by Zoe Chant
“Not if you’re gentle,” Nick said.
She frowned. “Was I not?”
“You were.” Then Nick admitted, “It just still burns me up. Not there. Here.” He touched his heart, then his head. “Here. Not the gauntlet itself, but why it happened. How it happened. Price used Manuel like he was a tool, not a person. Fucking Price! All he ever fucking had to do was say, “Sure, shifters’ honor, what can I do to help?” And then maybe Mom wouldn’t have died and Dad wouldn’t have killed anyone. Dad for sure wouldn’t have stayed in a gang. He’d be alive today.”
“Who else are you angry at, Nick?” Raluca asked softly.
“Who am I not?!” Fury burned through Nick as he spoke, as hot and frustrated now as when he’d been fifteen. “That fucking CEO — it wouldn’t have cost him anything to help us, but he liked being able to sit back in his cushy office and pride himself on being a selfish fuck who valued money above people. Price’s asshole buddies who helped him kill that poor son of a bitch who just wanted to leave. Dad’s smug pack that thought they were better than humans. The whole fucking system that makes poor people beg for money just to stay alive. Those black ops guys who took Shane and came halfway to breaking him. Your Uncle Constantine—”
“What?” Raluca’s hands stopped rubbing his shoulders, startled into immobility. “But you’ve never even met him.”
“I don’t have to meet him. He tried to kill Journey. He nearly killed Lucas. And you! I hate him for what he did to you!”
“Me?” Raluca sounded incredulous. “You’re angry for me?”
Nick leaned on one elbow, his breath coming hard, his entire body burning. Raluca’s confusion made him even more furious — not at her, but at the man who had molded her until she didn’t even understand why anyone, even her own mate, could feel rage on her behalf. “Yes, of course I fucking am! He manipulated you, just like Price manipulated me and Manuel. For all we know, he’s trying to kill you right now. But I don’t give a fuck if he isn’t, I still fucking hate that bastard. You’ve never harmed a soul in your entire fucking life, and he tried to stop you from having a life. He took away your freedom, he took away your voice, he took away your self! You’re surprised that I’m mad at him — that shouldn’t be surprising. But it is to you, because he even took away your anger.”
“No.” Raluca’s eyes were changing again, beginning to glow silver. Nick shut his mouth in a hurry. “He only tried.”
“Were you secretly furious at him the whole time?”
Raluca shook her head, sending her cool hair slithering across his hot skin. “No. I felt unjustified. He was giving me everything I could possibly want, and doing nothing overtly wrong. And anger is considered an improper emotion for a princess. It was there nonetheless, but I smothered and ignored it. And after I was free, my uncle was locked up and out of my reach. I couldn’t take revenge on him, so I turned my rage on someone else.”
“Who?” Nick asked blankly.
Raluca’s lips curved into an ironic smile. “You, Nick. I was furious at you. I have spent the last few days plotting vengeance against you. I knew you’d be humiliated at the white tie gala, and I looked forward to it. And when you played me that song in the car, I almost threw you out of it.”
“Oh!” Nick had known Raluca was pissed at him, but not how deep it had run. “Well, don’t worry about that. I deserved it. I was deliberately trying to piss you off. That chip on my shoulder —”
“Yes,” Raluca said. Now her eyes reminded him of Hal’s or Shane’s: that piercing gaze that sees into your blind spot, coolly evaluating everything you can’t see — or don’t want to see — in yourself. “You and I are very much alike, are we not? Neither of us can take vengeance against the people who harmed us most. And both of us were told not to be angry, when we had excellent reasons to be so, so we were forced to bottle it up until it exploded, like champagne gone sour.”
“But I wasn’t...” Nick’s voice trailed off as he thought about what she’d said. “No, you’re right. I was too. Dad told me to control my wolf, and when I didn’t, I killed someone. When I was in the gang, I was always afraid that if I ever confronted Price, I’d kill him. So I pretended I didn’t care, until it was too late. I think Rafa and Fiona and the rest of my team constantly telling me to chill out made me feel like they’re the only safe people to be mad at. If I ever got pissed at anyone who actually deserved it, I might kill them. So I kept on going ballistic on people I cared about and knew I’d never hurt, and I drove them nuts without ever getting any less angry.”
“A banked fire doesn’t go out,” Raluca said thoughtfully. “It smolders and spreads. Every now and then, a spark goes up and sets whatever it falls on aflame.”
“That’s me, all right. Setting things on fire every which way.” Nick sighed. “Now I feel bad for my team. And you. I’d apologize, but I have a feeling I’d just fuck it up. I mean to them. I could apologize to you. Again.”
Raluca ruffled his hair. “No need. For myself, anyway. As for your team, perhaps they would prefer your anger turned on their behalf rather than on them. Have you ever told Lucas how you feel about Uncle Constantine?”
Nick’s face burned with embarrassment as he recalled Lucas’s return. “Uh, no. I just dropped a bunch of f-bombs on his mate.” At Raluca’s expression, he added, “Not literal bombs. That’s American slang for that word you hate.”
“Oh. That is convenient. Now I can refer to it more easily.” Raluca looked so pleased that Nick had to stifle a laugh.
“You gonna tell Lucas how you feel about Constantine?” he asked.
“Yes, I shall. Lucas may try to turn it aside, out of pride, but I think it will please him.” She brushed her fingers over his lips, her touch hot and feather-light. “It pleased me to hear it from you.”
“Oh. I’m glad. I guess I’ll tell him too, then. I might not stop there, even. Some stuff went down with Shane, too, a while back. I was scared that he’d die, and furious at the people who’d fucked him over. But I didn’t say so. I yelled at him instead. It was when he was hurt, too. Like I don’t know how much fun that is.” Nick swallowed. “Fuck. There’s gonna be a lot of changes. I feel turned inside-out.”
“I too. But perhaps we can steady each other.”
“Yeah.” With Raluca at his side, Nick felt more secure than he had in years. She might look fragile, but he could lean on her without worrying that she wasn’t strong enough to bear his weight or she’d look down on him for needing support. “You’re a fucking pillar of steel. In high-heeled shoes.”
“You as well,” she said. “In boots.”
They leaned in at the same moment to kiss. It sent a jolt of love and desire through him, as all her kisses did. As, he felt sure, all her kisses always would.
But between the party from hell and the murder attempt and all that emotion, Nick was too worn out to do more than kiss. Raluca obviously was too, though he could only tell by the intuition granted to him by their bond and from the faint shadows under her eyes. He’d been taught on the streets and she in a palace, but they’d both learned that showing any signs of weakness could be deadly. It would be a hard habit to give up.
“Ready for bed?” Nick asked.
She nodded gratefully. Nick held her close in one arm and reached up to turn out the light.
As she relaxed into him, his thoughts raced ahead to the next morning. He’d have to take back everything he’d said to Hal. No fucking way was Nick letting someone else protect his mate now. But what should he say?
When other team members had introduced their mates to Protection, Inc., the rest of the team — Nick included — had hazed their mates in various ways, to make sure they were strong and loving and loyal. Shane had used his power to inflict terror to test their courage, and when Shane had found his own mate, Lucas had used his dragon heritage to do the same thing to her. All the mates had passed their tests with flying colors, but it had been no fun for them, and Hal and Lucas and Shane had been furious when i
t was their mates getting hazed. Now that he had a mate himself, Nick knew exactly how they’d felt. Even the thought of anyone pulling that sort of crap on Raluca made him outraged.
On the other hand, maybe the team would skip it this time. Hal had personally saved the asses of everyone on the team, so of course they all loved him and wanted to make sure his mate was worthy of him. Lucas was the newest member, the rookie, so it was his teammates’ job to look out for him. And anyone who knew Shane could see that he’d been through hell, so his friends wanted to make sure his mate wouldn’t add a broken heart to his burdens. But Nick was just... Nick.
All the same, he didn’t want Raluca to face the teasing and provoking and intimidating and weird impromptu tests of strength and loyalty and intelligence that the team had thrown at Ellie and Journey and Catalina. Maybe the best thing would be to hold off on revealing the mate thing for now. Later, when he had more time, he could tell his teammates one by one, alone with them, and make sure they didn’t try anything.
Satisfied with that solution, Nick said softly, “Raluca?”
There was no response. Her breathing was deep and even. She was already asleep, just minutes after he’d turned out the light.
Nick couldn’t help being a bit envious. Even after he’d gotten out of the gang, Nick had a hard time letting his guard down enough to sleep. It often took him hours, and even then he often woke to his wolf’s howled demands to check for dangers which existed only in nightmares that Nick himself couldn’t recall. He’d resigned himself to never being able to convince his body or wolf that he was ever completely safe.
But tonight he lay relaxed, marveling at his good luck. To his werewolf senses, Raluca’s hair and dragonmarks shone faintly in the darkness, like the paper stars he’d glued to his ceiling when he’d been a little boy. He breathed in her scent of steel and roses, and curled in even closer to the heat of her body. This was one night when he’d actually enjoy lying awake.
Go to sleep, his wolf said with a jaw-cracking yawn. No one can hurt you or your mate here.
“Will wonders never fucking cease,” Nick muttered.
But neither Raluca nor his wolf responded; both were fast asleep. A moment later, Nick joined them.
Chapter Eight
Raluca
Raluca awoke to the sweetest sight that had ever greeted her in the morning.
Nick lay beside her, with one arm around her side and the other flung out, his nude body on magnificent display. The defined musculature of his back, its pale skin unmarked except for a few leafy branches dipping over his shoulders, would put even a dragon to shame.
I told you he had a very nice back, her dragon hissed.
And backside, Raluca answered, smiling. It was firm and compact, as fine a sight naked as it was in jeans.
She was tempted to pat it, but Nick was sleeping so soundly that she hated to wake him. His face was turned toward her, his thick black lashes easily visible against his cheeks, his chin roughened with stubble, his lips slightly parted. He looked boyish and, for the first time since Raluca had met him, at peace.
She wondered if that was how he’d have been if his parents hadn’t died as they had, and none of the ensuing consequences had occurred. Maybe he’d have followed in his father’s footsteps and worked in the steel mill. But Nick had too much fire in him for her to imagine him living a quiet life. If he’d grown up without adversity, might he have sought it out of his own accord?
Raluca hadn’t moved, but no doubt her breathing had changed as she’d woken. Nick stirred, blinking his long lashes, then instantly pulled her in.
“Hey.” Nick pressed a kiss against her shoulder, then her collarbone, and finally her lips. “You’re really here.”
“I have no intention of going anywhere without you.”
He kissed her again. Then his bright eyes widened in sudden recall. “Oh, fuck. I have to talk to Hal. I told him last night you were going to get a new bodyguard. I need to head him off at the pass before he assigns someone.”
He sprang out of bed, his lithe musculature flexing beautifully, then held out a hand. “Shower with me?”
Raluca accepted, feeling half in a dream. The bathroom off the bedroom was plain and tiny, with barely enough room in the shower stall for two. But Nick’s agility and Raluca’s trained grace allowed them to move within it without colliding with each other or the walls. Water soaked his hair, turning it to shining sleekness, and streamed down his body, gleaming off his defined muscles and brightening his tattoos. They spent some time simply touching each other, enjoying the feeling of wet skin on skin and the intimacy of soaping each other’s bodies.
But after a while, the warm water began to chill Raluca. She turned the heat up until Nick’s skin flushed pink, then guiltily reached to turn it back down. “I’m sorry. It’s too hot for you.”
He caught her hand. “Don’t. It’s hot, you’re hot. I like it.”
“I like showering with you. I have never bathed with a man before.”
Nick grinned. “So you just lost your shower virginity? If I’d known, I’d have held off till we had more time to enjoy it.”
“We will have more time later, will we not?”
The same amazed delight that Raluca felt visibly radiated from Nick. “Yeah. We’ll have all the time in the world.”
But he kept darting glances away. Raluca knew he was impatient to speak with Hal, but unable to bring himself to end the time with her. She resolved his dilemma by turning off the water.
When they finished drying each other off, she reluctantly dressed in the black fatigues. They reminded her unpleasantly of how she and Nick had misunderstood and rejected each other the last time she’d worn them, but she could hardly wear a couture gown around an office. It needed to be dry-cleaned before she could wear it again at all, anyway.
“When will I be able to retrieve my clothes from the hotel?” Raluca asked. “Or will I need to purchase more?”
“Someone will fetch them,” Nick said absently. He was staring down at his crumpled white tie outfit. With a groan, he said, “Hang on. I’ll be right back.”
He darted out with a towel around his waist, then bolted back inside with an armful of black cloth. As he began changing into his own fatigues, he said, “Team’s already starting to arrive. This could get awkward.”
“How so?”
Nick turned to the closed door, his entire body radiating nervy tension. She could hear nothing, but no doubt he heard more. “We have to decide if we tell them that we’re mates now, or later. My vote is for later.”
“Would Hal disapprove of you guarding me if he knew I was your mate?” Raluca asked.
“I doubt it. He guarded his mate. No, there’s this other thing...” Nick trailed off, cocking his head as he listened to more sounds that Raluca could not hear. “I don’t think they’d do it, they already know you, sort of, and I — well, I’m just me.”
“What are you talking about?” But even as she asked, Raluca’s attention was elsewhere. She was rifling her hoard pack for jewelry that would go with the fatigues and dress them up, but which she hadn’t already worn with them. It was a challenging task, especially as Nick was in a hurry and she meant to accompany him.
“It’s a little hard to explain.” Nick’s eyes flickered as he listened to whatever was happening outside. “Do you mind if right now, we just tell Hal we made up and you still want me as a guard, and we save the mate talk for later?”
Raluca supposed that Nick expected his teammates to tease him over his newly mated state, as Destiny had when she’d thought he had a date. Though Raluca wouldn’t be the target of any teasing herself, she sympathized with Nick’s desire to postpone it.
“I am in no hurry. We can tell the others whenever you wish,” Raluca said, and was rewarded with his relieved smile.
She finished finger-combing her hair and clipped it with a simple pin of gold and rubies. Nick also finger-combed his hair, but she suspected that was how he always did it
. It fell easily around his face, and would no doubt dry into his usual appealingly tousled locks.
“Do you even own a hairbrush?” Raluca asked.
His blank look said it all.
They helped each other strap on their bulletproof vests, then button black cloth jackets over them.
“You look like a girl wearing her boyfriend’s shirt,” Nick said with a grin, then held up one hand. “Wait... Okay, coast is clear.”
He opened the door to an empty corridor. They walked to the lobby, where Nick indicated the wolf photo. “There’s Manuel.”
“And you.” Raluca examined the photo again. Nick’s wolf still looked so sad. “Perhaps you should take another photograph the next time you visit them.”
Nick looked more closely at his shifted self. “Yeah, I probably should. Don’t know if anyone but you would notice, but I sure don’t look like I was having any fun.” Lowering his voice, he added, “You come along next time. I’ll clean up better, guaranteed.”
He knocked on Hal’s door. A deep voice rumbled, “Come in.”
Only Raluca’s princess training prevented her from giving a start at the sight of not only Hal, but Destiny, Rafa, and the blonde woman that Raluca had only ever seen in a photograph on Hal’s desk. Nick didn’t flinch, no doubt drawing upon his alpha cool, but Raluca felt him stiffen slightly beside her.
“Raluca, this is Fiona,” Hal began. “She’s done with her job, so either she or Destiny can —”
“Nope,” Nick interrupted him. “Raluca’s still with me. We made up. Everything’s cool now.”
Everyone stared at him.
“Hey, Fiona,” Nick said before any of them could speak, in a less-than-subtle attempt at distraction. “How was the job?”
The blonde woman gave a shrug, her elegant eyebrows raised. “It was fine. Nick, after all the times I’ve offered to teach you how to go undercover in high society, why —”
Hal interrupted her. “Hold on, Fiona. Raluca, I want to hear it from you. Do you really want to stay with Nick?”
“Yes,” Raluca said.