Right Before My Eyes

by Michelle Robinson

  Just like Ashley said, we were getting the drama over in the beginning. I got back on the couch and watched more coverage, and couldn’t help but stand up and holler and chant, “Obama! Obama! Obama!”

  Chapter 28

  I APOLOGIZE

  “The Devil is a lie, Henry, and we gotta keep praying, praying, praying,” I heard Mama talking to Pop as Derrick, Chelsea, and I walked toward the front door.

  They were in the kitchen and the patio door from the kitchen was open. We all stood at the door quiet, not sure if we should listen or interrupt, but the aroma coming from inside smelled so good.

  “Yeah, Sandy but she’s our baby twin, my baby girl.”

  “This gay stuff is mortifying and ungodly, Henry. I don’t want her soul to perish. I want her to have everlasting life with the Father. And where did this gay stuff come from? She’s a daddy’s girl but I didn’t think she was trying to be a man!” I heard Mama shout. “She never liked shopping like Journee. She’d rather go fishing with you and Uncle Joe. She doesn’t really act tomboyish, so I wonder is she gonna be the girl.”

  “What do we care, Sandy? Don’t start comparing her to her sister. That isn’t gonna make things easier to digest. Like Derrick says, “it is what it is.” I don’t care what either one of them do. We did a good job raising our girls. This is their lives. What can we do about it?” Pops asked Mama.

  “Oh, I’ll tell ya. I’m gonna pray this thing off of Jordyn. I love my baby, but I hate the sinful life she’s picked.”

  “Baby, she’s not gay because she likes fishing.” Pop’s voice lowered into a sexy Barry White tone.

  Uh oh, it was time to break this up. I bet he was embracing Mama and they were gonna start tonguing it down, right in the kitchen. Chelsea chuckled softly. I hit her arm. Derrick was smirking but covering his mouth with a balled up fist. I unlocked the door and we entered into the house.

  “Hey y’all! Mama, Pop?” I was acting like I didn’t know they were in the kitchen.

  “In here, baby,” Mama said.

  I brought the gang in with me. Mama greeted us and Pops hugged us and gave Derrick the “hello manly” hand shake and pats on his back.

  “Sit, sit, sit, dinner is ready. Where is Jordyn, Ma?”

  “She’s on her way. We’re waiting on her,” Chelsea said changing the subject, “Pop, I have extra tickets to the Raiders game next Sunday. Do you need tickets?”

  “Well yeah, baby girl. Derrick, you coming too?”

  “Yeah Pop, I’ll go with ya.”

  “You’re tailgating too, right?”

  “Oh yeah, you know we got to do that.”

  “Yeah, Derrick. You just bring some Jack witcha and some of that ‘Payron’.”

  Derrick laughed. Chelsea and I tried to figure out what he was saying.

  “Yeah, I know you want that Patron.”

  “Yeah, diggity. That was some good shit!” Pop said laughing.

  “Mama?” I said.

  “Girl, your daddy knows that he shouldn’t be drinking that stuff. I’m dying alone and no matter how much I love him, it’s not enough to get him to heaven.”

  “Woman shut up. I’ll see you there, He ain’t gonna keep me out of the kingdom because of some Jack and Payron.”

  “Hey everybody!” Jordyn announced. We all greeted her. More hugs and kisses.

  “We were just about to sit down.” Mama said. “Come on and sit somewhere.”

  “Let’s eat because I’m hungry. Kalena and Todd not here?” Jordyn asked.

  “No,” Chelsea said, “they are at his mama’s house. But guess who’s joining us?”

  “Who?” Jordyn asked.

  “Greg,” she said.

  I started smiling because the look on Jordyn’s face was priceless. Jordyn looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders.

  “I just found out last night and I looked just like you too.”

  Mama interrupted with, “Is anyone else coming, because I want to have a word with all of y’all.”

  “Where’s Jules?”, Jordyn asked.

  “Oh, something came up, he can’t make it,” I said.

  “Well,” Jordyn began, “I have a surprise visitor waiting outside.” She got up and went to the door.

  “Oh Lord,” Mama said as if she couldn’t take anymore from Jordyn.

  We sat waiting. It didn’t take long before I was looking into the eyes of Chris Fuller. My mouth fell and I started to mug her. I looked at Jordyn like “are you kidding me???” My rage started to boil. Derrick touched my knee under the table. Pop got up with his overly curious self. He introduced himself and they shook hands. Look at this girl trying her hardest to be a man. I wasn’t sure of my feelings about my sister being gay, but I was sure I didn’t want her to be gay with this punk. I mean, if you want a dude, get with a dude. Why a girl that is trying to look like one? Sorry, Lord. I was acting up again. I simmered down. It’s not like we were gonna fight in my parent’s house.

  “Have a seat, Chris,” I said sternly.

  She was one of them confident gay girls; comfortable in her skin. She’d probably been gay for years. She stood in front of the dining room table and began her speech.

  “I’m not staying, but thank you Journee. Gotta get to work.”

  “Ok.” I said.

  “I wanted to come here to say I really apologize to you and Mrs. Bell for causing a scene at my job and hitting you, Journee.

  Please accept my apology for my actions.” Anita Baker’s song I Apologize starting playing in my head.

  “I was out of line, and I’m sorry for being rude to the two of you.”

  “That was very man-woman of you to come here in person,” Pop said. “You put my daughter in jail behind this bull. You shoulda went to jail too. Hell, you hit her first. But I didn’t raise no punks so, Christine, you gotta be careful who you just walk up on and hit in the eye.” Pop said.

  “Yeah, you do,” Chelsea added.”Well, I did drop all of the charges. Jordyn and I wasn’t on good terms and she failed to tell me she was a twin,” Chris said.

  “You forgot, remember?” Jordyn asked her.

  “You came to my job with another lady and then, this time. I was heated, thinking you were Jordyn. But Jordyn and I talked and I see things better now that she’s opened up more. I see you changed your hair color Journee, looks nice.” Chris said smiling.

  “Thanks,” I said, giving her a blank stare. “I got it colored the day we had that fight and I went to jail.”

  “Thanks for your apology, Christine,” Mama said. “That shows great character on your part and my family and I accept it graciously.”

  “Thank you Mrs. Bell,” she said.

  “Now, if you will excuse us, we have some family time to share here,” Mama said. “I don’t know what your intentions are or why and how you came about it, but I’m sorry, you have to go now!”

  We were silent and watched Mama get up and walk her to the door. Jordyn was about to get up, but Pops stopped her with his hand on her shoulder. She sat back down. Chelsea and I looked at each other and I rolled my eyes. She knew exactly where I was coming from.

  Mama slammed the front door and her steps on the tile floor were hard and fast. I took a deep breath and knew we were in for a verbal ass-whopping. Derrick was the only safe one here. He was headed to Hollywood on his comedy tour. Chelsea was pregnant by Greg. Jordyn was gay, and my new boyfriend and I were on a timeout because he has a baby on the way. I felt like a kid again because I knew what was coming right after we said grace.

  “Amen,” we all said in unison.

  The shortribs were tender and seasoned to the tee! The cornbread was just like Mama taught us how to make it.

  “Now, that I got everyone here,” Mama started, “I have some concerns about the d
irection of all of your lives. Everyone of you seems to be going through a transition, and I want to have an open discussion since we are family. You all are dealt with these different hands and out of love, I want to make sure you are gonna continue to make the right decisions. Now, Chelsea you text Greg and tell him I said not to come this time, cuz we’re about to have a family meeting.”

  She did.

  I love how she eased up to us now that we were grown.

  “I’ll go first,” Chelsea volunteered.

  We all laughed.

  “You’re the brave one,” Pop said.

  “Okay, Chelsea Ann,” Mama said. “Let’s start with you. Great girl, usher at church, you made it to management with the phone company and kept your part time job since college. Now, you’re pregnant and unmarried to a guy who has a girlfriend.”

  “No, they broke up, Mama Sand,” Chelsea said. “And he wants to get married now. I kid you not.”

  “What? How is that when he’s been all over town with this other girl? I even saw them at The Stone Soul Concert.”

  “After many attempts of trying to talk to me, he sent me an email apologizing and telling me how much he misses me.”

  “Well, he didn’t think about that when he started dating another sister at the same church?” Mama asked her. “What do these guys be thinking when they do stuff like that?”

  No one answered her.

  “So that must have been some email that got you knocked up now.”

  “I know, but Mama Sand, these dudes aren’t like Poppa Hen and my dad.”

  “You got that right,” Pops said.

  Derrick cleared his throat and said,

  “Well, times have definitely changed.”

  “Yeah, they have,” I said.

  “If you lived by the Bible, you wouldn’t have so much strife in your lives. You guys are playing by your own rules and are in so much confusion and dysfunction, till it’s almost driving you crazy. I would never date a guy at my church, let him dump me, start going with another sister at church and come back to me, knock me up and say he wants to marry me. Never never never! He would be history. Next!”

  “That’s enough, Sandy!” Pop said.

  “Okay. Chelsea, I’ve been knowing you since you were a little girl and I want the best for you. You’re like my daughter.”

  “I know, Mama Sand.”

  Chelsea started with the waterworks. I rubbed her back. She wiped the two tears and that was the end of the waterworks. Did she change her mind about crying?

  “I agree with you,” Chelsea said. “But it’s not as easy anymore to just say next! I’d been single a long time. Just working and going to school. So many men are into white women, in prison, or gay. So what’s left? I enjoyed the single’s ministry at church and I have spent enough time alone with myself. I remember the days of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl to be his girlfriend, she says yes and they become a couple. Things have changed a lot. Girls are faster than we were and willing to do whatever. Women are taking care of men cause we are making more money now. Not to mention the intimidated brother who doesn’t feel like a man because you’re more successful than him. I prayed about it and Greg and I talked. He poured his heart out to me and I poured mine out to him. We love each other still. It took him being with her to understand his true feelings were for me. We are on one accord now and even though I’m expecting a baby next summer, he knows I expect that marriage proposal too. He’s moving in with me in January.”

  “Really Chelsea?” I asked.

  “I actually was gonna ask if we could to get married in your backyard. But I’ll ask later. I’ll let this simmer for awhile.”

  “Plus, this is Kalena’s week to shine,” Derrick said.

  “Kalena ain’t here so the shine is wherever she is.”

  We all laughed at Mama. She was witty.

  “If the man of the house says okay, then you are more than welcome to get married here.”

  Pop looked at her with some secret code on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was saying “don’t put that on me” or “no, it can’t be here and you know it.”

  “Dinner is good Mama.” Derrick announced.

  “Thanks Derrick. Ya know, I’m proud of you, honey. You are about to live your dream, but you need to be careful and you take God with you everywhere you go. Now, I know your mouth is vulgar, but when you’re on that stage you give the audience your all. But don’t forget to pray everyday. Keep your carrot to yourself too. Don’t be giving out all that groupie love. You need to honor your temple as well.”

  Everyone laughed but Pop.

  “Sand, Derrick is a grown man. It’s gonna be difficult for him. He’s a single man.”

  He’s so double-standard, I thought.

  “He still needs to keep some things in mind and keep God a part of his plan. He needs to stay focused on his craft instead of reaping all the benefits of becoming a celebrity,” Mama said.

  “A celebrity?” Derrick asked, showing that he really liked being considered that.

  “Let me give you guys my contact information where I’ll be staying.”

  He handed my pop an index card. Pop said he would put it on the refrigerator.

  “Please don’t get caught up in that Hollywood lifestyle,” Mama said. “Don’t you start no drug habits and heavy drinking. You stay on the straight and narrow son. We are here for you and you can call us anytime,” Mama said.

  “Except when the Cosby’s are on,” I said, and we all laughed.

  “Hush, Journee, that’s not true. I’ll see why you’re calling first. If it’s not too important, I’ll talk for a few minutes and get back to my show. You like Sex and The City, I respect that. Jordyn likes CSI and Grey’s Anatomy. Your daddy like reruns of The Wire. We all have our vices and The Cosby Show is mine. Now are we clear, Derrick?”

  “Yes we are ma’am. No smoking and no drinking. I will take my Bible and catch Joyce Meyer as often as I can. She’ll be my pastor on the road, and when we talk, Mama, we can pray together. I’m letting God have control over my life now. No more slipping and sliding for me.”

  “Alright, now Derrick. That sounds like a plan.” Mama said.

  “A family that prays together stays together,” Jordyn said.

  Mama looked at Jordyn.

  “Baby, and believe me, I’m praying for you cause you know you are not gay.”

  “Yes I am, Mama.”

  “Naw, you ain’t. How did you become gay when you came from two heterosexuals?”

  “Aren’t you guys born that way?”

  “Well, you weren’t because there were no signs of that when you were coming up. You may just be exploring or trying something new, but no no no honey, you gotta be kidding me with this one. Try again.”

  Mama was going off. Straight lace no chase.

  “I’m going to pray this demon curse off of you ’cause the devil is a liar!”

  “Calm down, Mama,” Jordyn said.

  “Don’t you tell me to calm nothing down. You living this freak lifestyle in the closet. You runnin’ around here ain’t telling nobody, people finding out about on Face got damn book, runnin’ up hitting people in the eye and getting they ass whooped. Ya sister went to jail behind yo ass! Don’t you tell me to do nothing, damnit!”

  Mama slammed her hand down on the table. I know no one was gonna interrupt her again and she usually doesn’t curse.

  It was war now.

  Jordyn done upset Sister Bell.

  “I gave my all raising you and your sister.”

  “Yes, Mama you did,” Jordyn agreed.

  “You had good boyfriends, a normal life. You weren’t molested or raped. Where did this come from? Do you think this is pleasing to God? You think you are going to heaven, Jordyn
? Huh? DO YOU, Jordyn? I feel like slapping the mess out of you and don’t you bring no ex-lover up to my house again, you got it Jordyn Ann Bell?”

  “Mama, this is gonna shake things up a bit.”

  “Jordyn,” Pops interrupted, “you can say whatever you want. We never had a problem with you guys saying what you want, but you had better watch your tone with your mama.”

  Jordyn looked at him. “Yes, sir. This may sound rather blunt, but I’ve dated guys and yes, I’ve enjoyed it. Some are still my close friends. But now, I like pussy… No. I actually love it! There, I’ve said it,” Jordyn admitted.