On the Outside (Caught Inside #3)

by S. Briones Lim

  I eyed the chicken scratch.

  You did it! You won the intellectual!

  I let out an amused laugh. “We’re old friends.”

  “Good to know.”

  I bit my lip and eyed the wedding planning mess in front of me. Though I had more than enough help to plan the traditional church wedding, something still felt off.

  “She didn’t respond,” I called out suddenly. “I didn’t think she would.”

  Xavier cringed. “So no go on the Maid of Honor request?”

  I shook my head. “Piper was really happy, though. I do feel a bit bad that she was second choice—”

  “But I think she understands,” Xavier cut me off with a kind smile. When I didn’t return it, his face fell. “Everything will be okay. I can almost promise you that she’ll change her mind and show up at our wedding.”

  I shut my eyes and imagined everything I needed to do that would have been a lot more fun with my best friend at my side. Dress shopping, bridal showers, engagement parties, and bachelorette outings—though I was excited for all the events, I looked forward to them with a slight sting in my heart.

  Xavier brought me in for a hug. “I know Riley well and she isn’t some evil, vindictive type. She’ll come around.”

  “I sure hope so.”

  “And I do think she’ll show up to the wedding after all.”

  I snorted. “That kind of stuff only happens in the movies.”

  He pulled away slightly so that I could see his wink. “Don’t you remember? We are the movies.”

  Chapter 45

  Xavier and I were married on a beautiful November day. If you had asked me only a few years back what I would imagine my wedding day to be like, I would have answered, “What wedding day?” The concept of marriage was so foreign to me—not that I was against it, but I just couldn’t imagine anybody willing to spend the rest of their life with me. Especially with the shit show that was my life.

  Yet there we were.

  Xavier with his classic tuxedo and newly buzzed hair to emulate the days when we first fell in love was like a surreal dream to me. His trademark dimple made its appearance over and over again throughout the day, his smile never once leaving his face.

  Then there was me.

  Despite the usual wedding day jitters any bride endures, I was actually quite relaxed on the day. Even Piper, who as the Maid of Honor found it difficult to sit still and be the one who was pampered for a change, commented on my demeanor.

  “Harper, you have to be the most relaxed bride I have ever encountered.” She peered at my reflection in the mirror, taking in my lax mouth and sleepy eyes.

  I shrugged. “After all the planning was done I figured what was left to be stressed about? I’m inviting positive vibes for today. God knows I don’t need any negative ones.”

  Piper snapped her fingers in the air. “You go, girl.”

  I grinned and stared at the mirror. My usually bright hair was almost blonde, bleached by the California sun. My fair skin was tan with a few new sprinklings of freckles around my nose. Gone was New York Harper. “California Harper is here to stay.”

  “What?” Piper glanced over from a nearby makeup chair where she was literally peeking over the makeup artist’s shoulders.

  “Piper, stop bothering that poor woman,” I replied with a laugh. “And I was just saying how happy I am to be living in California.”

  ***

  “Did I tell you that you look beautiful?” Xavier gripped my hand, dancing in time to an old Justin Timberlake song. It was the same song I used to have as my ringtone, and though initially hearing it brought bad associations, I figured I’d give a big Fuck You to those bad vibes and make it our first song at the reception.

  I grinned, and seeing as I was a bit taller thanks to my skyscraper Louboutins, I was able to press my forehead against his. “You’ve been saying it all day long.”

  “I can’t help it, you are a sight for—”

  “If you say sore, I am going to punch you.”

  “For my eyes.”

  “Better,” I said with a giggle.

  Xavier glanced at the crowd around us, which included a bunch of different associates, coworkers, Wyatt—gasp!—and of course Kacy and Miles. Though I didn’t think it was appropriate to have her as one of my bridesmaids, I was happy that our relationship had substantially grown over the year. She may never be a close confidante, but now she was my sister-in-law and I was more than okay with that.

  “You’re thinking about Riley, aren’t you?” Xavier whisked me around, putting me into a dip, which elicited appreciative cheers from the crowd.

  I wasn’t until now.

  “I just wish that she was here.” I glanced over at the presidential table and sighed. Her seat would have been right next to mine, but now it was filled with Piper’s drunken ass. Then again, it was a bit funny to see her flirting up a storm with Xavier’s groomsman.

  “Like I said, she’ll come around.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Positivity, positivity.

  I grabbed onto his neck and pressed my cheek against his. “Enough about this crap. This is our wedding day. Let’s be happy.”

  “Oh we will be.”

  “Forever?”

  “Even longer than that.”

  Chapter 46

  “Are you ready to do this?” Xavier glanced over his shoulder, switching lanes to pass an exceptionally slow driver. Anything to speed up our journey to Mistcoast. He really didn’t want me stressing out any longer than I needed to.

  I shrugged my shoulders and watched the canyons pass by. My lips curled up into a smile. I couldn’t believe that I used to hate the bland California desert brown color. Now, it felt like home to me.

  “Harper, I don’t think…” Xavier shook his head and sighed. He knew perfectly well that my mind was set on this trip and there was nothing he could say or do to stop me. Maybe the Greenes were rubbing off on me after all.

  “Xavier, there is no way I’m not going to visit Riley.”

  “It’s been years!”

  “And?” I lifted an eyebrow. “I think this is the best time to finally reach out to her. The thing is I’ve been waiting for her to reach out to me—”

  “No, you haven’t. You invited her to the wedding, didn’t you? She said no, remember?” he spat out in annoyance and frowned. “Maybe it’s time you let this go.”

  “I know it sounds stupid, but I just feel like I haven’t done enough. This was my fault to begin with, remember?”

  “And at this point I think you’ve already stated your case. You didn’t do it on purpose and you were the big enough person to take all the blame. It’s about time Riley plays her role.”

  I knew you wouldn’t understand.

  “She had a baby, Xavier. I need to be there for her. I want to be there for her. She may not care about me anymore, but I still do about her.”

  “Why, exactly?” he asked.

  I shot him a bewildered look. “You should know. You grew up with her.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying that she isn’t a good person or anything, what I mean is why must you keep torturing yourself like this?”

  I bit my lip and recalled those early days in New York. “Because Riley was the first person who made me feel as if I wasn’t just the weird kid. She was the first person to see me and accept me. She made me feel normal and as sad as it sounds, I think she was the first person I could fully call a friend.”

  Xavier sucked in his breath and began to nod his head slowly. “Okay, I guess that leaves me with no choice.”

  “Qué?” I lifted an eyebrow and shot him a suspicious look.

  “We’ll continue this drive to Mistcoast. Anything to make you feel better.”

  I threw my head back and laughed. “I’m not some fragile piece of glass. I can survive this.”

  “And it’s my job to make sure you do.”

  Chapter 47

&n
bsp; I lost track of how long we sat in our car, staring at the huge white building that sat at the edge of Mistcoast. A weird funnel shaped flag flapped in the breeze, adding a metronome sounding beat as the soundtrack of our day.

  I snuck a peek at Xavier and felt myself fill with love and appreciation. He really was such a great husband, always putting up with my quirks and being there during my moments of absolute insanity. After the success of Cali Break I was suddenly one of the most sought out actresses in the business. It calmed me knowing that a great performance can still overshadow public opinion and tabloid gossip.

  One after another, movie roles were offered to me. There were a couple times where I had to leave one set to immediately begin shooting another. Unfortunately, Xavier was unable to go with me every time, but thanks to Skype and trust, everything worked out well. In fact, our wedding was the only vacation I was able to fully take, and after our honeymoon, I was immediately flown to Italy to film a new drama.

  Oh! That was another thing that changed. I no longer wanted to do comedy or TV. Sure, I was always offered parts in rom-coms and other ensemble-type series, but after Joy In and Joy Out I had my fill of that genre. Maybe it’ll change one day, but for now I was enjoying more adult roles in one-time flicks. Regardless of all that, pretty soon my intense work schedule will have to change. It was a bit bittersweet, having to step away from the spotlight I worked so hard for, but this would be well worth it.

  “Are you ready?” Xavier reached out and squeezed my hand. “You ready to go? I think we’ll be getting towed soon if we don’t get moving.” He pointed to a nearby red and white sign. “See. We can end up spending two hundred and forty dollars.”

  I snorted. “Okay, let’s go.”

  The distance from the parking lot to the huge sliding double doors of the hospital was a lot shorter than I would have liked. I purposely took my time, dragging my feet the whole way. Poor Xavier. With his long legs, he was struggling to keep up with my snail’s pace. However, no matter how much I tried to stall, we found ourselves checking in at the front desk.

  “Well, if it isn’t Xavier Greene.” A woman with a name tag that read ‘Robin’ greeted us—err, him—as soon as we entered the door. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was one of the girls who always had a crush on Xavier in high school when he was oblivious to any members of the opposite sex.

  Xavier nodded in greeting. “Hey, Robin. We’re here for—”

  “Riley?”

  He nodded.

  “Sure, she’s up in the maternity floor in room 531. She delivered her baby boy yesterday.”

  It’s a boy.

  “Okay, thank you.”

  Xavier shot me an encouraging smile and together we walked toward the nearest elevator. My heart was pounding loudly and I wondered if Xavier could hear it because he kept shooting me nervous looks. Then again, he probably could sense the stiffness of my posture and trembling of my hands.

  “Again, I ask: are you sure you can do this?”

  I swallowed and nodded quickly. “Yes. We’re here already and I do not want to make that drive back to Los Angeles in the middle of rush hour.”

  “I wasn’t…okay, forget it. Let’s do this.”

  The ding of the elevator announced our arrival to the fifth floor. I sucked in my breath and gazed around, taking in the sterile-looking floors and kind looking nurses.

  “What room is she in again?” I asked nervously.

  “531.”

  “Okay.”

  Following the signs, we rounded the corner and stopped in our tracks. Kacy was in the waiting area, sitting in a chair that directly faced the hallway. As soon as her eyes landed on us she jumped to her feet.

  “I thought you’d be coming today.” She reached out and gave Xavier a tight hug before stepping back and giving me a slightly awkward one as well.

  “Is Miles and Violet here?” Xavier asked eagerly. Of course he wouldn’t want to miss one moment with his beloved niece.

  Kacy pushed back her newly cut hair and nodded. “Yeah, they’re in the room with Blake and Riley…” Her voice trailed off and her gaze dropped to my belly. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes and seriously, you Greenes are like a broken record! Yes, I am ready to finally put an end to this nonsense. It’s about time, especially since life is about to take a very important and significant turn.”

  Kacy bit her lip and snuck a peek at the navy blue door looming ominously behind her. “Okay, just wanted to make sure.”

  “Is she expecting me?” I gulped. In other words, did you spill the beans about our arrival?

  She shook her head. “No. I figured I’d give her a day to enjoy her family before…”

  “Before Hurricane Harper comes to town,” I finished for her. She threw me a strange look, which I easily ignored. “Is it okay for me to go in now?”

  She nodded her head. “Yeah, let me get Miles and Violet out of there. I think you’ll need some alone time with her.”

  “Thank you.”

  She gave me one nod before walking into the room, leaving me outside with Xavier.

  “This is it,” I whispered. “After so many years, this is it.”

  Xavier gave me one of his signature kisses on the cheek and whispered back, “Anyone should be so lucky having a friend like you in their lives.”

  “You mean somebody who sleeps with an ex?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

  Xavier cringed. “Something your husband would like to forget about, by the way.”

  “Yeah, sorry, that just slipped.”

  “Maybe you should think before you speak when you go in there with Riley—”

  “Uncle Xavier!” the little girl squealed, running up to us. Her hair, which was tied up into two little pigtails, bounced against her shoulders.

  “C’mere!” Xavier completely lost track of what he was saying and became a mushy mess once he saw Violet. It was hard to blame him. She was just the cutest thing.

  Violet giggled and crashed into Xavier, who had knelt down to be closer to her. They started their usual banter, and listening to their laughs calmed me down quite a bit.

  “Hey, Harper.” Miles walked up to me and threw his long arms around me for a hug. His usual long hair was now wrapped up in what I could only describe as a man bun, and though I usually despised the ridiculous hairdo, it looked quite awesome on him. “Heard you were in town. How long are you staying?”

  I stepped back and shrugged. “I guess it depends on how today goes. I’d like to say for a bit. It’s not like I’ll be working for a while, you know?”

  “Trust me, it’ll be hard for you to go back to work at all,” he agreed.

  Kacy stepped up beside her husband and pressed her lips together into a slight smile. “Blake actually left to go get Riley some food, so the floor is all yours.”

  I felt the blood drain from my face. “You don’t think my appearance will harm her in any way, do you?”

  “Are you planning on beating her up too?” Kacy snorted.

  “Kacy,” her brother snapped warningly.

  She blushed. “Sorry, I saw an in and I took it, and to answer your question, Harper, no…I don’t think your mere presence will jar her in any way. Now go in there before you hurt yourself.”

  I nodded and dragged my bottom teeth across the tip of my upper lip. “Okay. I can do this.”

  “Go,” somebody said, but I was so lost in my thoughts that I had no idea who even spoke. All I could focus on was the door directly in front of me.

  This is it. Just do it.

  Chapter 48

  My fingers gripped the metal handle, pulling it down toward the floor. I gasped for air and tried my best to ‘Zen’ out, as Limbo always liked to say. After pausing for a beat, I pushed the door open, receiving a sudden influx of air from the A/C inside.

  Riley must be really warm.

  “Blake, is that you?” Her voice sounded so familiar but at the same time like a st
ranger. “Good thing too. I’m starving and there’s no way I’m going to eat hospital food—”

  Her voice ceased once I entered the room. Her grey eyes grew wide with pure wonderment and…maybe fear?

  “Harper!” she gasped. Her gaze immediately flew to the little plastic bassinet beside her.

  Does she really think I’m going to hurt her kid?

  I swallowed the gigantic lump in my throat. “Riley. How are you?”

  Her pink lips quivered. “I…what are you doing here?”

  I turned around to shut the door, catching a glimpse of Xavier—who still had Violet wrapped around his neck—throwing me a thumbs up sign. He gave me a slight nod of encouragement, which was the last kick I needed to fully face this head on.

  Once I heard the door click I walked over to the visitor’s chair and took a seat at the edge, allowing me ample room in case I needed to make a hasty escape.

  I sucked in a deep breath. “Riley, I know it’s been a long time—”

  “A very long time,” she agreed.

  I took a moment to get a look at her. The years had been kind to the California beauty. Though she had a few new wrinkles by her eyes and maybe a brand new strand of grey hair or two, she didn’t look a day older than the last time I saw her a few years ago.

  “Riley, everything was my fault. I’m so sorry for how everything was left between us.”

  “Harper—” She tried to cut me off but I wouldn’t let her.

  “I betrayed your trust, but please know I didn’t mean for that to happen. I know I’ve said the same things over and over again, but I just want you to know I’m owning up to it. I will no longer blame everybody else. It was my fault completely.”

  “Harper—”

  “I miss you, Riley. You weren’t just a best friend to me—you were a…a sister.” My eyes widened in realization. It wasn’t until I spoke those words out loud that I realized why I couldn’t let her go. She was family to me, not just a friend, and sisters never deserted each other.