Quartered Safe Out Here

by George MacDonald Fraser

  The review goes on to say that “what, in time of war, was seen as necessary to uphold the morale of soldier and civilian alike has persisted for almost fifty years as a method of determining what should be accepted as reality”. So far as that has a meaning, it appears to be that misrepresentation of war was necessary at the time, and has continued until now, when presumably some omniscient revisionist has seen through the sham. Well, such a conclusion is false, and insulting. It fails to see that morale, far from being inspired by policy, comes from within, and is nourished by friends, family, and example. Government and media may reflect that—as Churchill did—but they cannot create it. Perhaps no one can understand that who was not alive and aware in Britain during the war, or experienced the Blitz, or was torpedoed, or confronted death and mortal peril at point-blank.

  There is, for some reason which I don't understand, a bitter desire in some to undermine what they call the “myths” of the Second World War. Most of the myths are true, but they don't want to believe that. It may be a natural reaction to having the war rammed down their throats by my generation; it may have its roots in subconscious envy; it may even spring from a reluctance to recognise that today's safety and comfort were bought fifty years ago by means which today's intelligentsia find unacceptable, and from which they wish to distance themselves. I cannot say—but I do know that the review I have quoted is typical in presenting a view which is false. It is also dangerous because it may be taken as true by the uninformed or thoughtless, since it fits fashionable prejudice. And that is how history is distorted. You cannot, you must not, judge the past by the present; you must try to see it in its own terms and values, if you are to have any inkling of it. You may not like what you see, but do not on that account fall into the error of trying to adjust it to suit your own vision of what it ought to have been.

  Thirdly, it is now widely held (or at least it has been widely stated) that the dropping of atomic bombs was unnecessary because the Japanese were ready to give in. I shall have something to say of that bombing later—and not entirely, perhaps, what you might think—but for the moment I shall say only that I wish those who hold that view had been present to explain the position to the little bastard who came howling out of a thicket near the Sittang, full of spite and fury, in that first week of August. He was half-starved and near naked, and his only weapon was a bamboo stake, but he was in no mood to surrender.

  Finally, if any young soldiers of today should chance to read this book, they may understand that while the face of war may alter, some things have not changed since Joshua stood before Jericho and Xenophon marched to the sea. May they come safe to bedtime, and all well.

  Chapter 1

  The first time I smelt Jap was in a deep dry-river bed in the Dry Belt, somewhere near Meiktila. I can no more describe the smell than I could describe a colour, but it was heavy and pungent and compounded of stale cooked rice and sweat and human waste and…Jap. Quite unlike the clean acrid wood-smoke of an Indian village or the rather exotic and faintly decayed odour of the bashas* in which the Burmese lived—and certainly nothing like the cooking smells of the Baluch hillmen and Gurkhas of our brigade, or our own British aromas. It was outside my experience of Oriental stenches—so how did I know it was Jap? Because we were deep inside enemy-held territory, and who else would have dug the three bunkers facing me in the high bank, as I stood, feeling extremely lonely, with a gallon tin of fruit balanced precariously on one shoulder and my rifle at the trail in my other hand?

  I had never seen a live Japanese at this time. Dead ones beyond counting, corpses sprawled by the road-side, among the huts and bashas of abandoned villages, in slit-trenches and fox-holes, all the way, it seemed, from Imphal south to the Irrawaddy. They were what was left of the great army that had been set to invade India the previous year, the climax of that apparently irresistible tide that had swept across China, Malaya, and the Pacific Islands; it broke on the twin rocks of Imphal and Kohima, where Fourteenth Army had stopped it and driven it back from the gates of India. (I imagine that every teenager today has heard of Stalingrad and Alamein and D-Day, but I wonder how many know the name of Imphal, that “Flower on Lofty Heights” where Japan suffered the greatest catastrophe in its military history? There's no reason why they should; it was a long way away.) While I was still a recruit, training in Britain, this battalion had fought in that terrible battle of the boxes,* and their talk was still of Kennedy Peak and Tiddim and the Silchar track, and “duffys”—the curious name for what the Americans now call fire-fights—in the jungle and on the khuds† of Assam. There they had fought Jap literally to a standstill, and now we were on the road south, with Burma to be retaken. We had said goodbye to the mules which had been the only possible vehicles in that fearful country; trucks had brought us to the Irrawady and beyond, courtesy of East African drivers whose one notion of convoy discipline had been to get to the front and stay there, screaming with laughter as they skidded round hairpins on mountain roads with cliff on one side and a sheer drop of hundreds of feet on the other. The driver would hunch over his wheel, giggling, while his mate hung out on the other side shrieking his slogan “Whoa! Bus!* Go! Stop! Fakoff!” at defeated opponents. They were, incidentally, the finest drivers I have ever seen, enormous jungle-wallahs in greatcoats and vast ammunition boots, with tribal cuts on their beaming black faces; they wouldn't last thirty seconds in a driving test, not even in Bangkok, but at motoring with two wheels in thin air they were impressive.

  They put us where Slim wanted us to be, south of the river, in that strange land known as the Dry Belt. People think of Burma as one great jungle, but in its centre there are large tracts which are almost desert; stony, sun-baked plain dotted with jungly patches and paddy-fields and criss-crossed by nullahs† and river beds which, outside the summer monsoon, are bone dry. This was where Slim wanted to catch Jap in the open, by pretending to make his main drive at Mandalay, to the east, while we, the 17th Division, crossed the river farther west, making for Meiktila, eighty miles below Mandalay, in Jap country. This had been explained to us by our divisional commander, a kindly, hook-nosed Glasgow graduate called Cowan and nicknamed “Punch”; we would take Meiktila with a fast thrust, hold it against the surrounding Japanese forces, and wait for 5th Division (tastefully known, from their red disc insignia, as the Flaming Arseholes) to fight through to our relief.

  “We are the anvil,” Punch had said gently, “and they are the hammer.”

  “An' they won't be the only fookin' ’ammer,” little Nixon had observed. “Bloody great Jap Imperial Guardsmen—aye, White Tigers, runnin' all ower the shop, shoutin' ‘Banzai!’ Aye, weel, we'll all get killed.”

  So much for the broad picture. At one point it narrowed down to our platoon, making a sweep across a huge, dusty plain, looking for Japanese positions; it was not expected that we would find any. We were in extended line, twenty yards apart, and I was on the extreme left flank; a deep nullah was opening up to my left, forcing me to close on the next man, who was little Nixon.

  “Keep yer bloody distance, Jock!” bawled Sergeant Hutton, from his station right and rear, so I obediently scrambled down the side of the nullah, dropping the tin of fruit en route and missing my footing, so that I rolled the last fifteen feet and ended up winded in the nullah bottom.

  It seemed to run fairly straight, and as long as it did I would be moving parallel with the rest of the platoon, now hidden from sight by the steep nullah side. So I shouldered the fruit tin again and set off along the nullah, with that awkward burden digging into my shoulder. It had been part of the big pack of compo rations which was the section's food for the day and which had been divided among us at daybreak, to be eaten that night when we dug in. I had suggested opening it when we tiffined on the march, but Grandarse and Forster had said no, it would make a grand pudding at supper. So I'd cursed those Epicureans through the long hot afternoon, wondering if P. C. Wren had ever carried a gallon of fruit in the Foreign Legion, and muttering “Boots, boots
, boots, boots”, to myself—not that it had been much of a march; ten or twelve miles, maybe, not enough to be foot-sore. But the tin was getting heavier by the minute as I trudged up the nullah, and I was going to have a hell of a job climbing the bank with it, as I would have to do in a minute, for the nullah was starting to tend left, carrying me away from the section's line of march.

  I stopped for a swig of chlorinated water from the canvas chaggle slung on my right shoulder, and took stock. There wasn't a breath of air in the nullah—and not a sound, either. I scanned the twenty-foot red banks, looking for a place to scramble up. There wasn't one; I would have to carry on, hoping to find one soon—either that or retrace my steps to the spot where I'd climbed down, which would leave me a long way behind the section, with night not far off. I couldn't see the sun, but it had been dipping to the horizon when last seen, and I'd no wish to be traipsing about in the dark, getting shot by one side or the other. I heaved the tin to a less painful position, and started to walk quickly up the nullah—and it was just then that I saw the bunkers.

  Usually a bunker is a large hole in the ground, roofed with timber or bamboo and covered with sandbags or hard-packed earth, with firing slits at ground level. These were different: three dark doorways about ten yards apart, cut in the side of the nullah, with manmade caves within. Jap bunkers, without a doubt…empty? Or not?

  They were on the right side of the nullah, and on the plain above and beyond, the rest of the section would be moving forward—they might be a quarter of a mile away by now, or still level with where I stood; I couldn't tell. Ideally, I should have climbed out and alerted them, but the banks were sheer. If I shouted, and brought them down into the nullah, and the bunkers were old and long abandoned, a lot of thanks I'd get—and if there were Japs in the bunkers, and I shouted…quite. Or I could pass quickly by on the other side, leaving them unexamined, and find some spot ahead to climb up and rejoin the lads…No, you can't do that—but you're a very keen young soldier if you don't think about it.

  I've never felt lonelier. Suddenly it was cold in the nullah, and the sun had sunk so low that there wasn't a shadow. Five minutes earlier I had been sweating hot; now I was trickling ice. I stood hesitant, looking at those three long black slits in the bank, wondering what to do…

  It was then I smelt Jap, rank and nasty. The question was, did it come from Jap in situ, or had he just left his stink behind him? Was he lurking within, wondering who was outside throwing tins of fruit about, or was he long gone to the south'ard? If he was present, was he as scared as I was? No, he couldn't be.

  The lunatic thought crossed my mind that the best way of finding out was to heave one of my two grenades into the nearest doorway and hit the deck, finger on trigger, waiting to see what emerged. And bloody clever I'd look when the section came running to the scene and found me bombing empty bunkers—I was a very young soldier then, you understand, and sensitive; I had no wish to be looked at askance by veterans of Oyster Box and K.P.* (Three months later I'd have heaved in both grenades and the tin of fruit, and anything else handy; better to be laughed at than dead—and I wouldn't have been laughed at.)

  Anyway, hesitation was pointless. I couldn't leave the bunkers uninvestigated; I couldn't tell young Gale, our platoon commander, that I'd been too terrified; I couldn't leave them unreported. It was that simple; anyway, they looked empty.

  I lowered the fruit tin carefully to the ground, pushed the safety catch forward on my rifle, made sure my kukri was loose in its sheath, touched the hilt of the dirk in my small pack for luck, and moved delicately towards the nearest entrance, hugging the nullah side. I waited, listening; not a sound, just that hellish smell. I edged closer, and saw where most of it was coming from.

  Just inside the doorway, where an unwary foot would tread on it, was a punji, which is a sharpened stake set in the ground point upwards, that point usually being smeared with something nice and rotten, guaranteed to purify the victim's bloodstream. Some punjis are elaborate cantilevered affairs set to swing out of a darkened bunker and impale you; I had even heard of a crossbow variety, triggered by touching a taut cord. This was a conventional one, decorated with excrement by the look of it. But how old was it? (The things one does for a living: trying to determine the age of Jap crap, for eighteen rupees a week.)

  Old or new, it didn't suggest anyone in residence. I took a huge breath and slipped inside, dropping to one knee—and there wasn't a thing to be seen but dim earth walls and a couple of Jap mess-tins, still half full of rice. I crouched there, wet with fear and relief, keeping my trembling finger well away from the trigger. I'd willingly have stayed there permanently, recovering, but it would be dark soon, so, carefully avoiding the punji (modern war is a pretty Stone Age business, when you think about it), I stepped outside again.

  The second bunker looked much more promising. The earth on one side of the doorway had fallen in, and the dead fire in its entrance was days old. There seemed to be rubbish piled within, and the whole thing had an ancient, neglected look, so I passed it by and cautiously approached Number 3. Its doorway was so wide that I could see in to the back of the little cavern. I tossed a stone in, listening, and then nipped inside—empty, bare walls, and nothing but a crumpled Kooa* packet in one corner.

  I came out of that bunker feeling pretty heroic, and was retrieving my fruit tin when it occurred to me that I ought to go into the second one, too, just to make a job of it. And I was moving towards it when I heard a faint, distant whistle from over the top of the bank—little Nixon, for certain, wondering where his wandering boy had got to. I ran up the nullah, and found a crack in its side only about twenty yards farther on. I scrambled up, heaving the tin ahead of me, clawing my way over the lip to find Nick standing about ten yards off, and Sergeant Hutton hastening towards me with blood in his eye.

  “Where the hell ’ave you been?” he blared. “Wanderin' aboot like a bloody lost soul, what d'ye think yer on?”

  “There were bunkers,” I began, but before I could get out another word Nick had shouted “Doon, Jock!” and whipped up his rifle.

  How I managed it I have no idea, but I know my feet left the ground and I hit the deck facing back the way I had come. Whatever Nick had seen was in that direction, and I wanted to get a good look at it—I suppose it was instinct and training combined, for I was scrabbling my rifle forward as I fell and turned together. And I can see him now, and he doesn't improve with age.

  Five yards away, not far from where the bunkers must have been, a Jap was looking towards us. Half his naked torso was visible over the lip of the bank—how the hell he had climbed up there, God knows—and he was in the act of raising a large dark object, about a foot across, holding it above his head. I had a glimpse of a contorted yellow face before Nick's rifle cracked behind me, three quick shots, and I'd got off one of my own when there was a deafening explosion and I was blinded by an enormous flash as the edge of the nullah dissolved in a cloud of dust and smoke. I rolled away, deafened, and then debris came raining down—earth and stones and bits of Jap—and when I could see again there was a great yawning bite out of the lip of the nullah, and the smoke and dust was clearing above it.

  “Git doon!” snapped Hutton, as I started to rise. Suddenly, as if by magic, the section were there behind me, on the deck or kneeling, every rifle covering the lip, and Hutton walked forward and looked into the nullah.

  “Fook me,” he said. “Land mine. Fook me. Y'awreet, Jock?”

  I said I was.

  “Wheer th'ell did'e coom frae? The booger!”

  I told him, no doubt incoherently, about the bunkers: that I'd checked two and been on the way to the third when Nick had whistled. “It looked empty,” I said.

  “Well, it bloody well wasn't, was it?” he shouted, and I realised he was not only angry, but shaken. “Duke, giddoon theer an' ’ev a dekko! Rest o' you, git back in extended line—move!”

  Nick was recharging his magazine. I realised that I was trembling. “Land mine?” I
said. “Did you hit it?”

  “Nivver,” said he. “Ah hit him, though. Naw, he would have it wired. Suicide squad, waitin' to blaw oop anyone that cam' near ’im.” He grinned at me. “Might ha' bin thee, Jock boy. Ye shoulda give us a shout, man.”

  I explained why I hadn't, and he shook his head. “Nivver ga in on yer own, son. That's ’ow ye finish up dyin' Tojo's way. Ye wanna die yer own fookin' way.”

  “Git fell in, you two!” It was Hutton again. “Standin' aboot natterin' wid yer thumbs in yer bums an' yer minds in neutral! Awreet, Duke? Advance! Coom on, it'll be bloody dark in a minute!”

  That evening, when we had dug in and were sitting round the fire eating our Maconochie's,* Hutton, who had been talking apart with the Duke, called me over. He was jotting in his notebook.

  “Three boonkers, reet?” he said. “What was in the two ye looked in?”

  “Nothing, sarn't. Well, there was a punji in one, and a couple of Jap mess tins. Nothing at all in t'other.”

  “Nowt at a'?”

  “No…well, nothing but a Kooa packet over in a corner. Empty.”

  He didn't glance up from his notes, but his glance flicked sideways for a second, and out of the tail of my eye I caught the Duke's almost imperceptible nod. Hutton finished writing, and when he looked up I'll swear there was relief in the battered face. It took me a moment to understand why.