by D. L. Wu
He found that his companion wasn't making his stress any more tolerable as she was making things even more difficult at every turn. It wasn't even her fault, really. It was most certainly all of his, but the guilt she caused him was torturous.
In some ways, she was totally winning 'the game’, he realized. The ball was in her court. Yet he couldn't abandon her. Nor could he force her to get on an airplane and get out of his life. It all came down to what she wanted. She was in charge of him completely and she didn’t even know it. That fact, unfortunately, was one that he would never admit to her.
CHAPTER 17
When Evan returned to the room after going through three cigarettes, he found a very red-eyed Jaime sitting at the head of the farthest bed. He slipped his leather jacket off, set it on the back of a chair, and sat down upon the edge of the closest bed. He faced her, regarding her closely in hopes of offering her a bit of comfort as she held the photograph within her hands.
“Missing him?” he asked tenderly.
She rubbed her wet cheeks with the edge of her shirt sleeve, surprising him when she shook her head.
“Then why are you so sad?”
Jaime wasn't sure she wanted to admit the real reason behind her melancholy. He would make her feel even worse if she did. Of that, she was quite certain. He would make an allusion to the fact that she was a starry-eyed little girl with a crush on him in order to get whatever point he wanted to make across. She knew that he had no intention of feeling the same way toward her. Deep inside, she knew she needed to get over it and move on. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction once again.
“I don't know,” she said testily and sniffed back her tears. “I just feel sad, that's all.”
“Is it that time of month for you, maybe?” he prodded. “Should we have bought some Midol or something at the last market? I can run out and get you some now if you need it.”
“No, it's not!” she squealed, taking offense.
Evan sighed with a slight exasperation. “I really don't know what to do anymore, Jaime,” he admitted sadly. “I don't know how to make you happy, short of rescuing you from an assault. And seeing as how that's not likely to happen every day, you need to tell me exactly what you want.” He stared at her with wide, beseeching eyes, but there was a hint of a smile behind them.
She gazed back at him shyly, a quizzical expression spreading across her face.
He grinned. “I'm inherently pretty stupid. Or maybe it's a male thing. I can't read your mind, my love. You have to spell it out for me quite clearly or I'll never get it.”
Although he was stretching the truth quite a bit, he knew it would be what she wanted to hear. Jaime couldn't help herself. She smiled.
“There we go,” he said with praise, laughing softly. “I think I get it now. You wanted me to admit how stupid I am.”
A bashful giggle burst from her lips. “No, that's not it.”
“Well, I am a bit mental, but I think that has something to do with all these bashes to the head I've had.” He pointed to his still bruised nose and the blood-tinged scar upon his forehead. “So, will you spell it out for me, Sweetheart?”
Jaime shrugged timidly. “I just . . .”
He nodded with encouragement, resting his hands upon his thighs.
“I don't want us to be enemies,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. She was unsure if she really wanted him to know how she was feeling. “I don't want us to be so hurtful to each other, either.”
“I know, Luv. I didn't really like it either, the not talking to you.”
“I understand that you have to go and do what you did, sometimes. I also realize that I'm not the easiest person to live with. You probably needed a break from me,” Jaime admitted. “You have every right to go out and have women and drink if you need to. You're not really my babysitter.”
“What do you mean you're not the easiest person to live with?”
She shrugged. “Exactly that. Even my dad used to say that I'm a spoiled brat.”
“Wow,” he said with amazement. “I certainly never got that impression from you.”
“You're just saying that. Even I know it's obvious that I'm spoiled.”
“What exactly,” he began slowly, teasingly, “have you done that's made everyone believe you’re spoiled? I personally can't think of a single thing.”
“I just . . . well, I never seem to be happy. Even when he was still alive, I was always kind of, you know, just always searching for more.”
“Can you tell me about him?” Evan offered kindly.
She laughed lightly. “I shouldn't, seeing as how you never seem to want to tell me anything about yourself.”
Evan's brow furrowed slightly as his eyes widened. “Are you serious? Just this morning I told you about my secret birthmark, didn't I? Hardly anyone knows about that except my mum.”
“Hardly anyone? Your hundred lovers do, don't forget.” A pleased giggle escaped her.
He laughed, too. She was always proud of the fact that she could elicit a laugh from him. “If you're meaning why I'm on the run,” he sighed, brushing his hand through his shiny brown hair. “I feel like I'll tell you soon, but when the time is right. Rest assured, I will tell you.”
She nodded and accepted his answer. “My dad was a little wild,” she mused.
She dove into her memories of her father as she decided that she could confide in him. Why she felt that way, she wasn't sure. It was more that she wanted to confide in him. Whether she really should have or not was a totally different matter.
“I loved him like crazy,” she sighed. “But he certainly wasn't the ideal father.”
“Why's that, Luv?”
“He was gone for most of my life.”
“Gone?” Evan asked.
“He had two jobs,” she explained. “He loved me so much and wanted what he thought was the best for me. So he worked extra hard to make sure we had enough money to achieve that goal. What he didn't know, was that I would've rather been a pauper if it had kept him home with me all the time. I sometimes feel like I hardly knew him.”
Evan nodded with pity for her, but said nothing. He realized, then, that listening was all she needed from him, for the moment.
“I was all by myself most of the time.”
“So you know what loneliness feels like,” he observed.
She nodded. “Yes. I suppose I shouldn't feel scared when you leave me alone. I should be pretty used to it by now. But the thing is, even then, I never got used to it.”
She stared at him as he lowered his head. “I sense you've never been particularly lonely,” she proffered.
He looked up again with a melancholy smile upon his lips. “Not really. I had two parents and five siblings throughout most of my years growing up in London. They were constantly around, driving me mad.”
She laughed softly.
“Totally opposite situation, ours is,” he said.
“Can you tell me more about your life?” she asked.
“You really want to know?”
“I really would.”
“I grew up in St. John's Wood in the North-Western part of London. Very close to a lovely park named Regent's Park. The zoo is there. I loved the park and the zoo when I was a kid,” he remembered fondly.
Jaime found herself smiling, too, throughout his recollections.
“I was the youngest of six kids, all girls except me,” he laughed. “At first, my parents were relieved that they finally had a little boy. That is, until I became the devil's child.”
“You were naughty?”
“Yeah, but I think being the youngest made me a little wilder, because they let me get away with a hell of a lot.”
Happiness consumed her. She felt so much better now that he was finally opening up to her. “What sort of things did you do?”
He shrugged with embarrassment. “The sorts of things all rotten little boys do, breaking windows, stealing . . . lots of horrid stuff.”
Her eyes wi
dened with surprise.
He nodded. “Got thrown in juvenile a couple times as a teenager. But I turned myself around and got into University. Then four years ago, I went to California and I've been there ever since.”
“And now you're in trouble again,” she reminded him, but then wished she hadn't said it.
“Yeah, well,” he sighed, brushing his hair back from his forehead again. “Story of my life, I guess.”
She stared at him. “I’m sorry,” she said, quickly and repentantly as she took a deep breath. “If I can help you in any way . . .”
Evan was surprised. He was certain that it was a slip of the tongue, but he intended to take full advantage of it. “You can help me.”
She gave him an inquisitive look. He hesitated for only a minute or so as he really didn't want to manipulate her. Granted, he had made that an objective early on in her abduction, to make her a willing participant in this venture by any means necessary. “Tell them you came with me willingly, that I didn't take you by force,” he whispered quite alluringly.
She sighed deeply, taking her time before responding, “I know that's the only reason you want to be nice to me, so that I'll say that. It's probably the only reason you rescued me the other day.”
Evan shook his head quite adamantly. “Oh, no,” he whispered. “I rescued you for much more than that reason. You know that already, Luv. Don't try to turn that against me. I couldn't bear seeing you hurt, you know that.”
She shrugged and tears burned her eyes. I so want you to really love me! I love you! I want you to feel the same for me! she thought.
“Jaime, don't do this. Don't make yourself miserable because of me. Things will be better for you very soon. You'll see.”
“How will they? I have nothing to go home to. I have nothing at all!”
He sighed. “Is that why you don't want to give this up . . . this adventure? Because you think there's something here for you?”
“I already know there's nothing here for me,” she moaned softly. “There's nothing anywhere for me and there never will be.”
He didn't know what to say anymore. He wasn't used to the kind of demeanor she possessed. Every girl he had ever known seemed upbeat, happy, confident, and in love with life. She, on the other hand, was throwing a major curve at him. Yet it was his own fault, he knew. He had dragged her into this whole mess and was now responsible for getting her out of it undamaged and hopefully changed for the better.
“Sorry,” she apologized. “I promised myself I wouldn't do this anymore. To give you reasons to want to abandon me at the side of the road. I'll try not to be a whiny baby anymore. I'll try to be good. I'm so sorry.”
“Stop it,” he berated, the gruff sound of his voice taking her by surprise. “You know full well I'm not gonna abandon you. This will all be over soon, trust me.”
“Why do you think that? Do you think you're going to be arrested soon?” she asked, a tad fretful. “Why do you say that?”
“I just know it,” he replied, unwilling to say more. “Why don't you go to sleep now?”
She pouted as she glanced at the clock. “It's only eight!”
“I want to get an early start tomorrow,” he said pointedly.
She watched as his tee shirt slipped over his head once again. She trembled at the sight of his firm, bare chest. He noted her dreamy gaze and couldn't help but to smile a little as he brushed his hair back down with his fingers. He was more than convinced that she wanted him, but there was no way that she was prepared for what he could give her. And that, in itself, would frighten her right out the front door.
To tease her further, he stood up and dragged his blue jeans down in front of her. Though she had seen him in his underwear before, he suspected she might have had a peek when he showered or urinated in the past. He thought she might appreciate it if he pointed out the birthmark he’d spoken of earlier.
“Did you see my cherry spot before?” he blatantly inquired.
“No, of course I didn't!” she cried out with surprise. “I didn't look at you at all when you took a shower!”
“Well, come have a look, then.”
She shook her head, mortified.
“Nothing to be afraid of, my love. Honest.”
Standing in between his bed and hers, he dragged the left side of his boxer's waistband down just enough to show her the half-dollar sized red splotch on his upper and inner thigh without exposing anything else except a touch of dark pubic hair. The sight sent Jaime into hyperventilation mode.
He covered himself back up and smiled. “Pretty color, isn't it?” he asked
Jaime clutched her chest and wheezed.
“You all right, then?”
“Um . . . sure,” she breathed.
“You want to shower first, or should I?”
She shrugged bashfully.
“Well, if you're leaving it to me, then ladies first.” He chivalrously held out his arm toward the bathroom.
She nodded, standing up slowly. Her cheeks were flushed with color.
“Would you mind terribly if I used the sink whilst you're in the shower? Promise I won't peek.”
She was trembling as she hesitantly agreed.
“I need a shave badly.” He smiled, rubbing a hand across his stubbled chin.
He gave her a moment or two to collect her belongings and make her way into the bathroom. She hurriedly undressed and dove into the shower as he strode into the bathroom, her heart pounding erratically the entire time.
CHAPTER 18
She ran the hot water through her long hair, aware of the fact that he was just beyond the shower curtain, standing in front of the sink. He was using a cheap safety razor they had bought not too long ago and she could hear him cursing under his breath as he shaved. Every once in a while, she heard him utter a softly spoken, “Shit!” She soon realized that it was because he’d nicked himself repeatedly.
Bravely, after the fifth time he’d cursed, she pulled the shower curtain back just enough to peer out without exposing herself. “What's wrong?”
He turned to her with a slight frown creasing his brow, pressing the tip of his finger against a spot he’d nicked on his neck. “This sort of razor is a dangerous weapon in my hands,” he laughed softly. “It's like a hacksaw. I'm used to an electric razor.”
“Well, it's cuz you should use some sort of lubricant, I think. Like lotion or something,” she suggested. She let go of the shower curtain and reached for the small bottle of conditioner the motel had provided for them. “Try this.”
The shower curtain slipped momentarily as she held it out to him. She boldly met his inquisitive stare, uncaring of the fact that he was getting a fleeting glimpse of her naked body. After all, he had carried her to the car when she was in only her panties after the attack. Surely, this time was no different? Deep inside, she hoped that he would see her differently. That perhaps he would take notice of her this time around.
To her astonishment, he did take notice. He was further surprised to find that his heart leapt at the sight of her glistening wet and beautiful body. He blindly took the bottle from her and watched as she pulled the curtain back into place.
“Ta,” he whispered, his voice a tad hoarse.
Jaime couldn't help but to giggle when he unexpectedly dropped the bottle. She knew, then, that he had taken notice of her and the thrill of it reverberated through her entire body. She crossed her arms about her chest as the water rushed down upon her and silently prayed. Please, love me!
Shortly after, she wrapped a large white towel around herself at the conclusion of her shower and stepped out to find that he was still shaving. This time, though, he was having an easier go at it. He’d taken her advice into consideration. She smiled at him in passing as their eyes met within the mirror. He nodded and gave her one of his devastatingly handsome smiles in return. She laughed softly and hurried into the adjacent room. His smile quickly disappeared.
He gazed at himself within the mirror, feeling both con
fusion and a little concern. Don't start feeling something for this little girl! he berated himself as a mournful sigh escaped him.
***
Jaime sat at the head of her bed in her sleeping attire and was combing through her wet blonde hair when Evan walked into the room. He wore only his boxers and was rubbing at his wet hair furiously with a towel. They exchanged quick, embarrassed glances and refrained from speaking for a moment or two.
I love you so much, Evan! Jaime thought. She watched as he tossed the towel aside and ran his fingers through his shaggy brown hair. I would give anything to have you love me in return. Anything! I would quit school. I would leave Philadelphia with you, if it meant I’d get to stay with you forever. I'd give you my virginity and have your children, too. Anything you ask of me! Please!
She wished that she could say all those things to him for real. Why did it have to remain a school girl fantasy? She already knew that were he to ask the one thing he’d already asked of her, she would readily comply. She would tell the police that she had wanted to go with him. That she hadn’t been forced to do so and, therefore, had not been kidnapped in the first place.
***
Jaime lay astride her bed in the darkness, listening to the sound of the violent rain and crackling thunder outside. Flashes of lightning peeked through the edge of the curtain, lighting up the sky so vividly that, at moments, it appeared as if it were daylight outside. The heavy wind pelted the rain against the motel window in torrents making her feel afraid as she lay alone.
Evan was asleep in the other bed, oblivious to the storm brewing in the distance. She heard his gentle breathing change as the loud thunder woke him. She wanted so badly to talk to him, to be near him. Yet she felt too timid to say anything to that effect.
As the thunder continued to rumble and the lightning flickered every now and then, she slid out of her own bed and pulled back the covers of Evan's bed to quickly climb in beside him. To her absolute delight, Evan immediately pulled her against him in a wonderful and warm cuddle. It felt lovely to Jaime and not sexual at all, just incredibly comfortable to both her body and her mind. It was like the time he had comforted her after the assault. She felt true contentment again.