Love's Autograph

by Michele M. Reynolds

  “You okay?” Ria asked.

  “Yes,” Ellie said. “I think about her a lot. I wonder what it's like seeing the world through her eyes. I hope every day that kids don't make fun of her. I know that they probably do. I wish I could be with her every second of the day,” Ellie stopped as she looked up at Ria. Ria's head was tilted to the left and her mouth was open. “Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

  “You're right,” Ria said. “All this time, I was part of that. I was trying to find a way for Maggie to fit into all these environments. I keep holding out that she'll change and be normal. You're right. I'm trying to put a dove in a hawk’s cage.”

  “Totally,” Ellie said.

  “Thank you. Wow, you're amazing. How do you know all this?” Ria asked.

  “I don't know,” Ellie said. “I get her and I think Maggie gets me. It kills me that she's mad at me right now.”

  “She'll come around. Do you have time to hang out? Or do you have to go?” Ria asked.

  “I have my whole day free,” Ellie answered.

  “Would you like to watch something?” Ria asked. Ellie gazed at her face and Ria’s eyes seemed to twinkle in this light. “Well?” Ria repeated as she locked eyes with Ellie. A sharp jolt of butterflies shot through Ellie's chest.

  “Oh, I don't care,” Ellie said. “Whatever you'd like.”

  “This is a treat. I never get control over the remote,” Ria said. “Between Maggie and Faith,” Ria's voice trailed off.

  “Faith,” Ellie said. “You never said that name before. Tell me about her.”

  “Nothing to say,” Ria said as she kept flipping through the channels. “Nothing me and a highly paid therapist haven't already visited.” Ellie reached over and grabbed the remote. Ria reluctantly but softly relinquished it. Ellie turned off the television.

  “So tell me,” Ellie said.

  “My ex-wife, Faith. We had been together since junior year in college. She was only my third girlfriend. She was gorgeous, smart, and my family loved her. I came out to my family when I was with her. Anyway, we got married and within a year I was pregnant. And within two months of Maggie being born, Faith was gone,” Ria said.

  “What happened?”

  “She said it was too much, too fast. Even though she was the one who proposed and she was the one pushing to have a baby,” Ria said. “She's married to some woman and living out in Ohio somewhere. She decided she didn't want anything to do with Maggie.”

  “You talk to her?” Ellie asked.

  “No,” Ria said.

  “Miss her?” Ellie asked. “You still have her picture.”

  “The only picture I have is in my—. You went into my drawers!” Ria stated.

  Ellie answered, “Oh, I was looking for clothes the night I slept over and saw it in your drawer.”

  “Miss Ellie, that's in my underwear drawer,” Ria said. “I'll have to count my underwear now.”

  “I only stole one pair,” Ellie said. “It was black and lacy.”

  “Couldn't have. I'm wearing that pair,” Ria said. Ellie's mind went to Ria's body in those black lacy panties. Ria was now staring into Ellie’s eyes.

  “I can't believe she left Maggie. I could never do that. So you didn't answer,” Ellie said. “Do you miss her?”

  “Yeah, I miss her still. She was originally from Boston. That's how we ended up here. I'm not a big fan of Boston. I hate the accent. Anyway, we settled here. I stayed because I was working at the hospital. I’m worried everyday that I'll run into her someday when she's back here visiting her family or friends.”

  “What would you do?”

  “No idea. I'm over her. Just miss her. Maybe I miss being with someone, the security. You know?” Ria said.

  “Yes,” Ellie answered as her gaze fixed behind Ria.

  “I feel like there is a story behind that ‘yes,’” Ria said.

  “Yes, I've had my heart broken. No warning and pretty humiliating,” Ellie said.

  “Miss her?”

  “Miss her? I wish I had better aim. I have to see her a lot because she's in the same business, and we run in the same circles. I don't miss her.”

  “So you don't miss her or think about going back to her?” Ria asked.

  “Hell no!” Ellie quickly answered.

  “So, do you want to watch a movie? We already talked about exes. What do you want to do?” Ria asked.

  “I know this might sound juvenile, but play cards?” Ellie asked.

  “Sure,” Ria stood up and pulled a pack of cards off a shelf. She blew dust off the pack. “Haven't played in a while.” Ria said as she laughed.

  Ellie laughed too. Ellie picked up the bag with the shirt in it and put in on the coffee table. Ellie started to shuffle the cards.

  “What?” Ellie asked. “Thinking of Faith?”

  “No, I was wondering, if you don't like it, or if it isn't your style or if it doesn't fit…” Ria rambled.

  “Oh, the shirt? I told you I love it,” Ellie said. “Real upgrade to my wardrobe. I love it!”

  “If it doesn't fit or you know… I won't be hurt if you…” Ria started. Ellie abruptly stood and startled Ria. She snatched the bag off the coffee table.

  “What are you doing?” Ria asked. Ellie kept her eyes on Ria as she unbuttoned the new shirt.

  “It won't fit right if you…” Ria said. Ellie held up her hand and continued to smile at Ria. Ellie only released Ria’s eyes for a second as she pulled her shirt off her torso and over her head. As Ellie's head ducked into her shirt, she saw that she was wearing her favorite pink bra. She found Ria's gaze again as she slid her arms into her new blue shirt. Ria's eyes went to Ellie's chest. Ellie kept her eyes on Ria's.

  Ellie once again dropped her eyes from Ria's to find the first button and buttonhole at the bottom of the shirt. She looked back up to find Ria had fixated on Ellie's stomach. In the silence that ensued, the only sound was their breathing. Ria continued to stare at Ellie's stomach and seemed to be following Ellie's fingers as she buttoned up the shirt. Ellie and Ria then held each other’s eyes as Ellie buttoned the last button.

  “See? Perfect, like you,” Ellie whispered as she walked toward Ria.

  “Me, perfect? Nobody has ever thought that,” Ria's voice held a slight tremble and her face turned red.

  “I do,” Ellie said. “Everyone else is crazy. How do you not know that?”

  “I guess my love relationships with women haven't helped,” Ria answers.

  Ellie moved closer to Ria. Ria reached up and rubbed the corner of the fabric of the shirt between her thumb and finger.

  “I love the fabric. When I shop, I have to touch all the shirts. This feels so silky smooth,” Ria said. Ellie held her breath and started to feel dizzy. Ria watched her own hand as she slid it up Ellie's torso setting it flat on Ellie's stomach.

  “This definitely shows off your body better,” Ria said. “You have a great—” Ria started.

  “Sense of humor?” Ellie deflected Ria's compliment with her own humor.

  “Body,” Ria said. “You wouldn't know that under all those baggy clothes you wear.”

  “Like I said, you can dress me anytime,” Ellie said.

  “I think you said dress or undress you,” Ria teased.

  “That too,” Ellie said. Ria lightly pushed Ellie away with the hand that was still on Ellie’s stomach. Ellie sat down wearing the new shirt that showed off her eyes, and started to shuffle the cards again. They started placing the cards on the cushion between them.

  “You're such a tease,” Ria said as she watched Ellie deal the cards. “What are we playing?”

  “Someone is a tease if they are not willing to engage or follow through,” Ellie said. “Warm up with the juvenile game of Slap Jack or War?”

  “That just happened and you ignored it and start playing cards?” Ria asked and then looked into Ellie's eyes.

  “Hmm?” Ellie asked. Ria picked up her pile of cards and tossed them at Ellie. “This is going to be
a long game if you keep throwing the cards.” Ellie laughed.

  “You’re driving me a little crazy,” Ria said as they started flipping the cards.

  “What do you mean?” Ellie asked.

  “Don't think that little strip-tease went unnoticed,” Ria said.

  “Oh, I noticed that you noticed. I was trying to ease your concerns,” Ellie said as a Jack of Clubs was flipped. They both slapped. Ellie's hand was first and Ria's hand firmly sat on top of hers. Ria held Ellie's hand there.

  “Trying to?” Ria asked.

  “Ease your anxiety about it not fitting,” Ellie nervously laughed. Ria raised her eyebrows and smiled.

  Ellie pulled her hand back. “It worked didn't it?”

  “Yeah, it got my mind off the shirt, and onto your breasts and stomach,” Ria said. “Nice, very nice.”

  “Thanks, I’m open to observing and reviewing yours anytime,” Ellie said. Ria again flung the cards at Ellie. “We aren’t going to get anywhere like this.” Ellie said. Both their heads turned at the sound of feet moving in the other room.

  I forgot Maggie was here.

  Ria's look told Ellie she was thinking the same thing.

  “Did you know Maggie has this list called something like Maggie’s top eleven favorite things?” asked Ellie. “Supposedly she updates the list a lot.”

  “No, I love having you for all this insider information. Maggie doesn't tell me much,” Ria whispered to Ellie.

  “I haven't seen the list,” Ellie said. “But I do know one thing that's on that list.”

  “Yes,” Ria said.

  “When she wakes at night and hears you and me laughing out here,” Ellie said.

  “That's great,” Ria said.

  “Yeah, she said… never mind,” Ellie said.

  “What? You have to tell me,” Ria said.

  “She said that she never heard you laughing as much as when you're with me,” Ellie said.

  Silence again fell between them as they organized the cards in one pile.

  “She’s right,” Ria said.

  “You don't laugh with Dr. Barbie that way?” Ellie asked.

  “She's fun, but I don't laugh like I laugh with you,” Ria said. Ellie noticed Ria looking at something on the floor. It was Ellie's phone blinking.

  “Oh, that must have fallen out of my pocket,” Ellie said.

  “Who keeps calling you?” Ria asked.

  “Nobody, random people,” Ellie answered.

  “How many missed calls?” Ria asked.

  “Just a few,” Ellie lied. On an average day within an hour she easily had over forty missed calls. Ria leaned down and grabbed the phone from the floor.

  Ria tried to open the screen. “What's your password?”

  Ellie said, “Not giving that to you. You might call one of my girls for yourself.”

  “1,2,3,4,” Ria said. “Nope. Birth date? Sport jersey?”

  “Nope, nope,” Ellie answered.

  “Number of girls you've slept with?” Ria asked.

  “There are only four digits in the code. That's not enough,” Ellie laughed.

  “Ha, ha. Address?”

  “No,” Ellie reached over Ria and grabbed the phone, and typed in the code. Ria grabbed it back quickly, but Ellie relinquished it without a fight. “Answer to a kid's joke.”

  “Thirty-four missed calls and texts! Robert, Robert, Jazzie, Robert, Robert, Robert, Jazzie,” Ria said. “You're a pretty popular person. Why don't you answer these? Robert? Who's that?”

  “My manager,” Ellie said as she moved close to Ria to the point their heads were almost touching. She felt Ria's body heat. She wrapped her right hand around Ria's right hand holding the phone.

  “He says Urgent to things,” Ria said as she scrolled through.

  “Yeah, he says everything is urgent,” Ellie said.

  There was the sound of broken glass in the other room. Ria jumped up and ran to Maggie's room. Ellie followed. A shelf swung from one L-bracket and glass jars from the shelf were shattered on Maggie's floor. Maggie was sitting in the corner below the window. She had her knees pulled into her chest and she was rocking back and forth.

  “Maggie, Mom is deeming this an emergency,” Ria said.

  “Access denied,” Maggie flatly answered.

  “Overruled,” Ria said as she entered the room. She looked around at the damage in the room as Ellie stayed in the doorway with her eyes on Maggie. “What happened here?”

  “My emotions got the best of me,” Maggie said as she stared blankly across the room.

  “Which one?” Ria asked.

  “Anger,” Maggie answered. “And big sadness.”

  “Okay, I'm glad you can tell me that,” Ria said. “I'm going to have to touch your things to clean up all this sharp stuff.”

  Ellie kept her eyes on Maggie. Ria talked to Maggie, grabbed a trash can, and threw the glass shards in. Ellie stared at Maggie. She felt a wave of anger and adrenaline still building in Maggie. That wave came in the form of a big glass shard Maggie had in her hand. Maggie stared at the glass shard and then at Ria, and then at her own arm. Maggie raised her hand with the glass over her other arm.

  “No!” Ellie yelled as she sprinted across the room, dove at Maggie and grabbed the wrist of the hand that was holding the glass. Maggie tried to pull her wrist free. Ellie held her wrist tightly. “Put it down, Maggie!” Ellie ordered.

  “My glass, my arm,” Maggie said. Ellie knelt amongst the glass and held Maggie's wrist.

  “Maggie Marie!” Ria said so firmly that Maggie dropped the glass. Ellie took the glass and tossed it in the pile with the other glass. The shard had some blood on it.

  Ria asked, “Any more?” Maggie shook her head. “You hurt?” Maggie pointed to her heart. “You're sad? Your heart hurts?” Maggie nodded.

  “Let's you and I go into the bathroom and check you out,” Ria said as she helped Maggie up and walked her to the bathroom.

  “Don't let her touch my stuff,” Maggie said to Ria. “Emergency is over. She needs to come out of my room.” Ria motioned for Ellie to go to the living room. Ellie positioned herself at the corner of the kitchen and the hallway to be ready to help Ria if needed. Besides the running water, it was silent. She thought about the blood on the glass shard. She hoped Maggie was not cut too badly.

  Ellie heard her own heart pumping. The adrenaline was rushing out of her system. Her chest started to tighten. She closed her eyes and started deep breathing. She thought of a song in her head. Her chest felt less tight. Maggie came out of the bathroom and Ria followed. Maggie turned into Ria's bedroom.

  “Is the cut bad?” Ellie asked.

  “She's not cut. She's going to watch cartoons while I clean up the mess,” Ria said.

  “But there was blood,” Ellie said.

  “No blood. She's okay, thank goodness. But you're cut,” Ria said.

  “No, I'm okay. I thought I saw blood on that piece of glass. I'm glad she didn't get hurt. Should I go?” Ellie answered.

  “No, you're cut. Remember I'm a doctor, I know what blood looks like,” Ria said as she pointed to Ellie's right arm. Ellie saw her sky blue sleeve was soaked in red, the blood had run down her arm, and was dripping from her fingers, forming a puddle on the floor. Ellie staggered back a little.

  “My new shirt. The one you gave me. I hate blood,” was all Ellie could say. Ria was quick to catch Ellie as she started to squat to the floor. Ellie felt Ria's strong arms lift her. Ria guided her to a dining room chair and grabbed a kitchen towel.

  “Concentrate on your breathing,” Ria said. “Think of something nice and calming.” Ellie's eyes quickly went to Ria. “You picturing something nice?”

  “I'm fine looking at you,” Ellie said.

  “Oh, stop it. You haven't lost that much blood to make you loopy. Okay… um… this is going to need stitches. How the heck did you not feel this?” Ria asked.

  Ellie struggled to answer, “Um, adrenaline? It was sharp. I don't know, I was fo
cused on Maggie.”

  “We should get you to the hospital. I can call ahead and get you quickly in and out,” Ria grabbed for her phone.

  “No hospital,” Ellie said. “I'll… can you patch it up?” I don't want to have to navigate fans and media at the hospital.

  “It needs stitches. It's long and deep,” Ria said. “You don't want a scar.”

  “I don't care about a scar. I can get a cool tattoo to cover it up. Can you stitch it? Come on, you're a doctor. You must have a kit here or something,” Ellie pleaded as she looked around the apartment.

  “You sure?” Ria asked.

  “Yes, please.”

  Ria went to the hall closet and grabbed a small, blue bag. Ria pulled a chair up to Ellie and placed Ellie's arm on the table. Ellie and Ria's faces were a few inches apart. Ellie stared at Ria's face. Ria cut Ellie's shirt above the wound.

  “Man, I loved this shirt,” Ellie said.

  “I’ll buy you another one or you can cut the sleeves off and show off these gorgeous arms,” Ria said.

  “Gorgeous huh?” Ellie said. Ellie stared at Ria's eyes and then her lips before asking, “You have some lucky patients. How many of them have tried to kiss you?”

  “Only one during my residency and he ended up on the floor. He was drunk,” Ria said. “Most of my patients now are under anesthesia while I operate.”

  She cleaned up the cut, gave Ellie a local anesthetic and started to stitch up the wound. Ellie had to look away from the wound and kept her eyes on Ria.

  Ria smells so good. Cartoons blasted from Ria's bedroom.

  “I can't believe the great Doctor Ria Diaz is working on my arm,” Ellie said. “I don't know if I've ever had an internationally celebrated doctor work on me before.”

  “You could have, you never know. Wait, how did you know I'm internationally renowned?”

  “Oh, come on, the paper you wrote about your work in Brazil has been cited in numerous medical journals,” Ellie said. She was excited to finally be able to use the information that she had researched about Ria and her work.

  “I thought you were a musician?” Ria asked.

  “And a babysitter who reads,” Ellie said. “I was interested about your work. So, I…”