Picnics in Hyde Park

by Nikki Moore

  Zoe sighed, shaking her head again. Hypocritical or what? She’d been avoiding it, but there were a few things she and her Aunt had to say to one another. It couldn’t go on like this, especially now they were living in the same country. Even if what she’d done before leaving for the States had been for the right reasons, she’d hurt her aunt and needed to make amends. Especially if she was ever going to have the relationship she wanted to with her sister again. The three of them—Mel, Ruth and herself—might not be perfect but together they formed a lop-sided triangle. At the moment, she was the weak link.

  Hitting the contacts list and call button before she could think too much about it, she held her breath as the phone rang, standing and wading through the chilly water while watching the kids. Jasper was giggling joyously as he zigzagged back and forth across the fountain in a game of chase with his sister and their new friends and Aimee had a rare, wide smile on her face.

  ‘Yes, hello?’

  ‘Hi, Aunt Ruth. It’s me.’

  ‘Oh, hello.’

  ‘I thought I’d call and see how you are, and if you and Melody are getting on okay?’

  ‘We’re fine,’ her aunt’s voice was as frigid as the water Zoe was standing in.

  She took a deep breath, pressing on. ‘Good. How’s Melody doing? I spoke with her the week before last and have sent her some messages but she’s not really been in touch, so—’

  ‘I’m not sure what you said to her, but she was ever so upset,’ Ruth cut across her.

  ‘Oh. Was she? We had a bit of a disagreement, it’s true, but I hadn’t realised I’d upset her this much.’ That explained her sister’s minimal contact. ‘I apologised at the time. Can I talk to her?’

  There was a pause. ‘She’s not here at the moment. She’s gone down to the pier to meet an old school friend.’

  ‘Anyone I’d know?’

  ‘I don’t think so, with you two being so many years apart in age.’

  Zoe stared at the azure sky, praying for patience. No matter what she did, in her aunt’s eyes it was wrong. Why did it have to be so difficult? ‘Fine. I’ll try her mobile then.’

  ‘I wouldn’t bother. She’s left it here on the sideboard.’

  Zoe wondered if that was a fabrication and was half tempted to ring her sister to prove her aunt wrong, but the point-scoring games between them had to stop. ‘Okay,’ she said reasonably. ‘I’ll try her later. In the meantime, I thought it might be good for us to talk. The next day off I have, I’d like to come and see you.’

  ‘You would?’ Her aunt sounded taken aback. ‘Why?’

  ‘We have things to discuss. I’d like to clear the air. I know you don’t agree with what I did, but you shouldn’t take it personally. It wasn’t a criticism of your care, I just wanted—’

  ‘You’re right,’ Ruth interrupted, ‘you need to come visit. This conversation is hardly one to be done by phone. I have things to say too.’

  Zoe winced. Of course she did. What a lovely discussion that was sure to be. ‘I’ll let you know when I can come.’

  ‘I’ll wait to hear from you. In the meantime, are you getting any further on with finding out what on earth happened? Your sister still hasn’t heard from Stephen.’

  ‘Not really,’ Zoe admitted, feeling like a failure. Thinking back to the afternoon in Green Park with her fellow nannies. ‘Other than Melody is supposed to have done something pretty unforgivable, though I don’t know what.’

  ‘Tosh!’ Ruth exclaimed. ‘I don’t believe it. You need to keep digging.’

  ‘I know. I will,’ Zoe promised. Staring at Aimee and Jasper having such a great time together, she gulped. Siblings should always be there for each other, no matter what. ‘Take care, Aunt Ruth. Bye.’ Ending the call, her shoulders slumped. How did she do right by her sister, while also doing right by Matt’s children? If she hurt him, she hurt them.

  9

  ‘Matt, I’m sorry,’ Zoe said as soon as he loped up the stairs from the studio and into the kitchen later on that evening. ‘I didn’t even think to ask if it was okay to take them to Hyde Park.’

  Not answering, he acknowledged her apology with a curt nod. Striding over to the sink he turned the tap on with a jerk, grabbing a posh blue glass from one of the cupboards. She stared at his broad shoulders outlined in a thin white t-shirt, the shifting muscles of his back visible through the light fabric. Gulping, she leaned over and checked the homemade lasagne through the orange-lit glass on the front of the oven, peering in at the cheese bubbling nicely on the surface of the pasta.

  Thank goodness he’d come up before she’d served dinner. It gave them the chance to talk alone while the children listened to what Jasper referred to as Daddy’s Music in the enormous white lounge. The last time she’d put her head in, they’d been bopping around the room to the latest pop track by one of the cutting-edge girl groups signed to Matt’s label. Throwing their arms in the air and shaking their heads, they’d danced with no inhibitions and no self-consciousness. Zoe had grinned with amazement at seeing Aimee express herself so freely, remembering the little girl of a few weeks before who was only interested in reading. Jasper had catapulted himself onto one of the white sofas and was bouncing up and down on it with sweet abandon. Wondering if she should tell him to stop, she decided the furniture must be mega-expensive and should therefore be strong enough to cope.

  Straightening now, she spun around to find Matt right in front of her, only a few inches between them. ‘Oh, hi.’ She fumbled with the tea towel in her hands. ‘Wow, you moved quietly. Look—’

  ‘Melody never took them,’ he butted in, ‘so I’ve never had to deal with how it might feel.’

  ‘I completely understand. Next time anything like that happens, and I think it could be a sensitive issue for you because of Helen, I’ll check with you. Melody probably didn’t take them because she didn’t want to upset them. Aimee wanted to go though, so I thought we should try.’

  He expelled a breath. ‘I’m not angry, Zoe. I was just upset earlier. I find it hard.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said in a soft voice, understanding his grief, ‘I get that. I lost both my parents when I was in my early teens and when I went back to our old house a couple of years later it was one of the most challenging moments of my life. Thinking of the happy times and memories of my parents only highlighted that I’d never have new memories to make with them. Seeing another family living where we used to, a bike I didn’t recognise propped against the porch, the eaves painted beige whereas Mum had painted them an ice-lolly orange, a strange tabby cat licking its paws in the garden…’ Pausing, she swallowed past the enormous lump in her throat. ‘I think that was the first time I truly started to accept that they really weren’t coming back.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said in a deep voice, eyes compassionate. ‘That must have been tough, losing both of them at once.’ Touching her arm, he shifted closer, and she had nowhere to go, crowded against the oven.

  ‘Thank you,’ she replied, gazing into his forest green eyes, noting again the pretty petal pattern within the irises. ‘The reason I mention it is so you know I appreciate what you’re going through and how you must feel about the thought of going back there.’ She raced on, determined to stick to the subject and not get distracted by the tingles of warmth spreading through her body. ‘But the kids enjoyed it, Matt. Jasper didn’t seem to remember it much, but Aimee talked about a lot of happy times when you went as a family.’ He stepped back and put his hands on his lean hips, dropping his head. Zoe sped on, needing to get it all out before he closed down again. ‘She showed me the plaque you commissioned. It was a lovely thought. I think having it in a beautiful park rather than visiting a gravestone might help Aimee deal with missing her mum. It did her the world of good. They want to go back again. Maybe you can take them once a week or something? Even if you don’t have time for them to play in the fountain each time, I still think it would be a nice idea to—’

  ‘Zoe, don’t. Stop, please.’ Matt
lifted his head and she was so stunned by the depth of pain in his face that she sucked in a sharp breath. He shuddered. ‘I can’t.’

  ‘I understand you must miss her and it would make you sad. But it might be good for you as well as the kids.’

  ‘Yes, that’s it, I miss her and it would be very sad.’ Matt repeated almost robotically.

  She frowned. It wasn’t the response she’d expected, or at least, not the delivery of it. ‘Can you just give it some thought?’ she murmured. ‘I think it would mean a lot to them. If you want, I can take them until you’re ready to?’

  He stared at her so long that she raised a hand to her face to make sure there was nothing on it, wiping her cheeks. Nope, no crumbs, no food.

  ‘You would do that?’ he asked at last.

  ‘Yes. I care about them.’

  His mouth curved, eyes crinkling. ‘Yeah, I can see that.’ Nodding, ‘I’d appreciate it. Thanks. I’ll go and get the kids to set the table.’ He swung back around to face her, ‘Oh, remind me at dinner I’ve got something to give you.’

  ‘You have? What is it?’ she asked, clutching the tea towel. ‘I love surprises. Well,’ she crinkled her nose, ‘good ones anyway.’

  ‘It was going to be a surprise, but I’m rubbish at keeping them. My face can’t lie. Hopefully it’s a good one. I thought you might like your own car.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘Really? I mean, I’m happy to walk and Jasper loves going on the bus, but that would be great. It’d be nice to take the kids somewhere a bit further afield.’

  ‘It’s no problem. Just be warned, it’s not very flash.’

  ‘Hey, I’ll take anything I’m given.’ She grinned at the thought of taking the kids on an adventure. About to turn away to see to dinner, she was totally shocked when Matt suddenly scooped her up in a quick hug. Her toes barely scraped the floor and she clung onto his shoulders with a squeak, scorching awareness shimmering down her spine as the heat of his toned chest warmed her boobs. ‘Matt?’

  ‘God, you’re great. Thank you so much,’ he said into her neck.

  ‘That’s fine,’ she choked, staring up at him as he released her and stepped back.

  ‘Sorry, that wasn’t very appropriate, was it?’ He looked sheepish. ‘Bosses don’t usually go around hugging employees. It’s just that you’ve made such a difference to the kids already. I’m really grateful. Melody was nice to the children and they got on well,’ a flicker of uncertainty crossed his dark features, ‘but you’ve arrived and straight away seen everything so clearly, everything that the kids needed that I couldn’t recognise. Even though we’ve had some difficult conversations that must’ve been as uncomfortable for you as they were for me, it’s all been to make my kids happier. And they are.’

  Zoe gulped, feeling both flattered and guilty. ‘I’m just doing my job.’

  He waved a hand. ‘It’s more than that,’ he dismissed. ‘But anyway, I won’t embarrass either of us any longer. You get dinner sorted and I’ll get Aimee and Jasper.’

  She nodded, mouth hanging open as he loped from the room. She could still feel his body imprinted on hers.

  ‘I don’t believe it!’ Zoe hissed her annoyance through gritted teeth. She’d walked out of the house, Jasper and Aimee ahead of her, ready to drive them down to Longleat Safari Park and Matt’s Prius was blocking her in on the gravel drive.

  Again.

  For the fourth time in a week. Arghh. What was wrong with the guy?

  She’d been so touched when he handed her a set of car keys at dinner the day she’d gone to Hyde Park, guiding her and the children out the front of the house to reveal a smart white BMW 1 Series Sports Hatch. ‘Nothing flashy?’ she’d said, raising an eyebrow and stroking a hand along the bonnet.

  Shrugging both shoulders, ‘Not in the same league as my McLaren,’ he pointed at the sexy black supercar on the driveway.

  She laughed. ‘No, but I expected a cheap little run-around or another Prius.’

  ‘I don’t do cheap, not anymore.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  He ran a hand over Aimee’s red hair absently as she stood in front of him. The little girl rested back against her dad, a tiny smile on her lips, like an adorable kitten basking in the sun. ‘When I was younger the first car I bought myself was a second-hand Ford Escort,’ he pulled a face, ‘it was snot green. You could see me coming for miles. Mum hated it, said it brought the whole neighbourhood down. She’s terribly upper class,’ he mocked.

  Her laughter pealed out as she propped both elbows on top of the car, watching Jasper as he started running round the Prius and BMW in loop-the-loops, arms out like an aeroplane with accompanying sound effects. ‘Really? Why didn’t your parents buy you a car?’

  ‘They offered, I refused. I wanted to earn my own money and buy my own things. I’d seen too many spoilt rich boys at school and didn’t want to turn into one.’

  ‘I see. What about your brother? Did he feel the same?’ She was pretty sure she knew the answer.

  His mouth turned down. ‘I hoped I’d been a good role model, but no, he doesn’t work. He has a trust fund. He bought that yellow monstrosity with part of it.’

  ‘You don’t seem that keen about his choice of cars, or lifestyle,’ she blurted, before adding, ‘sorry.’

  Jasper scuttled past, increasing the volume of the roaring engine sound.

  Matt dropped his hand to his daughter’s shoulder, eyes narrowing as he nodded his head. ‘No, it’s okay. The truth is, I wish he wasn’t so heavily reliant on the family money and that he’d find something worth doing with his time. He always seems so restless, although he travels, socialises and shops a lot.’

  ‘Is that where he is now?’ she asked in a careful voice. ‘Travelling?’

  ‘Yes, on our yacht in the Med. The poor guy’s been through a rough time,’ he explained, ‘a girl broke his heart.’

  ‘She did?’ her voice came out high pitched and weird. What the hell was he talking about? It was Stephen who’d broken Melody’s heart, not the other way around.

  His eyes narrowed further and he focused on her flushed face. ‘Yes. It’s the first and only time I’ve ever seen it happen. Usually he’s commitment-free, but Melody seemed to change him. I thought he was settling down.’

  ‘Melody?’ She bent at the waist and caught Jasper automatically as he stumbled and almost went over on the gravel. ‘There you go.’ She righted him and sent him on his way with a pat on the back.

  Spinning around, Jasper glared at both adults. ‘I like ‘Ncle Stephen,’ he piped, ‘he’s fun.’

  ‘I like Uncle Stephen too,’ Matt replied, ‘and yes, he’s fun but we both know he can be a bit of a handful too. Like you, right?’ he teased.

  Jasper stuck his tongue out with a grin.

  As he resumed his flying game, Zoe gazed at Matt. ‘Melody, as in your last nanny?’ Her heart was pump-pump-pumping in her chest, knowing she was getting closer to the truth.

  ‘Yes,’ he looked grim.

  ‘That must have been complicated, your nanny slee—’ flickering her eyes at Aimee, ‘I mean dating your brother.’

  ‘It wasn’t ideal, I’ll admit. I thought it might get messy, but when they came and talked to me about it, I felt reassured. I was fine with it as long as it didn’t affect the kids. My parents might not have felt the same because they’re self-confessed snobs, but I just want my brother to be happy. Besides, I liked Melody until…’ He looked down at Aimee at the same time as she looked up. Seeing her features creased in a question seemed to jolt him.

  ‘Until?’ Zoe prompted. If he was telling the truth, he’d had no objection to his brother having a relationship with Melody. So what had changed?

  He stepped back and stuck his hands in his pockets. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he muttered, looking panicky. ‘It’s all over and done with now. It’s also probably not something we should be discussing in front of the kids.’

  Bugger, he’d been about to spill. She mustn’t spook
him. ‘Maybe not,’ she agreed. ‘Anyway,’ she clapped her hands, ‘thank you for my Bimmer. It looks great.’

  He relaxed, ‘I considered a Prius, but wanted to get you something with a little more energy and power. I thought this would suit you. It’s yours for as long as you’re with us.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she twisted away to open up the boot so that he wouldn’t see her wince. How long she might be there for was an increasingly troubling issue in her mind. ‘This isn’t a bad space,’ she talked to the carpet lining the boot rather than Matt. Needing a minute to steady herself.

  ‘It’s insured and ready to go. I hope you enjoy it.’ Crossing to the back of the car, he came and stopped beside her, touching her arm gently. He waited until she lifted her head. ‘Please be careful with my children, Zoe. I’m putting a lot of trust in you. To be honest, I’m very nervous about it. I asked Melody once if she wanted a car, but she didn’t have a license. You can imagine how I feel, given the accident, which as you know…’ Halting, his eyes rested on Aimee, who was observing them both with pained eyes. ‘You know what I’m saying,’ he finished gruffly.

  ‘I know.’ Zoe nodded reassuringly. ‘I’ll drive sensibly, I promise. I had to get used to driving in America and it’s pretty hectic on the roads over there, so I have plenty of experience. I always got Grace and Ava safely from A to B.’

  ‘Thank you, that’s a relief to hear. Now why don’t you take it for a spin? I’ll stay here with the kids.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ How sweet, giving her a chance to enjoy her new car.

  ‘I’d rather you get used to it without Jasper chatting away at you from the back seat.’

  ‘Oh. Thanks.’ Not so sweet then, merely practical.