Dare To Run (The Sons of Steel Row #1)

by Jen McLaughlin

Shaking my head, I stumbled back more, until I hit the wall. Finally, I snapped out of it and scanned the room. “L-Lucas? Lucas!”

  “Here,” he said from the left. “Are you hit?”

  I turned my head and found him. He had blood running down his face and it looked as if he’d ripped the stitches open in his arm, but otherwise . . .

  He looked uninjured.

  Besides the fact that Chris had a gun aimed at him and he was defenseless. And we were both about to die. Yeah, besides that, he looked great.

  “No.” I forced myself to breathe. I’d forgotten how. “You?”

  “I’m fine.” He looked at me and smiled. Actually smiled, as if we weren’t seconds from being as dead as the guy at my feet. My heart twisted so hard I was sure I would fall over dead, or that I’d been shot in the chest. But I wasn’t bleeding out. I was just dying because I knew how this ended. “Four down. One to go.”

  Chris clamped a hand over his shoulder, which gushed blood. “I’m not going down. You might have shot me, but I’ll be walking away from this alive. Sign the fucking will.”

  They stared each other down, neither one moving. I didn’t know what was happening here, but I could feel the energy charging through the room. After what felt like months of silence, Lucas spoke. “You let her walk out of here after she signs it, and then I’ll sign. But not till she’s clear of here. After that, you can try to kill me. If you succeed, you’ll be set. That’s the only way you get what you want.”

  I blinked at him. “No. You can’t—”

  “Yeah. I can,” he snapped. “Well? What’s it gonna be, Chris?”

  Chris didn’t answer at first. He stared at Lucas, opening and closing his fist, gun pointed at the man I loved, but otherwise remained motionless. “You seem to think you have some sort of bargaining chip over me. That you’re the one with the upper hand. You’re not. And I’ll prove it.”

  Aiming at Lucas’s shoulder, Chris squeezed the trigger. In what seemed like slow motion, I screamed and threw myself in front of him at the same time as the boom of the shot exploded in the silent room. I didn’t think. Didn’t hesitate. Didn’t even breathe.

  I just moved.

  As I flew toward him, I saw Lucas’s face—the shock clearly written across it as I did my best to save his life. As if he couldn’t believe I’d do so.

  I hit the ground hard, slamming my right shoulder into the table by the door as I slid. The whole time, I didn’t take my eyes off Lucas. I watched him, making sure he didn’t fall to the floor with lifeless eyes. He just stood there, mouth wide, and then fell to his knees at my side. “Jesus fucking Christ, Heidi. What the hell are you doing?”

  His hands roamed over me, taking in every inch of me, and I finally breathed in. The oxygen filled my lungs, burning, but it didn’t matter. He was alive.

  “Are you hit?” His hands trembled as they ran over me. He didn’t come back with bloody hands, and I didn’t feel pain, so I was pretty sure the answer was no. “Jesus, Heidi. You can’t . . . Christ.” He hugged me close, his arms strong and steady.

  “I’m fine. I’m not hurt.” I finally managed to find my voice, gripping his shoulders tight. Then I whispered, “But you need to finish this.”

  Lucas lunged for his gun, but he was too slow. Chris cocked his gun and aimed right at my head, freezing Lucas midreach. “Do it, and she dies. Right here. Right now. I won’t miss this time. And her blood will be on your hands.”

  Lucas held his hands up, swallowing so hard I saw his Adam’s apple bob. He didn’t take his eyes off Chris. “I’ll sign the fucking papers, okay? Don’t hurt her.” Lucas picked up the paper and pen. “Sign it, darlin’.”

  Blinking back tears, I did as I was told, knowing it would be the last thing I ever did. My hand shook so hard that it was barely legible, but I did it. “Lucas . . .”

  “I know, sweetheart.” He took the pen out of my shaking hands. “I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” He signed the paper, but his hand didn’t waver. After he finished, he set it on the table and pushed me behind him, blocking me with his own body. “You got what you wanted. Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.”

  Chris smiled. “Told you I’d win. That’s what happens when you care about someone else—you lose. You knew that already, though, didn’t you?”

  I swallowed hard. “Go to hell.”

  Chris smiled even wider. “Gladly. But you’ll go there first.” He pointed the gun at Lucas’s head. “Any last words, brother?”

  “Fuck you,” Lucas snarled. “Those are my last words.”

  And then he lunged for Chris. The men fell to the floor in a tangle of legs and arms. They moved so fast, both fighting for their lives, that I couldn’t tell who was who. A gunshot boomed, and they both froze, neither one moving.

  I struggled to my feet, wheezing for air because I couldn’t breathe. “Lucas! Oh my God, Lucas!”

  “No one move,” a familiar voice said from the doorway. I hadn’t even heard him arrive, but apparently he was the one who’d shot the gun. He held it aimed at the pair of men, his grip steady and his eyes locked on them. “Get up. Hands in the air.”

  Lucas rolled to his feet, hands up. He had another bruise forming on his left eye, and it had swollen shut already. Blood covered his face, and he looked as if he struggled to breathe, but I didn’t see any bullet holes in him. “Scotty?”

  Chris struggled to stand, looking a lot worse for the wear than Lucas.

  He didn’t say anything.

  “What’s going on here?” Scotty asked, aiming for Chris. Well, at least we had someone on our side, and not the other way around. “Give me one good reason not to shoot you in the head, right now.”

  Chris laughed. It sounded maniacal. “Go ahead. See if I care.”

  “Why are you here?” Lucas asked. “How did you know . . .?”

  “I didn’t.” Scotty’s finger flexed on the trigger. “I had no idea any of this shit was happening. I was just in the neighborhood and heard the shots.”

  Lucas stared at Scotty, knowledge in his eyes. Knowledge of what? I wasn’t sure. But it looked as if he watched Scotty with . . . with . . . pride. And a little bit of fear, too. Lucas wiped away the blood that rolled down across his mouth. “Don’t shoot him. He’s gonna walk out of here, and so are we. Everyone’s walking away alive.”

  I pressed a hand to my chest, my heart thudding loudly. “Lucas.”

  “I know, sweetheart.” He spared me a quick glance, running his gaze over me before turning back to Chris. Picking up the paper, he handed it off. “You’re still gonna have to actually fight for this, even with a note, but my position is now yours. I’m dead. Now, get the fuck out of here before I change my mind.”

  Chris clutched the paper to his chest.

  Scotty watched them both, eyes narrowed.

  “He’ll never play along,” Chris said, tipping his head to Scotty. “What’s to stop him from telling everyone what he saw here?”

  “Nothing,” Scotty answered. “You remember that, little fuck—”

  “He won’t tell anyone,” Lucas said quickly, his gaze darting back and forth between his brother and Chris. “Right, Scotty?”

  “Damn it, Lucas.” Scotty frowned but said, “Fine. Whatever. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

  Chris shifted on his feet. “But—”

  “He said he wouldn’t tell anyone,” Lucas growled.

  Scotty hesitated but nodded. “As long as you stay away from Lucas . . . and Heidi . . . yeah. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

  “I don’t understand,” Chris said slowly. “Why are you giving up everything when you could kill me instead?”

  “I’m not giving up everything,” Lucas said, watching me with warm green eyes. “I’m keeping the thing that matters most, and I don’t want more blood on my hands.”

  My heart wrenched. I didn’t know what to say to that, and I wasn’t about to question him in front of the other men, so I said nothing.

  Chri
s rolled his eyes. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’ve never been more serious in my life,” Lucas said, still watching me as if he waited for . . . I don’t know. A sign from me? “We’ll be gone within the hour. Now, get the fuck out.”

  Chris nodded and walked to the door. There was a tense moment when Scotty didn’t back out of the way, not letting Chris pass, but then he stepped aside, gun still trained on Chris. “One wrong move, and you’re dead. You remember that.”

  Chris nodded, took one final look at Lucas, and then left. The door closed below us. I collapsed against the wall, my heart thudding in my ears faster than a racehorse. “Oh my God. You did it. We’re alive.”

  “Yeah.” Lucas set the pen down and turned to me. He pulled me into his arms, those strong muscles I was so familiar with closing around me and hugging me tight, but it didn’t stop the trembling. “We did it. Together. Thank you, Scotty.”

  Scotty closed the door and walked to the window, watching. “I didn’t do anything. But you guys need to get out of here. He could come back with more guys.”

  Lucas let go of me. It took all my strength not to cling to him.

  “How long?” Lucas asked.

  Scotty stiffened. “How long for what?”

  “How long have you been a cop?”

  “Wait. What?” I asked, mouth open. “Scotty’s not . . .” Oh, crap. He totally was. The guilty look on his face said as much. “Oh. Wow.”

  Scotty dropped his head back on the glass. “How did you figure it out?”

  “The way you spoke. The way you held yourself. And the way you lied when I asked how you knew what was going on here.” Lucas shrugged. “I put two and two together. Am I wrong?”

  “No.” Scotty shook his head slowly. “You’re not wrong.”

  Lucas’s chest puffed out with pride, but that fear was still there. “If they find out . . .”

  “I’m a dead man. I know.” Scotty dragged his hand through his hair. “You think I don’t know? I don’t care. I have to make this town clean again. For Ma.”

  Lucas staggered back a step but caught himself. “I know.”

  “Why didn’t you rat me out?” Scotty asked. “You could’ve. Still could.”

  “I’m not going to do that to you.”

  I watched them, unable to take my eyes off the two of them.

  Scotty dragged his hands down his face. “Thank you.”

  “I gave Chris the paper so you could keep your cover. If you arrested him, your cover would be blown. You’d be done. And if we killed him, you’d have to answer for two deaths. At least this way, it looks like Bitter Hill attacked, and I lost. Bitter Hill took me, abducted me, and killed me off. Never returned the body. You both saw it happen but couldn’t save us. Easy to explain, clear-cut. No one will suspect a thing. You can keep an eye on Chris, and he’ll steer clear of you out of fear for what you’ll say, or you can kill him off later. But whatever you decide, you better watch your back.”

  “Thank you,” Scotty said, his voice low. His green eyes, which had once chilled me to the bone, looked fraught with emotion now. “I know you thought that I wanted you dead . . . it killed me to let you think that. All I’ve ever done is try to keep you safe.”

  Lucas nodded. “I know. Were you really trying to get me in jail again?”

  “Yeah. I put you there the first time, too.” Scotty scratched his head and shuffled his feet. “But only because I wanted you to be safe. To stay out of trouble. I could keep an eye on you there. Not because I hated you.”

  The men stared at each other.

  When Lucas said nothing, Scotty cleared his throat. “You need to pack. Get to it. I’ll keep watch outside.”

  And with that, he walked out.

  We were alone.

  Lucas stared at the closed door, not moving. I wrapped my arms around myself, swallowing hard. “It wasn’t . . . Scotty didn’t . . . We lived.”

  My words seemed to snap him out of his trance. “We lived.” He came up to me and cupped my cheek. His touch was so tender, but just seconds ago, he’d been killing men in front of me. He was splattered with blood and God only knew what else, and so was I. “But it’s time to get moving, or we won’t be alive for long.”

  I shook my head. “This still doesn’t make sense to me.”

  “I can’t live that life anymore. I don’t want it. Not now that I . . .” He pressed his lips together, seeming to struggle with words. “We don’t have time to talk about this. It’s time to pack.”

  I collapsed into a chair. “Right. Pack.”

  He was leaving. I’d never see him again. I’d known it would happen, and I’d known it would hurt when he did leave. But I hadn’t expected it to hurt this much. The threat was over. The Bitter Hill guys who’d been after me were dead, Scotty was actually a cop—which I still hadn’t wrapped my head around—and Chris had gotten what he wanted.

  Lucas had given everything up to save me.

  Everything.

  Lucas dug out the envelope full of money from a kitchen drawer and shoved it into a bag, before walking into the bedroom. As he passed me, he frowned. “Move your pretty little ass, darlin’. As soon as Chris gives that will to Tate, there will be people coming here to look for my body, needing to confirm my death. We’re done here.”

  Blinking, I stood up. It hadn’t even occurred to me to, you know, leave. He was done with me, and I was sitting here like an idiot, watching him pack up and walk out of my life. As if I’d expected a tender good-bye. A kiss or a hug, or something. But no. I got a “Move your pretty little ass, darlin’.” Maybe it was stupid, but I really expected something more, after all we’d been through. “O-oh. Right. I’ll . . . yeah. I’ll get going.”

  “Good. Don’t forget—” When I walked past him and headed for the door, he broke off, blinking. “Wait—where the hell are you going? Just because Scotty’s out there doesn’t mean it’s safe out there. We can hit the bar and your apartment next.”

  “I know,” I said quickly. “You have to go, and I get that. I don’t want to slow you down. I need to—wait, the bar and my apartment?”

  “You . . .” His grip tightened on me. Something haunted him, something dark and raw and real, but he turned away before I could figure out what. “You want me to go alone?”

  “I thought you wanted to go alone.” I pulled free. “Why would I go with you now? It’s over.”

  “I thought . . .” He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought you would come with me. I said those things to Chris and Scotty, and you didn’t . . . you agreed.”

  “Yeah, but you didn’t mean any of that, right?” I laughed, expecting him to join in and say something cocky like usual. He didn’t. “Lucas?”

  “I—I don’t know how to do this. How to say the shit I want to say to you, Heidi. I . . .” He dropped his hands to his sides, fisted them, and closed the distance between us. “Fuck it. I’m going all in.”

  The confusion inside me only increased. “What—?”

  He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me.

  CHAPTER 29

  LUCAS

  The second her lips touched mine, I put every single fucking feeling that crashed through me into that kiss. The feelings I didn’t understand yet, the feelings that frankly scared the shit outta me, and even the belief that we could be happy together. It was all there for her, laid out as simply as possible, in the form of a kiss.

  I knew I needed to say the words, too, but this was a start.

  Earlier, in front of two other men, I’d put my heart on the table and let her know just how badly I wanted to be with her. I’d said I wasn’t losing because I got her. But now it seemed like I didn’t have her, because she hadn’t even believed me, and I had to fix that. When she’d said she was going to run with me, she’d made me the happiest man on this planet. I’d thought she actually wanted to be with me. But she hadn’t really meant it.

  She hadn’t even believed me.

  He
idi moaned into my mouth, her hands clutching at my shoulders as she twirled her tongue around mine. Breaking off the kiss, I rested my forehead on hers, breathing heavily. Her breaths matched mine. “I know I’m not a good person,” I said. “Not even close.”

  She blinked up at me and pulled back. “Yes. You are.”

  “No. I’m not.” I shook my head. “But you make me better. You make me want to be good. I know I’ll fuck it up, and I know next to nothing about life outside of”—I gestured to the dead bodies on the floor—“well, this hellhole. But I also know what it feels like to be with you. And it feels good, sweetheart. You can’t stay here, with them. You have to come with me. I need you to come with me.”

  Biting down on her lip, she stepped out of my arms. They’d never felt so damn empty before. “I like being with you, too—”

  “Let me finish. I know it’s asking a lot, but I want . . .” I gestured between her and me impatiently. “I want this. With you. I want to spend the rest of my life protecting you. Taking care of you.”

  “Is that what this is?” She blinked rapidly, but she looked less than convinced. If anything, she looked even more skeptical. “Is this just you finding yet another way to keep me safe?”

  “You’ll never be safer than when you are with me,” I argued.

  “The thing is, you already gave up everything for me. Walked away from everything you know. Everything you wanted.” She gestured at the apartment. “You don’t have to spend the rest of your life keeping me safe because you think it’s the right thing to do. You did enough for me.”

  “No.” I shook my head. She didn’t get it. “Please, darlin’.”

  She gripped the top of my couch, keeping it as a barrier between us. “Please, what?”

  “I’m not asking you to run away with me because I want to save you, like a hero. I already told you, I’m not one. And I never will be.”

  “Lucas . . .”

  “I’m asking you to run away with me because I want that life. And I want it with you. I want it so fucking bad. Run with me, sweetheart. Live a normal life, in the safest town in America, as far away from here as possible. Live in a normal house, with a fence. Plant an ugly garden with me.” I stalked across the living room. “I know you can do better than me. I know you deserve better, too. And I know you love that shitty little bar across the street, but you know what? I . . . I . . .”