Always Her Cowboys

by Jan Springer

  Everyone’s gaze snapped to Blue and she looked a bit embarrassed at having everyone’s attention to her.

  “You want to start a sheep ranch?” Kaley asked.

  “When did this happen?” Kelly questioned.

  “Oops, you haven’t mentioned it to anyone? Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything?” Dan replied.

  Blue shook her head. “It’s okay, Dan. Yes, I am still thinking about it. I just haven’t had the time to do any snooping around myself. And with my daughter…well, actually she’s two now and quite a handful with her getting into everything.”

  “I can babysit her, Blue, if you need to look around for possible places,” JJ offered.

  “And I can babysit too. You know how much I love Ivy. Oh, guys she is so cute,” Kelly gushed.

  “I can volunteer for babysitting duty too, Blue. Just ask,” Kaley said as she leaned forward. It appeared all the girls were quite interested in Blue’s idea.

  “There you go, Blue. No more excuses,” Kaley said with a wink. “If it is something you want to do, then you should go for it.”

  Blue smiled and JJ could see the twinkle of excitement in Blue’s eyes. JJ recognized that look. It was the same kind of expression she’d seen in the mirror when JJ had finally decided that despite her own mental health issues, she would learn how to fly a bush plane.

  The men, until now, had remained quiet.

  Mitch was the first to break the silence.

  “Living out here in the wilderness on your own with a little one, would be a lot of hard work. I should know about children…” Mitch gave a nod to Paul and then to Daegen.

  “Hey! Not funny!” Paul said with a laugh as he got Mitch’s meaning that Paul and Daegen were kids.

  Daegen picked up a pillow and plowed it into Mitch’s face. Mitch grabbed the cushion and pressed it to his belly and howled with laughter.

  JJ smiled at their easygoing manner.

  Even Brady got in on the action from where he sat beside Mitch on the sofa. He got up, curled his elbow around Mitch’s neck and squeezed. She hoped Brady was embracing him gently because she didn’t want any corpses in the living room.

  “Hey! Quit making fun of your friends,” Brady complained.

  Mitch’s face grew red as he continued to laugh. Alarm raced through JJ.

  “Brady, you’ll hurt him,” she gasped.

  Brady caught JJ’s gaze and winked.

  “His face always does that when he laughs. You should have seen him when we were kids and something sad was going on with one of my brothers or sisters. Mom or dad would only have to get Mitch laughing and everyone one would join in.”

  JJ looked around at the group and to her surprise they were all laughing too. She was the only one who was concerned.

  Oh boy, she had to loosen up! She wanted to have fun too!

  Sure enough, Mitch’s deep belly laugh rocked through JJ and before long, she was brushing away tears and holding her sweet baby belly.

  “You know, Blue,” Rafe said after the laughter finally died away. “When you get that ranch, give Brady’s sister, Jenna, a call. She can hook you up with a cowboy or two to help you out at the ranch. She’s got that Cowboys Online business that she runs. Help through her organization is less expensive because of the applicant’s circumstances, and Jenna does a great vetting job.”

  Rafe looked over at JJ and the warmth shining in his eyes for her, made warmth and happiness bubble up inside of her.

  “Although we asked for cowboys, we got JJ and she’s the best cowgirl we could ever have asked for,” Rafe said softly. “I don’t know how Jenna knew it, but somehow she knew JJ belonged with us.”

  The group had grown quiet now and suddenly all eyes were on JJ.

  Oh dear, she could feel her cheeks warming up. Did they know she was sleeping with all three of her sexy cowboys?

  “Hey, you’re embarrassing my baby mamma,” Brady said as he let Mitch go and gave JJ an endearing grin.

  “Let’s get back to the topic about a possible ranch for Blue,” Paul replied.

  Thankfully the focus went back to Blue and everyone began discussing her avenues for achieving her goals, that is, if she did decide to try her hand at ranching.

  Later, the topic of Christmas presents came up. Rafe suggested that maybe they should open the presents their guests had brought? But their guests wouldn’t allow it, stating presents would only be opened at Christmas time.

  Then suddenly JJ felt tired. It had been a long day and tonight had turned out even better than she had hoped. She gazed over at the wall clock and was stunned to discover the time was one a.m.

  How was that possible? It felt as if they had just had supper at six and now it was so late. No wonder she was tired. She hid a yawn by covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

  “Someone needs to be tucked into bed,” Brady suddenly said as she caught his knowing gaze.

  Man! Nothing gets by him.

  There came a round of gasps and comments about how fast the time was flying when one was having fun. Despite JJ, Rafe, Dan and Brady insisting they all spend the night, the happy six said they would carry on with the party on the plane and they began singing more Christmas songs as they headed down the hallway to put on their coats.

  In the mudroom, JJ gave them all cookie tins of Christmas cake and other cookies that she had put together for each of them to take home. Then came goodbye hugs and Brady, Dan and Rafe shook hands with the men and gave the women hugs, thanking them all for coming. After calling out a final round of goodbyes, JJ, Rafe, Brady and Dan watched the six people leave the warmth of the building. Cold air blasted into the mudroom and Rafe quickly closed the door after the last of the group left the building.

  The guys scraped circles into the frost that laced the windows allowing them all to see outside. When the departing guests’ laughter rang into the mudroom, happiness surged in JJ’s heart. Wow, they all had had a lovely time and they had gotten to know one another.

  Thankfully the snow had stopped falling, and a full moon shone bright and white, high in the black sky, allowing JJ to see the plane on the lake. The newly fallen snow sparkled like tons of diamonds had been spilled everywhere and she watched as Blue, Kelly and Kaley did a circle safety check of the plane and then everyone climbed inside.

  The red and green navigation lights near the edges of the wing tips flashed on. Other lights on various parts of the plane followed and she could also hear the roar of the engine. She felt that familiar yearning to go up into the sky in her own plane as she watched the plane start forward. That desire of freedom flying had only grown with every passing day since she’d been grounded.

  The plane picked up speed as it headed down the lake. The skis moved easily over the ice and moments later the plane was airborne, soaring into the moon-brightened sky. Then they were gone and today suddenly seemed as if it had just been a lovely dream.

  “This was fun,” Dan said from behind her. He swept his hand against her lower back as they continued to stand at the door window of the mudroom.

  JJ leaned against him and inhaled softly. Dan smelled nice. Of pine and a hint of wood smoke, probably because he’d been tossing pine logs into the fireplace all evening long. She felt peaceful and loved in the gentle caring way he curled against her back and snuggled his bristly cheek against her cheek.

  A string of hoots from an owl snapped through the quietness and JJ laughed as she remembered the excitement of everyone when they’d told her they’d seen the elusive Great Grey owl sitting on her laundry post.

  “I think they enjoyed themselves,” she said with a grin.

  “They sure did. We’ll clean up everywhere, and Dan, you tuck JJ into bed,” Brady ordered.

  “And make sure she gets lots of sleep,” Rafe said from behind her.

  It was Dan’s turn sleeping with JJ tonight and she knew by the way his eyelids drooped ever so slightly, that sleep was all the two of them, plus baby, would be getting.

  Yes, i
t had been a wonderful party and JJ knew that she had just started a tradition here at Moose Ranch. Plans were already forming in her mind about next year’s party.

  She could hardly wait!

  Chapter Five

  The next day JJ had little problem getting back into her regular routine. Especially since she’d had a such great night’s sleep spooned around Dan’s ultra-warm body. Despite the nagging little backache that seemed constant now, she felt well-rested and upon stumbling out of bed, having a shower, and then getting dressed, she discovered all three men had already headed out for work, leaving her a note of each of their exact locations.

  They’d also left her a generous helping of scrambled eggs and sausages that only needed to be warmed up in the microwave. All the dishes, pots and pans had been washed and put away and the stove and countertops gleamed with cleanliness. No one would have guessed they’d had such a large gathering last night because Brady and Dan had done an excellent job in cleaning up and freezing the leftovers from dinner. Not that there had been much left over, but today she would make them some hearty turkey soup using the bones and some meat and she would add some of their garden vegetables that were stored in the cool cellar.

  As she sat at the dining table, drinking her second cup of coffee, her gaze drew to the sunshine flooding into the living room and over their cute, huge Christmas tree. She remembered the first Christmas she’d spent here at the ranch and a sudden burst of heat flooded her cheeks.

  Oh my, she had been bold back then, hadn’t she? Taking turns sleeping with three men and not feeling shame. Everything had happened so naturally, and she’d just gone with her feelings in loving them and having them make love to her. Then on Christmas day, she’d experienced her first ménage and she’d known that she didn’t want to live any other way than to be here with the three of them.

  Now she was having a baby of her very own. She squealed happily and hugged her belly and a wonderful inner affection for her baby flooded her. She closed her eyes and just listened to the quietness of the ranch house. The gentle tic toc of the wall clock, her quiet breathing, and the chatter of a squirrel from somewhere outside the kitchen window.

  I am having a baby.

  It was just all surreal. She couldn’t wait to meet her child. Although she had been talking to her baby over the months, she couldn’t help wondering all the time if she’d be a girl? Or a boy? Would he or she be healthy? And how in the world was she going to be able to keep her anxiety under control if something bad ever happened to her baby? A burst of panic snapped into her peace and JJ forced herself to control her breathing.

  Okay, calm down. This not a time for a panic attack.

  JJ shook her head. As if she could control her attacks all of the time. Sometimes they just happened, and she had to deal with them. But right now, housework and cooking needed to be done and that’s when she remembered the letter Blue had mentioned. The one from Milena.

  A moment later, JJ was rummaging through the presents and drew out the bundle of bills and letters that Blue had said was tucked at the bottom of one of the bags. She slumped onto the lounge chair in the living room and quickly sorted the bills from the letters, setting them into different piles on the coffee table. There were bills for feed, medical supplies for the cattle, parts for the tractors and atvs, other invoices and then a statement for a good amount of money that had been deposited into the business bank account. Money that the guys had been waiting for from the largest purchaser of their cattle. There was going to be some celebrating in the ranch house tonight, she was sure.

  There also were letters and what she figured where Christmas cards from family and friends to Brady, Dan and Rafe and the one letter from Milena to JJ.

  Brady had put in a call to his sister, Jenna, requesting Milena as help over the Christmas holidays and to assist JJ with the baby, but Jenna had informed them that the programs the convicts were involved in would not allow an ex-con to be near a baby. Since Milena was the only woman JJ wanted here with her as help, JJ had dropped the idea and decided she would care for the baby herself and carry on with household chores on her own. Other mothers did it and so could she.

  The guys, thankfully had not argued with her decision. Not too much anyway.

  As she held Milena’s letter, JJ gazed up at the kitchen window sill. A lovely gold rock sparkled there in the sunshine. The rock had been a present from Milena on her last day here.

  She still remembered the words Milena had said to her.

  You are precious just like gold. You are tough and beautiful. I want you to think of me whenever you look at this rock. Remember me, JJ because I will never forget you. The first chance I get, I’ll come and visit.

  The return address on the letter was from the penitentiary where Milena currently resided. Sadness clutched at JJ. Milena still had a few years left on her sentence, unless Jenna’s Cowboys Online program was able to place her somewhere just as JJ had been placed here.

  Damn! Milena was a good person, despite her troubled past. JJ had experienced her caring nature first hand while they’d been in the same prison.

  JJ shook the memories away. No, she didn’t want to think about her years of incarceration. It always brought her into a bad moody state and she didn’t want to do that to her baby. JJ ripped open the envelope and withdrew the single sheet of white lined paper.

  She smiled as she recognized Milena’s feminine handwriting. The letter was dated two weeks ago.

  As she began to read, she could almost feel Milena’s warm embrace envelope her.

  Merry Christmas to Moose Ranch! And especially to you, dear Jennifer Jane and to your beautiful coming soon baby.

  Have you picked a name? Will s/he be a boy? Or a girl? Or maybe you’ll be surprised by twins?

  JJ laughed out loud at that last question.

  Oh no, one baby at a time for her. Thank you very much.

  Hey, don’t laugh. Doctors aren’t always right and sometimes mothers are surprised. Sorry I haven’t written but I ended up in solitary when I got back to prison.

  Solitary! Milena? No way. Concern gripped JJ. She continued to read.

  After experiencing the peace and quiet over at your ranch, I couldn’t get used to the noise of the inmates. So, I finally got myself into some minor trouble. Picked a fight with an inmate and well, I got solitary and I loved it.

  JJ shook her head and couldn’t believe what Milena was telling her. When she’d been here, she’d told JJ that the quietness of the ranch and surroundings had just about drove her crazy.

  No worries. I am back in general population and back to being a good little inmate so I am sending you, Brady, Rafe, Dan and your sweet baby, best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

  Until we meet again, I send you many hugs!

  Always,

  Milena

  JJ frowned as she read the letter a couple more times and then slid it back into the envelope. Why did life have to be so unfair? Why did nice people do such bad things and have to be locked away for so long? And why did some bad people manage to stay out of prison?

  Then JJ brightened at her next thought. Maybe Milena would get lucky just like JJ had? Maybe God was putting Milena through this brutality, so she would appreciate something better that came her way in the future?

  JJ squared her shoulders and nodded. She had to remain positive that Milena would some day get her happily ever after too. In the meantime, she needed to get moving. Household chores needed to be done and she had to get started on gathering the items for tonight’s meal because her men would be very hungry when they came home for supper.

  The next few days flew past so quickly that before JJ knew it, it was Christmas Eve evening and as she removed a roast from the oven, that weird little pain that had been niggling at her lower back over the past week, suddenly grew into a wicked spasm that had her gasping from the intensity.

  Oh shoot! This is a hell of a time to throw out my back.

  “JJ? What’s wro
ng?” Dan asked as he strolled into the kitchen and caught her grimacing and pressing her hand to the small of her back. The last three days, the guys had started taking turns staying closer to the ranch house. JJ had told them she was fine but secretly she was grateful not to be alone because her anxiety was starting to climb. But she hid it from the men. She didn’t want to stress them out. They had enough worries with all the work they had with the ranch.

  Today had been Dan’s turn to stay close and she was thankful he’d spent the day doing chores in the barn, cutting firewood out near the sawmill, and he’d also helped her with dusting and vacuuming this morning.

  “I pulled a muscle. I’m sure it will be fine. Just remove the roast and set it on the counter, would you?” she asked. She’d left the pot sitting on the rack and the oven was wide open letting out all the heat.

  “Sure thing, baby. Then we’ll pack some ice onto your back. Man, I told you to call me when you wanted that roast out. You shouldn’t be lifting anything,” he chastised.

  JJ nodded numbly as the pain suddenly began to radiate into her front.

  “Oh,” she cried out as panic snapped through her and she clutched her tummy. Had something happened to the baby?

  Dan frowned and quickly moved to stand beside her.

  “What’s the matter? You don’t look so good. Is the baby coming?”

  Confusion gripped her. The baby. Was the baby coming? Maybe she hadn’t pulled a muscle in her back? Or maybe she had and now the baby wanted out?

  Her hands shook as she stared down at them. The pain ebbed away, and JJ breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Maybe a false alarm?” she answered.

  Please be a false alarm.

  Her panic edged up a notch. Oh Lord, she wasn’t ready to give birth.

  Oh, what have I done? I can’t take care of a wee helpless baby out here in the middle of nowhere.

  “Just sit down and breathe like the online Lamaze program showed us. Remember what we learned?” Dan replied as he slid his hand against her lower back and guided her to a dining room chair. He didn’t appear to be stressed out at all that she might be going into labor.