The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers Save the World!: A Comedy Thriller Adventure that Truly Stinks (Humorous action book for preteen kids age 9-12); US edition
Page 6
blackberries
prunes
apples
mangoes
peaches
pears
GASSY GRAINS
barley
rye
wheat
flax seed
CUTTIN’-THE-CHEESE DAIRY
ice cream
buttermilk
cream cheese
ricotta cheese
DUCK-QUACKING DRINKS
sugary drinks
fruit juices
beer
Forbidden Farts
Can farting really be made illegal? It already is!
In the African country of Malawi, if you break wind, you’re breaking the law.
The 2011 Malawi Air Fouling Law makes it illegal to fart in public, both indoors and outdoors, even while walking down the street.
The country’s Minister of Justice advised people who don’t want to be arrested: “Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting.”
Pity the police who have to collect the evidence.
Gas Warfare
Many online sources claim that if you fart non-stop, day and night, for six years and nine months, you produce the same amount of explosive energy as an atomic bomb.
Sadly, this isn’t true.
That quantity of intestinal gas, ignited all at once, would produce a fireball over 6 miles (10 kilometers) high. Which is still a lot less than the smallest atomic bomb.
However, it is true that it would take only nine farts from every person on earth to produce the same power as a hydrogen bomb.
Let’s all hope that there’s never a World War Phew.
GET YOUR FREE BOOK!
How much do you know about farts?
Fish fart. Astronauts fart even more. Even dead people fart. Farts can destroy the planet, but smelling farts can be good for your health.
Ancient fart jokes. Fart-worship religions. Farts that started wars. Human farts are illegal in Africa and cow farts are illegal in California. The fartiest foods, the gassiest animal, and much much more.
Crack open a can of beans, and laugh from both ends at this zany-but-true encyclopedia of the windy and wacky world of musical gas!
GET YOURS FOR FREE AT:
http://freebook.fartboys.com
Did you enjoy this book?
PLEASE HELP THE AUTHOR!
I love writing about the Fart Brothers and making readers laugh. If people keep buying my books, I’ll keep writing them. But that means other people need to find out about them. Can you help?
My books aren’t as famous as Harry Potter or Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I don’t have a big publisher paying for expensive advertisements.
How do my books get noticed? Simple:
REVIEWS
Honest (and, I hope, positive) reviews bring my books to the attention of other readers.
If you liked this book, I will be very grateful if you can take just two minutes to leave a review at Amazon, Goodreads, or other book lovers’ sites. It can be as short or long as you like. Just don’t give away the ending!
On behalf of Willy, Peter, Skyler, and myself, I thank you.
Review on Amazon US
Review on Amazon UK
And please write to me too! I love to hear from my readers. Send me a message, and I’ll write back if I can:
www.fartboys.com/contact.html
Read Willy and Peter’s next great adventure!
Would you trust these guys with a space ship?
Willy and Peter need to get as far as possible from their sister’s dumb kindergarten pageant. But they never expected to be blasting their butts into space!
There they make a disgusting discovery that could wipe out the Moon in one gross stink bomb.
Do they have enough gas in their guts to repel an alien invasion from Uranus? Can farts alone rocket them back to earth? And how did their sister’s hamster get on board and chew up all the cables?
Find out now at:
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Who writes this stuff?
M.D. WHALEN (writer)
He was always the kid who sat in the back of the class scribbling stories and cartoons. Later he sat in front of the class scribbling stories, when he should have been teaching! Now he writes full time in the back of his house, and has published many books under other names. He also enjoys cycling, world travel, and making rude noises in different languages.
DES CAMPBELL (artist)
Brought up on British comics—Beano, Whizzer & Chips and such—Des has always drawn daft cartoons. He tries to be sophisticated and cultured, but it’s all big noses, wonky teeth and funny feet… that’s also how his characters look!
The End
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
©2017 Top Floor Books
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, mechanical, or electronic, including photocopying, taping, recording, without permission in writing from the publisher. Violators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and/or be subjected to massive farts in the face.
First US edition, published 2017
Top Floor Books
PO Box 29
Silvermine Bay, Hong Kong
www.topfloorbooks.com
ISBN 978 962 7866 29 9