Keep No Secrets
Page 39
"Do you still love me?"
"You know I do. You know I'll always love you."
"Then we can—"
"It's not enough."
"Would it have been enough if she hadn't come back?"
There it is, finally. He knew in the end, for Claire, it would come down to this question, and he made himself think a lot about this, too, so no matter his answer, it would be honest.
"No."
"But—"
"If she hadn't come back, would that have made a difference in your ability to forgive me?" He asks the question as if he already knows the answer, because he does. Her silence and the devastation on her face convince him he's right. She knows she can't honestly answer and save the marriage both.
"It might have taken longer for us to reach this point if she hadn't come back,"
he says, "but we would have reached it, one way or another. The damage was already done."
Later, after the boys are home and everyone has gone to bed, Jack climbs the stairs in the dark and waits a moment outside the master bedroom. He listens for the page of a book turning, the toilet flushing, the setting of the alarm clock, any sounds indicating Claire might still be awake.
He offered to sleep in the spare
bedroom, but she refused. They can't shield Michael, who already suspects what has happened even if neither Jack nor Claire has told him outright, but Claire wants Jamie to remain ignorant about the impending split until they know Jack's fate. Jack assured her that Jamie wouldn't have to know—he could retire long after Jamie falls asleep and rise before he wakes
—but, perhaps fearing he may soon spend his nights on a prison cot, she insisted Jack sleep in their bed as long as he remains in the house. He reluctantly agreed even as he already dreaded the oppressive tension he knew would
accompany this nightly façade.
He thinks she’s asleep and is about to attempt a stealth entrance when he hears her voice through the door. At first he thinks she might be talking in her sleep, but then he makes out the next words
—"I don’t think so, Mom. I think he means it."—and knows she’s not. He has a sudden urge to barge in, tell her he didn’t mean it, that he’s willing to try again, he’s willing to do anything if it would get them back to the place they were before he walked a drunken Jenny to her car so long ago.
Instead, he steps away from the door and plants himself at the top of the stairs, elbows on knees, chin in hands, to wait for the call to end and for sweeter dreams to claim her.
Jack wakes later to a soft knock on the bedroom door and then an urgent but gentle whisper.
"Dad?" The voice belongs to Michael, but Jack must be dreaming because Michael hasn't spoken to him like that since before his arrest. He rises up on his elbows and listens for the voice to repeat itself.
"Dad? Wake up." The tone has escalated from urgent to desperate.
Something's wrong. Jack shoots out of bed and opens the bedroom door.
Michael shoves his phone at him. "It's Celeste," he says breathlessly, and in the small white glow from the screen, Jack sees panic on his son's face.
Disoriented, Jack looks at the phone.
Celeste wants to talk to me? he thinks.
"What—"
Exasperated, Michael grabs Jack's hand and twists it so the screen faces him.
"She's in trouble," he says. "We have to do something!"
Jack blinks and squints to focus on the tiny text. He reads I wil , txt me back soon and glances up at Michael for an
explanation.
"Read it all. From the beginning."
"Jack?" Claire's sleepy voice joins the confusion. "What's going on?"
"I don't know." He scrolls up to see the messages that came before.
Mike u up?
Yeah
I dont no what 2 do
R u scared about cort 2morow?
My mom pickd me up 2nite
??
Im on way 2 FL
"What?" Jack mutters, not quite comprehending what he just read.
"Dad, read."
Ur not home?
No, tha came 2 take me back
Y did u go?
It wasnt a choice!
?
My dad cal ed her, told her 2
come get me
?
He was mad after ur testimony
Shit
Im scared
Is he w/ her?
Yah
Y didnt u tel ur dad?
U no i cant!
Wher r u rite now?
bathrm in hotel
r tha asleep?
Yah i dont have long 2 tlk, im
real y sorry, b sure 2 tel ur dad 2, k?
What about 2morrow?
Idk i guess my dad wil tel judge or lawyer
At that sentence, Jack suddenly
understands he’s about to be a free man.
He briefly looks up again at Michael, who's oblivious to the line Jack just read.
He's bouncing like a jumping bean waiting for Jack to finish.
U cant go back thr
I no
Cal police
yah right
I mean it!
U dont understand
Where r u exactly?
Told u
what state, city?
Idk TN?
U need 2 find out
Y
I’l come get u
U dont understand, u cant
Yes I can
He’s not like people u no
?
Just keep ur fone on, k?
Find out whr u r
I’l try, I luv u, k?
I luv u 2. Can u cal me?
Not now, mybe l8tr, I hve 2 go
Let me tel ur dad
No! u promised me!
But y not???
I told u!
U cant go back thr
I alrdy am
What should I do?
Just keep ur fone on
Im gonna get my dad
No!
He can help
He hates me
He wil help trust me
Just tel him im sorry, k? I wil
take care of it
?
I gotta go, luv u
Luv u 2
Dont 4get keep fone on
I wil , txt me back soon
"How long ago was all this?" Jack asks just as Claire flips on a light and joins them near the door.
"Just a few minutes ago. Dad, you don’t understand! We gotta do
something." He looks from Jack to Claire to Jack again. "He's sending her back to Florida."
"What's going on?" Claire asks again, this time more insistently.
"What's so bad about her going to Florida?" Jack asks Michael as he hands her the phone. "I mean, other than the obvious fact of skipping out of a trial she instigated." He thinks he can guess the answer, and judging from the way Michael grunts with
stubborn exasperation, he's pretty sure he's guessed right. "Mike, I can't help if you don't tell me what I need to know."
"She's afraid of her mom's
boyfriend."
Claire looks up from reading the
texts, and she and Jack exchange a worried look.
"What do you mean?"
"Dad . . ."
"Michael, what do you mean?"
"He raped her." His teenage voice cracks and his eyes grow wet with tears. "More than once. I mean, like a lot."
"She told you this?"
He nods shamefully, as if he's the one who did it.
"Neither her mom or dad
knows?"
"Her mom’s a stupid whore," he says angrily. "When Celeste told her, she blamed Celeste. That’s why she started living with her dad."
"So her dad knows? I don’t get it." Jack looks at Claire to share his confusion, but then he remembers
she wasn’t in court for Del Toro’s testimony.
"No, he doesn’t know. H
er mom told him Celeste was getting too
wild"—he says "wild" with disgust
—"and that she couldn’t handle her anymore. And you know what her
dad is like, how strict he is. That’s all he needed to hear."
"Why didn’t she tell him?" Jack asks, although he knows the answer in the same way he knew about the boyfriend. He’s heard this story too many times at work.
"They threatened her. She was too afraid to tell anyone, Dad."
Over Claire's shoulder, Jack reads the last few lines again.
Just tel him im sorry, k? I wil
take care of it
?
I gotta go, luv u
Luv u 2
Dont 4get keep fone on
I wil , txt me back soon
What does I wil take care of it mean?
Michael seemed to ask the same question, but Celeste never said outright what her plans are.
"Text her again and ask what hotel they're at. Ask if she can look for the address on the phone in the room
without waking them up."
Michael grabs the phone from Claire and frantically taps out a new text.
"We need to call her dad, Jack," Claire says.
"No!" Michael pleads to Jack. "No!
That'll make it worse."
Jack studies his son’s reaction. "In what way?"
"It’ll just make it worse. She made me promise not to tell him. I just know her dad can’t find out." Michael won’t look him in the eye; Jack knows he’s not getting the full story.
"Mike, she’s in a hotel room with a guy who raped her repeatedly, according to you. Or according to her, I guess. How much worse can it get?"
"Can’t we just go get her, Dad?
Please?"
" What? " Claire says. "Are you out of your mind?"
Michael finally addresses his mother directly, as if he just noticed she’s standing in the hallway with them. "She can’t go back to Florida with them. It’ll just happen again."
"We understand that," Jack says, "but it’s either call her dad or call 911 to get Child Protective Services involved. Or both, really."
"Why can’t it be you?" he cries. "You’re a prosecutor!"
"That’s not the same. You know that."
Jack looks to Claire as if to say Can you help me here?
"In case you forgot," she says, "there’s a restraining order against your dad. He’s not supposed to be anywhere near
Celeste. And he’s also not allowed to leave the state."
Not quite what Jack hoped for, but at least she made valid points.
Michael grunts and turns back to Jack as if Claire isn’t even worth arguing with.
"Why can’t we—" His phone vibrates and he quickly redirects his attention to the screen. "She says they’re at a Red Roof Inn." He continues to read. "She says it may be a while before she can see the phone because when she went over to the nightstand to look, he woke up and asked her why she wasn’t sleeping. She has to be sure he's sound asleep again." With his fingers moving at warp speed, he sends a message back.
"What did you say?" Jack asks. Claire moves down the hall and gently closes Jamie’s bedroom door.
"I asked her if he’s done anything to her." The answer comes back before he finishes his sentence. He pushes the phone toward Jack’s face as if to say, See?
He said if I dont bhav he mite
giv us rufies at the red ruf inn
then he laughed
"Us?" Jack says aloud before the meaning of her word choice fully registers. The question causes Michael to lose his already waning patience.
"For both of them! For her mom, to knock her out, and—"
"Mike," Jack grabs his shoulders, "calm down. Okay? I understand."
"You don’t! We need to get her out of there before he does it again."
"We will. Okay. Just calm down."
When Claire rejoins them, he asks, "What do you think?"
She answers as if Michael is no longer in the hallway with them. "If he really thinks she’s in imminent danger, we need to call 911, and then we need to call her dad and let him know."
"No, Mom!" Michael begins to cry.
Embarrassed, he swipes his eyes to erase the tears. "Please," he begs. "I promised her! If you bring all these people into it, that'll just make it worse! She says it’ll just set him off again."
"Again?" Jack asks.
He’s not like people u no. Was this her way of warning Michael away? Of telling him that her mom’s boyfriend is capable of much worse than rape?
"Mike?" Jack persists. Michael looks at Jack helplessly. The "again" was clearly an unintentional slip. "What did he do?"
Michael grunts. "You know her finger?
Her pinky?"
"Where she's missing the tip?"
Michael nods.
Oh, Jesus.
"Jack," Claire touches his arm, drawing his attention back to her appeal, "they're trained for this stuff. You know that."
"What would we say? We don’t even know where she is."
"That’s right, and they’re much better at finding people than we are. Or call her dad. He might know where they stopped."
"The man's a lunatic, Claire."
"Only if the stuff she's told Mike about him is true."
"I heard him myself in court. I'd rather err on the side of caution."
" Which is why you should call 911. Let someone else handle this."
Maybe it's everything that's happened between them, maybe it's because he no longer views her through the same lens he once did, but he can't help but think her protest is less about helping Celeste and more about washing her hands of the problem.
Jack sighs and glances at Michael, who has returned to feverish texting. The guy cut off part of her finger. When he looks back at Claire, she shakes her head. She can read him, she always could, and she knows he’s considering a drive to Tennessee. She yanks him into their bedroom, shuts the door halfway. "Don't make another mistake like this," she whispers. "Stop trying to be Mike's hero."
Her accusation stings, but he buries the familiar impulse to react. "I think he might be right. I think the mistake might be bringing all these others into it."
"How can you say that? They're trained.
They'll know how to handle it."
"You saw how she kept asking him to tell me she's sorry."
"So?"
Jack shrugs. It's nothing more than a hunch. "I don't know. I just think that maybe if she knows it's okay, that I'll forgive her and she won't lose us, then she'll trust me. I think I’ll be able to get her out of that room without Torpedo knowing something’s up."
"Torpedo?"
"The boyfriend."
"Jack, if you so much as cross the river to chase after Celeste you–will–be–
violating–two–court–orders."
"I don't care about the damn court orders, okay? This is her life we're talking about."
"Which is why you should let professionals handle it! If you don't, if you take matters into your own hands and she gets hurt, you'll have to live with it."
"I'll also have to live with it if I call 911
and Mike's right, if it causes that guy to do something desperate. You know how they do things. Remember what happened with that South County case? When they tried to rescue that girl who'd been abused? I don't want to risk something similar. They’ll either show up with guns blazing, or they’ll knock on the door, ask if everything is okay, and leave when he says yes. Either way, it'll probably set him off."
Claire fixes her hands on her hips. "So you're going to risk her life, and yours too, by the way, by taking the advice of an immature sixteen-year-old boy."
"He knows her situation better than anyone else."
"He's sixteen, Jack! I can't believe this.
Are you losing it?"
No, actually, I'm getting it back. "I'd rather get close and then decide if I need backup." He swings the door open wide.
/> "Put on some clothes, Mike. We're going together this time."
Michael starts for his room, but Jack catches his arm. "But on the way, you're filling me in about what the hell's been going on, got it?"
Michael nods guiltily.
"From the beginning," Jack adds before releasing him. He weaves around an incredulous Claire to get dressed.
CHAPTER THIRTY
"WHAT WILL WE do when we get there?" Michael asks as they pull out of the driveway. It's almost one a.m., and the few media stragglers who have haunted the street outside their house each night during the trial are long gone.
"I'm not sure. I guess that depends on what the situation is and what you tell me." He glances at his son to see if he gets the message. From the way he shrinks against the passenger door, he does. "We first have to find her."
"What if Mom calls 911 anyway?"
Jack asked himself the same question.
"She'll do what she thinks is best."
Michael tilts his head back against the headrest and closes his eyes. Jack can tell he's thinking, not sleeping, but he waits until they pass the lights of the city and are halfway across the Mississippi toward Illinois before he pesters him.
"Hey."
Michael looks around to get his
bearings. He spots the Arch out the rear window and relaxes.
"We’ve got about four hours to the Tennessee state line. Start talking."
"I'm not sure where to begin."
Jack wants to ask him to begin with his decision to cover for Celeste no matter the cost to his dad, but he knows this isn't the information that will help them help Celeste. So instead he says, "How about if you explain why she decided to accuse me of raping her?" And why you went along with it?
Michael shifts in his seat. His knee bounces up and down from the Morse code jitter of his left leg.
"Three hours, fifty-eight minutes."
Michael huffs a sigh. "It wasn't like she decided."
"What was it like, then?"
His son keeps his eyes trained outside his window.
"Mike, I know this is hard for you, but you really need to just spit it out."
"She did one of those at-home tests to see if she was pregnant, and her dad found out."