by Claire Adams
"It wasn't about the money, Maddie." He pulled his hand from mine, and my heart dropped.
He wasn't going to let me back in. No matter how he felt about me, about us. No matter what his mother would have wanted for him. It wasn't about just finding love, but about being with someone that would have his back, would rub his shoulders and love on him when the world turned dark.
It's what we all wanted in life. There was no way that Gavin didn't want it too. Some part of me prayed that he would find it with me, but if he didn't, I just wanted him to be happy with someone.
"It was about the message behind it, and not that my reasons change anything, but you have to know that I'd trade every cent you paid me to have you instead."
His eyes widened a little, and his shoulders pulled back. "Seriously?"
"Absolutely. One hundred percent." I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to shiver. It was getting colder by the minute. "Take the money out of my account, or what's left of it. I might have bought groceries and gas once." I tilted my head to the side, half-expecting him to smile, but I got nothing out of him.
"And this is because you feel guilty?" He nodded toward his mother's grave.
"No." I took a shallow breath. "Well, yes, of course, I do, but this is more than that. I didn't need the money. I needed you. I want whatever was building between us more than I want security or a hand up or a career in California." I risked it and reached out, touching the side of his face.
He pressed against my hand, cupping his hand over mine as he turned and kissed my palm. The warmth of his lips lit me on fire.
"Please forgive me." I pulled back and took the ring off. "And here. Take this back, too. I want to start fresh from the beginning."
He started to respond, but I lifted my hand and shook my head. "No. Don't say anything now. Please. I don't want you to talk out of anger or loss. I need you to think about what we had there near the end. That was me. Fully me. Completely and totally in love with you."
He glanced down at the ring and back up to me. "You sure about this?"
"Positive. Call me if you decide you want to try again, and know that if you don't, I'm praying you find a woman worthy of you." I moved closer and kissed his cheek. "It sure as hell isn't me, but sometimes the underdog pulls through."
I turned and walked to my car as tears dripped down my cheeks. Ron called out to me, but I waved at him and got in my old clunker, trying to start it three times before it finally purred to life.
There would be other ways to get myself out of the financial situation that I was in. I could get a few extra jobs, non-modeling jobs to try and get my shit together. And maybe if I worked hard at being more authentic and stopped trying to stage my pictures and look perfect all the fucking time, maybe people would like me for who I was. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to become famous.
Besides, it's not like I was going to be able to keep up the bullshit act forever. I was exhausted already, and life had just started.
I pulled out of the parking lot, glancing back in time to see Gavin lift his hand and blow me a kiss.
Rolling down my window, I stuck my hand out of it and pretended to catch the kiss. He had no idea how sorry I was. How much I would give it all back to have him beside me.
I picked up my phone and called my mom, knowing Nancie was most likely busy
"Hi, baby. What are you up to?"
"Just leaving the funeral." I turned onto the freeway and pressed the phone between my cheek and shoulder. "I need to tell you and Dad something."
"Alright." She sounded worried. She should be. I was a liar.
My phone buzzed, and I pulled it away from my ear to see that it was a text from Gavin. It only had three words.
Dinner. Tomorrow Night.
There wasn't a question mark, and for some odd reason, that turned me on so much. He wanted to see me again, and if I knew him well enough, he would be full of piss and vinegar when we met up. With so many things going on in his life, he'd want me underneath him, moaning and squirming as he took out his aggression on my body.
My nipples budded as an ache raced through the center of my body.
"Maddie?" My mom said. "I have you on speaker. What did you need to tell us?"
I got choked up. "I just wanted you to both know how much I love you. I'm sorry I give you hell sometimes. It won't happen again. You know what's best for you, and whatever that is, I'm behind you. Please don't change a bit. You're special and give me something to hope for one day in my own marriage."
My mom sniffled as my dad's voice filled the line. "Ahh... sweetheart. Did the funeral upset you?"
"It was rough," I said and pulled off the freeway, heading back to my lonely apartment. I'd have given a few teeth for Gavin to demand to see me later that night, but this was for the best. He needed his space, and we had to start from the beginning to make sure that both of us wanted whatever outcome we ended up with.
"Well, we love you too, baby." My mom came back on the line. "How is Gavin? Is he with you?"
"He had a rough time with it, Mom. He's headed home with Ron. I think he wanted some time with his best friend, and I was more than happy to move out of the way."
"Hmmm... seems odd seeing that you're his wife." My mother's voice tightened.
"No, it's hard for him to cry in front of me, and he needs to let some emotions go, you know? This marriage was fast and furious, and where it's the best thing that's ever happened to me, we still have a lot of bonding to do." I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment and turned off the car. "I'm going to let you go. I love you both. Thanks again for being so great."
"Be safe and let us know if you need anything."
We hung up, and I got out of the car, working through all of the thoughts racing through my head. It was going to be okay either way.
I was sure of it.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Gavin
"Just chill." I finished buttoning my shirt as I checked myself out in my bathroom mirror. "You've already slept with her, been on several dates with her, mom loved her... you're good. For fuck's sake, you married her."
I laughed at that and brushed my hand down my face. The shit me and Maddie had been through over the last couple of weeks would forever stain my heart. It was the beginning of what I could tell was going to be a really long love story.
I could almost see myself sitting on the porch with our kids, telling them how their rotten-ass momma sucked half a million dollars out of my bank account before we were even married.
She would roll her eyes, sit in my lap, and twist the tale all the way around. Which was fine. I didn't care, as long as she was in my future.
I'd laid in bed the night before, yearning for her in a way I hadn't wanted anyone. Anger and loss and sadness could fuck off for the time being. I needed a clear head to make sure when we started over again, it was one hundred percent authentic.
Get the tie. The gray one. It looks so good on you, and gray goes with everything. I could hear mom's voice in my head, the words so familiar they felt like coming home.
I walked to the closet and got one of my gray ties before putting it on and checking myself one more time. We could grab something to eat and then head back to the house to talk. Maybe more than talk if she wanted me. I knew I wanted her… so damn bad it hurt.
I got in the car and drove toward her apartment, my heart racing in my chest. Was she being serious at the gravesite the day before? How could she not be?
She was a free woman and had no reason in hell to offer herself up to me. There wasn't an evil scheme or vendetta behind her words. She was laying herself out there for me to accept or reject.
"She's way more brave than you," I mumbled to myself and pulled up into the parking lot at her apartment. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to get my thoughts together.
My phone buzzed, and I looked down to see that it was her. She wanted to know what time I would be there.
I got out of the car and jogged up to
her door, knocking softly.
She opened the door, wearing a white cotton dress and flats. Her hair was down, and she wore the same soft colors she wore at our wedding.
I gave her a cocky grin and moved back. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks." She walked out and turned, locking the door.
I reached out and ran my hands down the sides of her arms before stepping closer and leaning down to kiss the soft skin beneath her ear. "Can we start with me apologizing?"
"Not a chance in hell." She turned around and slid her hands up my chest, locking them behind my neck. "We both owe each other a round of apologies, but do-overs don't work like that. Everything that wasn't right is behind us now. All we have is the future and the memory of the great parts of what we just went through."
"Like you sucking me off in the shower?" I tightened my arms around her waist.
"And you renting out the hibachi grill?" She pressed against me, her eyes filled with one thing: love.
"And the way you made my mother light up. She loved it every time you visited."
"And she was proud of you for being the man you are." She pulled me down and brushed her nose by mine. "I'm proud of you for being you."
"Good, but flattery will get you nowhere, Gold Digger." I nipped at her lips and moved back to take her hand. "Dinner and then back to the house for dessert?"
"Depends on what dessert is." She tucked herself against my side as we walked to the car.
"Something with nuts, I'm sure."
She yelped and swatted at me. "Gavin!"
"I meant like peanuts. Jeez, woman. You love peanut butter, right?" I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and walked her to her side of the car, opening the door and helping her into the car.
I walked around to my side, feeling like a million dollars. The woman could have every penny Dad left me if she just stayed by my side and loved me until I left the earth.
"What do you feel like?" I got in and buckled up.
"You." She reached over and ran her hand up my thigh, squeezing my cock as she licked her lips. "Is that on the menu?"
"Sure is." I reached over and slid my hand into her hair before moving toward her. I pressed my lips to hers and made love to her mouth as she squirmed in her seat. The smell of her soap mixed with a hint of arousal had my mouth watering, my cock rock hard. "I don't want this to just be sex between us."
She laughed loudly, surprising me a little. "I think that's supposed to be my line."
"You? No way." I moved back into my seat and gripped her hand to keep her from distracting me too much. "You like sex way too much."
"So do you, Mister."
I glanced over at her. "Hell, yes, I do. But only with you."
"Let's go back to your place and make sandwiches. I don't want to go out."
"You got all dressed up. I'm taking you out."
"I got dressed up for you, Gavin. And I'd like to get undressed for you, now. Don't deny me. Please?" She tugged her hand from mine and reached over to stroke my erection. "We can eat after we make love."
Make love. The sound of it coming from her lips had my insides doing flip flops. I felt like a silly school boy, all wrapped up in what we could become and who she would grow to be in my life.
"Alright, but let's share a glass of wine before you start your seduction games." I smiled over at her as she gave me hell about all of my comments toward her for the rest of the ride home.
By the time we pulled up in front of the house, my body was screaming for release. She'd done just about everything possible to have me aching for her. I half-expected her to crawl over into the seat with me as I parked the car, but she got out and walked toward the house, shaking her fine ass the way I loved to see her shake it.
"What about California?" I got out of the car and leaned against the open door. "You still wanting to hop the next flight out of here?"
"That depends." She tilted her head to the side and took small steps backward.
"On what?" I shut the door and walked toward her slowly, stalking her like she was my prey.
The sexy smile on her mouth had my pulse racing, and I knew we might make love later in the night, but I needed to press her against a hard surface and pound into her tight body for a little while before we slowed things down.
"On you." She turned and walked to the house, stopping in front of the door and turning to face me. "And I want you to take your money back. I'm not taking no for an answer."
I jogged up the stairs and pulled her into my arms. "No means no. Stop telling me what to do. It's only going to end with you naked and laying across my legs."
"With you spanking me?"
"Among other things." I slid my fingers into her hair and tightened my grip on the silky locks, pulling a little as I pressed my tongue deep into her mouth.
She slid greedy hands down my back and cupped my ass, kneading it as she whimpered against my lips.
I pulled back. "You're keeping the money, Maddie. Don't bring it up again."
"And if I do?" She looked like an angel in the devil's disguise.
"Then you don't get any spankings. Period."
"My lips are sealed. Now... take me inside and make me your dinner."
"Yes." I pushed the door open behind her and picked her up, walking toward the kitchen. I put her down and pointed to the dining room table. "Clear it off and get on it. On your back. Naked."
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Maddie
I walked to the table, pulling off various pieces of clothes as I went. I’d have done anything he wanted me to that night.
I’d laid back and stretched out across the table, naked and trying not to shiver thanks to the chilly night outside. My nipples ached for his mouth to cover them, for his tongue to play games and leave me panting for more.
“Fuck me,” he mumbled and moved up to the table, reaching for me and pulling me down to the edge. Strong fingers pressed into my thighs as he ran his hands up, brushing by my hips and over my stomach. “So beautiful, Maddie.” He cupped my breasts and leaned down, licking at my flesh as he rolled his hips and massaged my center with his thick shaft.
“You’re such a tease,” I whispered and reached down to slide my fingers through his hair, tugging a little.
He growled and looked up. “Be careful, woman.”
“Or?” I smiled and arched my back, crying out in pleasure as he pressed his cock just inside of me, pumping his hips and playing with me.
“Of course you want to know what would happen.” He laughed and pulled me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around his taut waist. “How do you have me falling for you? I shouldn’t want anything from you. You know that?”
“I do,” I whimpered against his neck and held on tightly as I inched down, pressing myself farther and farther down his erection until I hit home. “I’m so grateful you do. You don’t know what you mean to me, Gavin.”
“I actually do.” He ran his hand down the back of my head, the other cupped around my ass as he totted me toward the bedroom. “You told me at the graveside. Remember?”
I nodded and leaned in, kissing him with all the passion I had locked up inside of me. I wanted to drown him in something so much better than lust. I wanted to show him just how much I loved him, but how?
“Make love to me,” I whispered in his ear and ran my nails down his back as I pressed my breasts to his chest.
“Every time you let me.” He laid me down on the bed and crawled up on it with me, forcing my legs open with his knee as he moved into position. “I could stare at you all night.”
“I’d be okay with that.” I reached up and grabbed the sides of his thick neck, pulling him down to kiss me.
He reached between us while our tongue tangled in my mouth and gripped his cock, leading himself back inside of me. We cried out together from the tension of having him stretch me open so damn good.
“You’re everything I want in this bed.” He tucked his face against my neck and slid his hands between me an
d the bed, cupping my ass softly as he rocked back and forth against my body. Pleasure beat its rhythm deep inside my stomach, and I lifted my legs a little, wanting every inch of him tucked inside of me.
“I need this.” I licked the side of his neck as he lifted up and gripped the headboard, working me a little harder and faster. The well-developed muscles of his chest and stomach flexed, and I couldn’t help but reach up and run my hand down his torso. “I need you.”
“And you have me, baby.” He bit his lip and slowed for a second, the vein on the side of his neck beating wildly. “Just take good advantage of it.”
“Just not of you.” I smiled and lifted my hips, meeting him stroke for stroke. “Go get a condom, Gavin.”
“Yeah. In a minute.” He thrust again and groaned, his legs shaking as he held himself up. “Alright. Let me get it now. I’m not going to last much longer with you. I’ve been thinking about making love to you for too long.”
“I like the sound of that.” I waited until he moved off the top of me to roll over and move to my knees. I pressed my ass back onto my heels and waited until he walked back in. He tugged at the condom and scowled.
“They never make these fucking things big enough. I feel like it’s going to cut off circulation.” He got on the bed and reached for me. “Your turn.”
“I agree.” I climbed onto his lap, lifting up and shifting forward so I could position us right. I pressed back, taking his cock inside of me and pushing hard. One strong thrust and he was lodged inside of me, his body swelling as it stretched me.
“That’s it. Take your time, Maddie.” He reached up and ran his hands up my sides, cupping my breasts and flicking his thumbs over my nipples. He moved up to his elbows, and the position intensified the pressure on my clit.
I moaned loudly and gripped his shoulders to get more traction. The worry that he would look at me like a whore faded fast, and I moved up and bounced on his cock, enjoying the delicious sounds and smells of our sex. He popped in and out of me, lighting me on fire and leaving my heart to race.