is that we have to be nice to one another. We’ll be on location for a few months and it’ll be hella easier if we get along.”

  “Hella?”

  “Cali slang.”

  “Cali slang,” I repeated before breaking out into a frown. “Wait, you said ‘on location.’ That means you don’t live around here. How are you supposed to show me around?”

  He glanced over at me and smirked. “I’m from California, but I’m not from San Diego originally. I’m actually from a small town called M—Hey watch it!”

  My heart drummed in my chest as I felt the car swerve to the left. A chorus of car horns soon followed. I grabbed onto the ‘oh shit’ bar above the car’s window and held on for my dear life. Surprisingly, Xavier didn’t seem too perturbed.

  “Fucking asshole,” he muttered, swiftly changing lanes.

  I was pretty sure I was as pale as a ghost. I gulped and took a few deep breaths before I started to hyperventilate. “Are you sure you’re not from New York? Your exceptional driving skills seem reminiscent of the Big Apple.”

  “Never been.” His mouth tightened and he gripped the wheel tightly.

  “Well, somebody has spent…how old are you?”

  His lips finally relaxed into a smile. “Thirty.”

  “You just spent thirty years of your life missing out.”

  Chapter 8

  The warm sun hit my face, instantly relaxing me. The wind, which I came to realize was perpetually cool, blew under my nose, leaving the scent of fish and saltwater in its wake. I lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the sun’s glare and gazed up at the rollercoaster in front of me. The churro that I gripped tightly began to cry pieces of cinnamon and sugar, warning me of an impending break.

  “Whoa, what did that churro ever do to you?” Xavier placed his own sugary goodness into his mouth and took a chomp out of it. He followed my gaze and smiled when his eyes landed on the rickety looking wooden coaster. “Ah, excited, I see.”

  “Hardly.” My grip tightened even more, and before I knew it, the top half of my cinnamon stick went tumbling to the ground.

  Xavier scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Bummer. That’s the last time I’m buying you a snack.”

  Scowling, I spun around quickly, knocking into him. We both stumbled a bit, but luckily Xavier was able to straighten us both out. Usually I’d be horrified at my clumsiness, but I was more focused on my crippling fear than I was at slight embarrassment.

  “I’m not riding that thing,” I hissed. “That thing is a death trap!”

  “Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. I’m sure you’ve ridden the one on Coney Island before.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t do rollercoasters.”

  His mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? Why?”

  Even imagining being buckled into one of the death machines caused a chill to travel up my spine. “I hate the drops.”

  He gaped. “The drops are the best part.”

  “I hate that stomach in your mouth feeling.” I gulped and shuddered involuntarily. “It makes me feel queasy.” And small.

  Xavier’s strong jaw clenched as he examined me quietly. I felt my body freezing up under his stare, but for some odd reason my stomach was pooling with warmth.

  “Well, that’s not good,” he finally commented.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You do know that dropping in on a wave feels almost exactly like the drop on a rollercoaster.”

  I frowned, imagining the dinky waves I’ve seen in person and the foam that surrounded them. There wasn’t any way those little two feet waves could garner the same rush. I shook my head. “I don’t believe that.”

  “Try riding a ten foot wave and get back to me.” Though his reply was a bit mocking, he wore a kind smile on his face.

  “Don’t plan on it.”

  “Well, we’ll see about that.” Taking one last look at the rollercoaster, he tugged my arm. “Come on. We have more of San Diego to explore.”

  Breathing a smile of relief, I nodded happily. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

  ***

  The rest of the day was spent driving around San Diego, hitting up every tourist site imaginable. It was odd, but unlike New York with its stress, rudeness, and overwhelming feeling of suffocation, San Diego’s hot spots were laid back and relaxed. By the time the sun was about to set, we crashed in his car with achy feet, full bellies, and an oddly serene feeling.

  Settling into his seat, Xavier reached out and turned the radio on so it was just a low hum. I sat back and watched him quietly, examining the man that I’d be spending every day with. Though we started off on the wrong foot, I was happy to see that he really wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Sure, we still had a long way to go, but maybe learning how to surf wouldn’t be so horrible.

  “What? Why are you looking at me?” he asked.

  “Huh?” I tore my gaze away and looked down at my hands. “I…uh…well…”

  “Yeah?”

  There really was no getting out of it, was there? Bowing my head, I let out a sigh. “I’m just silently thanking you,” I admitted.

  He shot me a bemused look. “For what? And by the way, it helps if you thank somebody out loud.”

  Ignoring his remark, I shrugged my shoulders. “For letting me forget about the bad stuff. For not asking me about the bad stuff.”

  “Well, it’s not my first rodeo and definitely not my first scandal.”

  “That’s good to know,” I replied with a snort.

  He grinned. “Well, now that we’re on the topic…”

  My smile faded. “Didn’t I just thank you for not asking me about it?”

  “I was just going to say that I think it’s cool you’re not letting it get to you. I mean, usually when rumors spread, people break down, but you seem to have a pretty level head on your shoulders, even if you’re a bit scorned and defensive.”

  Images of my dirty New York apartment filled my mind. If he only knew what “not breaking down” really looked like.

  “Oh yeah, I’m the epitome of handling things well.” I pressed my lips together in a tight smile when something dawned on me. “Wait, how are you so sure it was a rumor? Is that what Robert told you?”

  “Robert didn’t tell me anything. I figured it out all by my lonesome.”

  “Well, you’re definitely one in a million.” I chewed the corner of my lip and arched an eyebrow. “How’d you figure it out?”

  He grinned. “I’m a pretty good judge of character, and seeing as how you are quiet except when offended, a chicken when it comes to new things and—”

  “Okay, okay, I get it. Basically you’re saying I’m not the type to hold a relationship with a multi-millionaire behind his wife’s back,” I muttered.

  “Don’t sound so defensive, it’s a good thing.”

  I smirked. “I wasn’t trying to sound defensive.”

  “Excuse me if a snarky tone and a weak excuse of a smile is my definition of defensive and not yours.” He threw me a wink to placate the situation, but it hardly worked.

  I inhaled deeply and let out a slow breath. “I wish none of it happened. I wish I wasn’t stupid enough to let my career blow up in my face like that. I miss New York and I miss my sitcom. It was supposed to be my big break and now look at me. I’m sitting in a car with a stranger divulging my deepest feelings since none of my friends want anything to do with me.”

  I may have been imagining things, but I could have sworn I saw pity in his eyes. In a soft tone he replied, “I’m hardly a stranger anymore.”

  Not really knowing how to respond to that, I pressed on. “And now I’m in California working on a surf film. If I wanted to do that, I would have been born in the fifties or something.”

  “Theoretic
ally impossible.”

  I pursed my lips. “Not helping.”

  He broke out into a smile and shook his head. “You know what? I’m a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. Sure, this isn’t where you thought your life would go, but who knows? Maybe this will be your big break. I mean, Joy In and Joy Out was doing well, but you know as well as I do that the average success rates for sitcoms isn’t that good. Summer movie hits have more of a potential.”

  “I guess,” I muttered.

  “Change your perspective. Not to sound too cheesy, but there really is a silver lining to everything.” He paused, tilting his head to the side. “Let’s do a little mental exercise.”

  “What?” I asked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  “Think hard about everything that has happened to you and tell me one good thing that came out of all this.”

  “Do I have to?” I whined.

  “Do it.”

  I narrowed my eyes and racked my brain for any good thing. After a few moments I finally mumbled, “Well, I don’t have to see Coby Evans anymore.”

  Xavier’s eyes twinkled. “See? There you go. You are finally jerk free.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “How do I know you’re not a jerk?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t. It’ll be interesting to find out though, don’t you think?”

  There was something about the teasing look on his face that caused my stomach to leap. I shifted uneasily and stared out the window as I whispered to myself, “This is why I hate rollercoasters. I hate the drop in your stomach.”

  Chapter 9

  “Leash?”

  I nodded my head. “Check.”

  “Board?”

  I pointed to the heavy log looking thing at my feet. “Quadruple check.”

  Xavier eyed me, scanning my body up and down. I nervously buried my feet in the sand as if it somehow would shield me from his gaze. My toes curled over, wiggling over the crunchy grains.