by Ella Col
“What?” Caydon breaks me out of my stupor.
“Huh?” I’m in a daze thinking about Hannah.
“You have that fucking scowl on your face again.” Caydon laughs. “Every time I mention that blond bitch’s name, you fucking pout.”
He called her a ‘bitch’. It’s on. “Don’t fucking call her that.”
“Or what?” Caydon challenges me.
“Or I’ll fucking pummel you.” At least I’d give it the old college try.
He’s amused. I never wanted to rip someone’s face off as much as I want to tear his from his skull. Pretty boy.
“I’d like to see you try.” Again, Caydon dares. He knows that I can’t beat him.
Everything about this fucked-up situation is irritating the shit out of me. Caydon’s lack of respect for Hannah is wearing thin. Hannah’s infatuation with Caydon is slashing away at my heart. Why can’t she just be fucking happy with me?
I kick the stool that was supporting my leg a few minutes ago. Standing up quickly, I pick up the tray lying next to me and throw it across the garage. “Fuck you, man.”
My intention is to storm out of the garage. Before I get the chance, Caydon’s hand is on my shoulder. He’s walking side by side with me. In a hushed voice, he begins to speak so Harlow can’t hear. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” I sulk. Hannah wants you…not me. That’s what.
Caydon throws his head over his shoulder to address Harlow. “I’ll be right back, man. Open a beer for me.” By the time Caydon catches up with me, I’m at the end of the driveway. “Seriously. I can tell you’re down. What’s going on?”
Giving Caydon half-truth seems harmless. “Look, I was asked to bring you to this fucking party tonight. You’re giving me shit about it. I’m tired of being the middle man.”
Caydon sighs and rubs the scruff on his chin. “I already told you...Hannah doesn’t control me. I get that she’s your friend, and she has a crush on me. It doesn’t mean that I have to get with her.”
I can see Caydon is concerned about me. He looks torn up about my quick exit from the garage. Fuck. Why does he have to be a good guy?
“I didn’t ask you to get with her. I asked you to show up at the goddamn party. That’s it.” That’s all she wants. Maybe, she won’t try to hook up with him. It doesn’t matter. Caydon wants nothing to do with her anyway. There’s still hope.
“Fine,” Caydon mumbles. He really doesn’t want to go.
“Really?” Dammit.
“Yeah. If it means that much to you, I’ll fucking go. I was going anyway. I’m not going for her.”
It doesn’t mean that much to me. But it means something to her. “Thanks, man.”
Chapter Three
“He’s coming?” Her eyes are wide with excitement.
My heart breaks in half. “That’s what I said.” I lie on her bed drowning in misery and pink fluff. Seriously, her room looks like someone dumped bottles and bottles of Pepto-Bismol all over it. It’s nauseating.
Hannah flops down next to me laying her head in the crook of my armpit. Her left arm drapes across my chest. Her big blue eyes peer up at me. I have the sudden urge to wrap my arms around her and never let her go. However, my arms remain planted behind my head.
“I love you, Nash.” Say again?
My eyelids close. My nostrils let out a steady flow of air. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” She stares at me innocently.
“Tell me that you love me.” I choke down the lump in my throat.
“But, I do.”
“Then, why do you want him?” I don’t even say Caydon’s name. I can’t.
Hannah sits up and slides her legs across my pelvic area and straddles me. “I love you.” She emphasizes the word ‘love’. God, I hope she doesn’t try to dry fuck me again. “I want him because of Daddy.” What?
“What the fuck does your dad have to do with it?” I spit out.
She smirks. It appears like she is keeping a secret. “Daddy tells me what to do all of the time. He controls everything.” Don’t you do the same to me?
Leaning forward, she pulls my hands from behind my head and laces her fingers through mine.
“He also pays for everything,” I remind her.
We have it good. Not like Caydon. Caydon comes from a single parent household. He lives downtown in an area where there is a lot criminal activity going on. His mom struggles to provide for him and her. Caydon is reduced to tattooing people at parties and garages for a minimal amount of money that he hands over to his mom every chance he gets.
Hannah and I, on the other hand, live on the lakeside of town. Our lawns are manicured. Our parents are wealthy professionals. We want for nothing. And everyone knows it. We’re privileged.
“I know,” she says like it is expected.
“Okay, so what does Caydon have to do with your dad?” I wish she would get straight to the point.
“Daddy can’t tell me who to date.”
“Sure he can. You’re only fifteen.” He should tell her to date me.
“True. But he would never deny me anything that I want or choose.”
I think her dad would deny her what she wants. However, I’m not going to burst her bubble. Caydon doesn’t belong in our world. “You do realize that Caydon is not the type of guy your dad wants you with. Right?”
“Nash, what happened when my dad told me that I couldn’t play with Rosa?”
Rosa was a pleasant girl who attended middle school with us. She lived where Caydon lives. Hannah’s dad prohibited Hannah to play with Rosa at her house. Hannah didn’t like to be told no. Therefore, she snuck out of her house and took a bus to Rosa’s house.
Everyone thought Hannah went missing because no one could find her for six hours. Hannah’s dad contacted the police. As a favor to Hannah’s father, they conducted a small town search even though she hadn’t been missing for twenty-four hours. They found Hannah safe and happy at Rosa’s house.
Now, you would think that Hannah was punished. Nope. Didn’t happen. Instead, Hannah was granted supervised play dates with Rosa. Rosa didn’t seem to mind spending her time at a lakeside mansion. For Rosa, it was like summer camp. Hannah and Rosa swam, kayaked, and overdosed on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. In the end, Hannah got what she wanted.
This memory proves Hannah’s point well. Maybe her dad will accept Caydon. It won’t last. Hannah’s dad has Hannah’s life mapped out for her. In the end, her dad will win.
I twirl my fingers through her long, blond hair. “Hannah, do you ever think what it might be like if we were together?” Because I do…every goddamn day of my life.
“I’ll always save the best for last, Nash.” Her eyes twinkle like stars.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We’ll probably end up together,” she says nonchalantly, still twirling her hair.
“Probably?”
“Nash, what’s with all of the questions?” Her bottom half is causing an uncomfortable yet enticing friction in my crotch.
“I’m trying to understand you.”
“There’s nothing to understand.” Hannah sighs.
I sit up quickly, and she drops to the bed. I gawk at her because I just can’t fathom Hannah’s justification of the situation. “You are lying in bed with me, but you want him. And you say it’s because of your dad.”
I run my fingers through my hair and let out a sarcastic laugh. “Part of me thinks that true. But I know the real reason you want Caydon.”
“What reason is that?” Hannah is bored.
“Because everyone else wants him. And you haven’t had him yet,” I grind out.
“That’s not true!” Hannah squeals. She has a habit of overreacting.
“Oh no? Caydon’s indifference toward you doesn’t make you want him more?” I accuse.
“No.” There she goes…pretending as usual.
“Bullshit. Everything about him makes you want him. His confidence. H
e’s a challenge. He’s a mystery. And every girl in school has had him…except you. How does that make you feel, Hannah?” I’m really giving it to her now. Let me rub it in a little more. He’s the one thing that you can’t have.
Her mouth curves into a frown. “You’re being really mean.”
“Mean?” I laugh. “Mean is dry humping someone and then asking that person to ask their best friend to come to a party so you can get with them.” Fucked. Up.
Hannah jumps from the bed. Tears are beginning to form in her eyes. I can see the rage in her body. Her right hand slaps me across my face. She attempts to do it again. This time, I grab her hand before it makes contact with my skin.
Pushing her against the wall, I spit my words at her. “If you ever do that again, I will do it back.” Both of my hands have her arms pinned against the wall. My face is less than an inch away from hers. Truthfully, I want to hit her or kiss her. I’m not sure which. So, I do nothing.
Hannah feels my uncertainty and uses it against me. Her mouth curves into a seductive smile. Without warning, she assaults my mouth by kissing me in a way a fifteen-year-old boy should be kissed. Wild. Rough. Wet.
Her tongue dips in an out of my mouth for a few seconds before I participate in the kiss. Our faces crash together over and over again. I press my body against hers.
My length is ready to tear through my jeans. And I know she can feel it. Her leg slides up mine until her knee reaches my crotch. She uses her knee to caress my cock. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
I snap out of my aroused and horny state. She’s not going to humiliate me again to get her way.
I back away quickly, trying to catch my breath. Her arms reach for me in hopes of pulling me back. I push them down. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“What did I do wrong?” Nice try, sweetheart. It’s a poor attempt on her part to act innocent.
I turn my back to her and walk toward the door looking for a quick exit. I glance over my shoulder and mumble, “Caydon and I will be there tonight.” I slam the door behind me, feeling frustrated, alone, and pissed.
Chapter Four
I hate high school parties. High school kids base the success of a party by how wasted everyone gets. And you’re not wasted until you’re puking or unconscious. Fun.
Don’t forget about the crier. You know the one. She locks herself in the bathroom all night crying because her boyfriend looked at one of the hot chicks. Crying girl proceeds to get drunk off her ass to piss her boyfriend off. Next thing you know, she’s in the bathroom crying with her girlfriends denying access to anyone who needs to take a piss. To punish the eye-wandering boyfriend, crying girl hooks up with someone else. Eye-wandering douchebag starts a fight with ‘I just want a piece of ass’ guy to defend crying girl’s honor. Crying girl does what she does best. Cry. Again…fun.
A few things are for sure. Someone will cry. Someone will vomit. And most will end up fucking in a weird location.
When it comes to a high school party…no backyard or laundry room is safe from hook ups. No lawn or toilet is free of vomit. Awesome.
Don’t get me wrong. I had my fair share of puking and hooking up. I’m not judging. I just can’t stand being a part of it anymore. I want something more.
Last but not least, there will be a fight. No doubt. How do I know this? Well, it’s usually Caydon who is kicking someone’s ass. He has a switch on his shoulder that when it’s flipped, a hurricane is released. And there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.
Ah, high school parties…
Already, as I watch Caydon inhale the smoke from his cigarette, I see him scoping out the scene.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Trying to figure out which one of these asshole’s girlfriend I’m going to fuck tonight.” Caydon has his eye on a blonde that is draping off Musclehead’s arm.
Clearly, the blonde is Musclehead’s decoration. Somehow, that doesn’t seem to mean much to her or Caydon. She catches Caydon gawking at her. And even though she’s taken, she bats her eyelashes every second she gets. Whore.
I sigh, “He’s a big dude.”
Caydon is no match for Musclehead’s body. But, it’s not Caydon’s physique that will help him win a fight. It’s his power. The kid has been fighting all of his life. Other than tattooing, it’s the only other thing he does really well.
“Sure is.” Caydon is unfazed by the ripples of muscles on Musclehead.
I’m convinced Caydon is crazy. And I wonder to myself if Caydon is ever scared of getting his ass kicked. “I thought we were here to have a good time. Right?”
“I’m only here because you dragged my ass to this hell hole of a party,” he says dryly.
He’s right. I did. What the fuck for? Hannah.
“Maybe I can convince Hannah to leave with us when she gets here.” As if that will help my cause.
“And where are we going to take her? I doubt a girl like Hannah would enjoy hanging out in Harlow’s garage drinking beers and getting stoned.”
I laugh because it’s true. I just can’t picture Hannah parking her ass on a lawn chair in Harlow’s garage while the rest of us get high. “You’re right. She probably wouldn’t go for that.”
“Who wouldn’t go for what?” Hannah sneaks up behind me placing her hands over my eyes pretending to surprise me.
I smile because her presence brings me joy. “I was just saying that you wouldn’t want to hang out in Harlow’s garage.”
Hannah concentrates on Caydon. “Is that what you want to do?”
“Any place is better than here.” Something catches Caydon’s eye. Let the show begin.
Musclehead leaves Blondie by herself. Caydon watches his prey looking for any sign that it’s okay to approach. Sure as shit, Blondie winks at Caydon giving him the go ahead. Caydon beckons her by motioning his finger for her to move forward. Without hesitation, Blondie makes her way over to our little crowd.
Standing in front of Caydon with her hand on her curvaceous hips, Blondie introduces herself. “I’m Karmen.”
“Caydon.” That’s all he says. There’s no other pleasantries exchanged. Karmen and Caydon…isn’t that adorable…gag.
“You’re cute.” Karmen clicks her tongue and eye fucks Caydon.
“So I’ve been told.” Caydon is a cocky asshole when he wants to be. “Where’d Meathead run off to?”
Karmen laughs at the expense of her boyfriend. “He’s playing a card game. I’m sure he’ll be occupied for a long time.”
“Is that so?” This piques Caydon’s interest.
“Yeah.” Karmen presses herself against Caydon. She certainly doesn’t waste any time.
His hand interlocks with hers. Caydon unapologetically glares toward Hannah and me. “We’ll be back.” There is no explanation given. There’s none needed.
Caydon heads toward the outside of the house. I’m sure he’s planning on fucking her in a bush nearby. Classy.
Shock and horror show upon Hannah’s face. “You’re just going to let him go with that girl?”
“Yep.” Do you have a better plan? It’s like trying to stop a dog in heat.
As Hannah loses control, her nostrils flare and her lip quivers. “We had a deal, Nash. He’s not supposed to hook up with her.” Really? She still wants him.
“Hannah, I kept my word. I delivered Caydon to the party. The rest is his own free will.” My conscious is clear.
“Go after him,” Hannah orders. What?
“No. I’m not your bitch.”
“Yes.”
“No.” I want to pull my fucking hair out.
“Yes or I’ll hate you forever.”
Is she serious?
“Hate me, Hannah. He’s probably getting his stick wet by now. Do you think I’m going to interrupt something like that?” I don’t mean to be crude. It’s true. Caydon is probably balls deep inside Karmen by now. Hannah needs to know.
“Ugh!” Hannah screams. Frantically, she searches for anyon
e that can help her. To my dismay, she finds him. Karmen’s boyfriend is on the hunt. Shit.
Before I can stop Hannah, she is plowing through people to get to him. And there is nothing I can do to stop her. Still, I try.
With sheer determination, she storms up to Musclehead. “Hey!” she yells.
Musclehead rapes Hannah with his eyes devouring her like she is a piece of meat. “Can I help you with something?” he sneers.
Hannah bites her lip. I almost think she has lost her nerve. “Are you looking for Karmen?”
Musclehead is intrigued. I don’t know if his interest really lies with his girlfriend or with Hannah. “Maybe, I’m looking for her.” His chubby fingers caress Hannah’s cheek. “Maybe, I’m looking for you.” Aw…fuck no.
Hannah cringes from his touch. She’s shaking from his unwelcomed intrusion. Unable to watch, I step in front of her. Musclehead can easily pound me into the ground. I don’t care. I just want to keep Hannah safe. “She’s with me.”
His eyes start at my feet and slide up to my head sizing up the competition. There is none. He wins. Obviously, he’s bored with this conversation and with me. “Where’s Karmen?”
“I saw her leave with another guy. They walked toward the backyard.” Hannah has no problem selling Caydon and Karmen out.
I, on the other hand, feel like I’m reliving elementary school all over again. I feel my allegiance toward Caydon rise. “Hannah, shut it.”
Hannah is desperate. This time, Hannah shoves herself in front of me. She’s sandwiched between Musclehead and me. She points to the door leading to the backyard. “They went that way.”
Fuck.
Musclehead shoves me aside. He gets real close to Hannah’s face. Too close. “Don’t fuck with me.”
“I wouldn’t,” she stammers. “Fuck with you, I mean.”
Musclehead darts toward the door. I grab Hannah by her arms. “What the fuck are you doing?” At first, she’s frightened. Then, I see it. She’s fucking entertained by all of this. It’s a fucking game to her. Crazy.
“Relax, Nash. Caydon can handle himself.” Hannah is certain. I wish I were.