by Zoe Chant
One day I woke up and found the entire team arguing with Manuel in the lobby. At first no one noticed I was awake, they were so focused on him. I didn’t feel up to jumping in, so I just lay there and listened.
Hal had decided Manuel wouldn’t be safe in Santa Martina as long as Price was around. All else aside, it turned out that the way Manuel had gotten me out of there was by hot-wiring Price’s car. I’d thought it had looked familiar. So Hal had found Manuel a pack across the country that was happy to take him in. Not a gang, a family.
Manuel was fine with that. He was obviously done with being a gangster and hanging around all those criminals. There was just one snag. He hadn’t officially left the pack yet. He’d been thinking of staying with Protection, Inc. as “laying low for a while,” but once it came to moving to another state and joining a new pack, his wolf instincts kicked in big-time.
He was insisting that he had to go back and walk the gauntlet, and he couldn’t leave until he did. He looked like he was having a nervous breakdown — sweat pouring off him, shaking, breathing a mile a minute — and he was yelling that he’d fight anyone who tried to stop him. That’s what happens when you try to break pack laws, or someone else tries to make you break them. Your wolf fights you. Your body fights you.
The team wasn’t getting it. Hal was trying to explain that Price would kill him, Fiona was saying basically the same thing only more sarcastically, and Destiny was coaxing him with how much better life would be with a pack of good people who actually wanted him. Then Rafa threatened to pick him up and drag him, like it or not.
Manuel yelled, “Just try it. I’ll shift and rip your fucking throat out!”
Everyone shut up. They weren’t scared, they were confused and frustrated. But it gave me a space to break in, because I sure couldn’t speak loud enough to be heard over all that yelling.
I said, “Manuel!”
He ran up to the sofa, grabbed my hand, and said, “They’re trying to make me break pack laws. Nick, you’re my real alpha. Tell them I can’t. I just can’t!”
I looked up at them and said, “He can’t. It’s a wolf thing.”
Hal came over too. He said, “Then what? Do we really all have to go stand over that pack while the kid runs the gauntlet?”
I thought about it. It did seem like the only way. Then I remembered Manuel saying, “You’re my real alpha.”
Pack laws are funny things. They work because wolves believe in them. Leave a pack the way it says you should, and that’s the last time its laws have a hold over you. Join a new pack, and you’re bound by new laws. Everything had gotten so fucked up and confusing by the time I left the pack, maybe I really was still Manuel’s alpha. Or maybe all we needed was for him and me to believe it.
I spoke to him wolf to wolf, like those other guys weren’t even there. “Do you accept me as your alpha?”
He nodded.
I said, “Then you only have to get past me.”
Destiny shouted, “Nick, don’t! It’s too soon!”
She was too late. I shifted. Right away, I realized what she’d meant. All the needles and stuff pulled out, and my bandages came loose. Blood started soaking into my fur. And it wasn’t just that. Shifting takes energy that I couldn’t afford to lose. All of a sudden, breathing was back to being this enormous effort.
But Manuel’s hand was right there in front of my muzzle. I bit him, just hard enough to draw blood. Then I gave him a little nudge, which was all I could manage. He stood up and took a step past me. And that was it. He was through the gauntlet.
The last thing I wanted was to shift again, but I had to. I was his alpha, so he was my responsibility. So I turned back into a man. It fucking hurt. All the bandages and stuff had slid around when I was a wolf, and when I shifted back, they broke or came off or tightened in the wrong places and made me bleed more.
I was covered in blankets, so Manuel couldn’t see what shifting had done to me. I had to get him the fuck out of there before he found out.
I gathered the strength I had left, which wasn’t much, and said, “Go to the other pack, right now. And don’t join another fucking gang. That’s my last order to you as your alpha.”
“Sure,” Manuel said. “I’m done with that anyway. Thanks, Nick. I’ll write. Rafa will fly me there, to make sure I arrive safe.”
Hal nodded at Rafa, and he grabbed Manuel and hustled him out.
I might have pulled the wool over the kid’s eyes, but not over the team’s. The second the door closed, Hal yanked off my blankets with one hand and pressed the other right down on my chest where Price had bitten me. It didn’t hurt, which by then I knew was bad news.
Hal yelled, “Destiny, get the first aid kit! Fiona, call in a helo for Dr. Bedford! Nick, keep breathing!”
My body obeyed him automatically, just like his team ran to obey him and Manuel had obeyed me.
I thought, Now that’s a good alpha. And before I could remind myself that he wasn’t my alpha or that there were more important things to think about, like that I might be dying, I blacked out.
When I woke up again, I could tell that days had gone by. I felt way better, and the number of things hooked up to me was down by at least half. Also, I’d been moved. Finally. I was in a tiny bedroom. Hal was there too, perched on a chair that was way too small for him and reading a book.
He looked up almost as soon as I opened my eyes. “Good to have you back with us. Dr. Bedford thought you’d be waking up about now.”
I said, “Did you bring me to your fucking house?”
Hal shook his head. “Nah, this is still the office. We had two spare rooms, so I put a bed in one. I’ll probably put a bed in the other one too. We work around the clock often enough that we could use them.”
It was weird to finally be able to have a conversation with him. Before, he’d just been talking to me. Now that I could talk back, I wasn’t sure what to say. We obviously weren’t still enemies, but we weren’t friends, either. I didn’t know what we were.
“Thanks for saving my life,” I said. “And for finding a place for Manuel. He needed a pack, and he sure as hell couldn’t go back to mine. Or whoever the fuck’s it is by now.”
“Price took over,” Hal said.
“Fuck!” I banged my fist into the mattress. Bad move. My whole body hurt like hell now that I was out of shock and off the painkillers. But I was so furious, it steamrollered the pain. “I fucking knew it. I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”
“Uh-huh.” Hal leaned back. His chair nearly tipped over, and he sat back up in a hurry. “Are you thinking of taking over your pack again?”
“I can’t. Pack law says once you go, there’s no coming back. I’ll just kill that asshole...”
Hal looked at me. He has a way about him. He thinks, and it makes you think, too. So I thought about it.
“Son of a bitch,” I said at last. “I can’t. If I can’t be his alpha, I can’t make an alpha challenge. I could just walk up and tell him to fight or die, but he doesn’t do fair fights. He’d refuse. I’d have to jump him fast and murder him in cold blood, or he’d order his pack to rip me to shreds. I can’t fight the entire pack. And some of them are my friends. If Price orders them to kill me, they’d have to try. I can’t do that to them.”
I couldn’t do it to myself, either, but I didn’t want to admit that.
“So, let me get this straight,” Hal said. “You won’t go after the man who plotted to kill you and nearly succeeded, because it would either hurt your friends or be flat-out murder. A lot of people talk about loyalty and fairness, but you’re really walking the walk.”
The way he was watching me made me twitchy. It was like he was reading... not my mind... like he was reading my soul. It pissed me off.
“The fuck I am,” I said. “I’m a fucking gangster. But you’re right, my pack and Price and I are done with each other. I guess I could move in on another pack...”
But even when I was saying it, I knew I was done wi
th alpha challenges. “No. I don’t know what I’ll do, other than leave town. But I’ll go as soon as I can walk, and then I’ll be out of your lives forever. So thanks again for saving me and Manuel. And tell your team thank you. You all have shifters’ honor — the real fucking deal. Anyone can save a friend, but it takes something fucking else to save an enemy.”
Then I shut up, because Hal was giving me a weird look. I know what it means now, but I didn’t then. It’s his I have plans for you look. He said, “The same sort of something fucking else that makes you nearly get yourself killed saving the kid who’d just challenged you to a duel to the death?”
I had no idea why Hal was talking to me like that. It made me really suspicious. I just muttered, “Whatever,” and hoped he’d shut up.
He didn’t. Hal went on, “Twice. We nearly lost you when you shifted so Manuel could run the gauntlet. That took some quick thinking, at a time when it must have been hard to put any thoughts together at all. And courage. And sacrifice, again...”
I said, “What are you getting at?”
He said, “I’d like to offer you an alternative.”
“What?” I asked.
“A job. Why don’t you join Protection, Inc.?”
“You are fucking kidding,” I said.
Hal shook his head. “I’m absolutely serious.”
I could see that he was — Hal doesn’t do sarcastic — but I couldn’t believe it. “I fought every single one of you!”
Hal nodded. “Any wolf who can hold his own against a lion, a tiger, a leopard, and a grizzly is a wolf I want on my team.”
The door flew open. Apparently the rest of the team had been eavesdropping and someone leaned too hard. They nearly fell into the room. It would have been funny if they hadn’t looked so outraged. Actually, it was funny and the outrage made it even funnier. I guess having me in the office for a few days was one thing, but having me actually on their team crossed one hell of a line.
“Absolutely not,” Rafa said. “I’m a Navy SEAL and a man of honor, and I do not team up with criminals.”
Destiny said, “He gave me a permanent scar.” She yanked down her sleeve to show this tiny little white mark on her shoulder. I guess I bit her pretty hard when she was a tiger.
Fiona pointed like she wanted to stab me with her finger. “You think we can trust him to guard our backs? Never!”
Do it, my wolf said.
I couldn’t resist fucking with them. I turned to Hal and said, “I accept.”
And then there was a whole lot of yelling. I’d meant to enjoy watching them all blow their tops while they thought I was serious, and then get to see it all over again when I told them I was just yanking their chains. But Hal sat there and calmly answered all their objections. The way he talked about me — I can’t repeat it, it’s too embarrassing. I’ll blush or something. But he said more good things about me in an hour than I’d heard from anyone since I was fifteen.
Hal convinced them to give me a chance. And after that, I had to give them a chance.
Once I got my strength back, the first thing I did was help them boot my old gang out of the neighborhood. I talked to some of the wolves and convinced them to leave the pack of their own accord. I stood with Hal’s team and watched while they ran the gauntlet, so we’d intimidate Price and his buddies out of killing anyone. The wolves who left got roughed up, but nothing that wouldn’t heal overnight. They made their own pack. Nothing criminal, just a group of wolves in the city. Turned out that a lot of them had wanted out for a while, but they’d been scared of the gauntlet.
Price was fucking furious, but there was nothing he could do about it. He took what was left of his pack— the dregs, the guys who were criminals because they liked to hurt people— and that was the last we saw of them. He didn’t just leave the neighborhood, he left the city. Last we heard of them, they were way out of our territory, wandering around picking pockets and mugging people and stealing cars. Really small-time stuff. Pathetic. Eventually we lost track of them.
The new wolf pack invited me to join, but my wolf said, You have a pack.
It was hard to believe, but once he said it, I realized he was right. I didn’t have that empty, no-pack feeling gnawing away inside of me. I had a pack, and it was Protection, Inc.
Even so, for the first six months or so, I was half-convinced that at any second, Hal would take back his offer. Or I’d realize I could never hack it outside of a gang, and I’d have to drop out. But he didn’t. And I didn’t.
And here I am.
Chapter Seven
Nick
Before he started talking, Nick had intended to tell Raluca about the gang he’d run and the kills he’d made, and leave his feelings out of it. But she hadn’t asked what crimes he’d committed. She’d asked him why he was so angry. So he had to begin with his father’s first pack, and then go on to the CEO. His mother’s death. His father’s. Everything.
As he spoke, his rage poured out in a torrent. And not only that, but grief and guilt and all the other feelings he usually tried not to even think about, let alone talk about. By the end of it, he was completely wrung out, with the bedspread beneath him damp with sweat.
Raluca kept her word. She didn’t let go of him. She didn’t even flinch. Instead, she held him tight, stroking his hair and rubbing his shoulders, until he was done.
She didn’t break the silence immediately, but she didn’t need to. He could feel her love and support in the gentle but relentless strength of her hands, in the steadiness of her breathing, and in her presence. Raluca was his mate, and nothing he’d told her had damaged the bond between them. If anything, he’d strengthened it with his honesty.
“What happened to Manuel?” she asked. He hadn’t gotten used to her real voice, and it once again startled him. It was no longer high and chiming, but resonant, deep for a woman. Less pretty, but more sexy. And far more real.
The unexpectedness of both her question and the sound of it distracted him from that fucking tidal wave of emotions. He rolled over, nudging her to move with him until neither of them were lying on any wet spots.
By the time they’d resettled themselves, his voice was steady. “He’s in college now. Still with the pack in Montana. I’ve flown out to visit them a couple times. That’s them in the photo in the lobby. Manuel’s the skinny one with long legs. We were deer hunting, and I happened to be in the lead when an aunt shifted to take a picture. They’re not my pack, but Hal wanted a photo of me that wasn’t a team shot, and I didn’t want to be on the wall as a lone wolf. I have a snapshot of me as a pup with my Dad and Mom, but I couldn’t put that up either. I don’t mind seeing Manuel, because he made it out. But if I had to look at my parents every day, I’d lose it for sure. It’d be about three days before I tracked down fucking Price and killed him.”
Nick cut himself off. His heart was pounding with the force of his rage, his muscles taut and quivering as stretched wires.
“Your anger is justified.” Raluca stroked his damp hair. “You and people you loved were terribly wronged. You were forced to commit acts you never would have freely chosen. You were manipulated by your own honor, and you nearly gave up your life for it. If I were you, I too would be filled with rage.”
Nick let out a deep breath. He’d known by her body language that she must have thought something like that, but it was still good to hear. He hadn’t cried when he’d told his story. He didn’t cry, period. But hearing that from Raluca made his eyes prickle.
“Thanks.” His voice shook a little, but this time he didn’t try to stop it. Raluca wouldn’t care.
She went on, calmly but with growing intensity, “And if I ever see Price, I am not sure that I could hold so tight to honor as you did. A wolf does not stand a chance against a dragon, no more than I would as a woman. There can be no fair fight between Price and I. But for what he did to you, I would be very tempted to seize him in my talons, soar upward until he begged in terror for his life, and then let him fall. Sc
reaming all the way down.”
“Whoa.” Nick stared at her. He hadn’t expected that. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” Raluca’s eyes burned silver. “In fact, if you wish it, perhaps Hal could discover where he lives now. I am not bound by pack laws.”
Nick was tempted, but he shook his head. She had no blood on her hands, and she couldn’t know what that felt like until it was too late for take-backs. “Nah, let’s leave him to his sorry life. But if he ever comes after me again, feel free.”
“I shall,” Raluca said coolly.
Nick had no doubt that she meant it. He knew his teammates would protect him, but it was something new to have his mate swear it.
It was something new to have a mate at all. Once he’d stopped fighting his feelings, the depth of his love dizzied him. He’d never felt anything like it, protectiveness and sexual heat and camaraderie and adoration, all wrapped up in one astonishing package. Now that he’d given into it, he couldn’t believe he’d managed to deny it for as long as he had.
More balls than brains, his wolf remarked. Still.
Shut the fuck up, Nick retorted silently, but he couldn’t get any real anger into it.
Raluca’s eyes cooled to stormy gray. She touched his chest. He didn’t have to look down to see where she had her fingers. “The dead deer in the forest. Are those your kills as an alpha?”
“Yeah.” Nick lifted her hand and laid it over the pitted scars on his chest. “And obviously, that’s from Price. I don’t know if it scarred like that because the original wound was so bad, or because I tore it open again shifting.”
Raluca pulled her palm up so it hovered above the skin. But he could still feel her radiant heat, soothing as a hot compress. “Doesn’t it hurt to be touched?”