Dare To Run (The Sons of Steel Row #1)

by Jen McLaughlin

  And it wasn’t time for that yet.

  “Enough,” I gritted out between my clenched teeth. I pushed her shoulders, and she reluctantly let me go. “On your back, darlin’. Open for me.”

  She fell to her elbows, her legs spread and her breathing erratic. Her red lips were wet and swollen, and I wanted nothing more than to taste her. So I did. Curling my hand behind her neck, I melded my mouth to hers and kissed her hungrily. It was in that second that I realized I’d never needed anything, anyone, this damn badly before. For the first time in my life . . .

  I knew I’d feel it when a woman walked away.

  CHAPTER 16

  HEIDI

  The second he pressed his weight onto me, I knew I was a goner. His bare skin, pressed against my bare skin, was almost enough to send me over the edge. I’d been waiting for this since the first moment I saw him, no matter how much I’d tried to deny it. What had existed before only in scorching fantasies was now unfolding before me. And he was right. There would be no going back.

  Lucky for me, I had no desire to go back. I was just fine where I was.

  Part of me knew I was being an idiot. He’d literally handed me a fortune and a new start, and I hadn’t taken it. How many times, as a kid, had I dreamt of that very thing? Of saving enough money and taking off, never to be seen in Boston again? So many times I’d lost count. And yet I’d been given the chance to do that very thing, free of charge, and I hadn’t taken it.

  Adolescent me thought adult me was a freaking fool.

  He hauled my leg up, and I wrapped it around his waist, my insides melting when he pressed his erection up against my core, and all thoughts of condescension against myself faded away. Because adolescent me hadn’t known Lucas Donahue. In the past, it had always taken me a while to be ready for that kind of contact, but with Lucas, all it took was a smirk and a sarcastic reply, and I was there. This was a bad idea because there was no happy ending here.

  But I was going to do it anyway.

  I almost hated myself for it.

  His hand closed over my breast, squeezing with the perfect amount of pressure, and I arched my back, trying to get closer to him. His mouth moved over mine, stealing all rational thought, and I ran my hands down his hard back. I’d had no idea he had ink and a piercing, but it was hot. So hot I couldn’t even process it.

  “No.” He caught my wrists in one hand, trapping them above my head. With his other hand, he cupped my core, his palm pressed against my clitoris. “My turn.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “Yes,” I breathed. “God yes.”

  He kissed a path down my neck, over my shoulder, and scraped his teeth over my nipple. I cried out and strained against his hold, longing to pull him closer, but he didn’t budge. Not even an inch. He sucked harder, making everything inside of me strain for more. By the time he released me, I was a mess of need and frustration.

  “So delicious,” he breathed, his tone almost full of wonder. “I could spend all night teasing you. Taunting you. Tasting you.”

  Unacceptable. Especially when I knew for a fact he could get me off in under sixty seconds. “God, Lucas, I’m going to kick your—”

  He nipped the skin right above my hip. “Uh-uh. No talking back.”

  “But—”

  He nibbled on my hip again, and I drew in a breath through my clenched teeth. “No buts, darlin’.”

  “Lucas.”

  “Good girls get rewarded.” He kissed the spot directly above my hip where he’d bitten, and massaged my butt. “Don’t you want to get rewarded, darlin’?”

  I did. I really did. So I kept my mouth shut and nodded.

  When I remained silent, he grinned. “That’s what I thought.”

  He kissed my thigh before he moved in a little bit more. I held my breath, every inch of me begging for him to do it. To run his tongue over me again, like he’d done earlier. Instead, he lifted himself up and grabbed the condom. I watched him roll it on his long shaft, his hands moving over himself seductively. His eyes were slitted and were focused on me. I bit my tongue to keep the curses from flowing out. “P-please,” I whispered. “I need you, Lucas.”

  His jaw flexed, and he kissed me gently. “Sh.” He skimmed a hand up my thigh and traced my slit. For a second, he teased my entrance, but he pulled back before giving me what I needed from him. He was trying to kill me. “I’m here, darlin’.”

  He kissed me again, and his hand came back between my legs, stroking me gently. I strained against him, wrapping my arms around his neck. My time exploring Lucas’s body had barely taken the edge off my appetite, and now he was killing me with those barely there caresses. His tongue circled around mine before he pulled back, ending the kiss. When he pulled back, he cupped my cheeks and gave me a small smile.

  He kissed the tip of my nose, and my whole body warmed.

  That, right there?

  It was why I’d fallen in love with him. He was this hardened, jaded soul, but with me . . . well, he wasn’t. And it was only with me, so that meant something. He made me feel as if I was the only person on the earth that mattered to him. The only one he showed this soft, sweet, lovable side to. It made what we had, however temporary it might be, all the more special.

  “This is a mistake, but, sweetheart, I’ll make sure that I’m the best mistake you’ve ever made,” he said, twisting his lips into a small smile. “That I can promise you.”

  Before I could form a reply, he kissed me one more time and lowered his body over mine, dropping kisses as he went. By the time he reached where I ached for him most, I was desperate. I’d have given anything to have his mouth on me. Agreed to anything. Sold my soul to the devil himself. Lucas didn’t tease me this time. Didn’t get close before backing off. No, this time he closed his mouth over me right away, and oh my God—

  I curled my hands in his hair and moved my hips, closing the rest of the world out and letting myself slip away. When he’d touched me in the kitchen and made me come in seconds with nothing more than a few flicks of his wrist, I’d thought that was heaven. Boy, I had been wrong. His mouth on me was heaven. The tension in me coiled tighter, and I moved my hips faster. And when he hardened his strokes against me, his tongue driving me to edges that I’d never known existed, I screamed out, “Lucas.”

  He gripped my hip with one hand and thrust a finger inside me at the same time as his tongue lashed out. I gripped his hair even tighter, yanking on it unintentionally, and he growled. I lifted my hips once, twice, and then . . .

  Everything exploded, and I felt as if I flew away.

  Before I could crash back down to earth, he lifted my hips. He rubbed his erection against my already sensitive clit, and I stiffened in disbelief. Stars burst in front of my vision and I came again, even harder than before. “Oh my God.”

  “So fucking hot,” he growled, his jaw hard and his body even harder. His mouth slammed down on mine and he thrust inside me with one sure stroke. I closed my legs around him, holding on for dear life, because he’d swept me away on a tide of pleasure, and I was scared I’d never be able to catch my breath again. And I didn’t want to.

  He didn’t give me time to adjust to him inside me, and I was glad for it. It had been a long time and he was big, but I was too far gone to care about any discomfort he’d caused. He needed to move, take me, and claim me as his. I needed to feel him, needed to see him come as explosively as he’d made me come. His tongue swept into my mouth as his hips moved in a fast, steady rhythm, and I tasted myself on him. When he moved faster, I clung to him, climbing higher and higher all over again. He broke the kiss off and bit down on my shoulder, hard enough to nearly break me from my haze of pleasure.

  But it only made it stronger.

  Gasping for air, I buried my face in his neck and did the same to him, biting down to keep the cries from escaping my lips, tasting the saltiness of his skin. “Lucas . . . I . . . I need . . .”

  “I know what you need, darlin’.” He lifted my hips higher and slammed ins
ide of me, hitting a spot that I’d only read about in romance books. “You need me.”

  I choked on a sob and punched his shoulder. “M-more. Harder.”

  For once, he didn’t argue. He just gave me what I needed. Almost more than I could handle. My whole body tingled and went numb, and I dug my nails into his back, dragging them down till I cupped his ass. And I pulled him even closer, because no matter how close we were, I couldn’t get close enough. My heart pounded, and another sob escaped my lips. He reached between us, his fingers brushing against my clit, and he thrust inside of me completely. Then finally, thank God, all the pressure that had been building up inside of me popped. I’d never felt so incredibly free before.

  He groaned and thrust inside of me once, twice, and a third time. His whole body tensed, and he threw his head back, his muscles straining, as he came inside me. The look of complete rapture on his face was strangely moving, and I moaned.

  His muscular arms—the ones I’d admired from the start—flexed, and he lowered his body onto mine, cradling me to him tenderly. “Jesus, Heidi. I . . . shit.”

  I nodded, my lips pressed to the side of his neck. “I know. Me, too.”

  We both fell silent, and I was glad. I was afraid that if I talked right now, I’d turn into a babbling mess and say something really stupid. Something like how that had been the most amazing night of my life, or how he’d made me feel things I’d never felt before. Or how he made me feel special, even though I knew I meant nothing to him at all. How I loved him, and it was okay that I knew he would never love me back. Or even worse, how I wished we could freeze time in this moment.

  Stay like this, naked and joined, forever.

  But thoughts of reality kept intruding. His own brother was plotting Lucas’s execution. Living on the streets had made me tough, but my experience with Bitter Hill proved I was out of my depth in Lucas’s world. Quite frankly, his world scared me.

  And I didn’t want him to die.

  Lucas kissed my temple and pulled back. When his gaze latched onto mine, I forced a smile. He didn’t need to know I was worried, or that I wished I could save him from the choice he was facing. Because I knew how his world worked.

  If his brother didn’t kill him . . .

  He’d have to kill his brother. And no one should have to do that.

  “Regrets already?” he asked, his voice low.

  “No, not at all.” I brushed his hair off his forehead, damp from sweat. “What’s there to regret? Mind-blowing orgasms?”

  He laughed. “Well, when you put it that way . . .” Pulling out of me, he pushed off the bed and crossed the room naked. “I can’t argue.”

  I watched him go, because I couldn’t not watch. My willpower wasn’t that strong. He removed the condom and chucked it in the trash. When he turned to me, his arm folded behind his neck as he scratched his back, the dancing laughter was gone from his eyes. I stiffened. “Don’t start again. I’m not leaving.”

  “The sex didn’t change anything,” he said, looking way too serious for what we’d just done together. “It just paused the argument.”

  I rolled to my feet and glared at him, his nudity no longer a distraction. “Like hell it was only paused. Nothing you say or do will change my mind.”

  “We’re going around in circles.” He stalked over to me, each step angrier than the last. “I’m trying to save your ass, while you seem determined to constantly put it in danger. What is it going to take to make you see reason?”

  I crossed my arms. “Since it’s my ass, I get to decide what happens to it. Not you.”

  “When you gave yourself to me, it became my ass, too.” That muscle I was becoming all too familiar with in his jaw ticked again. “You became mine the second you said the words I told you not to say.”

  I lifted my chin and snorted. “The hell I did. I go where I want, when I want, and you don’t own my ass—or any part of me. Got it, Lucky?”

  He gripped my chin, his touch firm yet somehow gentle. “That’s how this is gonna be? That’s your final stance?”

  “Yes.” I pulled free from his grip. He let me. “What are you going to do about Scotty?”

  His brows slammed down. “You don’t need to know anything about that.”

  “I think it’s a reasonable question. I might not be a part of Steel Row, but I know how it works. I know you have to act fast, and I know it’ll be ugly, no matter what you choose.” I bit down on my cheek, trying to select my words carefully. “And I also know that both of our lives count on what you decide to do.”

  “They don’t have to.” He gripped my shoulders. “You could leave, right now, and start over. You have nothing tying you here. No family. No kids. No lovers.”

  I ignored the small jab of pain his words caused me. Guess that answered the question of how Lucas categorized our relationship: a mutually satisfying lay and nothing more. Not that it was a huge surprise. Yes, I’d admitted to myself that I loved him, but I hadn’t slept with him because I hoped he might love me, too. No, I’d slept with him because I’d wanted to. Nothing more, nothing less.

  But still, I felt vulnerably naked.

  I crossed my arms in front of my bare chest. “I might not have a man tying me down, but that doesn’t mean I have nothing. I have my bar, the legacy Frankie left me, the only home I’ve ever really known. And I have employees who count on me to show up for work.”

  He ground his teeth together so hard that I heard them scraping against each other. “Enough.”

  Without another word, his mouth met mine, and he kissed me until I was breathless and clinging. By the time the kiss ended, I’d nearly forgotten what we’d been arguing about in the first place. He lifted me in his arms, laid me down in the bed, and tucked me in. “Sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

  “Yes, sir,” I mumbled. His high-handed command made me want to go another round, but truth be told, I was done, too. It was like arguing with a wall. It wouldn’t get me anywhere. “Are you going to turn in, too?”

  “Yeah.” He stepped into a pair of gray sweats and walked to the door. When he got there, he stared at me, his hair mussed and his chest marred with scratches. Scratches I’d put there. “Sleep tight.”

  I yawned and burrowed under the blankets. But then I realized I was tucked in and he was leaving. “Wait. Where are you going?”

  “Heidi . . .” Resting a hand on the switch, he gave me an exasperated look. He took a step toward me but then stopped, flexing his jaw. “You know where I’m going.”

  “To work on cars?”

  He shook his head once. “No. I’m going to go change the lock, and then I’m gonna crash.”

  “Oh.” I threw the covers back. “I can help you, and then we can go to bed together. I’d like to—”

  He crossed the room and pushed the covers over my legs again. “No.”

  “But—” I blinked at him. “Why?”

  “Because I’m not coming back in here, Heidi. My opinion on sleeping next to another person hasn’t changed.”

  “Seriously?” I lifted up on an elbow. “You still won’t sleep with me, after all that? What do you think I’m going to do to you?”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he shut off the light and walked out, closing the door gently behind him. I stared at it, wondering what the hell he had against sharing a bed. And why I wanted so badly for him to come back . . .

  Even though he pissed me off more than any other man ever had before.

  CHAPTER 17

  LUCAS

  I woke up slowly to the sound of bacon frying, and the accompanying delicious aroma teased my senses into full awareness. For a second, I couldn’t figure out who the hell would be cooking me breakfast on a Wednesday morning. Then everything came rushing back, and I jerked straight up. The couch had been even more uncomfortable last night than it had been before, and I’d slept horribly. I’d been two seconds from crawling into bed with Heidi.

  Then I’d remembered I didn’t spoon with women, and I
’d stayed the fuck on the couch. Rolling my shoulders, I winced and glanced into the kitchen. Heidi tapped her foot as she cooked, her earbuds in, and she sang along silently to music only she could hear.

  In the short time I’d known Heidi, I’d learned that she couldn’t just be. Silence and Heidi didn’t get along, which was funny considering how much silence and I did get along.

  Lurching to my feet, I stretched, groaning and yawning at the same time. Heidi kept cooking, in her own little world, oblivious to the fact that I was up. Or she didn’t give a damn. Either way, she didn’t see me slip inside my bedroom with my phone.

  Before I’d passed out last night, I kept going over the situation with Scotty, and I’d decided to confront the issue head-on. I was going to arrange a face-to-face with Scotty and let him know his secrets were out. He was getting one chance to get his shit together, or I’d do what needed to be done.

  No matter how much I didn’t want to.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed and sent the text before I changed my mind. Hey, can we meet up for lunch at Charlie’s? I wanted to talk to you about a few things.

  Chris would tell me I was being a fool, opening myself up for an attack like this. But Scotty wasn’t just an enemy—he was my blood, my little brother. I remembered holding his hand when I walked him to school, making a lopsided birthday cake when he turned ten, his grin when I gave him that game system as a Christmas present. I’d saved up all year for that. And now I needed to get through to him, one way or another.

  My phone buzzed with Scotty’s response. Sure. What time?

  I glanced at the clock. It was shortly after nine thirty. I’d slept in. Eleven. Come alone.

  He didn’t reply, affirmatively or negatively. Shaking my head, I texted Brian, Tate’s right-hand man. Meeting up with Scotty in Charlie’s at eleven. Need anything while I’m there?