by Carl Weber
“Okay. Baby, I’m sorry.”
Jay’s hands gently cupped my face again. This time his lips caressed my cheeks. He kissed my forehead, my nose, down to my lips and my neck. Patiently he undressed me, laid me on the bed, and gave me what I’d come for…my G-spot orgasm.
As I climbed on top of Jay, neither of us asked about a condom. Secretly I hoped we’d get pregnant for sure this time and start our own family. “Come with me, baby,” I whispered in Jay’s ear, grinding my pussy into his pelvis.
Holding my ass in the palm of his hands, Jay moaned in my ear, “Tracy, I love you, baby.”
No, he didn’t!
“What the hell did you just say?” I demanded, slapping Jay in the chest.
“I said, ‘Ashlee, I love you.’ What the hell is your problem?”
“That’s not what you said, Jay.” I sat beside Jay, waiting for a response.
“Then tell me. What did I say?”
“You called me Tracy.”
“Don’t be crazy. I’d never call you Tracy.”
“Well, you just did. You still love her, don’t you?”
“Yes, but not like I love you. She’s my baby’s mother, for God’s sake. I’ll always love her. But you are the one I want to be with. What more do I have to do to prove my love for you?”
“You can start by not calling me Tracy, ever again.”
That was a demand, not a request.
CHAPTER 19
Jay
It felt good to be back in the Big Apple again. New York City had almost everything near and dear to me—my two girls, my friends, and my parents. The only thing it didn’t have was Ashlee, Jason, and Tracy. Over all, my frequent visits were mainly to spend time with my girls. It had been a month since the last time I’d seen them, but I made sure to make up for lost time. The girls and I took advantage of doing things they don’t normally get to do, like seeing the Lion King play on Broadway, dinner at a fancy restaurant, and shopping. Boy, did my girls love shopping! I think they got that from their mother.
I’d promised Kyle I’d spend my last night in town over at his place with him and my boys Allen and Wil before Ashlee and I headed to the islands. When I got there we hung out in his billiard room drinking beer and talking shit. Kyle had ordered ribs and wings from the rib shack on Linden Boulevard. I was ready to kick Allen’s and Wil’s butts at a game of pool like I’d always do when I visited. Kyle was a different story, though. He actually played pool pretty good.
Kyle greeted me at the door with a beer. “Man, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you’ve lost weight since I seen you last,” he said.
I slid my hands down my sides and rubbed my chest. “Huh? What’re you talking about, Kyle? I just seen you like last week. I look that bad since then?”
“Not bad…just, just different. You sure everything is all right?” he asked, as he closed the door.
We headed toward the billiard room. “I’m cool. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t be better. I just won a hundred dollars on a scratch-off, I’m about to kick Wil’s and Allen’s butts in some pool, so I can take their money, and tomorrow I’m taking my baby, Ashlee, on an exotic vacation to Jamaica. So yeah, I’m pretty good.”
“I guess you really are okay then, huh?”
“Oh yeah. And I forgot to mention me and the girls had a great time, too. I really appreciate those tickets to the Lion King. They loved it. And I never thought they’d enjoy sightseeing and shopping so much.”
“C’mon now. They’re girls, aren’t they? What female you know don’t love to shop?” He laughed.
“You got a point there, bro.”
Allen and Wil had already started a game. From the looks of things, Wil was winning. I guess I came in at the right time for Allen’s benefit. He needed something to be a distraction and break Wil’s concentration.
“Yo…whaddup, dawg?” I yelled.
Wil missed his shot. He and Allen turned around. “Man, you know the rules,” Wil said, fussing. “I’m glad to see you and everything, but coming up in here all loud when a man is about to make his next shot is rude.”
We all laughed. I went over to slap five with Wil. “My fault, big man. I forgot.”
“Forgot my ass,” he said. “My money is on the line. I’m glad it was you because somebody else would’ve gotten shot for that shit,” he said, giving me five. “By the way, put your money up because it’s on. I ain’t losing to you this time.”
“Let the man get ’em something to eat and a drink before he gets his ass whipped,” Kyle said. “I think he could take his whipping like a man on a full stomach. That way he’ll feel his trip wasn’t a total waste.”
My boys all laughed at me. “Ha…ha…ha. He who laughs last—”
“Which will be me,” Allen said.
“Ah, whatever,” the rest of us said simultaneously.
I fixed a plate and watched as Allen and Wil continued to sharpen their skills on the pool table. The room had been pretty quiet with the exception of the clacking of the balls, and then Kyle struck up a conversation.
“So, Jay, what’s up with that crazy shit that went down at your house last week?” Kyle asked.
I could feel both Allen and Wil turn to me like I was being set up.
“What shit? What you talking about?” I was looking around in all their faces.
“Man, you know what I’m talking about. Why’d old girl bust up in the room like the Incredible Hulk’s wife with a knife and shit? Yo, that was some crazy-ass shit. My wife thought she was going to kill us.”
Allen and Wil looked shocked. I had no idea what Kyle was talking about. “Say what? Man, she didn’t have a knife,” I exclaimed.
Kyle turned to Wil and Allen as if I was lying. “Ask Lisa if you don’t believe me. Jay, man, she was holding up a knife like she was about to kill us. If you hadn’t popped up, somebody was gonna get hurt.”
“Get the fuck outta here. I know you were pissed about her interrupting you getting your groove on, but Ashlee ain’t like that. This was all just a big misunderstanding. I’ll admit, Ashlee is a bit paranoid because of Tracy and all, but she wouldn’t do no crazy shit like pull a knife.”
“So where’d the knife come from? I know you saw it on the dresser when we left.”
“Look, Kyle, it was just a big misunderstanding, all right?”
Kyle shook his head. “I know what I saw, Jay. That woman is crazy. You can see it in her eyes.”
I was starting to get pissed. “Well, dawg, you saw wrong, aw’ight? This is the woman I love you’re talking about and she ain’t crazy.”
“I hear you say this woman loves you, but I think it’s the opposite of that. You might need to be careful. I think she’s obsessed with you.”
I was disappointed to hear how Kyle felt. I wanted my boys to be happy for me. Ashlee was scheduled to fly into La Guardia the next morning to join me on a flight out to Jamaica. Our six-month anniversary had rolled around pretty fast, and we had planned to celebrate. I had no doubt about the love between Ashlee and me, and after six months of bliss, I felt it was time to make things more official between us. I had bought her a two-carat, princess-cut diamond engagement ring. Unbeknownst to Ashlee, she was about to experience a perfect marriage proposal in Montego Bay. Despite all Kyle had said, I continued to defend Ashlee.
“Well, I love her, and I know she loves me. That’s why by this time tomorrow night, I plan to make her the happiest woman alive,” I said, opening the ring box.
They gasped. “No…no…hell no. Jay, man, I think you’re going too far,” Allen said. “I get a bad vibe from that girl.”
“What? C’mon now, Al. You know Ashlee.” Now, this was a complete surprise because Allen and his wife lived in Virginia and visited with me and Ashlee several times. “So is anyone in my corner? Wil, what’s up? What about you, big man? Can you at least be happy for me?” I asked almost pleadingly.
“I wish I could, Jay. You know you my boy, and all. And I want nothing bu
t the best for you. Hell, I’ve never met the woman, but I can tell from the talks we’ve had about her that she ain’t the one.”
I was baffled. “Man, how can you say that? I’ve always told you how happy she makes me.”
Wil put his pool stick down, then looked me in the eye. “Yeah, but you’ve got some things twisted. Some of the shit she does isn’t love. Man, that girl is obsessed with you. You’ve told me the sex is banging, and it sounds like that’s all you two really have to keep you going. That’s not a healthy relationship.”
“What about how I feel? Don’t you all think I would know when I’m in love?” I asked, looking around at all three of them.
Wil stepped over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Not necessarily,” he said, then pointed at Allen.
Kyle walked over and stood in front of me. “You know Al has been down this road before. Do you remember how you felt when he told us he was going to marry Rose? We all knew Rose wasn’t the one for him, and I remember distinctively that you told Al he needed to listen to his boys. That’s because we’re on the outside looking in, and we can see some things you can’t. And now I’m telling you: You need to listen to your boys.”
I looked at Al. I never thought I’d be sitting in the same shoes he once wore when he planned to marry the woman he loved. As I sat looking into each of their faces, I could tell there was nothing I could say to persuade them otherwise toward Ashlee. Wil wasn’t done with me yet.
“What about Tracy?” he asked.
“What about her?” I asked, shocked he’d bring her up.
“You still have feelings for her. Why not make things right with her and your son?”
“Wil, I guess you don’t understand. Tracy is not an option for me. She has someone. She’s moved on.”
“Okay. I don’t wanna sound like I’m not going to have your back. I think I speak for all of us when I say the decision is yours, and whatever you decide, we’ll be here for you.”
I nodded. I couldn’t deny I still loved Tracy, but I loved Ashlee too. And besides, I had promised her father I would do right by her. Once I put this ring on her finger, she knows she’s the only one for me, I thought. All of her paranoia will be gone, and the fellas will see she truly loves me. My thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone. Ashlee was calling me.
“Hey, sexy, what’s up?” I said when I answered.
“You. Just calling to see whatcha up to,” she said.
“Right now I’m at Kyle’s house about to play some pool.”
“Mmmm…I bet you are,” she said, giving me attitude.
“No, baby. I really am over to Kyle’s.”
I could feel the fellas watching me. I turned my back to avoid facing the embarrassment. Ashlee seriously doubted me, and it didn’t feel good. “Who’s over there?” she asked.
“Just Kyle, Allen, Wil, and me,” I said, trying to remain calm.
“Mmmm. Whatever.”
I became very annoyed. “Look, Ashlee, we’re about to get this game going. Let me call you a little later, okay?”
She didn’t bother to respond. She just hung up the phone in my face. I thought heavily about the things my boys had said to me. Ashlee’s behavior had become aggravating, and I felt I didn’t deserve to have to put up with such pettiness. I took the ring out of my pocket, then opened the box. When the salesman told me it would set me back a few grand, the money didn’t matter because I felt Ashlee was worth it. After her phone call, I began to think like my boys. Maybe she ain’t the one.
CHAPTER 20
Ashlee
I sing because I’m happy.
For the first time in my relationship with Jay, I relaxed. No meds. No stress. No Tracy or her brat. We were on day one of five event-filled days in Montego Bay, at an all-inclusive resort. Immediately upon check-in, the hostess briefed us on their rules prohibiting Jamaicans from entering their hotels unless the natives were employees of their establishment. She stood there with her curvaceous cocoa hips winding and grinding to a reggae beat resonating in the background.
How rude of her. Glancing from her hips to her lips, I nodded. I got your number. Forget it, missy! It ain’t happening.
“Eliminating the competition, huh, ladies?” I said, kissing Jay. They weren’t slick. I read straight through what they were trying to do. Steal my man.
Right away my blood pressure rose several degrees. Those hoochies at the front desk ignored the fact that I was pissed off and started dancing together. Close together. The Jamaican woman in the middle handed Jay his VISA, cheesing and eyeing my man like he really was chocolaty dickalicious and possibly her one-way ticket to America.
Aw, hell no! Not over here too. That meant the single women at our resort including the staff were ready to have a fuck-fest with my man? I’d hurt all of ’em before I let that happen.
“He’s taken,” I said so loud I didn’t have to repeat myself for anyone else to hear.
“Baby,” Jay pleaded, “stop it. We just got here. C’mon, let’s hit the beach and have some fun.”
At first I was apprehensive about us taking all of our clothes off in front of strangers, but after we’d lounged on the beach for an hour, having clothes on felt more uncomfortable than being nude. Besides, we had the best bodies out there.
Whenever I caught women sneaking a peek below my man’s waist, I simply backed my ass into his dick, or dragged Jay into water above his waist, wrapped his arms around me, kissed him hard and long, then waited until those dick head-hunters lusted after somebody else.
“Baby, let’s go shopping. I want to buy you something special to remember our six-month anniversary and our first vacation together,” I suggested, already leading Jay toward the car I’d reserved to take us to the best jewelry store in MoBay.
This would be the only time I’d let Jay out of my sight. Since Jay had paid for everything, I wanted to buy him something nice so I bought him a brilliant eighteen-karat white gold tennis bracelet with diamonds, praying that he’d buy me an engagement ring. I didn’t care what size the diamond was. That’s not exactly true, but more importantly I desperately wanted to make plans to wear my wedding dress soon. I was thinking ahead and packed my gown in a separate suitcase. If things went the way I wanted I’d be married on a Caribbean beach sometime this week.
I thought my prayers were answered when Jay went to the restroom. Purposefully I stayed with our driver, and when Jay entered the restroom, I frantically opened his bag. My heart stopped. Covering my mouth, I stared at the white box.
Hurry up and open it before he returns, I told myself.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as my trembling hands slowly opened the box. Gasping for air, I frowned. “Ruby earrings!” I snapped the box closed. Mad as hell, I dropped the box into the bag when I saw Jay walking toward us.
Calm down. Act normal. Maybe it’s a test of some sort. Maybe he went to the restroom and put the ring in his pocket.
“Don’t cha dare say any ting, mon,” I said to the driver, slipping him five hundred Jamaican dollars.
Quickly stuffing the money in his pocket, the driver answered, “It’s bad luck, ya know, not ta trust ’im.”
No, that gigolo didn’t just check me. What did he know about us? He was merely our driver.
Sternly, I asked him, “What’s your name?”
“Barker,” he said with a friendly smile, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world.
I was sure Barker should’ve been the last person speaking about trust. With his rich black licorice complexion, waist-length locks, perfect white teeth, bulging biceps, flat abs, firm ass, and sexy Jamaican accent—hypnotic enough to make a woman come instantly—I was sure that wide smile was from getting more than his share of punanni.
“Well, Barker. You don’t know me, so stay out of my business.” Right before Jay got in the car, I hissed to Barker, “Keep your mouth shut.”
His smile vanished. Barker did as I demanded, remaining quiet the entire time he zipped down the roa
d, getting us back to our resort in half the time it took for him to get us to the jewelry store.
“Hey, mon, you awfully quiet,” Jay said, touching Barker on the shoulder.
“Sometimes silence is golden, ya know?” Barker said. Turning up Bob Marley on his CD player, Barker started singing along, “No woman, no cry. No woman, no cry.”
Thankful to be back at the resort, I couldn’t wait to get out of Barker’s car.
The water slide at the hotel was Jay’s favorite and the swing was mine. Jay told me that zooming down the slippery slide gave him a rush, but splashing into the pool dick first felt like having an orgasm without coming. I guess.
My favorite thing to do was swing. Naked. Right before sunrise and sunset, the world seemed at peace. At first when I told Jay, “Let’s swing,” his eyes opened wide. Slapping his shoulder, I said, “Not that kind of swing.” Jay had better not try any of that kinky stuff with me or nobody else.
Throwing my legs up in the air, I thrust myself into the salty sea breeze that engulfed my nostrils while blowing through my hair. Hoisting backward, gaining more momentum, I must’ve inhaled and exhaled a million times, each time releasing my lifelong frustrations into the wind. Having Jay all to myself made me feel worry-free. I could stay in MoBay with Jay forever. I swung every day, wondering why life couldn’t be this way all the times…carefree as the wind. The wind could be gentle. The wind could be destructive. The one thing the wind could never be is predictable.
With each passing day, Jay too had become a little unpredictable in a good kinda way, making love to me morning, noon, and night.
“Mmm,” I moaned along with Jay.
His teeth nibbled, and then he wrapped his moist lips around my pinky toe. My leg contracted as Jay sucked my other toes like a harmonica, making his way to my big toe.
Gasping, I exhaled, “Oh my God.”
“Relax,” Jay whispered, opening his mouth wide.
Slowly his lips cupped my big toe. His teeth clamped ever so slowly, grazing my toe until he reached the tip of my nail. Trembling, I swear my eyeballs did a 360-degree rotation as I exhaled a long “Oooh.”