by Ella Col
Sweat forms at my brow. “He can. But, not when he’s buried inside of someone. You just gave Musclehead the advantage.”
For a second, Hannah appears to be worried. Quickly, she dismisses the anxiety. “Well, he shouldn’t have taken her from him anyway.” There’s a reason to get someone murdered.
Caydon is about to get annihilated. And Hannah doesn’t care. However, I do. Caydon doesn’t deserve this. I will prove my loyalty and friendship to him. I dash toward Musclehead and Caydon. Hannah calls after me, but I ignore her. Then, I hear her feet smacking the ground behind me.
Finally, I reach the outside. The spring air invades my nostrils. I scan the yard for the darkest, most private place a couple can be alone. I see it. There is a patch of land yards away from the house filled with garden bushes and flowers. I know that is where Caydon is.
Musclehead hasn’t caught on yet. He goes in the wrong direction. He believes the pool house is the hot spot. Of course he will find people fucking in there but it won’t be Caydon and Karmen.
I sneak into the garden area hoping I reach it before Musclehead figures out what is going on. Once I’m close, I begin to whisper Caydon’s name.
“Cay?” I whisper.
I start to panic a little. This time, I’m louder. “Cay?” There a moans coming from a garden bench blocked by a huge bush. I found them.
“Caydon,” I say with urgency. “Her boyfriend is coming.”
That’s all I need to say. I stumble amongst Caydon and Karmen. He removes her from his lap and tucks himself in and zips his pants. “Fuck, man. What’s up?”
Caydon knows that I know better than to interrupt him when he’s with a chick. “Her boyfriend is looking for you.”
Karmen slips her underwear back on and adjusts her skirt. “Shit.” Her eyes are shifting back and forth with worry.
Caydon runs his fingers through his hair. “Does he know where we are?”
“Not yet.”
Caydon looks at Karmen. “You came out here to take a piss because the bathroom was occupied.” He doesn’t ask her to go along with his story. Karmen shakes her head in agreement.
“What about you?” I ask.
“I was smoking a cigarette and she asked me to guard the garden for privacy.”
Damn, it’s like he had the story in place before he fucked her. It’s a good thing because Musclehead and Hannah appear out of nowhere.
Nothing looks out of the ordinary. Both Caydon and Karmen are dressed. And I’m standing with them like nothing ever happened.
Musclehead grabs me by the collar of my shirt. “Did you fucking warn them?”
Freaking out on the inside, I’m calm on the outside. “Nah, man. Nothing is going on here.”
Caydon hears the panic in my voice. He fears something is going to happen to me. “Let him go. I was doing your girl a favor.”
Musclehead jiggles me around a bit more by my shirt. “You expect me to believe that shit?”
“It’s true, Mario. I had to pee, and I couldn’t get into the bathroom. This guy helped me by making sure no one came back here while I was indecent.”
Mario the Musclehead lets me go. Whew!
I think he buys the story. He chuckles under his breath. “Time after time you do this to me Karmen. It’s always the same story.” Wait…what?
Apparently, Karmen does this a lot because Mario is not happy. Whore.
“I swear, Mario. It’s true this time.” This time?
“Shut up, Karmen.” Mario looks to Caydon for answers. “Do you know that I’m her boyfriend?”
Say ‘no’.
“I do now.” Caydon lights a cigarette, inhales and blows the smoke in Mario’s direction.
Mario is overcome by smoke. Nevertheless, he sniffs the smoke embracing the insult. “You’re a smartass. I don’t like you.”
Fuck, Caydon. Keep your mouth shut.
Caydon smirks and lets the smoke out from between his lips. “I don’t care.”
Shit.
Mario sadistically chuckles. “What’s your name, son?”
Caydon peers past Karmen so Mario can get a good look at him. “Caydon. And I’m no one’s son.”
Mario places his hands on his hips. “Caydon, I’m going to ask you one question…one question only. No lies. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” Caydon isn’t even breaking a sweat. Yet, I’m sweating profusely.
“Did you fuck my girlfriend?” Say ‘no’, Caydon.
Caydon gazes at Karmen. Karmen is beyond frightened. She’s terrified. However, lying isn’t going to do anyone any good. “Yup.” Aw…fuck me.
Mario swings his arm across his chest and then lets it go with full force backhanding Karmen. Dropping to the ground, she clutches her swollen face. Caydon plunges downward catching Karmen in his arms.
Something inside of me bursts open letting out all of the pent-up rage inside of me. I rush toward Mario using my shoulders to make contact with his waist. He falls to the ground, and I fall on top of him.
Immediately, we begin to wrestle each other. I’m losing. I’m no match for Mario. Someone is plucking me off of Mario, and I’m pushed aside. It’s Caydon to the rescue.
Caydon continues where I left off. However, he is faring much better. Like I said before…he can fight. Suddenly, Mario’s muscles seem useless. Caydon is on top of him pounding away.
I try to process what is happening right before my eyes. At first, I’m pissed at Caydon. He shouldn’t mess with other people’s girls. Then again, if Karmen was really his, there’s not a thing Caydon could have done to get her.
Still, I don’t see the worth in putting yourself in a situation where a guy is going psycho because his little princess ran off and hooked up with some guy she just met. Needless to say, Caydon needs my help.
Here and there, I kick Mario making sure he stays down long enough where Caydon has the advantage. After a short while, Mario is under control. Caydon gets up and is covered in sweat. On the other hand, he appears to be calm.
“Don’t hit your girl. Maybe if you treat her better, she wouldn’t go looking for guys like me,” Caydon warns.
Mario laughs and spits blood out. “Guys like you?” Mario snickers again. “You’re a dick. Literally. A dick. You’re a pole to slide up and down on when things don’t go her way. Girls like Karmen use guys like you to get guys like me flustered. She wants me to know that she can have anyone she wants. But she will always come back. Guys like you can’t give her what she really wants because you’re too poor.”
I’m surprised because Caydon doesn’t say a word. I think it’s because he knows that part of what Mario is saying is true. Caydon is poor. To me, it’s irrelevant. But in a neighborhood like this, it means everything. Caydon doesn’t belong.
Mario slides his backside along the ground and sits up. Slowly, he stands up wincing from the damage Caydon caused. “Karmen, let’s go,” Mario orders.
Obediently, Karmen grabs Mario’s hand, and he drags her away. She casts a sympathetic look over her shoulder in Caydon’s direction.
While all of the commotion took place, I didn’t hear a peep out of Hannah’s mouth. Not a word.
“How did he find me?” Caydon spits.
Rage. I see it in his eyes. Mario hit Caydon where it hurt. Being the poor kid is Caydon’s weak spot. Now, Caydon is out for blood.
I have two choices. I can lie for Hannah or I can sell her out. She deserves the latter. However, I need to protect her. Pussy.
I’m about to cover for her when she interrupts. “I told him where you were.”
“Hannah, I’m starting to get really sick and tired of you hunting me down. Stalk me all you want. I still won’t like you.” Caydon spits again near Hannah’s boot.
“Caydon, don’t blame her.” Sticking up for Hannah seems like the right thing to do even though it’s not.
“Should I blame you?” Seriously?
“I didn’t tell that douchebag anything.” I defend myself. “I tried to wa
rn you.”
“Tell me, Nash. What does it feel like to be a fucking doormat?” Caydon is hurt. He’s ready to lash out.
“What did you say to me?”
“You heard me. Every chance this little bitch gets; she uses it to walk all over you scraping off the shit and leaving it behind. She uses you, Nash.”
“Leave her out of this. When it comes down to it, I’ll choose her.” I will. Time and time again, I will choose Hannah.
Caydon scoffs and throws his head back. When he faces me again, he’s wearing a huge grin. He examines Hannah.
I don’t like the way he is eyeballing her. He’s in the process of spawning something in his mind. What? I don’t know.
Caydon strolls to where Hannah is standing. She waits with anticipation of Caydon’s next move. Hannah is buzzing with excitement. Goddamn, I can feel it.
Gently, he pushes her long, blond hair behind her ear and whispers something to her. The next thing I know is that her fingers are laced with Caydon’s and he’s walking away with her. What. The. Fuck.
“Where are you going?” I’m confused.
Caydon steals a quick peek at me. “You choose her. But she chooses me.”
Hannah heard the same words from Caydon that I’ve heard. She can’t possibly still want him after all of what he said. “Hannah, he just had sex with someone else fifteen minutes ago,” I say in disbelief.
Hannah whispers something to Caydon. Rushing back to me, she wraps her arms around my waist. And I’m relieved thinking she is coming back to me.
Hannah gives me a quick peck on the cheek. Facing me, her hands drop from my waist and take my hands. “I’m allowed to like him, Nash. And I do like him. This is what I want.”
Helplessly, I watch the girl I love run to my best friend. “Caydon, what are you doing? You don’t even like her.”
There’s a twinge of regret in his expression. Turning around one last time, he says, “Proving a point.”
Chapter Five
I wish I could stop thinking about her. Hell, I wish I could stop thinking about him.
She chose him. I guess I should have believed her when she said she wanted him. However, it still blows my mind that she could walk off with someone who clearly doesn’t want her…let alone who had just fucked someone seconds before.
Then, there’s Caydon. My best friend. “Proving a point.” Those were his last words to me. What point? That he could have her? Bullshit.
It doesn’t matter. All that is left is me. I have no one. Hannah is gone. Caydon is gone. And I’m alone.
It’s three in the morning. Looking out my window that faces her house, my eyes drift to her bedroom. The lights are off. I wonder if she is home. I wonder if she is thinking of me. I wonder if Caydon is in her bedroom. Christ, it’s fucking eating me alive.
This is the first night in seven years that I haven’t snuck into her bedroom. And it’s painful. I gave my heart to Hannah when I was five years old. Last night, she gave it back to me…broken and useless. Now, I’m left with a useless organ that is keeping me alive even though I am already dead.
R.I.P. Heart.
Everything about last night is a shock to me. When I left the party, I found this big empty open field. I walked into the middle of it and fell to my knees and I cried. I have never felt that kind of hurt. It feels horrible. I don’t know what to do.
Finally, I realized that I had spent more than an hour in that field, so I picked myself up off the dirt and cleaned myself off the best that I could.
Damn, I’m trying to not be in love with her anymore. I know it’ll take more time. I don’t necessarily want to stop loving her because I’ve loved her for so long. I know I should for the sake of saving our friendship. Otherwise, I’m just going to destroy it because I’m such an emotional idiot. It’s so hard to let go.
The worst part is Caydon’s betrayal. He’s been a good friend to me…until tonight. I counted on him to do the right thing with Hannah. Ignore her. Is that so much to ask?
There’s a hope in my heart that he’s doing this for me. Part of me knows that he is.
I decide to text Caydon mostly because I can’t take it anymore. I need to know what is going on with them.
‘Dick move. Are you still with Hannah?’ ~Nash
I place my phone on my nightstand in anticipation that he won’t answer back.
‘You don’t have to sign your name. I know it’s you.’
‘Well…R…U?’
‘Took her home at midnight. #curfew’
‘Why’d you do it?’
‘To prove to you that she’s a user. Player. Not even friendship material, dude.’
‘Neither are you.’
‘Trying to be.’
‘Did you hook up?’
There’s a long pause. Caydon doesn’t answer right away. ‘Just kissed.’
My heart drops to my stomach. ‘Fuck you.’
I silence my phone and slam it down on the nightstand.
He kissed her. My best friend’s mouth was on Hannah’s mouth. I’m fuming mad. So mad that I decide to climb into Hannah’s window and confront her. Seems like a good plan.
I storm across the street and scale the side of the house using my faithful tree and strong branches. I use one of the branches to scrape the window to alert Hannah that I’m there. Without fail, she lets me in.
I stand on her puke pink carpet just staring at her. This is the part where I accuse her of cheating on me. Except that she didn’t. Hannah would have to be my girlfriend for it to be considered cheating.
“You’ve been crying.”
She can tell. Dammit.
“I didn’t come here to talk about me.” I didn’t. I came here for one reason only. I want to hear that she kissed him. I need to hear her say it. “Did you kiss him?”
Hannah bites her bottom lip. She’s nervous. “Yes, I did.”
I huff, “Well, was it everything you dreamt it would be?”
Hannah walks backward until the back of her legs reaches her mattress. She flops into a sitting position on her bed. “It was more.”
Caydon doesn’t strike me as a gentle guy in the sack. I’m wagering that he goes right for the boob only after a few minutes. “Really?”
“Why do you want to know? It won’t change anything, Nash.” If I were a betting man, I’d bet that Hannah is feeling a little guilty for leading two guys on.
I kneel in front of her resting my hands on her hips. “He doesn’t want you.”
“He does. He just doesn’t know it yet,” Hannah explains. Hannah places her hands over mine. “Caydon is mysterious…yes. He keeps me guessing all of the time…like why every guy wants me except him. It’s exciting to reel him in, Nash. It’s new.”
“So, not knowing what you are getting into is intriguing? He won’t commit to you…ever. You’ll always chase after him,” I warn her.
“I’m up for it.”
Chase. Drama. Intrigue. Got it.
“Nash, I don’t want to hurt you. You are everything that I want…in a long-term relationship…when I’m older.” She begins to cry. “God, you are so good to me. You’re nice and sensitive. Caydon is confident and strong.”
Is she calling me weak? A wimp? A nice guy? Ouch.
“So, that’s it? I’m not masculine enough for you?”
She’s crying harder. “I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to.” I see the look of pity on her face.
Suddenly, I get the most idiotic idea I’ve ever had. It is, by far, the worst solution to this problem. “I’ll fight for you.” Yep. Stupid fucking idea.
“What?”
“You heard me. I’m going to fight Caydon for you. If I win, you’ll be with me.”
She’s skeptical. “No. You’ll get hurt. I’ve seen Caydon fight.”
“You’ve never seen me fight. And I’ll be fighting for you.”
Hannah sulks. “This is a bad idea.” Tell me about it.
It is. The worst. Yet,
I have the chance to win Hannah back…my Hannah. The opportunity is knocking for me to show her that I am the man that she wants to be with.
“You’re worth it.”
Hannah giggles. There’s a spark in her eye. “I am.” There’s no lack of confidence.
If there is one thing I know about Hannah, it is that she loves attention…good or bad. “What makes you think Caydon will want to fight for me?”
“He won’t have a choice.”
I kiss Hannah on the head and slip out her bedroom window. Once my feet hit the ground, I send the text.
‘Cay, meet me at Warner Field tomorrow at 4…we have unfinished business.’
***
Caydon shows up. I knew he would. He’s here for me…not Hannah. “Wanna tell me what we are doing here?” Smug bastard.
A crowd from the high school has begun to form. Most of the kids form a circle naturally creating an arena. I observe the mob. They just want a fight. They don’t care that it’s really a tragedy…a break down of relationships…love and friendship.
Caydon continues to talk because I have yet to verbally acknowledge him. “So, I hear we are fighting today. It’s news to me,” he says and shrugs.
Finally, I find the courage to say something. “We all knew this would happen.” I knew it.
“Not me. I’m not fighting you, Nash.” Caydon is adamant. “You can have her.”
I have to find a way to anger him. He won’t fight me unless he’s beyond pissed off. I have to hit him below the belt. I have to push him into battle. Hurt or be hurt.
“This isn’t about her anymore. It’s about me. I’ve been hanging out with filth way too fucking long, man. It ends today.”
“Filth? Are you for fucking real?” Caydon spits. “You’re fucking delusional. Look at what you are doing. Remember who you are.”
“You’ve been leeching off of us for far too many years. I’m done with it.” I see the hurt and disbelief on my friend’s face. It almost makes me stop. Then, I see her. And I forget every decent part of me. “You’re trash, Caydon. You’ll always be trash.” Kevin is gone. Nash is born.
I see him struggle with my words. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down. He looks to Hannah. For the first time ever, I see compassion on her face, and it’s not for me.