Wishes in the Wind

by Andrea Kane

  For starters, an unpalatable mystery that, he was beginning to suspect, delved far deeper than he’d originally assumed. Whoever wanted Aldridge off the turf wanted it badly enough to threaten his life … and the lives of all who aided him. Why?

  And at the heart of this thickening mystery was a beautiful woman who made Dustin feel too many conflicting emotions to recount, much less understand.

  Hell, even that which he understood was unrivaled in its intensity. Desire, commonly the most uncomplicated motivator, elemental as the physical craving of one body for another, took on a new dimension when it came to Nicole. He wanted her with a gnawing hunger that would tolerate no substitute, a hunger that defied control or alleviation.

  And that was but the fringe of his bafflement. Because, beyond her body, he wanted to hold her, to help her, to envelop her in a cocoon of safety. At the same time, he wanted to fling open the world’s portals to her, offer her every iota of reckless freedom she’d be offered as a man and denied as a woman.

  He wanted to understand the dreams in her eyes and find a way to make them reality.

  How in God’s name could he feel so much, so soon? They’d spoken but twice, their conversations brief, shrouded in secrets, their kisses broken fragments of temptation that were a lifetime from fruition.

  The truth was, he didn’t even know her.

  And yet he did.

  Rubbing his eyes, Dustin tried to assess the situation rationally. He was a grown man, one who’d lived two and thirty years and was seasoned enough to know that experience shaped character. It also molded outlook and modified expectations.

  Yes, he was searching.

  He’d told as much to Trent. But wishes and certainties were worlds apart. That he retained a flicker of hope was inevitable, particularly after witnessing Trent’s transformation beneath Ariana’s healing love. But a more extensive idealism? A true conviction that a similar fate awaited him as well?

  That flicker had long since begun to extinguish.

  He was jaded. Or perhaps self-protective was a better word. In either case, it was easier merely to exist than to withstand the constant ache of loneliness. So, unconsciously, he’d blanketed his heart in a tangible, if not unbreachable, layer—a layer he was ambivalent to allow anyone to pare away.

  All the more reason to balk at these powerful feelings.

  Then why wasn’t he balking?

  Because the same wisdom that recoiled from vulnerability recognized the rarity of a miracle like Nicole. And that wisdom shouted that whatever obstacles blocked his path, he couldn’t let her go.

  Nor could he hurt her.

  Which led to his ultimate dilemma. How could he have her without hurting her?

  “Good morning, Lord Tyreham.”

  The object of his thoughts hovered uncertainly in the stable doorway. “I’m not late, am I?”

  “No, of course not.” Dustin strode over, absorbing her from head to toe, recalling the perfect curves of her now-disguised body as they’d been the first night they’d met. “In fact, your timing is perfect. My head groom, Brackley, is exercising Dagger—or trying to. As soon as they return, I’ll introduce you to your defiant mount.”

  Nicole glanced about, more speculative than concerned. “And the rest of your employees—stableboys, grooms …?”

  “Derby, if you’re asking if we’re alone, you can relax. The answer is no. My stables are huge, as is my staff. They’re scattered about, attending to their jobs.”

  “Actually, I was wondering if we could be alone. Only for a minute,” she was quick to add.

  His curiosity was thoroughly piqued. “Of course. Come with me.” He led her into a small, private room at the head of the stables. “This is my equivalent of an office,” he explained, closing the door behind them and turning to lean back against it. “I keep schedules, papers, and various records here. It’s convenient. It also serves as a bedchamber when one of my horses has a long and difficult night.”

  “Do you sleep here when they’re ill?”

  “Ill or foaling. Does that surprise you?”

  “Surprise me, no.” She shook her head. “But I am impressed. Such dedication is rare, especially with a man who can well afford to hire others to keep vigil for him.”

  “Wealth does not preclude commitment, Derby. It’s true I was raised with money. But I was also raised with principles. My father believed the former was a matter of chance, the latter, of character.”

  Visibly, Nicole relaxed. “I’m glad to hear that. It should make the chat we’re about to have that much easier.”

  Dustin cocked a brow. “Is that what we’re about to have—a chat?”

  “Yes.” Again, her gaze darted about.

  “We’re alone,” he confirmed. “Now what’s troubling you?”

  “The weeks ahead.” For the first time since entering the stables, Nicole abandoned Stoddard’s lower-pitched voice in favor of her own. “I think we should clarify the situation so there are no misunderstandings.”

  Damn, her eyes were beautiful. Luxurious amethysts, breathtaking as a rare indigo sunset. Dustin’s gaze swept lower, deliberately focusing on her boyish attire to remind himself that it was Stoddard he faced, not Nicole. Based on her appearance, that should have been easy. Men’s breeches, boots, shirt, cap: her disguise was good—damned good. No one would be able to see through it.

  No one but he.

  “Lord Tyreham, I insist we state our positions.”

  “Which positions in particular?” he managed in a husky voice. “We can explore as many as you like.”

  She blinked, innocence rendering her oblivious to his double entendre. “I’d like to discuss a few details of my employment.”

  “Details?” He inclined his head. “As I understood it, you’re going to win the Derby for me. What more is there to clarify? Wages? How many hours a day you’ll train?”

  “Neither. I’m grateful for the opportunity you’ve given me. I’ll train for as long as it takes and accept whatever wages you deem fair.”

  “Then what details are you referring to?”

  “I’m referring to the fact that I can’t do my job effectively if I’m anxious, not to mention that Dagger will sense and take on my unease.”

  “Spoken like a true horseman.” Dustin couldn’t help but grin. “And I quite agree. The questions that arise are, what’s causing your anxiety and how can I relieve it?”

  “The cause and the solution are the same.” Nicole raised her chin. “You.”

  “I?”

  “Yes. Without your cooperation, this entire plan is doomed to failure. I need to know you were sincere when you vowed to safeguard Papa and me.”

  “I was and I am.”

  “Then it’s crucial that you support my efforts. You must perceive me and treat me as Alden Stoddard.”

  “Derby—” Dustin lowered his voice, an added precaution to ensure they were not overheard. “Stop worrying. I don’t make promises I don’t mean to keep. I’ll protect your secret, as well as your father’s. Trust me not to betray you.”

  “I do trust you—I have from the onset. But there are several points I must emphasize. First, recognize that I shall always address you formally—as ‘my lord’ or ‘Lord Tyreham.’ It would be totally inappropriate for Stoddard to use your given name.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Next, cease eyeing me as if I’m some delightful confection you plan to gobble up.”

  Dustin’s lips twitched. “I wasn’t aware I was doing that. But, rest assured, the way I eye you when we’re alone will differ greatly from the way I eye you among others.”

  Confusion clouded her face. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Nevertheless, it’s the truth. My demeanor with Alden Stoddard will be completely businesslike. In fact, I’ll go one step further.” Dustin considered the drastic vow he was about to make, then pushed onward, praying he’d have the strength to see it through. “Even when we’re alone, I’ll let you dictate the te
rms of our relationship. Until and unless you proclaim otherwise, you are Alden Stoddard and I am your employer. Fair enough?”

  “Yes.” Nicole looked surprised, dazed, and—best of all—disappointed.

  “That should eliminate your anxiety, Derby. You now know that I won’t leap upon you like some sacrificial lamb to be devoured against your will. Incidentally,” he added with a wry grin, “even under the best of circumstances, I don’t devour innocent women. Or boys of any kind, innocent or otherwise.”

  A flicker of humor. “I’m relieved, my lord. I was told that innocent women are the only sort who remain safe from your allure. However, I’d heard nothing about boys. I’m delighted to hear that they, too, are excluded from your list of potential prey.”

  Laughter rumbled from Dustin’s chest. “I’m going to have to accustom myself to that rapier wit and forthright tongue.”

  “If Papa’s complaints about me are valid, you have quite a challenge ahead of you.”

  “I knew that from the start. But, Derby—” His gaze delved deep inside her. “Remember that challenges are my forte. Especially those as well worth embracing—and savoring—as you.”

  Her lashes swept her cheeks, now flushed in response to his blatant message.

  “Continue with your details,” Dustin murmured, easing her back to safe ground. “What else can I do to assuage your anxiety?”

  “Only one thing more.” The toe of Nicole’s boot traced lines in the dirt. “My father wants to see you,” she announced uncomfortably. “Today. I told him what happened between us in your study… no!” Her head came up, her expression mortified as she realized what she’d just implied. “I don’t mean I told him what we … that we …” Agitated, she sought the right words. “What I meant was that I explained the outcome of my interview, that you’d deduced who I was and why.”

  “I understood what you meant.” Rather than amusement, Dustin felt a surge of acute tenderness at her plight. When was the last time he’d seen a woman try so hard to circumvent any mention of what amounted to no more than a chaste, albeit soul-shattering, kiss? “And I concur wholeheartedly with your decision. The more intimate moments of our exchange should be kept private, not only because hearing about them would upset your father but because there aren’t words to describe the magic that occurs when you’re in my arms.”

  He could actually see the tiny shiver that ran through her. “It’s never going to happen again,” she whispered, her tone as unconvincing as her pledge.

  “Oh, yes it is.” Dustin’s need to hold her was a palpable ache in his chest—one he refused to succumb to. “Not just again, but again after that. It’s as inevitable as dawn, as compelling as darkness. However, it will be up to you to determine when and where.”

  She was struggling to stay afloat. Guilt apprised him that he wasn’t helping.

  “Let’s get back to the subject at hand,” he suggested, heeding his inner voice. “Why does your father want to see me?”

  “Partially, to discuss the men who are after him. Partially to … to …” Her flush deepened.

  “To make certain I won’t take advantage of his daughter,” Dustin finished for her.

  She looked startled, her eyes widening in reaction.

  “As I told you, Derby, I was raised by a highly principled man. I well understand honor.” He met and held her gaze. “You said that you trust me.”

  “I do.”

  “Then trust me not to take advantage of you or hurt you in any way. Even if it means sacrificing my own needs. And yours.”

  A current of sensual awareness ran between them, softening Nicole’s eyes to a smoky violet. “All right.”

  God, how he wanted her. “What time would your father like to meet?”

  “At noon. Papa says that’s all the time I’ll need to win Dagger over.”

  Dustin chuckled. “I suspect he’s right.”

  Nicole didn’t return the smile. “Dustin,” she murmured, unaware she’d even used his given name, “At the risk of overstepping my bounds, would you go to him? I know that’s an unusual request. You must be accustomed to summoning others, rather than vice versa. But I’m terrified that if Papa leaves the cottage …”

  “He should never venture outside that house,” Dustin inserted at once. “Not until we’ve resolved this threat to his life, and how far-reaching it really is. Of course I’ll go to him.”

  “Thank you.” She nearly sagged with relief. “I seem to be perpetually thanking you.”

  “Then stop. If you want to thank me, win the Derby. I’ll consider that to be a splendid token of your appreciation.”

  “You really mean that, don’t you?”

  “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t. Not to you.” Dustin hesitated, determined to explain that final statement and, by doing so, to explore his unprecedented pull toward her. “Candor is an unusual trait for me, at least where women are concerned.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because, in my experience, women prefer to hear anything other than the truth.”

  “Perhaps you’re associating with the wrong women.”

  “Perhaps. Which brings me to my request—a request that involves those hours when you’re off duty. I’d like to call on you, to enjoy the pleasure of your company. On those occasions, I don’t care if you dress in breeches or gowns, nor do I care if our topics are as complex as the philosophy of life or as fundamental as the breeding of horses. You decide. Moreover, I’ll visit on your terms—at the cottage, with your father present if you wish. That should ease your mind, not only about my intentions, but about the risk of discovery, which will be nil. Anyone who sees me come and go will think I’m simply visiting my jockey to plan our strategy. May I have your permission?” He hesitated. “Nicole’s permission?”

  Silence.

  At last, she replied, “You promised to let me set the rules. Yet earlier, you insisted that our … embrace will happen again. I don’t understand how such conflicting assurances are feasible.”

  “Don’t you?”

  He saw her breath catch.

  “Derby—” Staunchly, Dustin struggled to retain his final shred of control, the one that kept him from damning his vows and dragging her into his arms. “You will set the rules.” Who was he convincing, her or himself? “That was my vow, and I intend to keep it.” God help him. “As for our kisses, their future is in your hands. Yours, and fate’s.”

  Nicole’s expression was an exquisite kaleidoscope of emotions. “And if I refuse your visits? Will Alden Stoddard be scratched from the Derby?”

  “I’ll repeat what I said yesterday. Whatever Nicole decides will have no bearing on Stoddard’s position. My alliance with each of them is entirely separate, neither being contingent upon the other.”

  “Why?” she whispered. “Given the strict constraints that would define our visits, why do you want to see me?”

  “Many reasons. Some of which I supplied on the river walk, when I explained why I was out walking alone rather than immersing myself in the season’s balls. One of which I supplied a moment ago when I admitted how seldom I’ve employed honesty in my dealings with women. And others of which I can’t supply at all, for they’re beyond my comprehension.” He frowned. “Do you know I can’t recall the last time I shared a meaningful conversation? Offered something more profound than a practiced compliment or a senseless nicety? Not just with women but with anyone, save Trent and Ariana. Yet with you—” He shook his head in amazement. “You remind me there’s more. Even after three fleeting chats. I can’t explain it any better than that, for I’m not sure I fully understand it myself.”

  “Who is Ariana?”

  Dustin started. He’d become so absorbed in his explanation, he’d nearly lost track of what he’d said. “What?”

  “Ariana,” Nicole repeated cautiously. “Is she a … friend?”

  There was no mistaking it. Nicole was bothered by the possibility.

  Abruptly, Dustin wanted to whoop with joy. “Y
es, Derby, she’s a friend. But not in the way you mean. She’s my sister-in-law, married to my brother Trenton.”

  “Oh.” Relief, vivid as the dismay that had preceded it, flashed across her face.

  “She’s a very special young woman. We became friends the instant we met—the very day she married Trent. If there’s such a thing as a marriage made in heaven, they have it.”

  “I see.” Nicole looked puzzled. “Is she dishonest?”

  He blinked. “No. She’s remarkably sincere.”

  “Then why do you assume she’s unique?”

  “Because I’ve known quite a few women. And, believe me, I know of what I speak.”

  Nicole chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, then. For so sophisticated a man, you’ve had very limited experiences with women. I’ve been fortunate. In my case, just the opposite is true. Despite my narrow circle of acquaintances, I’ve always found men to be engaging companions, unpretentious in both discussion and recreation.”

  Rage. Dustin nearly jolted at its unfamiliar intensity. More staggering still was its cause: jealousy. Fierce, undiluted jealousy. He wanted to choke the life out of every nameless, faceless bastard who’d come near her. “What men?”

  “Pardon me?”

  “What men? And what recreation?”

  Stunned comprehension dawned. “The kind one partakes in outside the bedchamber,” Nicole retorted, her chin set in that mutinous way Dustin was coming to recognize. “With men who have assets more meaningful than a betting book of wagers on who their next paramour will be.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Bear in mind, my lord, that unlike you, I haven’t spent the better part of my life between the bedsheets. I grew up in the stables, amid fine men like Papa, Sully, and all the other jockeys and trainers I’ve been fortunate enough to know. And, before your eyes once again darken to that fierce shade of blue-black, I mean ‘know’ in the fellowship sense, not the biblical one.”

  Dustin’s lips twitched. “I’m glad,” he said without a shred of remorse. “Because, despite the fact that I’m not a violent man, I felt suddenly compelled to kill each and every male who’s ever so much as touched you.”