by D. L. Wu
Yet, as Evan felt her warm body cuddled against his, as he tenderly caressed her hair back from her forehead, he felt almost the complete opposite of what she was feeling. He felt heavily conflicted.
CHAPTER 19
It was still raining quite heavily when the sun finally rose over the small town of Loogootee, Indiana. Jaime awakened first and relished the warmth and closeness of Evan sleeping beside her. His arm was curled limply around her shoulder, her face pressed into his armpit.
He had a musky male smell about him, she noticed, that was currently unclouded by the scent of cigarettes. Granted, the scent of tobacco dissipated not long after he stopped smoking. It was then that his warm smell became apparent, an inviting one that she couldn't quite place her finger on. He didn't use any cologne or after-shave since they’d been on the road, so she assumed the scent was his natural body odor. One she found she adored greatly.
Evan awakened, moments later, groaning softly. He stretched, staring at the window as he heard the heavy rain still pounding against it. Sleepily, he glanced down at Jaime as she lay wedged against his bare chest.
“You alright, Luv?” he asked, his voice soft and drowsy.
She nodded with contentment. He ran his free hand through his hair and then stretched the same arm, yielding another groan as he attempted to jolt himself awake. She observed him doing so, smiling with delight.
“Not gonna be much fun driving today with that rain,” he replied and snuck another glance at the window.
“We could stay here for awhile, then,” she offered, enjoying the prospect of remaining exactly where she was, cuddled within his arms.
“Jesus, it's gonna take me forever to get to California,” he complained. “At this rate, anyhow.”
In truth, Jaime didn't want him to make it to California. She wanted to stay on the road with him forever. “What will happen when we get to California?”
Evan sighed deeply, unsure as to whether he wanted to tell her the truth about what he suspected would happen. He knew he'd most likely be arrested anyway, thus nullifying the sole reason that he was traveling across country in the first place. Yet he didn't want to think about that yet. He wanted to cling to his freedom for as long as he was able.
“When we get to Los Angeles,” he began thoughtfully, “we will first do whatever it is you want to do. If you want me to put you on a plane in order to head back home, then that's what we'll do first.”
“I don't mean what will happen to me. I mean, what will happen to you?” she prodded.
Evan groaned inwardly. He couldn’t deny her persistence. She wanted answers to the very questions he didn’t want to answer. At least, not yet. “I don't know exactly,” he said vaguely.
“You'll still be arrested, won't you?” she whispered perceptively.
He breathed in deeply and ran an unsteady hand through his long hair. “Yeah,” he admitted. “Sooner or later. It's inevitable, I'm afraid.”
She clung to him with frightened desperation and affection. “I don't want that to happen to you,” she said softly, her voice muffled as she pressed her face against his arm and chest.
“I don't want that to happen either, my love,” he murmured.
Surprise filled him as she laid her head tenderly upon his bare chest. Her arm slid across his waist and she held him tightly to her. He wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the feel of her body pressed against his.
Tears pricked at the back of her eyelids as she lay against him. She adored the feel of his arms around her and cherished the warmth of his skin against her cheek. She could hear his heartbeat within her ear and treasured each thump. She loved him so much that it hurt and she wanted to tell him so badly.
“We should go have breakfast, Luv,” he whispered, trying to stave off the feelings he knew she was experiencing.
Unfortunately, he was having a hard time coming to terms with the multitude of emotions tumbling around inside of himself as well. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to control them. He realized he might have to go foraging in another bar again later that evening in order to keep himself out of his young charge's knickers before it was too late.
She lifted her head and propped it upon her arms as they lay against his chest in order to get a better look at him. She managed a playful smile and said, “It's raining too hard. You said so yourself.”
“I said it’s too hard for driving, not for eating, Cutie,” he corrected, lightly tapping the tip of a finger against her nose.
Her heart melted once more upon hearing the new endearment coming from his lips in that gorgeous, British accent of his. She smiled and cocked her head to the side in thought. He brushed a strand of her hair away from her pretty blue eyes, wondering as to what it was that she was thinking at that given moment. Part of him was a tad worried.
“Evan, can I be bold with you?”
His eyes widened as she caught him between a rock and a hard place. “Can I say no?” he asked earnestly.
“Of course,” she responded, slightly hurt. “You can say whatever you want.”
“But that's the thing,” he replied sadly. “Will it upset you if I say no?”
“I'll try not to let it.”
“But it will.”
“A little.”
“I'm too old for you, Sweetheart.” He nipped her request in the bud and he hoped he did it without disappointing her too much. “But anything else you want, in this entire world, I will give to you.”
“How do you know what I wanted?” she asked, trying to keep her composure.
“I could be reading you totally wrong,” he mused, “but I don't think I am.”
Still propped upon his chest, she looked down at her arms folded across his warm, soft skin. After a moment, he tenderly caressed the back of her head in an effort to cheer her. As their eyes met, he could see the tears she was fighting to hold back.
“Did your dad ever talk to you about this stuff?” he asked.
She shook her head slowly, her eyes full of sadness. “Not really.”
“Then you have no idea what to expect from guys, do you?”
“I imagine quite vividly.”
Evan laughed with amusement. “Sweetheart,” he said with compassion, “your gift is very special and unique to you. You should only give it to the one man who will truly be yours forever.”
Her heart skipped a beat because of his extraordinary words. She had never heard such a thing before. To have it stated in such a poetic fashion moved her immensely.
“To allow me the honor of taking your gift . . .” he stammered. “Well . . . it would be terribly unfortunate for you, my sweet girl.”
“Why?” she asked. “Because of all your other lovers?”
“Yeah, that's part of the reason.”
“And I would just be one of those hundred?”
He grinned playfully and nodded in hopes of keeping things light-hearted between them even though he knew it would be next to impossible to do so. “A hundred and one.”
“So if you made love to me, I'd eventually be forgotten like all the others?”
“Well, not exactly. You've made a bit more of an impression on me than most of the others.”
“What about the screamer?” she asked suddenly as she remembered his comment about her the other night.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “Can't even remember what she looks like now. Although, I was quite drunk at the time.”
“Did you ever love any of them? Have you ever been truly in love?”
The question caught Evan off guard even though it probably shouldn't have. It was a question, he realized, he had never considered before. After a long moment of contemplation, he said, “You know, after having a hundred beautiful conquests in my entire lifetime, I've never really been in love.”
She gasped softly, still propped across his chest. “Why not?”
“Don't think it's really in me.”
“What? Falling in love? How could it not be in you? Everyone c
an fall in love!”
“I think some people don't have the ability and I may be one of them.”
“It's an inborn ability that everyone has,” she assured him as she realized he was confirming the fact that her love for him was truly one-sided.
“Everyone is different. And you don't know me all that well yet.”
“I know that you're a human being,” she boldly stated. “And human beings can fall in love.”
He shrugged. “Anything's possible, I guess.”
“You just haven't met the right woman yet.”
“You would think out of that legion I've shagged, I would've found the right one by now, huh?”
“Why do you have sex without love?”
Evan was surprised by her candor. “You don't know what sex feels like yet. If you did, you'd know the answer.”
“It doesn't feel horrible and dirty with a faceless person?”
Her observation amused him. “Not to me. To you, it most definitely should, Sweetheart.”
“You're not my father!” she said with resentment.
“I'm almost old enough to be, though. And definitely wise enough. You should take heed.”
“You're not,” she insisted. “Though, I appreciate the fact that you want to protect me from yourself.”
She sat up and pulled her tee shirt over her head, to expose her naked chest to his view. His eyes were wide and he was utterly speechless.
“I know you don't love me. I know I'll just be one hundred and one to you, but I want you to be the one who takes my gift,” she said with determination.
“What did I just tell you, Jaime?” he moaned with desperation. “You should listen to me and wait for the man that you . . .”
“I'll never find anyone else,” she interrupted him, shaking her head resolutely as tears streamed down her cheeks. “This will be the only time I ever have this, I know it! I don't want to miss this chance, Evan.”
“You will have another chance, you’ll see,” he assured her as he sat up with her held tightly within his embrace. “You'll find someone, I swear to you!” He rubbed her bare back, conscious of the predicament they now found themselves in. “Someone who's not a fugitive, Luv. Someone who will give you his all!”
CHAPTER 20
In the midst of their tight embrace, Jaime reveled in the feel of his arms wrapped around her. In a cavalcade of tears, the words she’d held back for so long finally escaped her lips. “I love you, Evan,” she said. “I truly, truly love you.”
He sat there speechless. His arms enveloped her completely, tears of pity forming within his eyes. In response to her declaration, he gently kissed her.
She was well aware of the fact that this was the first time he’d kissed her other than the time he’d kissed her hand. This meant something more to her. Their eyes met as she looked up at him in reverence. She could not deny that a deep and profound connection now existed between them. Her body exploded with feeling as if actual fireworks were going off within her. Her heart pounded within her chest as Evan's mouth hungrily pushed against hers, her mind rejoicing as they shared their first actual kiss.
Nothing she’d experienced within her entire life compared to the way this amazing kiss felt. She was breathless and squealing as she felt his mouth warm, wet, and forcefully sliding against hers. Never in a million years would she have suspected Evan capable of initiating something like this. After all he’d said, after all he had warned her about! He’d kissed her without any reservation.
She lost herself within his kiss, feeling as if she were truly in heaven. She found herself gasping for air the very moment Evan pulled himself away. His chest heaved as he, too, struggled to breath. Not once did he look away from her.
Jaime longed for more. She took the initiative and leaned in for a second kiss. She pushed her mouth against his and he reciprocated her advances. So many emotions consumed her, then and there, that she could hardly think straight. His warmth, the wetness, the sweet taste of his saliva, their tongues in gentle union – she’d never felt anything like it before.
A ripple of unadulterated excitement shot through her as Evan pushed her down onto her back. His warm, strong body pushed against hers as he hovered above her. She trembled, unable to stop her hyperventilation. She found it hard to believe that what she’d dreamt about and wished for the most was finally coming true.
***
Evan wasn't sure as to why he was doing what he was doing. It was as if he had no control over the animalistic instincts that were now taking over his entire body. She felt so warm and soft as she lay cuddled against him throughout the night. He’d smelled her sweet, virginal scent, knowing that she craved him. Hell, she was practically begging him for it.
To top it all off, when she’d ripped her tee shirt over her head, it was more than he could resist. He let his desires take over, allowing his common sense to fly out the window. It would come back to haunt him later on, yet he refused to think about that, for the moment.
He dove head first into the cloud of euphoria he now found himself in. Common sense hit him as he released himself within her with a moan of pleasure. The entire time, he was well aware of her tiny cries of pain as he broke into her for the first time and took her gift away. The knowledge of what he’d done haunted him as he experienced an incredible climax.
Realization dawned on him. He still wasn't exactly sure as to how old she was. What if she was less than eighteen? he wondered. His heart started beating with erratic trepidation. He had the horrific impression that he had just committed another felony.
“Oh, my God!” Evan cried as he knelt between her thighs.
She swallowed nervously as she saw him sitting upon his knees. A mixture of intense pleasure and stinging pain throbbed within her as she stared up at him with confusion. One minute, he was lost in the throes of bliss. The next, he was angry like there was no tomorrow.
“How old are you!?” he inquired forcefully.
“Why?” she asked, her breath catching as her heart hammered within her chest.
“How old are you, Jaime?” he demanded again, brushing his hair off of his face with both hands.
With a tiny, shuddering cry, she said, “Seventeen.”
“Oh, Jesus!” he gasped with disbelief, frightening her with his dramatic change in demeanor. “Oh, Jesus Christ!”
He pulled away from her, feeling confused and a tad delirious. A feeling of intense pain shot through her private area as she sat up abruptly. She ignored it, more concerned with his well-being. He sat upon the bed’s edge, his hands covering his face as he mumbled incoherently.
“What is it?” she asked, pressing herself against his back.
He jumped to his feet as he felt her skin press against him. She reeled back, shocked to find that he was now actively avoiding her. He stood before her, naked and in complete agony. He threaded his fingers through his hair with unsteady hands as he tried to make sense of what had just happened between them.
“Evan!” she cried once more. “Please, what is it?”
“Do you realize what you've just done?” he shot back at her, his voice trembling with emotion.
“What I've just done?” She frowned, unable to understand as to why he was acting so strangely. It was almost as if he was losing it.
“What you've done to me!” he amended. “You just put another nail in my coffin, that's what!”
She held the blankets tightly to her chest as fear invaded every inch of her body. “I don't understand!”
“Why didn't you tell me how old you were right from the beginning?”
She shook her head with tearful confusion. “Why?”
“It's a felony for a twenty-six-year-old to have sex with a seventeen-year-old, that's why!” he screamed.
She trembled with fear and shame. How was she supposed to know that and why was he blaming her for it? She felt so miserable, more than she’d ever felt before. She had wanted her first time to be with him and had wanted it to be the most wo
nderful memory she’d ever had in her entire life. It would have been, she knew, but now, the moment was horribly ruined.
Her tears spilled forth as if they were as torrential as the rainstorm that continued to drench the streets of the small town. She sat there, holding the blankets against herself long after he had dressed and disappeared into the rain. He was deserting her now, she was certain of it.
A myriad of emotions raced through her. She still loved him, but she felt hatred for him, too. Yet the love kept overshadowing the hate. His lovemaking had been mind-blowing. She would never forget it and she doubted that she would attempt to find another man who would come close to how he made her feel.
She hadn't known that it was illegal for him to do what he had done to her. There was no way she could have known. It was more his fault than hers. He should have known, but then again, she’d lied to him about her age. Was that the reason? Did he really think she was as old as she’d said she was and thus old enough to ravish? Was it her fault that he was in more trouble with the law than ever before? Would it even matter anymore?
He was gone. He’d deserted her. She stared out of the front window of the motel and didn't even see him. She did see her blue Acura sitting idly in the parking lot, untouched. The rain was still coming down in sheets, but she could see that Evan hadn't taken her car. He had left it there for her. She stared at it dumbfounded, unsure of how to feel anymore. She sat upon the edge of the bed for awhile, feeling completely numb.
CHAPTER 21
As Evan braved the torrential rain and blinding wind, he found that he didn't know where he was going. Nor did he know what he would do now. All he felt was bitter pain. He realized that Jaime hadn't really tricked him into having sex with her as she was quite child-like in everything she did, but he couldn't help but to put the blame on her, never-the-less.