by M. Sembera
"Other than being scarred by seeing you feel mom up in the kitchen?"
"Your dad and I thought you might be having a little trouble adjusting with Tansy being back."
Before I could ask why they thought that, like I didn't already know, dad griped, "I don't think that."
"Yes you do," she insisted with a glare.
"No, you said, don't ya think, and my exact words were..."
"Augustus, we agreed that..."
"Woman, I didn't agree to anything."
"Yes, you did!"
"I said do whatever you want, that's not agreein'."
I stood up, knowing they would be at it for a while.
"I'll be in my room, let me know when you're done so I can tell you I'm fine," I sarcastically announced, heading towards the hall.
Swinging my door closed, I glanced around. I hadn't spent much time in my room since I'd been home. With a deep breath, I stretched out on my bed. How was I supposed to relax in here when every time I closed my eyes...
"I don't think we're supposed to."
"If you don't want to..." she said with a shrug before standing up.
"I didn't say that I didn't want to."
A shy smile formed on her face as I stood up too.
"Are you sure?"
Tucking her hair behind her ears, she nodded.
Rolling over, I buried my face in my pillow.
Not ten seconds later, my cell phone rang.
"Where are you?" Palmer asked before I had the chance to say hello.
"Home."
"My two o'clock cancelled. Grab your trunks and meet us out at the pond."
"I didn't bring any."
"Man, come on."
"Who’s going?"
"I've got Tansy with me now and we're headin' to pick up Joie."
Shit.
"I'll head that way in a minute."
"Cool. Catch ya later."
As the call ended, I stood up. This was sure to be an awkward and uncomfortable afternoon.
I pulled up next to Palmer's car about a quarter mile from the pond. I was surprised by how empty the make shift parking lot was, this used to be the spot. Skippin' rocks and checkin' out the girls in bikinis, best way to spend a hot summer day.
Joie and Tansy were sitting on a blanket facing the water while Palmer stood next them wearing black board shorts and sunglasses, rubbing himself with sunscreen.
With a slight head nod when Palmer looked in my direction, he asked, "Wanna catch my back for me?"
"I'll pass."
Joie looked over her shoulder with a laugh before hopping up.
"I'll do it," she cheered, taking the bottled from him.
I glanced at Tansy who was still facing the pond, clearly ignoring me.
"So, where is everyone? It's dead out here."
Without turning around, Tansy stood up, griping, "What, we're not enough for you now?" as she pulled her cover-up off and headed to the water.
Watching the strings of her purple bikini top sway across her back as she walked, I heard Joie say, "I think this is one of those solidarity moments."
I tore my eyes away from Tansy just long enough to notice Palmer watching Joie in her hot pink tank top and black boy-shorts catch up with her.
We sat down on the blanket the girls were sitting on just seconds before us.
“It’s really dead out here,” I noted, taking in the smell of trees and water with the wind.
Nodding, Palmer shared, “Yea, ever since they built that waterpark two towns over, no one comes out here anymore.”
Feeling a sense of sentiment over our summer spot, I noticed Palmer staring at me.
“What?”
"You gonna make it through the summer?"
Shaking my head at myself, I answered, "Hell if I know."
"I think it's in our DNA, ya know, wantin' somethin' we're not supposed to have."
"I'm screwed then."
"You and me, both, man."
"You?"
Grabbing two waters from the ice chest next to us, Palmer tossed me one and replied, "That girl just doesn't know what she's doin' to me."
Avoiding the topic all together, since not only did I have a pretty good idea what Joie was doing to Palmer, I also knew who she was doin', so I changed the subject.
"By the way, what's your count up to now?"
"Thirty five. Aunt Penny just did this one last month," he replied holding his arm up and pointing to a pink heart with a black arrow through the center of it on his ribcage."
I couldn't help thinking that was a strange thing for him to get.
"It's...cute."
With a smirk across his face, he replied, "It is, isn't it," before standing up and heading in the direction of the girls as he taunted, "Tansy liked it. She's into cute, ya know."
I knew he wasn't going to try and get with her he was pushing me like always. Half of the ridiculous things I'd done in my life were provoked by Palmer. Come to think of it, he's kind of an asshole. That aside, there was no one better to have your back, like when word spread at school that Tansy and I got caught in bed together.
"Why are you hanging around outside the girls’ restroom? There's better ways to find a date, ya know."
Clenching my fists and grinding my back teeth together, I leaned my back against the lockers.
"Tansy's in there."
"Stalker."
"She's crying."
Palmer's whole disposition stiffened as he scowled and asked, "What's up?"
"Everyone's talking about her. I need to do something about it but she said I would make things worse, and now, she won't talk to me."
"Who's everyone?"
"Mostly Jared Perdue and his group of dumbasses."
Nodding, he replied, "Here's what we're gonna do, from now on, anyone who mentions her, we shut their mouths for 'em."
It took around seven fights before Palmer and I got suspended. When we came back, no one would have dared to mess with her, but it didn't matter because she was already gone.
Shaking off the memory, I heard Joie holler.
"Turtle!"
She took off out of the water with impressive speed and stopped in front of a rotted out tree stump. Palmer and Tansy waded up to the edge of the pond before getting out of the water. He headed over to Joie and the turtle she spotted while Tansy headed in my direction.
I tried to keep my focus off to the side but as Tansy leaned over and opened the cooler to get a drink, the water from her hair dripped onto my arm. It felt cool against my skin and I started imagining how good it would feel to pull her down on top of me.
"What?" she griped with a 'why are you looking at me' expression on her face.
"You're dripping water all over me."
It wasn't like I minded but I had to say something and it was better than 'I'm picturing you're wet, half-naked body on top of me'.
"Whatever, First," she spouted and turned her back to me.
I watched the drops of water fall from the ends of her hair and roll down her back for a moment before asking, "So, where's your tattoo?"
As she whipped around to glare at me, it occurred to me that I hadn't really thought that question out. She obviously didn't want me to know about it judging from her reaction when Palmer said something about it the night I got back. It was an innocent question though and she was looking at me like I asked her to give up her panties or something. I was thinking of things to start a conversation with her but then I happened to notice that I didn't see a tattoo, and it may have bugged me a little that Palmer saw a spot on her that I couldn't see with her only wearing a bikini.
"What makes you think that's any of your business?"
Shrugging my shoulders at her, I pretended it wasn't needling my brain to know.
"Just making conversation."
Her eyes narrowed and a smile pulled at the corner of her lips.
"So, you're a liar on top of being an ass now?"
Damn it, she knew I was lying.
"I'm not a liar."
"But you are lying."
Just as I was about to admit to the truth, I heard Joie shout a few curse words.
Both Tansy and I looked in Joie and Palmer's direction. She took off towards them as I hopped up and followed.
"I told you it was a damn snapper," Palmer fussed.
When we reached them, he was holding both his hands over one over hers trying to stop the blood that was pouring from it and she was visibly trying not to cry.
"Here," I offered, quickly pulling my shirt off over my head and tossing it to him.
Tansy questioned, "Do you have a first aid kit in the car?"
Shaking his head while wrapping my shirt around her hand, Palmer stated, "She needs stitches. I'm taking her to the emergency room."
"I don't want to," Joie snapped at him and jerked her hand away.
Scooping her up off of her feet, he barked, "I don't remember askin'."
Joie hollered and cursed at him as he carried her away.
I watched him walk off with her, thinking that for someone who didn't want to go, she wasn't putting up much of a fight. Sure, she was yelling but it was hard to take her seriously with one of her arms snug around his neck as he carried her.
"What?" I questioned, turning to look as Tansy when I heard her laugh.
"Some things never change."
Smiling back at her at first I wanted to laugh with her but the knowledge of how much had changed between us dampened the moment for me.
"Do you want a ride home?"
Her smile faded.
"I guess, if you're ready to go."
She seemed disappointed.
I felt the smile return to my face as I assured, "We can hang out here, if you want."
Tansy's smile softened as she looked me over and headed back toward the blanket.
It took me a minute to follow. I wrestled with the idea that she was checking me out before walking away. Maybe I should have taken my shirt off three days ago.
Sitting on the blanket, running her fingers through her wet hair, she complained, "Ugh, I left my purse in Palmer's car."
Watching her as I sat down, I couldn't shake the thought that she was messing with her hair on purpose. Her back was arched and her head tilted back with each swipe of her fingers. I wasn't going to be able to keep sitting there next to her if she kept it up.
"Do you want to try again?" she questioned without looking at me.
I was nowhere near the right frame of mind to answer that question.
Shifting herself toward me, she laughed, "You're so moody."
"Oh, the friendship thing?"
Raising her eyebrows, she nodded before picking up her water bottle and taking a drink.
"You're going to have to put on more clothes if you want us to be friends."
Please tell me I did not say that out loud...
Tansy glanced off to the side before suggesting, "I think we should talk about what happened."
Damn it.
"No need, I'm cool with us being friends."
"First, it's just you and me out here."
Not helping.
"I said, I'm fine with us being friends," I snapped at her while scooting an inch or two away.
It was enough to have the memory. I didn't need to relive it with her.
Tansy's hand touched my shoulder and I felt as if time stopped. I saw her mouth moving but the sound of her voice was washed out by the memory that replayed in my head.
Leaning forward, I placed a soft kiss against her lips. I opened my eyes just in time to see hers flutter open.
"Kiss me again," she encouraged, sliding her arms around my waist.
This time, I didn't question it. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her like she was the only girl in the entire word.
Her eyes searched mine as I realized she was waiting for me to answer a question I didn't hear her ask.
"I'm sorry what?"
She looked down slowly, shaking her head.
"Sorry, I was..."
Sliding her hand off my shoulder and down my arm, she scooted closer, asking, "Why do you seem so guilty when you look at me?"
"Because I am," I replied, feeling my will hanging by a thread as I looked down at her.
Her voice was soft and her lips appeared even softer as she questioned, "What are you guilty of?"
I felt the words, "Wanting you," roll off my tongue as I slowly reached over and placed my hand against her cheek.
Her lips parted. I think she was about to say something, but it was invitation enough for me.
Kissing her was like the breath you take before leaping into the unknown, full of fear and anticipation. I'd kissed a few girls before her and more after but none of them made me feel the way kissing her did. My fingers tangled in her wet hair as I slid my hand to the back of her head. The sound of a soft moan stifled by our kiss heightened the moment provoking me to wrap my other hand around her waist and pull her closer. Tansy's hands slid up my chest before she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself onto my lap. My thighs ached as her wet bikini bottoms soaked through the front of my trunks. Grabbing hold of her hips to keep her rubbing against me to a minimum, my mind shifted into overdrive thinking of every scenario I could come up with to make what I needed to happen next possible.
"The water."
Tansy's eyes fluttered open. She appeared lost as she breathed in and out through her mouth.
Unable to resist, I pulled her bottom lip between my lips before suggesting, "Let's go to the water."
Closing her eyes, she slid her arms from around my neck and leaned her forehead to my shoulder.
"Tansy?"
She shook her head and started to pull away from me whispering, "I can’t do this."
What in the actual hell?
Maybe I was rushing things? That didn't change the fact that I needed to feel her against me.
My muscles tensed into a slow burn as I held on to her. "Don't say that."
"I wasn't expecting you to kiss me," she replied with an expression that brought every bit of guilt I had in me to the surface.
"I'm sorry."
Tansy closed her eyes, wrinkled up her nose and shook her head before pushing off from my chest and standing up.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
Without a word, she picked up her cover-up and took off towards the car.
Chapter Six
After I dropped Tansy off at our grandparent's house, I drove around town for a while trying to clear my head. She was doing a real number on me and I needed time to myself to sort things out. When it was clear I was getting nowhere, I headed home. All I wanted was to be alone but as soon as I walked in my parent's house, I was blindsided by my sister.
"Took you long enough."
I just stared at her.
"Everyone's already on their way and I'm not waiting on you."
"What?"
"Movie night."
For the love of God...
Once a month, Wren hosted movie night at our house. It started when we were kids. All of us huddled up in the living room, watching scary movies because you know there's safety in numbers. Thinking about it now, it already sounded like the beginnings of a nightmare.
Halfway through the movie, I started to feel myself dozing off. Tansy was back to ignoring me, I hadn't had much sleep since coming home and, to be honest, the movie Wren picked was pretty lame.
"I'm going to bed," I shared as I stood up and stretched my arms over my head.
Wren laughed, asking, "What's the matter? You scared?"
"Terrified," I sarcastically replied as I stepped over Roe, who was lying across the floor, and headed into the kitchen.
Joie was right behind me as I flipped the light on.
"How's your hand?"
With a slight pout, she replied, "I got six stitches and an antibiotic. Palmer talked mess the whole way home."
"Ya damn right I did!" Palmer shouted from
the living room. "You're lucky it wasn't worse."
Sticking her tongue out at him, she made a face to go along with it before walking to the fridge.
"Can you still play?" I asked as she handed me a water bottle and grabbed one for herself.
Frowning, she shrugged her shoulder. "Not for a few weeks."
"That sucks."
Nodding, she headed back into the living room.
I was about to shut the light off when I glanced in Tansy's direction and noticed her wiping her eyes. It looked like she was crying. My gut told me to walk back into the living room and check on her while my brain reminded me I was only going to make things worse. Then, in an uncharacteristic show of compassion, my sister of all peopled slid down off of the couch and put her arm around Tansy as she sat next to her on the floor. I continued to watch them for a minute until I saw Wren whisper something in her ear that made her laugh. Slapping the light switch down, I headed to my room.
Joie comforting her I could understand, it seemed like they really bonded since she came back, but my sister? And why was she crying in the first place? She was the one who stopped us this afternoon, claiming she didn't expect me to kiss her. That's not something you wait to say until the person's lap you're sitting on is ready to explode. And she called me moody? Fine, maybe I was, but she was crazy if she thought she could pretend to want to be friends and then keep dangling herself in front of me.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, it took about ten minutes for me to decide that if she was here then I wasn't going to be. I got up, grabbed my wallet and keys off my dresser and walked out of my room.
"Where are you going?" Wren questioned as I made my way to the front door.
"Out," I blurted, knowing she was still sitting next to Tansy and determined to keep my focus leaving.
"Out where?"
Good question.
With no place in particular in mind, I ended up siting on a stool at The Dog House, my family's bar.
The Dog House had been in my family for generations and I was the first Augustus to give up the bartender title for an English Major. My dad was never hard to talk to. Mom always said it was the bartender in him. When I broke the news, it was the first time I could remember being afraid to have a conversation with him. I really thought I was letting him down but it turned out that he was proud of me.