The Half-Baked Vampire vs. The Strongest Little Sister?!

by Tsuyoshi Fujitaka

  “You probably think so because of the flashy portrayals in fiction. But most of the people who fought back then were farmers. You think they were going to start killing people just because they were dragged onto a battlefield? The key back then was mainly to get a lot of people together and shout out, ‘Hey, you can’t beat us! Surrender already!’ and make a big show of fighting so that they think you’re going to kill them so they say, ‘Oh, we lose!’ If you can secure victory quickly, no one has to kill each other needlessly.”

  Mutsuko said this as if she’d seen it firsthand.

  “People back then weren’t too different from people today, psychologically speaking. It’s not easy to kill just because someone tells you to. So if you’re in an isekai where there’s a war going on, don’t you think the same would apply? Let’s move on with that assumption in place!”

  Yuichi had always assumed that people in the old days had had no problems killing other people. But maybe that idea was rooted in bias.

  “Okay, now here’s the issue. If people can’t kill people, it makes it hard to wage a war, right? This is important to know if you want to use modern day knowledge to cheat! The question is: how do you create humans who can kill other humans? This is a fundamental of combat more important than tactics or strategy.”

  Mutsuko sounded truly gleeful as she spoke.

  “There’s a lot of examples about how to do this, but let’s use the American army as an example. They knew you couldn’t win a war if your soldiers wouldn’t fight, so they did a lot of research on this. This research got the firing rate of soldiers in the Vietnam War up to 90%.”

  Ninety percent? That was a huge increase from the twenty percent figure she had mentioned before, Yuichi thought.

  “They used psychological conditioning. It’s a little too complex to go into detail, so let’s use a relatively easy-to-understand example: practice shooting human-like targets. In the past, gun range targets had been just the unmoving round kind, but they turned the targets into realistic humanoid ones and had the soldiers practice firing at them as they jumped at them. They’d dress balloons in combat uniforms, or fill them with red paint so they would burst with ‘blood’ when shot. Eventually, that got the soldiers to instinctively shoot other humans, and after enough time passed, they began to see the enemy as nothing more than targets. They convinced themselves it was targets they were shooting, not other people.”

  “Um... still, that all seems a little absurd...” Aiko was scowling. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant thing to hear about.

  “That’s right. No matter how much training or justification you give them, you can’t completely remove a person’s resistance to killing! That’s why they conditioned the soldiers in the Vietnam War to kill people that way, but it meant a lot of them came home traumatized... Oh hey, what’s wrong with Takeuchi?”

  Natsuki had collapsed on the table.

  “Look... you know? Just try to be more considerate,” Yuichi said.

  It was hard to tell where Natsuki stood on the question of killing, but it was clear to Yuichi that she wasn’t completely indifferent to it.

  He left the room with Aiko.

  Mutsuko and Kanako were staying behind to discuss the latter’s novel, and Natsuki had excused herself to go home after a little rest.

  Yuichi and Aiko walked side by side between the gym and the athletics field.

  It was late in the day, but the summer sunlight was still streaming down hard enough to burn. Even Yuichi found it a little harsh.

  Worried, he looked over at Aiko. She was walking beside him without a care in the world. She seemed totally fine, despite her vampiric nature.

  Through the fence, he could see the sports clubs practicing on the athletic field. He’d assumed they would be getting more serious in anticipation for summer vacation, but the silhouettes there seemed sporadic and listless. Yuichi was just thinking it was a bit strange when Aiko spoke up.

  “Takeuchi said she wanted normal friends, so I wonder if she’s self-conscious about not being normal herself...”

  “I dunno,” Yuichi said. It was hard to get into the mind of a serial killer, but the talk of killing today seemed to have upset her.

  She had been pacified, but she was still a killer, and he still wasn’t sure what that meant. He had reluctantly allowed her into the club, but he still didn’t really know how to act around her.

  “Hey, are you okay for sunburn?” Yuichi asked. The talk of Natsuki was getting awkward, so he’d decided to change the subject.

  “Yeah,” Aiko said. “I don’t usually worry about it, but I still never get burned.”

  “That’s convenient,” Yuichi commented.

  “You don’t think a little tan would look more wholesome?” Aiko asked.

  “I think you look better with fair skin, myself.”

  “R-Really?” Aiko beamed.

  “By the way, what’s going on with your brother? Is he still talking about crazy stuff?” Yuichi had agreed to let Aiko confide in him about her brother in exchange for Yuichi confiding in her about his Soul Reader, and he occasionally remembered and asked her about it. He assumed she would say it was more of the same, but instead, her expression clouded over.

  After hanging her head for a moment, she raised it again. “Hey... do you want to come by my house?”

  “How come?” Yuichi asked.

  “I want to talk to you about my brother.”

  “Sure,” Yuichi agreed readily.

  “I’ll just call home and let them know,” Aiko said.

  With that, they both headed for Aiko’s house.

  Their neighbors referred to it as “the nature park,” since from the outside, it looked like a forest surrounded by a fence.

  The grounds were huge and the mansion sat at the center, which made it hard to see from the outside, and this naturally led to the assumption that it was a park.

  “Whew... it’s kind of incredible,” Yuichi said. Even after they were inside the fence, it still looked like a forest. The shrill chorus of the cicadas was deafening around them.

  “Sorry...” Aiko said.

  “What are you apologizing for?” Yuichi asked.

  “Well, it’s a little embarrassing...” Aiko said, shrinking a bit.

  They walked down the sun-dappled path. It felt so much like a stroll through the woods that he nearly forgot they were heading for Aiko’s house.

  “It’s nice to have all this greenery, isn’t it?” he asked.

  “There’s too much, though... I hear people think we’re a park...” Aiko murmured.

  Yuichi looked around. He saw a pond, large rocks, and what looked like a cave. It really was too large to be a proper lawn. “Do you ever get lost?”

  “It’s okay as long as you follow the paths. We also have security cameras set up all over, so if you do get lost, you can be found quickly.”

  “I bet Mutsuko would love this,” Yuichi murmured. It seemed like a good place for survival training.

  After walking for a while, they finally came upon a run-down Western-style estate. It was only three stories tall, but it made up for that with length.

  “Sorry to repeat myself, but it really is incredible,” he said.

  “Do you think it looks haunted too, Sakaki?” Aiko asked nervously, turning her eyes up at him.

  “Huh?” he asked. “I think it’s cool. You don’t see many buildings like this in Japan.”

  “Yeah. It was moved here from overseas, they say, a long time ago.” Aiko seemed happier now. Yuichi decided not to mention that it seemed like the kind of house that would play host to a murder mystery.

  “But I guess it’s only natural that people think it’s a haunted house,” Aiko continued. “Everyone who lives in it is a vampire.”

  As they approached the building, the door opened.

  “Automatic doors?” Yuichi asked. It wouldn’t be surprising, with a mansion this size.

  “No, no. See? There’s a camera over there. They see me
coming home, and they open it for me.”

  “So effectively an automatic door...” Yuichi said, dumbfounded. The thought processes of rich people were beyond him.

  “Welcome home, my lady.” A servant in a maid’s outfit bowed to Aiko. Her uniform was classic and understated, but the beauty of the person wearing it made it seem fancier than it was. She seemed in her early twenties, with a placid air about her. Above her head was the label “Vampire IV.”

  As Aiko had said before, the servants were all vampires.

  “Thanks, Akiko,” Aiko said. “I mentioned on the phone that you didn’t have to go to any trouble or anything...”

  “We are not going to any trouble, so I do not know what you—”

  “Is this Yuichi Sakaki?!” An enormous voice boomed out from further in the house. Yuichi peeked past the maid.

  An enormous man in a white coat stood in the spacious entryway hall, his legs planted at shoulder width and arms folded.

  “Dad!” Aiko cried out in surprise.

  Apparently, he was Aiko’s father. Kazuya Noro.

  Aiko had told Yuichi that he was the director of Noro General Hospital, but why was the man suddenly glaring at him? He couldn’t understand it. He had never met the man before.

  Above the man’s head was the label “Super Doctor.”

  What, not “Vampire”?

  If everyone in the house was a vampire, did that mean that this man was both a vampire and a super doctor?

  “A pleasure to meet you. I’m Yuichi Sakaki.” Yuichi hurried to give him a proper greeting. As intimidating as he was, this man was still the master of the house. He didn’t want to give offense.

  “Hmph. I am Aiko’s father.” Kazuya returned the greeting standoffishly as he continued to size Yuichi up with his glance.

  “Hey, Dad? You’re being really rude!” Aiko exclaimed.

  “Huh? Oh, um, well...” Kazuya apparently hadn’t expected his daughter to be angry, as he quickly changed his attitude. “Fine, then. Sakaki, is it? Come here a minute.”

  “Hang on! What are you gonna do?” Aiko cried.

  “Don’t ask, just come.” Kazuya headed for the corner of the entrance hall, and Yuichi and Aiko followed.

  There was a round table with a vase of live flowers on it, but Kazuya swept the vase off the table.

  “What are you doing, Dad?!”

  “It’s in the way!” Kazuya rolled up his sleeve, revealing an arm like a tree trunk with visible veins. He placed his elbow on the table. “Sakaki, the rule is that no one may enter this house until they beat me in arm wrestling.”

  “We’ve never had that rule before!” Aiko shouted.

  The abrupt arm wrestling challenge so confused Yuichi that he didn’t know how to respond at first.

  “My lady, the head of the house makes the rules,” Akiko said smoothly. “If that is what he says, that is what will happen. In this moment, it is decided.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about,” Aiko’s father said. “Not to brag, but I am known as a super doctor. A broken bone, a compound fracture or two... it’s nothing I can’t treat.” He opened and closed his hand. The fingers were thick and exuded power.

  “This is so stupid! Let’s go, Sakaki,” Aiko said furiously.

  “Running away? Then don’t think you’ll ever cross this house’s threshold again!” Kazuya barked out suddenly.

  “Oh, come on! Dad, what are you so mad about?” Aiko cried.

  Yuichi was a bit flabbergasted, but he grasped what was going on. Which meant there was only one thing to do. Yuichi walked up to the table. gripped the edge with his left hand, and put his right elbow on top of it.

  “Sakaki! You don’t have to play along with him!”

  “It’s okay. It’s just arm wrestling. And if I win, he’ll let me in, right?” Yuichi answered.

  “I’ll even go you one better,” Kazuya confirmed. “If I smash your arm or cause an open fracture, and you can still flirt with Aiko in that condition, you still pass!”

  “We’re not flirting... Okay, Noro. You give the signal.” Yuichi gripped Kazuya’s hand.

  “Huh? ...Fine, whatever! Start!” Aiko threw down her hand to start the match.

  “Rarrrgh!” As Aiko gave the signal, Kazuya let out a bellowing cry. His arm swelled even larger, ropy muscles bulging to the surface. He was putting all his power into it, trying to break Yuichi’s arm. His face turned red, and he gritted his teeth so hard he could crush rocks between them.

  “How desperate are you?!” Aiko cried out in shock.

  Everyone must have assumed the match would be over in an instant, but seconds passed, and neither man’s arm moved from their starting positions. Yuichi was holding his own against Kazuya’s strength.

  “What?!” Kazuya shouted.

  “Sorry, but I intend to win,” Yuichi said calmly. He was very competitive. Once challenged, there was no way he would back down.

  Yuichi brought all his strength to bear. Kazuya’s arm began to tremble and give way.

  But Kazuya was equally determined. He dug down deeper and pushed back, letting their power be equally matched once more. “Who the hell are you? How do you have so much strength in those scrawny arms?”

  “Dad! You can’t say that to a guest!” Aiko exclaimed.

  “Graaaaaaaaaah!” Kazuya screamed.

  Just like that, it was over, as the table broke in half with a crash.

  Yuichi and Kazuya glared at each other, still locked in their grip.

  “Shall we call it a draw?” Yuichi asked, keeping his eyes daringly locked on Kazuya’s.

  “Time for round two, the boxing match! Now you’ll see my true—”

  There was a light smacking sound. Aiko had punched Kazuya in the arm. It couldn’t have hurt him much, but it gave Kazuya pause.

  “Dad, you jerk! I hate you!” There were tears in Aiko’s eyes.

  “Ah, well, Aiko, I just wanted to test the man in your life. A boy needs to be strong, to protect his girl...”

  Smack. She hit him again.

  “Dad, you dummy!” With that as her last word, Aiko ran off crying.

  The two men were left behind, still holding hands, while the maid in the old-fashioned uniform watched placidly.

  “I guess of the two, ‘dummy’ would hurt more...” Yuichi murmured, hoping the triviality might break the silence.

  “Yeah...” But all Kazuya could do was sigh in response.

  “Can I go after her?” Yuichi asked.

  Kazuya looked at him uncomfortably. Aiko’s rage seemed to have pacified him. “...Please.”

  Kazuya released his hand, and Yuichi did the same.

  Dejection was written clearly over Kazuya’s face. He clearly couldn’t stand seeing Aiko cry. “She probably went to her room. It’s at the end of the hall on the second floor. She never listens to me when she gets like this...”

  “If you want to know if I can protect her, don’t worry. I will. And since there seems to be some misunderstanding here, you should probably know that Noro and I aren’t dating.”

  “Really?” Kazuya’s eyes opened wide and he stepped toward Yuichi.

  “I just came here to talk about her brother.” Cowed by Kazuya’s advance, Yuichi took a step back.

  “I see... But listen to me! You’d better not do anything to break Aiko’s heart and disgrace her!”

  “I would never even think of it,” Yuichi assured him.

  “Never, you say? You bastard! Are you saying my Aiko is unattractive?” Kazuya exclaimed.

  What a difficult person... Yuichi sighed and opted not to respond.

  “Well, I’m off,” he said, then climbed the stairs and headed to the back room on the second floor.

  He found Aiko’s room right away. It had her nameplate on the door.

  “It’s me. Let me in,” Yuichi called out as he knocked.

  After a while, the door opened. Aiko looked at him, her eyes red and moist. “Sakaki... I’m sorry. My father was so rude to you..
.”

  “Don’t cry. It didn’t bother me.” Yuichi found that the sight of Aiko in tears unsettled him. It gave him an uneasy feeling in his chest.

  “Sorry I ran off...” she mumbled.

  “It’s okay. Anyway, your dad gave me permission to come in, so don’t sweat it.”

  “Yeah... Anyway, don’t just stand out there. Come in.” Aiko seemed to be feeling a little better as Yuichi stepped inside.

  Her room was the polar opposite of Mutsuko’s room: pristine and feminine, with white and pink coloring. There was a row of stuffed animals against the wall.

  It feels like a girl’s room... Yuichi took a seat on the sofa.

  “Oh, I’ll bring you something to drink.” Aiko said as she walked out.

  Yuichi began to feel restless. I’ve heard that pink is a soothing color, but...

  Maybe it was because it was his first time being in a girl’s room other than his big sister’s. Yuichi had assumed that living with his sisters all this time had gotten him used to girls, but maybe being around a girl who was his classmate was different.

  Eventually, Aiko returned with a tray with some cold tea, and placed it on the table.

  “Hey, don’t you have a maid?” Yuichi asked. “She seemed like the ‘at your service’ type...”

  “Yeah, but she’s not there for us kids. We were raised to do things for ourselves. And don’t get any funny ideas; all the servants are old ladies. The young, pretty maid thing is just an illusion.”

  “Huh? Even the girl at the front door?” The maid Akiko who met him at the door certainly seemed young...

  “Akiko is over fifty years old. Oh, and everyone in the house, servants included, are vampires.”

  Fifty years old, she had said, giving the word special emphasis. He had heard that vampires were unaging, and to look that young at fifty certainly suggested she wasn’t human.

  “Whew... I don’t know if it’s the money thing or the vampire thing, but it definitely feels like we live in different worlds... Hey, I’ve been wondering. If you’re so rich, why don’t you go to a private school?” Yuichi asked her.

  “That’s part of our upbringing, too,” Aiko said. “We’re supposed to go to public school.”

  “That reminds me,” Yuichi said. “I thought it was weird that Konishi comes to our school, too. You think it’s the same for her?”