Tanner's Promise

by Kaylie Newell

  There was the coolness again. The way his eyes hardened just a fraction. She’d brushed the subject of Guy off as tidily as she could manage, just like she always had. And now there was a sizable elephant in the room.

  But that was Francie. Polyanna Francie, her brother used to call her, right before rolling his eyes. She guessed if she admitted what a jerk Guy had been, she’d have to admit to dating him, too. Admit to being his girlfriend during all the awful things he’d done. Albeit while her back was turned, but still. She’d finally broken up with him, but it hadn’t been soon enough. And Tanner had grown some balls long before she ever had.

  As she remembered that, remembered how surprised everyone had been the day Tanner Harlow snapped, her stomach squeezed.

  She clasped her hands together and rocked forward on her bare feet. The cottage had grown quiet, with nothing but the sound of the fan whirring from the bedroom down the hall. She’d been working on the trim in there, and the sharp, tangy smell of paint tickled her nose.

  “Should I show you the yard?” she asked, her voice an octave too high. He made her nervous. It wasn’t just his looks, which would’ve made any woman nervous. She felt she owed him something. An apology? An explanation? Neither seemed to fit. Maybe it was just plain guilt. She’d made mistakes as a kid. Hadn’t been the perfect girl everyone thought she was. Thinking about it now, she clenched her teeth.

  “Sure,” he said. “Lead the way.”

  Turning her back to him wasn’t easy. She’d kept herself up okay. Okay, not great. She went to the gym sometimes, but honestly, she’d rather be eating Oreos. She walked the country roads of Marietta in the spring and summer with her earbuds in, but skipped the walking altogether when the snow came. Which usually came early. And stayed late. And that just about summed up the current state of her derriere, which had been tight as a drum at seventeen. At twenty-six? Not as tight. Not as shapely, either.

  She headed to the screen door wondering if he was looking at it, or her bare legs that were smeared with paint. She could’ve at least shaved them. At least that.

  He reached around her and pushed the door open before she could touch it. She turned and smiled, appreciating the bulge of his biceps, and how his dark, olive skin contrasted with the white T-shirt. He’d really grown into a breathtakingly sexy man. And with a quiet, brooding demeanor to match. Dear Lord.

  “Here we are,” she said, stepping out onto the deck. The paint out here was peeling, unashamed of its current plight. In fact, it seemed joyful, and completely determined to fall off by summer’s end. The pink roses lining the front yard were beautiful though. As was the heavy, twisting wisteria that was in desperate need of a trellis to hold it properly over the deck. The yard was wild and perfumed with flowers, most of which she didn’t know the names. She needed someone to tame it. To define it a little, but keep its original secret garden charm. She had no idea how to do it, since she killed houseplants on the regular.

  She looked over at his truck parked in the shade; a big, white Toyota Tundra with the Quaking Aspen logo on the side. The windows were down, and a tween girl with glasses was hanging her long, thin arms out over the passenger door. A sleek black dog with funny eyebrows leaned out the back window. They both looked bored.

  “Oh!” Francie said. “I didn’t realize you weren’t alone.”

  Tanner nodded toward the truck. “That’s my little sister, Maddie.”

  At the mention of her name, the girl smiled, showing a gap between two front teeth that stuck out a little. Her dark blond hair fell in a mop toward one eye, accentuating the awkwardness. Francie’s heart squeezed. She loved kids this age. They were all knobby knees and pointy elbows.

  She wiggled her fingers at her, and Maddie waved back.

  “Would she like to come in for some lemonade?”

  “We don’t want to trouble you,” Tanner said, his voice taking on a definite tone. All business.

  “It’s no trouble.”

  Frowning, he glanced at the truck and back again. “Let’s see about your yard, okay?”

  Maddie, seeming to have read something in his expression, retreated inside the cab and put her head back against the rest. After a second, she pushed her glasses up to rub her eyes.

  Was she crying? Francie glanced at Tanner, who was now kneeling to inspect a sprinkler head, his T-shirt stretching over a well-defined back. He obviously didn’t want to address the little girl in the truck, at least not with Francie. She guessed there were plenty of reasons he could be taking his little sister around on jobs with him, but none of them made a whole lot of sense to her teacher brain at the moment. Instinctively, she wanted to butt in. Insist that Maddie come inside for a glass of lemonade, maybe watch some TV for a few minutes. But also instinctively, she kept her mouth shut. Probably wise. Tanner didn’t seem to be in any mood to deal with interference.

  With one more look at the little girl and the dog, who now had its head on her shoulder, Francie turned to Tanner and tried to focus more on the sprinkler head and less on broad, muscular shoulders.

  “Okay,” she said. “What’s this gonna run me?”

  Chapter Two

  Tanner sat on one of the stools that was bolted to the floor in front of the sturdy counter at the Main Street Diner. Maddie sat beside him, twisting in her seat and sucking on a vanilla milkshake. He owed her that much. The poor kid had been with him all afternoon and hadn’t complained once. Neither had Charlotte. He made a mental note to give the dog a bite of steak the next time he had one.

  He felt like a shit. He couldn’t keep this up. Couldn’t keep dragging her along on these bids, much less on the jobs that would start up in earnest in the next few weeks. Word had gotten around Marietta that he had some talent and worked hard for a paycheck. He’d even gotten a few calls from outside the county that he hadn’t had time to return yet. Hadn’t had time, because he was trying to juggle a brand-new business and watch over Maddie at the same time. The two mixed like oil and water.

  Flo appeared with his buffalo burger, her hair sprayed harder than a brick in its signature beehive updo, and grinned.

  “How’s the milkshake, hon?” she asked Maddie.

  Maddie smiled back with the straw between her teeth and gave a thumbs-up.

  “I’m not losing my touch, then.” She set the overflowing plate on the counter and turned her attention to Tanner. “And how are things with you? Getting along okay?”

  There was more to the question than met the ears. How are you doing since your mom passed? How are you managing with this little girl? When are those brothers of yours coming back to help?

  He’d heard them all before from well-meaning people in town.

  “Okay. Maddie’s settling in. Luke and Judd are working on coming home. Something more permanent. You know.” It was his stock answer.

  She nodded, her sharp eyes missing nothing. “But how are you doing?”

  He picked up the burger, melted pepper jack cheese oozing out the sides. “As well as can be expected. Under the circumstances.”

  She nodded again. “Uh-huh. So Luke and Judd are coming home eventually…”

  “As soon as they can.”

  “And in the meantime, you’re taking this little angel to work with you?”

  He took a bite. Big enough that he wouldn’t have to answer right away. Someone walked by and slapped him on the back.

  “Hey, man. Don’t forget to chew.”

  He looked over his shoulder to see his physical therapist, EJ Corpa, walking out the door. He had a running appointment with him, since lifting seventy-five-pound bags of rock wasn’t exactly great on his knee. Tanner nodded in response, cheeks bulging.

  Flo stood there and watched, maddeningly patient.

  Finally, he did swallow, then took a swig of foamy beer to wash it down. “Yes, Flo. For the time being.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand like an insolent teenager.

  “I can stay by myself,” Maddie interjected, giving him the side-eye. />
  “No way.”

  “My friend Emily in Bozeman stays by herself all day while her mom works at the phone company.”

  “You’re not Emily.”

  She scowled. “Nobody’s gonna murder me.”

  “I know. Because you’re not staying by yourself.”

  Maddie slumped down in her stool, her skinny shoulders rounded. Instinctively, he wanted to reach out and hug her. But since she’d come to Marietta, she’d been distant, aloof. He knew she needed to talk about their mom. It wasn’t healthy to keep it all bottled up inside. But Tanner was a shitty communicator at best, even with his baby sister whom he loved with all his heart.

  Flo shook her stiff head and made a tsking sound. “It’s a hard age. You want to be so grown-up, but you still need some looking after.”

  Tanner remembered the age all too well. Hard didn’t even begin to describe it.

  “Why don’t you hire a babysitter?” Flo asked.

  Maddie looked up, horrified.

  “Sorry, hon. Not a babysitter…more of a nanny.”

  No better, according to the look on Maddie’s face.

  Seeming to realize she was digging herself into a deeper hole, Flo struggled out of it. “Not a nanny. You know, a companion of sorts.”

  Tanner rubbed his thumb over the condensation on his glass. “I’ve thought about it, but it has to be someone I know. I don’t want her with just anyone.”

  “I’m not a baby,” Maddie said, pouting.

  “Nobody said you were. But I’ve got a lot of jobs lined up this summer, and I need to take damn near all of them if I want this business to take off. I don’t want you sitting in front of the TV for three months until…”

  Maddie looked up, her hazel eyes bright behind her smudged glasses. “Until Aunt Vivian comes to get me?”

  The expression on her small face killed him dead. The way her bottom lip was tucked underneath her slightly bucked teeth. The way her chin trembled just the tiniest bit, like she didn’t want Flo to see the sudden emotion there. Tanner knew how this grief thing worked. He’d been living it, too. It rose and receded like lapping waves. One second you were fine, and the next you weren’t.

  Flo, bless her heart, patted Maddie’s hand. “I’ll just leave you two alone. Let me know if you want a refill on that milkshake, sweetie.”

  Maddie watched her go, clearly miserable.

  Tanner pushed his plate away and leaned closer to his little sister. She had both hands wrapped around her mug as if it might fly away.

  “Hey.”

  She didn’t look over. Just stared at the milkshake with tears welling in her eyes.

  “I know you miss Mom, Mads.”

  The sound of the diner hummed around them. The low murmur of voices, an occasional laugh and the scrape of utensils on plates. But Tanner was only aware of his baby sister. So tender, so vulnerable to all the things that could hurt her in this world.

  “Where’s my dad, Tanner?”

  The question cut him like a razor. It was a good one. Maddie’s dad had been no-good, just like Tanner, Luke and Judd’s dad had been no-good. They’d been emotionally abusive assholes who’d consumed Jennifer Harlow, and then left her despondent and alone. Along with four children wondering what they’d done wrong, why they hadn’t been worthy of love from the men who should’ve cared the most.

  It was a question Tanner struggled with to this day. Only he was able to push it aside now. Able to bury it underneath work and life, and day-to-day bullshit that helped numb him some.

  Maddie wasn’t old enough to do that. She was still asking questions about her dad. But what bothered him the most was that she’d eventually ask more. Like, why hadn’t their mother protected them? Why had she let those losers into her life? Why had she been so incapable of learning, and of putting her family first?

  His childhood came rushing back then. Like the waves of grief, it came in waves, too. He thought of seeing Francie Tate that afternoon, and how that had opened a fissure inside him that had been sealed for a long time. She was just as gorgeous and sweet as she’d been in high school. He’d always had a thing for her. Hell, it hadn’t been much of a secret. She’d probably known all along. That dickhead boyfriend of hers had definitely known.

  Sighing, he scrubbed his face with both hands. All of a sudden, every muscle in his body ached. When his gaze finally settled on Maddie again, he tried to formulate an answer in his head. When you’re older, your brothers and I can help find your dad. If you want to find him, we’ll help…

  But before he could open his mouth, she swiveled on the stool and faced him. “I don’t want to go live with Aunt Vivian,” she said, pushing up her glasses. “I want to stay here with you.”

  “Maddie—”

  “You can take me, Tanner. You and Judd and Luke. You guys can take me.”

  “Maddie, I don’t—”

  “I’ll never see you if I live in Hawaii! I’ll never come back.”

  “You will come back. I promise. And we’ll come there to see you.”

  Her chin trembled again, this time uncontrollably. “You don’t want me.”

  He reached for her hand, the words ripping him in two. “That’s not true.”

  “Then why are you sending me away?”

  “I’m only twenty-six…” I love you too much to mess this up…

  “So I’m cramping your style?” Her nose was running now.

  It was so absurd that he had to stifle a laugh. She had no idea what she was talking about. But could he blame her? He felt like a Neanderthal trying to pick a daisy without crushing it.

  “Maddie, I don’t know how to be a dad to you right now. I can’t even figure out a good situation for you this summer, let alone the rest of your childhood. Aunt Vivian has a big house, she lives in a neighborhood full of kids. She can give you more than I can.”

  “But I don’t want her! I want you. You could do it if you wanted. You could.”

  Legally, it was true. Their mother hadn’t left any stipulation for Maddie. Of course she hadn’t. But Vivian made the most sense. Maddie would be better off with her. In his heart, he knew that. Mostly.

  He handed her a napkin and put an arm around her back. Her shoulder blades stuck out like the wings of a baby bird.

  “Listen to me,” he said.

  She sniffed and wiped her nose.

  “We’re gonna take this day by day. We’re gonna get through this week, and the week after that, and the week after that. We’re gonna do what’s best for you, and what’ll give you the best shot, Maddie. You’re not going to struggle like I did when I was your age. Judd did the best he could by me, but he was too young to be a parent. We want more for you.”

  She looked over and opened her mouth, but he cut her off.

  “Day by day,” he said firmly. “Okay?”

  After a long second, she nodded. Such a good girl. As fucked up as their mother had been, she’d managed to get Maddie this far. It was up to him to figure out how to get her the rest of the way.

  “How about a refill on that shake?” he asked.

  She nodded again and pushed up her glasses.

  Chapter Three

  Francie stood in the paint aisle of Big Z Hardware and Lumber trying to decide between Autumn Rose and Burnished Tuscany. A fan spun lazily overhead, moving the thick air and cooling her skin.

  She sighed. She could really use Audrey’s help. Her best friend growing up had become a successful glass blowing artist in Marietta. She’d always had an eye for colors and textures. Instinctively she knew what looked amazing together and what to avoid. Even her outfits in the sixth grade had been gossip worthy, when the rest of the girls had struggled to match their socks to their cable knit sweaters.

  Frowning, Francie put her hands on her hips. She should’ve made Audrey come today. If she wasn’t careful, she’d end up with an orange bedroom.

  “Hi.”

  Startling, she turned to see a girl standing behind her. Baggy shorts, a faded T
aylor Swift T-shirt, purple framed glasses sitting low on her nose.

  Francie smiled, recognizing her from the other day. Maddie Harlow. Tanner’s little sister.

  “Well, hi there.”

  Maddie smiled back and the effect was adorable. She was tall. Almost as tall as Francie, and so slender that her arms and legs looked like the appendage equivalent of noodles. She reminded Francie of every middle schooler who hadn’t blossomed yet, who was still struggling to find their way. She reminded her of Tanner. And just like that, her heart gave a weird little lurch.

  “We were at your house last week,” Maddie said. “My brother is your landscape guy?”

  “Of course,” Francie said. “Maddie, right?”

  The girl nodded, looking happy she’d remembered her name.

  “Are you here with your brother now?”

  “Yeah. He’s looking at shovels, I think. Or something dirt related.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “He’s earthy and stuff,” she said, making air quotes around earthy.

  Francie had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. There was a spark in this little girl. Something special underneath all the tween gangliness that shone bright as an evening star.

  “Ah,” she said. “I get that about him. What about you? Are you liking Marietta so far?”

  Maddie stiffened. Francie knew now that Maddie and Tanner’s mom had recently died. She’d seen the obituary, and some of the folks in town had mentioned it in passing. Jennifer Harlow had lived in Bozeman for the last ten years of her life, but people in Marietta still remembered her.

  She watched Maddie bite her cheek and rock back on her worn white Converse shoes. “I like it here. Everyone’s really nice,” she said. “And Tanner has a dog. She’s great. She knows how to sit and speak. I’m teaching her how to shake, but I don’t think she knows the word yet. She just paws at everyone for a treat.”

  “She’ll get it. Dogs are smart. What’s her name?”

  “Charlotte.”

  Francie’s insides warmed. The fact that a man as rough around the edges as Tanner would name his dog something as beautiful as Charlotte made her tingle in all the right places.