by Ella Col
Reece faces me and sighs. “Thank you. Sorry I overreacted.” I think I see a smile forming. “What’s this about me cooking for you?”
“Long story.” I’m exhausted at this point. “I met a girl. I asked her to dinner. I don’t date. I don’t cook. I’m in deep, deep shit. I need help.”
“Let me guess,” she snorts. “You asked these fools what to do?”
“Yes,” I say with exasperation.
“That was your first mistake.” Don’t I know it!
“I realize the error of my ways. Will you help me?” I fall to my knees and throw my hands together begging for help.
Reece frowns at me. “Get up. This scene is pathetic.”
I stand up and give her a sad face. “Please.”
“I will help you. But you have to promise me something.”
“Anything.” I say.
“Learn how to become a gentleman.” I thought I was. Reece can see the steam puffing from my ears. “For example, asking your date if she wants to perform a sexual favor on you is not polite on the first date. Let her get to know the real you.”
“The real me? I’m Nash.” I laugh it off. I ask girls to fuck me. They do. It’s that simple.
“No, you’re Kevin. You’re the little boy who tried to make me feel comfortable in school. You’re the man who helped Caydon when he needed it even when he treated you like dirt. You’re the guy who loved a girl so much that he looked past all of her ugliness in hopes that she would see the real you,” Reece says sweetly. “And that’s the guy you are going to be tomorrow night when you have your first date.”
Damn.
If Caydon doesn’t marry this girl, I will.
With a drunken slur, Caydon tries to taunt me. “He’s a dick. Just like we all are.” He follows the joke with a snicker.
Reece smacks him across the back of the head. “Really? Like you’re not in enough trouble right now, Caydon.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles and continues to flick the control buttons on his remote.
“And you,” she points at Shorty. “I can’t wait until Maria finds out what you did.”
“I was thinking we could tell her that it was your idea to volunteer her to help,” Shorty says.
“No,” Reece draws out.
“Dammit,” Shorty mutters.
“And we are all helping tomorrow night. Got it?” Reece orders.
Like obedient dogs, we nod in agreement.
Chapter Sixteen
My fork drops on my plate for the fourth time making a clanking sound that startles everyone at the table. I’m so goddamn nervous I can barely eat. I’m trying to focus on Jamie and not the food.
Jamie doesn’t seem to mind that I had my friends help with dinner. In fact, she seems to enjoy their company.
Caydon seems a little off, though. And that worries me. Once he realized Jamie is Hannah’s cousin, he became very quiet and withdrawn. I want to know what’s on his mind. I follow him out on my balcony as he smokes a cigarette while everyone is eating dessert.
“You’re quiet.”
“Nah, man. Just smokin’.” He’s hiding something.
“Spill it.”
A long puff of smoke leaves Caydon’s lips. “It’s probably nothing.”
“If it’s nothing, then just say it.”
His brown eyes darken, and he pushes his black hair across his forehead. “Hannah used to visit Jamie every summer up until a few years ago. From what I know, it was something they did from the time they were toddlers. They were tight, like best friends.”
“And?” So what? They were close. Now they’re not.
“It stopped. When I asked Hannah why she never visited her cousin anymore, she said something bad happened. Hannah cried a lot but never said what it was.”
“Teenage girls are bat-shit crazy, Cay. And they hold onto shit for a long time.” I laugh it off. “I know there is no love lost between Hannah and Jamie. Truth is, I don’t give a shit. Hannah loves drama. Whatever it is between them, I’m sure Hannah played a huge role in that play.”
Cay smiles, knowing I speak the truth. “True. True,” he sighs. “Except Hannah was torn up about whatever happened. I mean…she was emotionally wrecked. It seemed real.”
I like Jamie. I like that she’s says exactly what she feels. I like that she is comfortable around my friends. I like her confidence. That’s it. I like her. If something did happen between Hannah and Jamie, it is between them.
“Cay, it means a lot that you are looking out for me. But this is my first date with the girl. I’m not about to get involved with the family drama.” I want to enjoy my time with Jamie. There is no room for drama. Hannah supplied enough drama to my life that will last forever.
Cay flicks his butt over the balcony. “I think Jamie was in rehab for a while, dude. At least, I think it was rehab. And it wasn’t voluntary.”
“Rehab for what?” I’m baffled. When I met Jamie, she was puffing a joint and downing champagne. However, there was no sign of a ‘problem’.
“Who the fuck knows?” Caydon is of no help to me.
“Hannah.”
“Don’t go there. If you ask Hannah for information, it will cost you. If you like this girl, then ask her. Wait until the time is right,” Caydon advises me.
“Thanks, man.” I lean into him and hug him while slapping him on the back.
“I’ll round up the troops so you can have alone time with Jamie.” Caydon gets the hint that I only needed a jumpstart to the night. I got the rest. Jamie. Naked. My bed. Yeah, I’m a pig.
Don’t fuck on the first date. Don’t fuck on the first date. Yeah, this is going to be harder than I thought.
***
“So, dinner was awesome.” Jamie lies on my couch like she’s right at home. She looks good on my couch. “Your friends are cool, too.”
They are cool. “Yeah, I don’t know how I would have pulled this off without them.”
My fucking god, she’s so damn sexy. Jamie lies on her back with her arm resting on the back of my couch. Her other arm holds a glass of white wine. Rehab.
Jamie sips the wine slowly. “It’s funny. I didn’t expect Caydon to look like…well…Caydon.”
“Why?” What in the hell did she expect? Was she attracted to him?
“Hannah told me that he had a few tattoos and piercings. Nothing like what I saw tonight. And he’s really nice. She said he had a temper.” Jamie looks at me out of the corner of her eye.
“Keyword…had. And he’s added to his collections of tats and piercings through the years,” I clarify.
“She never loved him,” Jamie blurts out.
That was unexpected. “Why are you telling me this?”
“She never loved you, either.” Ouch.
“Again, why?” I bite out. I know Hannah never loved me. I knew it when I was fifteen. But I was a kid then. And the thought that Hannah couldn’t or wouldn’t love me shattered me.
Jamie places her glass of wine on a coaster. “You and Caydon are good people. Good inside. Good outside. I just wanted you to know that if you ever had a doubt or if you wanted to excuse Hannah then you at least had the correct information.”
My past has made me better, not bitter. But it’s time to let it go. “I realize what Hannah is. And I’m ready to leave her behind me. The real question is, are you?”
“What?” she says.
“I want to go one day without hearing Hannah’s name. I want to forget all the bad things that she did…that I did…that Caydon did.” I slide next to her on the couch and place my arm around her shoulder.
Jamie rolls her head to the side and chokes down what she would like to say. Instead, she says, “It’s easier said than done, Nash. She took way more from other people than she did from you.”
I place my hand on her cheek and caress it. “What did she take from you?” I whisper, leaning into her and touching her lips with mine.
Jamie’s breath escapes her mouth. Her lips respond to mine the exa
ct way I want them to…aggressively and hungrily. So, I snatch her lips and latch on gently, popping my tongue in and out of her sweet mouth.
I leave her lips and sink my teeth into her neck. Pulling her to my lap, I wrap my arms around her small waist. Without missing a beat, she straddles me. I enjoy the closeness of her heat on my rock hard cock.
Her hands grab my face, and she forces me to look at her…stare at her. And I can’t break away. I’m intimidated, yet I can’t look away from her hypnotizing, green eyes. I can’t keep my eyes off of her. Within seconds, I’m downright obsessed with her.
I lose my breath for a second, getting drunk off of her guilty innocence. There is something behind those eyes. Something I need to see. She’ll fight me on it. I can tell. I won’t give up.
My dick is imploring with me to break eye contact and aide in his relief. Selfish prick.
I kiss Jamie so hard that I know I’m bruising her plush lips. She moans in my mouth, so I know she’s feeling it. My arms tighten around her. I know when I have to let her go, they will protest.
Sweat forms on my skin and my clothes feel way too tight. I have to get them fucking off. Now.
Don’t fuck on the first date. Don’t fuck on the first date.
I rip myself from Jamie mostly to cool down. I’m so goddamn hot. “Don’t fuck on the first date,” I whisper.
“What?” Jamie struggles to hear my voice.
“Nothing.”
“Did you just say don’t fuck on the first date?” Jamie cocks her eyebrow. Her hand runs down my throat.
Fuck.
“I did,” I sigh. “I would love to tell you that I’m a gentleman. The truth is…I’m the furthest fucking thing from that.”
“Nash, you’re way too hard on yourself. You’ve been nothing but kind to me.” Jamie tries to ease my insecurities.
“I’m a fucking pig. The only thing I can think of right now is screwing your fucking brains out on this couch.” Nice delivery, asshole.
Jamie adjusts herself on my lap. The new position doesn’t provide any relief for my dick. “Girls are just like guys. Do you honestly think that I don’t want to have sex with you?”
“That’s the problem, Jamie. I know you want me as much as I want you. We can fuck and do it well. Then what? We fuck a little more. Pretty soon, that’s all we do. And that’s all we have…fucking. There is no substance between us. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I just know how to make you come. And you know how to make me blow my shit.” I lack finesse explaining our impending future. Hell, I intended to.
“You make it sound so dirty,” Jamie jokes.
My chest vibrates with a chuckle. “Yeah, well, I have a way with words.”
“Clearly.” Jamie laughs. Her face darkens while she thinks for a moment. “What if you get to know me, and you don’t like me. You’re missing out on the best part of me.”
“The best part of you?” I accuse. “No, Jamie. Something tells me that you haven’t even let me see that part of you yet. Sex is just the icing on the cake with you.”
A shy smile creeps up from her darkened expression. “I’m a little fucked-up, Nash. I’m giving you a warning…a get out of jail free card. Get out while you can.”
“Join the club, Jamie. Do you think that you’re the only one who is fucked-up? Maybe I am, too.”
This girl is scared shitless. I’d love to know why. Hell, I’d love to know why I fucking care. All I know is that I do care. I want to be there for Jamie. I want her to be in my life.
We’ve hardly spent any time together. Yet, I know I want to spend more with Jamie. Fucked-up or not.
“Not as fucked-up as I am.” The guilt pours through her skin.
I caress her face and nip at her lips. “Stop it. If you’re trying to scare me away, it won’t work.”
“Stupid boy.”
“Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I know that you might wreck me. Something tells me that you’re going to be worth it.” Whatever Jamie has to tell me won’t scare me away.
I don’t touch Jamie the way I’d like to tonight. There is going to be plenty of time for that. I want her to know that she’s different…that I’m going to take my time with her. Hopefully, in time, she will trust me.
Chapter Seventeen
I’m testing Jamie. I’m a fighter. It’s what I do for a living. The woman I choose to be with will have to accept that I get my ass kicked for a living. So, I have to be choosy when it comes to a partner. Most girls can’t understand how someone can enjoy something that physically hurts them.
Having a relationship with me will depend on her strength and confidence as a woman. Being with a fighter is not easy at all. It takes a lot of mental stability, a lot of trust, and definitely a lot of love.
There are a lot of sacrifices involved. For example, foregoing spending quality time together and knowing that your relationship isn’t normal is just a tidbit.
My future girlfriend must take into consideration that I can be very moody before a fight but still need support at all times nonetheless. I train six days a week for five hours at a time. I need my rest, which means I take time away from her.
It takes a really special woman to put up with all of this. And Jamie is the one I want to ask to do all of this.
“So, explain this to me again. I’m supposed to enjoy watching you get rocked in the cage?” Jamie follows me into my dressing area.
My lopsided smile says it all. “Yeah.”
“Do you enjoy it?” She questions my sanity.
“Getting fucked up?” I laugh. “No. I love to win. However, there is always a possibility that I won’t win and an ass kicking is inevitable.”
“And you’re confident that you’ll beat your competitor tonight?” There’s hope in her voice.
“Yeah,” I think I am. I fought him once before and won. This time, I’m stronger and have more skills.
“And this will lead you closer to the big competition?”
“Yes. Every local win will get me more sponsors. And since my family will not support my career, I have to gain as many sponsors as possible,” I tell her.
“Does it bother you that they won’t help you financially?” Her pretty face twists into a sorrowful frown.
I stand in front of my dressing room mirror and look at myself. I’m solid. I train, teach, and compete. I wish my family were always supporting me in whatever I do through the ups and downs. But that’s not the case.
The fact that I’m doing this on my own financially makes me proud. I made a life decision that I know I believe in. And I’m making it happen…without my family.
“No.” It’s an honest answer. “At first, I was pissed. Mostly, because I feel like my dad doesn’t believe in me. Now, it doesn’t really matter. I’m making it work…on my own.”
“I’m kind of in awe.” Jamie winks at me.
I summon her with my finger. “Come here.”
Jamie shuffles toward me. Without any hesitation, I grab her bottom lip with my teeth. She moans and bites me back.
I have admiration for people that can stick with a fighter. It’s such a selfish sport. I saw so many relationships fail among my team fighters. For some reason, I don’t want to see Jamie run away from this.
“Stick with me.” I touch my forehead to hers. “Please.” My feelings for Jamie are strong. And I can’t fight them. Ironic, I know.
“What am I sticking to, Nash?” Jamie whispers.
“I have no money. I fight for a living. My apartment is a piece of shit. Your cousin, for all intents and purposes, and I had a sexual relationship spanning over five years. When I first met you, I couldn’t stop staring at your tits. And that may be the case now. I can only offer you truth. I swear too much. I joke around too much. And I know nothing about wooing a girl.” There it is. It’s all I can offer.
“Well, when you put it that way,” she laughs. “How could I possibly reject someone like you?”
I let out a hearty chuckle. Shit, Jamie should
be running for the door after that little confession. She’s not, though. Awesome for me.
“Are you ready to see me fight?” I can’t wait for Jamie to see me where I’m most comfortable…in the ring.
“I’m not going to lie. I like your pretty face. If something happens to it, I’m most likely never going to watch you fight again.”
I can live with that. Hell, at least she’s honest.
***
Thank god, I won the fight. It was tough, but I did it. And Jamie was there every step of the way.
I was so focused on the competition; I never saw her cringe or wince every time I took a hit. I’m thankful for that.
People who are not close to the process have no idea about the mental hurdles, the waves of self-doubt, that need to be overcome; the physical pain endured simply to train and keep training…to fight and keep fighting. Therefore, having Jamie jump on board this mission is that much sweeter.
I’ve heard many guys who fight complain that they are not supported in their path by their girlfriend or wife. If you love your partner, you really have to love their passion and their process. When they step into that ring, it is one of the most beautiful moments in the world.
As a fighter, we can’t have our girlfriend or wife fear our injury. We need to feel that our girlfriend can see our transformation. That is what we are doing. We are going into the fire to transform ourselves. Each time we come out of the ring we are a new person. All we need is someone to love who we are becoming. And we will become more.
Sweat is pouring off my face. I’m sitting on the bench in my dressing room. This is the time where I reflect on my fight. Usually, I’m alone, and I like it that way. Tonight, Jamie sits on the other side of the bench. She doesn’t say a word. It’s almost as if she is mulling over her thoughts…trying to process what happened.
We sit in silence for a long time. It’s a comfortable silence. Finally, I break it. “I’m going to shower.”