by Ella Col
Yeah, I should have said more. But I couldn’t. My adrenaline is pumping. I’m replaying each round over and over again in my head.
As I head toward the shower, I contemplate whether or not I should have left Jamie alone and waited to take my shower at home. I didn’t even take the time to see her respond. Dick.
I let the hot, steamy water run over my naked body. I’m not sore yet, but for damn sure I will be tomorrow.
My eyes close as I let the hot water run over my face. The water runs down my body washing away the sweat and blood from my opponent.
When I reach for the soap, it’s not there. I could have sworn I put it directly in front of me. I turn around thinking it may be behind me.
“Looking for this?” Jamie stands in the stall wearing absolutely nothing at all and holding my bodywash.
Fuck, yeah.
My god, the girl is a fucking vision. Everything about her is fucking perfect. Her long brown hair dangles across her breasts allowing the nipples to peek out every time she shakes her head. Her smooth, tan stomach clenches each time she looks at me.
Without saying a word, my right arm wraps around her waist sliding her to me. My mouth lunges for hers. Twisting and entwining together, our tongues dance.
I rotate our bodies so the water trickles down Jamie’s faultless body. Goddamn, it looks even better wet.
My rough, calloused hands roam over her wet, beautiful breasts. Every now and again, I allow my thumb to slide over her erect nipples, eliciting a dainty growl from her lips. My tongue slides down her neck, nipping and licking the drops from the water. Each nibble drives Jamie insane begging for me to touch her.
She places her hand over my hand that is kneading her breast. Looking me in the eye, she pleads for me to touch her.
“Nash,” she gasps. “Please feel me.”
She’s going to have to do better than that. I want to know exactly where and how she wants to be touched. “Tell me,” I pant.
“Touch me.” She forces my hand from her tit to the insides of her thighs. “Fucking rub me there.”
Hell, yeah.
My fingers slide between her folds seeking her clit. The way Jamie is moaning, you’d think I’d already found it. It’s like music to my ears.
Using the slickness between her legs, I slide my fingertips to her clit and rub it in a circular motion. Utilizing my other hand, I push her against the tiles of the shower stall.
I suck on her neck and bite her as I use my fingers to bring her pleasure. She begins to buck against my hand. “It feels so good. Please don’t stop rubbing.”
“I won’t, baby.” My cock is so fucking hard it is hitting my belly.
I want to fuck her so badly against the shower stall. However, I don’t want to ruin us already. So, I do the next best thing.
My fingers glide from her clit to the inside of Jamie. I watch as her head falls back against the tiles and her mouth makes an ‘O’ shape. The strands of her hair are wet and sticking to the side of her face. It’s the most erotic thing I have ever seen in my life.
“Pretend like you’re fucking me, Nash,” Jamie whines as I finger fuck her.
I know what she wants. She wants a sneak peek of what fucking would be like with me. And I want to show her. Wild. Fast. Hard.
My fingers move at a pace that will bring Jamie to extreme pleasure in a few moments. They are moving so fast that I can hear the sound of her skin thumping against the shower stall. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Hooking my finger in a ‘C’ shape and reaching her spot, I rub her from the inside. Jamie grasps my shoulders anchoring against me. I begin to feel her walls close in. Her lips clamp onto my neck. My fingers slip out of her and furiously rub her clit allowing her to come undone.
She whines my name out in ecstasy. “Nash!”
As she calms, I lick and suck the water from her skin. Her mouth hangs open trying to extract as much air as she can from the steam-filled shower. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
Her hand removes the wet strands of hair that stuck to her gorgeous face. “You make me feel beautiful.”
I smile into her lips and kiss her. My hard-on pokes her at stomach. It’s not like I can control it. It doesn’t take her long to realize my dilemma.
Jamie’s hand snakes down my chest to my cock. She grips me hard but with care. I gasp with anticipation. Her green eyes follow my reaction. I’m fucking excited as hell. It’s been a while since a woman has touched me. My hand is just not cutting it.
“How do you like it?” she asks.
“However you want to give it, Jamie.” Seriously, she could yank it off at this point, and I wouldn’t care as long as I come.
Softly she strokes me. Up and down. Up and down. The water adds slickness to her technique that can only be described as fucking fantastic.
I begin thrusting in her hand. Her tongue penetrates my mouth. My thumbs caress her taut nipples and she strokes me over and over again. “Fuck, Jamie.”
As she takes my length in her hand, I whisper to her over and over again how fucking incredible her hand feels against my skin. With each thrust, she follows my lead, beckoning me to come. “One day, I’m going to fuck you, Jamie. I’m going to fuck you hard,” I promise.
My rhythm quickens and I begin to leak onto her hand. “I’m going to fucking come,” I warn her. Pushing her hand away, I take my cock into my own hand and rub. My stomach starts shaking. Shallow breaths leave my mouth as I gasp and come into the rain of water. “Shit,” I grunt.
Clean up is a breeze. Thank god for that. It’s the aftermath of what we’ve done that I’m confused about.
I hold onto Jamie’s naked body and sway into the hot water. She grips my shoulders tightly as if I’m the only thing that is keeping her grounded.
“I won’t let you fall.” I have no idea what I’m saying. However, I know that Jamie needs to know that I will be there for her no matter what.
Chapter Eighteen
Three Weeks Later
As I sit on the bar stool, I ponder about how many dates is considered acceptable before a couple has sex. No one has been able to give me an answer. Everyone has just said that I will know when I’m ready and the number of dates doesn’t matter. Needless to say, I would have fucked Jamie on the first date if I thought it was acceptable.
“Oh no. What are you thinking about?” Reece asks.
I take a long sip of my beer. “You don’t want to know.”
The soft pink and purple lights glowing on the wall are meant to be sleek, sexy, and simple. There is nothing sexy or hip about this place. It’s a bar. And I’d rather not be here. The music pulsates throughout while the sexy ladies and dudes cram the bar to sip neon drinks that match the lights on the tables and walls.
The dining room floor transforms into a makeshift dance floor. As the music takes over and the hips start swaying, beautiful people groove to the music. There is only one beautiful person on my mind. Jamie. And she is not here…yet.
“Let me guess. You have Jamie on your mind,” Reece teases.
“Am I that transparent?” I ask.
“You have the face of a guy who has been pussy whipped.” Caydon doesn’t hold back. “Stop watching the door. Staring at it won’t make her appear.” Asshat.
“This is coming from a guy who never goes anywhere without her.” I point to Reece. “Bars. Strip clubs. Eagle’s games. The fucking dentist.” Caydon doesn’t respond because it’s true.
“So, what’s with the serious face?” Reece dismisses both of us.
“I really like her.” That’s all I say. Again, I stare at the door waiting for Jamie to walk through.
Jamie is a nurse’s assistant. The clinic she works at closes later than most to cater to the people who work shifts. She’s running later than usual.
I breathe a sigh of relief when she rushes through the door. Then my mood quickly deflates.
Something is off. I can tell she’s been crying.
Fuck. I hate it when girls
cry. That’s no secret. It makes me uncomfortable. I just want to make her feel better or at least make her feel okay about it.
Do I say everything’s going to be okay? Even though I don’t know if it will be.
“Go to her.” Reece nudges me.
I stumble off my stool and dash to her. She wraps herself around me sobbing into my neck.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
“Just take me home…your home. Please,” Jamie begs me.
I came here with Caydon and Reece under the assumption we would double date. I’m sure they will understand if I bail. My head swings in their direction.
“They can come back to your apartment, too,” Jamie offers. “I just can’t be here right now.”
“Okay,” I agree.
Within minutes, we are walking to my apartment. I hang back with Caydon while he smokes a cigarette. Reece and Jamie walk in front of us.
“What’s up with her?” Caydon asks.
“She didn’t say.” I’m just as baffled as Caydon.
“It’s fucking weird.”
No, shit.
Caydon and I walk in silence, neither of us knowing what to do or say.
“Maybe you should tell her a joke.” Caydon is dense sometimes.
I don’t think now is the time to try to be funny or make her laugh. However funny I think I am, divide that by two. and that’s about how funny I really am.
“No.” I shake my head. Dumbass.
“What happened, Jamie?” Reece asks.
Jamie peeks over her shoulder at me. I give her a lopsided grin to let her know that I’m here and listening.
“Hannah.” It’s all Jamie has to say.
“What did she do?” I bark. Caydon places his hand on my shoulder.
“She called the clinic. Someone saw me out with you a few times. She called to harass me. That’s all.” Jamie gives Reece a weak smile. “She’s just trying to get to me. I’m overreacting.”
“I hate that bitch,” Caydon interjects. This…Caydon and I agree on.
Typical Hannah. She sees happiness and wants to squash it. Jealousy has ruined every relationship she’s ever had. It’s childish. It has poisoned all of her thoughts and actions. Hannah is hateful and paranoid. It has exposed her insecurities and self-loathing.
“I will talk to her, Jamie.” I’m the only one who can settle this.
“No!” Jamie squeals.
“Let them handle their issues, Nash.” Reece takes Jamie’s arm and pulls her ahead of Caydon and me so we can’t hear their conversation.
“What do you think I should do?” I ask Caydon.
“Stay the fuck away from Hannah. I told you long ago, and I will tell you again. She’s no good,” Caydon warns me.
We enter the elevator of my apartment building. I can’t get Jamie’s face out of my head. Hannah must have really rattled her. And Jamie doesn’t strike me as the type of girl that is afraid of anyone.
I’m worried Hannah is some unstable, high-conflict, abusive personality disordered woman. I wonder if Hannah is using abusive behaviors and tactics to frighten, intimidate, guilt, blackmail, and manipulate Jamie into not dating me.
Reece takes Jamie to my bathroom, helping her get it together. I sit on the couch with Caydon, clueless on what to do to make this better.
“Do you like her, Nash?” Caydon asks me.
“Yeah, dude. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be spending time with her.” It’s a no brainer.
“No,” Caydon sighs and throws himself back into the cushion. “I mean…do you like her…like…really like her.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “Yeah. She’s different.” I smile. “I see something with her. I just don’t know what it is.”
“You mean she gets your seventh grade sense of humor and doesn’t get offended when you tell misogynistic jokes as an insecurity reflex.” Caydon’s chest vibrates with laughter.
“It’s a plus that she’s cool with me being a dipshit.”
“Tell her.” Caydon gets serious. “Jamie needs to know that she’s not like Hannah. She needs to know that she’s not like all the other chicks you’ve banged. She’s scared of something that could make her lose you.”
“We haven’t put rules on our relationship, Caydon.”
“Rules are what help dudes likes us learn how to make sense of the women we are dating and make sense of the relationships we have with those women. When the rules get bent into weird irregular verbs, dudes feel like they’ve just been kicked in the balls. Take your relationship with Hannah.” Caydon is a man of dating wisdom. “You were Mr. I’m Boning Everyone plus Hannah. I don’t think Jamie is going to be okay with you sliding your dong into a different mouth every night.”
Caydon is right. I have constant access to tons of available women who will fuck me. It was really fun to nail just about all of them. With Jamie in the picture, it doesn’t seem all that appealing. “What you are trying to say is that I can’t give her one of my ‘fuck buddy’ stickers?”
“Stop being a cockface.” Caydon can’t contain his grin. “If you like her, then make some rules. Rules will make her feel secure.”
Rules.
“As in make a commitment?” I never said I was bright. Relationships are foreign to me.
“You really are some kind of special, aren’t you?” Caydon jokes. “I didn’t say marry the girl. Just make an outline of where this is going. For example, ‘you can tell me anything because I’m not going anywhere’ type shit.”
“Oh.”
“That’s your cue, idiot. You can tell that you both are big on each other in that cute rather myopic youth-driven romance kind of way even though we never had sex kind of way. Relieve my girlfriend from the bathroom and take control of this situation.” I don’t know why Caydon has to spell this out for me. It’s helpful.
“Will you be here when we get back?” I ask.
“Fuck, no. I’m taking Reece back to my place to have some alone time.” Caydon winks at me. He pushes me up from the couch. “Go get her, tiger.”
Slowly, I knock on the door. Reece peeks her head out. “Is she alright?”
“Yes, just a little embarrassed for losing it.” Reece tells me.
“Can I come in?”
Reece withdraws her head from the door and then pops it back between the frame and door. “Yeah.” The door opens to where I can finally slip in.
“Caydon is waiting for you.” I signal to Reece that I’ve got this. At least, I think I do.
Reece nods and gives Jamie a hug. “If you need anything, you have my number.”
“Thanks, Reece.” Jamie squeezes her back.
As Reece walks by, I grab her arm. “Hey,” I begin. “Thank you for everything.”
With a shy grin, Reece exits my bathroom leaving me alone with Jamie.
“I’m sorry,” Jamie apologizes.
“Are you seriously apologizing for being upset?”
“No. I’m apologizing for allowing Hannah to ruin this night,” Jamie explains.
“Hannah should just leave you alone. Leave me alone. Leave Caydon alone. She’s fucking getting married. All of this should be left in the past.”
“Are you the type of guy who can leave the past in the past, Nash?” Jamie innocently asks.
Everybody, chick or dude, has to get used to the fact that their other’s life was full and rich and complicated and otherwise complete before they turned up. Can I leave that all behind me? Hell, yeah. But I can’t shake the feeling like something is lurking in the shadows.
“What are you so afraid of Jamie?” Whatever has shaken her was enough to rock her to her core. “Losing me?”
Okay, so maybe I’m overconfident that Jamie is worried about what I think although we’ve dated shortly.
Jamie chuckles to herself. “I like you Nash. I really do. And, true, Hannah is torturing me because of you. But, no, it has nothing to do with that. Hannah is out for blood. She knows where to hit me and make it count.”
/> “Hit her back.”
“I’m afraid she’s got the upper hand. I could easily walk away from you but then she would find another reason to do what she does…manipulate, lie, and inflict pain on people,” Jamie sniffles. “It makes her feel good.”
I take her face into my hands. My blue eyes meet her gorgeous green eyes. “Then, don’t walk away.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jamie
Every moment leading up to the one in which you meet the love of your life is meant to be. The crappy moments. The sweet moments. The joyful moments. And the painful moments. These moments are the events that prepare you to be the best person you can possibly be. And you should be your best person when you meet the love of your life.
When I met Nash, I’d be lying if I said I heard a choir of angels singing or saw a bright light. I didn’t experience anything like a supernatural flash.
What I did feel was comfort and safety. And I haven’t felt that way in a long time.
Of course, there was an instant attraction. You’d have to be blind not to appreciate Nash’s beauty. He’s godlike.
That’s not what I fell for. Somewhere, under all of those muscles, is an even bigger muscle…his heart.
Nash’s heart is what I need tonight. I need to feel the safety and comfort he’s provided consistently over the past few weeks. For the first time in a long time, I feel just as vulnerable and terrified as I did that fateful day so many years ago. Only one person can bring that kind of terror to me. Hannah.
The bitch caught me off guard. It’s because I am happy and carefree. I let my guard down. Stupid girl.
When Hannah called and spewed those horrible lies, I ugly cried. It was the kind of cry when those kind of tears come from somewhere inside you didn’t even know existed—a place of fear and sudden awareness that you are completely alone.
The only person I could think of running to was Nash. And I’m not the type of girl who runs to anyone. Ever. Hell, even when my family betrayed me, I left them. Yes, my family. And I never looked back. Until tonight.
Thank god for Reece. I’m not one to flock to girls as friends either. However, I think she and I are going to be close. Reece knows tragedy, fear, and sorrow. She’s experienced loss and pain.