Picnics in Hyde Park

by Nikki Moore

Zoe stood up, sensing something was wrong. ‘No, I didn’t get a name, but there was something about meeting at the beach where they used to go?’

  ‘Right,’ he rammed the chair into place at the table. ‘Zoe, can you go and get Melody in ten minutes or so? I’m going to go and see if your mum needs a lift home. We won’t be long. Just watch TV or something, okay?’ he ruffled her hair as he went past.

  She squirmed and moved away. ‘Dad, I’ve told you not do that. I’m not a kid anymore.’

  ‘You’ll always be my kid,’ he dropped a kiss on her head, striding for the door. ‘Love you, Zo.’

  ‘That was the last time I saw him,’ Zoe told her aunt as they sat together. ‘I waited for two hours before I started to get worried, but Melody started getting upset and I didn’t know what to do. That’s when I went back to Mrs Briar’s and she called the police and we were told that…’ She brought a hand to her mouth, biting her knuckles as she remembered the two policemen turning up on their neighbour’s doorstep, their faces solemn and drawn. Her stomach churned, eyes growing moist. ‘If I’d have known that telling him that would lead to…Oh, God.’

  ‘You couldn’t have known what would happen, Zoe. You were a child. It wasn’t your fault. I knew that, but it didn’t stop me resenting you,’ she admitted, looking ashamed, ‘especially when you look so much like your dad, and have his confidence and stubborn streak. I was so angry with him.’ Shaking her head. ‘As for Melody—’

  ‘She looks so much like Mum,’ Zoe finished, ‘it was natural that you’d want to be with her.’

  ‘But it was wrong of me to treat you differently, Zoe. You’re both Susan’s daughters. She loved you equally, so I should have too.’ She came over to sit with her niece. ‘I’m sorry. I was wrong.’

  ‘Thank you. I-I really appreciate you saying that, and explaining this all to me even though it must have been so painful.’ Heaving out a shuddering breath. ‘I’m sorry too. For trying to get Melody to leave you in that last year before I left for the States. Just because I wasn’t happy here, it doesn’t mean Mel wasn’t. I assumed she’d want to live with me. I said some unforgivable things to you.’ She gripped her aunt’s hand, trying to communicate how much she regretted her words and actions, ‘I never should have asked her to choose between us. You looked after us after our parents died and I’m grateful for that. You were never cruel or hurtful, you put a roof over our heads and fed us. You just weren’t warm and loving the way I needed you to be. I guess what it came down to was that you weren’t Mum and Dad.’ Ruth nodded, eyes looking suspiciously damp. ‘I also shouldn’t have threatened to try and get custody of her from you.’ Zoe shook her head, hardly believing her cheek. ‘It was stupid. She was sixteen for God’s sake, nearly an adult, and I wasn’t even in my mid-twenties. It was just that I was madly in love with Henry and caught up in the fairytale, with the idea of the three of us being a happy family. When Melody said she was staying with you and Henry broke up with me, I could hardly cope. I was lost. I guess that’s why when I met Greg a few weeks later, he bowled me over. I was on the rebound.’ As she said it, she knew it was the absolute truth. The sense of relief she’d felt about the break up the night before doubled.

  ‘He swept you off your feet,’ Ruth agreed, ‘the rich American promising you the world.’

  ‘I could be a nanny anywhere,’ Zoe said, ‘America was as good as any place, especially as he could pull strings for my visa. But maybe you’re right, maybe I ran away.’ She surprised both of them by clattering her cup down on the table and hugging her aunt. Ruth stiffened but didn’t pull away, her slight frame trembling in Zoe’s arms. ‘Five years.’ Zoe murmured, sitting back. ‘It’s a long time. But I’m home now. We could try and get to know each other properly if you want to? I know it’ll take some time.’

  ‘Yes, that would be nice,’ Ruth wiped something from her eye, blinking hard. ‘I’ve never been an affectionate type of person, Zoe. Probably because Mother was so cold. But you girls are the only family I have, so I’ll try to unbend a little.’ Standing up, she tried for a smile, the expression looking odd on her face. ‘Shall we go for a walk down by the beach? There will be a lot of tourists out because the weather’s so pleasant, but it would be nice to get some fresh air. We could have an ice-cream, if you like.’

  Zoe pushed off the sofa, feeling clean and light, as if a weight she hadn’t known she’d been carrying had been lifted. ‘Like when we used to go down on Sunday afternoons, and skip stones?’ She paused, remembering the day she’d managed five skips in a row. Ruth had let her have a double scoop and dripping chocolate sauce on her Mr Whippy from the ice-cream van as a reward. Of course Melody had wanted the same as her older sister, so Ruth had bought her one, but Zoe hadn’t minded. Maybe her teenage years with her aunt hadn’t been all bad.

  ‘Yes.’ Ruth stood up. ‘So, young lady. I know you’re living in London and trying to figure out what happened to your sister with those Reilly boys, but apart from that, what’s your plan? What’s next for you?’

  Zoe gulped, her mind drifting to Melody, Matt and the kids. ‘I don’t know, Aunt Ruth. I really don’t.’

  Zoe smiled as she heard the children clatter into the hallway, the front door slamming behind them.

  ‘Hang on,’ she heard Matt yell as they thundered upstairs, ‘Zoe might be busy doing something.’

  ‘Zoe’s not doing anything,’ she called, making her way carefully downstairs to the first floor in her red stilettos. ‘How was your day?’ Holding her arms open so that kids could give her a hug.

  Aimee and Jasper raced forward and cuddled into her, babbling about Harry Potter and Hagrid, Diagon Alley and Butter Beer, which daddy had hated and Jasper had loved, and Aimee had said tasted like sick.

  ‘You look pretty, Zoe.’ Aimee said, leaning back and looking up into Zoe’s face.

  ‘Thank you.’ Zoe nodded. ‘So do you,’ tweaking her nose, she pointed at Aimee’s fashionable nautical jumpsuit.

  ‘You look like Snow White,’ Jasper bounced up and down on the spot.

  ‘I do?’ Zoe cast a look down at her short black and red kimono style dress. She’d bought it that afternoon on Oxford Street after returning from Ruth’s, feeling like a changed person and wanting the wardrobe to go with it. It was funny how one meaningful, cathartic conversation could make you see things in an entirely different light. ‘Well, apparently Japanese styles are trending this summer. But I thought Snow White wore a nice flowing princess dress.’ Thinking of the famous Disney animated film.

  ‘Not in the version with Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman,’ Matt said, stepping into the hallway. ‘But I think Jasper is referring to the black hair, fair skin and blue eyes.’ Dipping his head, ‘And, wow by the way.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She blushed at the appreciative look on his face, glad she’d decided to keep her make-up simple because the dress was so bold, choosing to line her eyes with black kohl and slick on some red lipstick. ‘I’m going to have to get going actually. Come on kids, let’s go downstairs and you can see me off.’

  ‘But we’ve only just said hello,’ Jasper protested.

  ‘I’m only going out for the night, and you can see me tomorrow as long as you don’t wake me too early. Maybe your dad will let you have a movie night. That way he can relax for a bit before you go to bed. I’m sure you tired him out today.’

  Matt looked at her gratefully before switching his attention to the children. ‘That’s a fantastic idea. You can pick something you both like, and I might call for pizza and even let you have some popcorn. Why don’t you go and have a look at the DVD’s, so Zoe can get going?’

  ‘Okay,’ Aimee nodded at her brother, and they both released their nanny and ran for the stairs. ‘Come on.’

  As they disappeared, Matt turned to Zoe and offered her an arm. ‘Those heels are pretty high and the carpet’s pretty deep. Do you need a hand down the stairs?’

  ‘I should be all right, thanks.’ It was thoughtful of him, and she loved a
guy who knew how to be a gentleman, but keeping some space between them was necessary at the moment. Otherwise she might be tempted to jump him. He was looking particularly gorgeous in a pair of jeans and a black open necked shirt. His green eyes looked amazing, practically glowing against the darkness of the top. ‘Oh.’ She looked down at her shoes nestling in the fluffy beige carpet. ‘Unless you want me to take them off? Sorry, I should have thought. If it helps, they’re new, so they’re clean.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. I don’t care about that.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure I can manage one flight of stairs.’ She strode towards him, but as she reached the top step her ankle turned. Stumbling forward, she let out a squeak of alarm, but his arm was already under hers, holding her upright.

  ‘Whoa! I’ve got you.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Her heart was racing at the prospect of a headlong tumble down the stairs. ‘Seems like I overestimated myself,’ she said with a twist of her lips. Bloody hell, it was typical. Just because she’d insisted she was fine, this had to happen.

  ‘Or underestimated the shoes,’ Matt replied, fighting back a smile.

  ‘Oh, shut up,’ she grumbled good naturedly. ‘You were right, okay?’

  ‘I always am,’ he quipped.

  They walked down slowly, their shoulders rubbing and their thighs occasionally brushing.

  She gulped, heat rising up her chest and into her cheeks. Why did she have to be so ultra-aware of him? It was like every cell in her body was straining towards every cell in his, wanting to mesh and create sparks.

  ‘That really is a stunning dress,’ he said as they arrived in the hallway. Pointing at the slit, where her bare thigh was peeking out. ‘Particularly that bit.’

  His eyes rose to stare into hers, and she couldn’t look away. He was still holding her arm, his fingers sending tingles down into her hands, which curled into fists. She could feel the scorching heat of his body only a few inches from hers, and forced herself to breathe normally. Panting would be so lame.

  ‘I’m a bit worried about you going out like that actually,’ Matt confided.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, it would be easy for some handsome, rich guy to swoop you up, looking like that.’

  ‘And? What’s the problem with that?’ she raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Well, before you know it he’d be wining and dining you, taking you out for fancy meals and inviting you to his private yacht for a holiday in the Maldives, and then you’d be swanning off to be put up in his penthouse flat by the Thames.’ He looked mournful, but she could see a teasing glint in his eye. ‘The kids would be devastated.’

  ‘They would?’ She daren’t ask him how he’d feel, that was far too dangerous. ‘You got all that from one dress?’

  ‘I did.’ He shook his head, the scent of his sexy aftershave weaving into the tiny space between them. ‘It’s easy for the imagination to run wild when we’re talking about a dress like that.’

  ‘The dress apologises for any offence it causes,’ she laughed, ‘but it’s staying on and I’m going out. Don’t worry, I’ll be good. I’m not after hooking up with any millionaires any time soon.’ At least, none that live outside this house, a sneaky shocking voice whispered in her head.

  ‘Fair enough. It’s just that I heard Henry Cavill hangs around these parts.’ His fingers traced down her arm and she shivered in reaction. ‘Please promise you’ll look after yourself though?’

  ‘I’ll be with friends, don’t worry.’ Whether Melody was going to be there was still an unknown. Earlier on she’d texted the name of the restaurant they’d be at with the ETA, and all she’d got back in response was an ‘okay, thanks.’ She had to sort things out with her sister. With that promise in mind, she managed to step back from Matt. ‘I should go.’

  ‘Do you want me to give you a lift, or come and pick you up?’

  ‘That’s kind, but not part of the terms and conditions of my contract,’ she answered, deliberately reminding him she was his employee. She had to use anything she could to create a barrier between them while she got her head together. ‘Besides, you need to feed the children soon and you’d have to get them out of bed later to come and get me, and that’s not fair to them. I’m also planning to have a few glasses of wine tonight and I’m not sure I’d want you to see me in that state, or vice versa,’ she joked.

  ‘All right, but at least use the black cab company I have on retainer.’

  ‘You don’t have limos or a corporate car hire firm taking you places when you don’t want to drive?’

  ‘I don’t like to attract attention, and I’ll definitely do that if I go everywhere in flash cars. I like the anonymity of black cabs.’

  ‘What about the McLaren P1?’ she said, ‘A high performance supercar is hardly subtle is it?’

  ‘That’s different. I love that car. Besides, good sense can’t win out all the time, can it? Anyway, I have an account with the cab firm. Put the fare under my name. Call it a perk, but I just want to make sure you get back safely, no matter what time it is. They’ll look after you. Here,’ he dug his wallet out of his pocket and handed her a business card.

  She stroked the glossy, embossed card, ‘Thanks. I’m getting the bus there but I’ll take advantage on the way back.’

  ‘No problem.’ He smirked, ‘I don’t expect to have to hold your hair back for you when you get in though. If you come home drunk and feeling ill, you’re on your own.’

  ‘Have you done that for many women?’ she wrinkled her nose.

  ‘Only Helen, she had the worst morning sickness when she was pregnant with both the children. She used to spend at least two hours every morning slumped on the bathroom floor. I used to get her ginger biscuits and provide damp flannels. Sometimes I’d sit in there with her and read Vogue to take her mind off things.’

  ‘That’s sweet.’ When she’d been unwell with Greg he’d swerved away sharply, like a London bike rider around an open car door. He wouldn’t see her again until she was better. I just wanna give you space to get better baby, he’d say, looking concerned. But maybe the concern had all been for himself. It was the only real reason she could think of why she’d had to rely on the other nannies to bring her soup and other provisions when ill.

  ‘I don’t know about sweet,’ Matt said. ‘It was just right. I was half to blame for her being in that state.’ He frowned. ‘I hadn’t thought about that for a while.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories for you.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I brought it up. And they weren’t all painful.’ He added in an odd voice, like it had only just occurred to him.

  ‘Daddy, we’ve chosen a film now!’ Jasper’s voice echoed along the hallway. ‘We’re hungry too.’

  Matt jumped. ‘I shouldn’t keep you, Zoe. You’ll be late. Have fun tonight. You deserve it, you’ve worked hard.’

  ‘Thanks, I plan to.’ Grabbing her clutch purse off the side from where she’d left it earlier, she flung open the door.

  ‘Aren’t you taking a jacket or anything?’ Matt asked, following her out.

  ‘No, Dad,’ she rolled her eyes. ‘It’s August, Matt. It’s warm. I’ll be fine.’

  ‘If you say so,’ he raked one last look over her outfit, ‘just make sure the dress behaves itself.’

  ‘I will,’ she giggled, shaking her head. Swinging around, she picked her way carefully down the concrete steps and over the gravel driveway. Turning back to wave at him, a thought occurred to her. ‘Oh, by the way, Jasper birthday’s coming up in less than two weeks, isn’t it? What have you got planned?’

  A look of horror crossed Matt’s face, dark eyebrows drawing together. ‘Oh, shit. Nothing. Melody usually plans his parties. Jesus,’ he threw a quick glance over his shoulder to check the hallway. Scrubbing his hands through his hair, he muttered. ‘Oh, this is bad. Really bad. I am a bad parent.’

  He appeared so guilty she didn’t have the heart to agree. ‘You’re not a bad par
ent, it’s just slipped your mind because you’ve been so busy. Don’t worry. We’ll sort something out.’

  ‘We?’

  ‘If you want me to help I will, but you have to be involved this time.’

  He nodded. ‘Sounds fair.’

  ‘We can sit down and discuss it tomorrow, but not until the afternoon. I’ll be sleeping in.’

  ‘Deal. Have a nice night. Remember what I said about those millionaires. We’ve only just found you. My kids aren’t ready to lose you.’

  Nodding, she made for the pavement, striding as quickly as she could away from the house and its owner. Tears stood out in her eyes. She wasn’t ready to lose them either. Any of them. When, she wondered, had it started becoming more about that than about getting justice and the truth for Melody. Was she once again failing her sister?

  12

  Clattering off the red double-decker bus in her matching stilettos, Zoe made her way through the cobblestoned alleyway into Soho, heading for the trendy bar-restaurant Rayne had chosen. Tonight she was just a twenty-something girl on the town, she’d decided on the way. She needed to have some fun. Life had been far too serious and stressful recently. The air was balmy, the summer night was young, London was pulsing and she was about to spend time with some of her most favourite people in the world.

  As she approached the entrance to the bar, an orange neon sign hanging above the doorway, a group of middle-aged men in suits spilled out into the street. A few raucous laughs echoed between them, and a few ‘good evenings’ were tossed her way, along with a ‘Wahey, nice dress love’. The comment made her think of Matt. Stop it. ‘Thanks, lads,’ she grinned.

  Most of the group moved past her, but one guy with blonde hair and a shading of stubble stopped and held the door open, leering admiringly as her thigh slipped out of the dress as she stepped forward. Rolling her eyes at how blatant he was, she thanked him and slipped past into the bar, a low hum of conversation and pumping background music filling the space. The man took her eye-roll with good humour, acknowledging it with a nod. She shook her head. Didn’t men realise how obvious they were, and that largely speaking, it wasn’t a turn on? She smiled wryly. Typical English blokes.