Since Drew

by J. Nathan

  His gaze stayed locked on the guys. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me. But no one’s really asked if it’s what I want to do.”

  I paused, unsure if he wanted me to ask or not. “Do you?”

  He shrugged.

  “I can’t imagine playing a sport and not wanting to reach the pinnacle of it.”

  “Oh, believe me. It happens.” No humor laced his voice.

  I nodded, though I didn’t understand. Our circumstances were so different. “I was supposed to make it to the Olympics. The qualifying round was the day after my accident. And I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I could taste it.” My shoulders dropped as I stared out across the lawn. “Now I’ll never have it, and I have absolutely no idea what to do with that.” I looked down at the contraptions hindering my dream. I felt myself getting choked up—never having vocalized it that way before. I pushed down the brewing emotion. I needed to stay strong.

  When I turned to Drew, his eyes were on me and no longer distant and distracted, but soft and concerned. “Which event?”

  “Oh. Wait for it. It’s good…800-meter track.”

  “Fuuuuck.” It was a mere whisper, but it said it all.

  We turned at the same time and stared out at the grounds. Drew’s eyes followed the guys enjoying their game of football. Playing because they loved it. Not because it was what they were supposed to do. My eyes followed patients happily strolling around with their visitors. But I knew the truth. They weren’t happy. They were prisoners. Trapped in an existence they didn’t ask for. One they didn’t want. One they needed out of.

  “I’m sorry,” Drew’s raspy voice offered.

  I shrugged. “It’s not your fault.”

  A young nurse appeared out of nowhere, stopping in front of us. “Andi. I need to get you back inside. Doctor Evans is doing his rounds and wants to see you.”

  My eyes shot to Drew.

  A sad smile touched his lips. “You go. I’m kind of enjoying the fresh air. I’ll stop by to see you later.”

  I nodded as the nurse stepped behind my chair and pushed me away from him.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “So tell me more about Mr. Tall, Dark, and Gorgeous.”

  “Shhhh.” My eyes shifted to the empty doorway. “My luck, he’ll hear you. And that’ll only inflate his already massive ego.”

  Logan kicked her flip-flops up onto my bed from the chair beside me. “Sweetie, if he’s half as sexy as you say he is, one, an ego’s to be expected. And, two, he’d love hearing I’m interested.”

  She was right. He would. Guys fell over themselves to be with Logan. She and Drew would make the perfect pair. And for some reason, the thought twisted my insides.

  “So, what do you think he’s got?”

  “I have a feeling it’s cancer. Maybe it’s in remission. I don’t know. But they don’t just let someone roam the halls if they’re contagious.”

  “That sucks,” she said. “He’s young, right?”

  “Senior at Duke. Quarterback on their football team. And, get this. He’s supposed to be drafted to the pros.”

  Logan’s blue eyes expanded and a proven-to-win-pageants smile overtook her glossy lips.

  “Oh, no, you don’t. No sinking your teeth into my only friend in this place.”

  Logan laughed as she tapped away at her phone. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind my teeth anywhere near him.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re probably right.”

  “Probably?”

  I flipped her off.

  “Whoa.” She gazed down at her phone. “His name’s Drew Slater. He’s got close to fifty-thousand followers. And he’s hot.”

  Slater? With all my questions, how had I not asked him that? “Let me see.”

  She held out her phone. The picture on his page was of him in his football uniform. Good Lord. If I thought he was hot in his normal clothes, there was something about him in that tight uniform that— “Put it away.” I shoved her phone back at her.

  “Huh?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to see anymore.”

  A smug smile tipped her lips. “You’re welcome for bringing your phone and stuff.”

  I stared at her blankly. Had I zoned out for part of our conversation because I had no clue what she was talking about?

  “No, I get it,” she said casually. “You wanna look at it in private when I leave.”

  “Ewww. No.”

  She unleashed a devilish laugh.

  “You know I’m not into all that.”

  “Into all what exactly? Because if you’re forgetting, we went to that sex shop together last year and I saw what you bought.”

  I cocked my head, letting my serious eyes speak for me. “Cyber-stalking. You know I hate that. It makes girls crazy.”

  “But don’t you want to know what he’s got?”

  “If he doesn’t know, I doubt any of his followers know. I’m serious Logan. Put it away. I feel funny searching him. Anything I want to know, I’ll get from him.”

  Logan’s smile faded as she tucked her phone into her handbag. “Andi? You sure it’s a good idea getting chummy with someone who’s not gonna stick around? You know how that tired scene plays out.”

  My forehead creased, suddenly uncomfortable with her concern. “I know that.”

  “Do you? Because whether he’s drafted, or—” She lowered her voice. “Dead. He’s gone.”

  The truth pinched deep in my gut. Yes, the Olympics were gone. Yes, my ex was gone. And, yes, for all intents and purposes, my parents were gone. But look at me. I was holding it together. “I just met the guy.”

  She arched her perfect brow and held me with a presumptuous gaze.

  I looked away just as Drew passed by my room. “Hey,” I called out.

  Logan spun toward the now empty doorway. “Was that him?”

  “Yeah.”

  She sprang to her feet and hurried into the hallway. Her blonde curls whipped left then right, before she turned toward me. “I don’t see him.”

  I shrugged. “He probably didn’t want to interrupt.” Or he’d heard everything we’d said.

  I closed my eyes as my head nestled deeper into my pillow. Fan-freaking-tastic.

  * * *

  I’d been watching a family of birds chirping outside my window all day. Scratch that. Since giving up on the assignments Logan brought from my professors.

  A food server shuffled into my room, leaving behind my dinner tray. My rumbling stomach told me my hunger, which had been nonexistent since waking up in the hospital, had returned. Unfortunately, as I picked away at the dry lump of meatloaf, I knew it wasn’t going to cut it.

  “Did someone order a pizza?” Drew walked in carrying a pizza box.

  “Ahhh. My pizza boy fantasy.”

  Amusement crossed his face. “You have a pizza boy fantasy?” He placed the box on the bedside table just out of my reach and pulled out a slice.

  “I do now.”

  He flashed a knowing smile. “But you didn’t yesterday?”

  I shook my head, wondering if he’d mentioned yesterday because he hadn’t been around or because he hoped I’d bring up Logan. It’s what guys did. Found a way to segue into talking about her. Then none-too-subtly asked me to hook them up. It got old fast.

  Drew dropped into the chair beside my bed. His eyes stayed locked on mine as he bit into his slice. “Mmmm. Cheesy goodness.”

  “Screw you. Give me one.”

  He snickered, handing me the slice he’d bitten into. He eyed me like he didn’t think I’d take it. But my stomach wouldn’t let me not. Besides, there was something intimate about sharing food. Biting where his teeth bit. Where his lips touched. Where his tongue—

  I grabbed the slice and shoved it into my mouth, silencing my overactive, and apparently sex-deprived, inner voice.

  “I figured you must’ve been to the point where you’d had it with hospital food.”

  “You did this for me?” I asked with a mouthful, savorin
g the cheesy goodness.

  “Don’t sound so surprised.” He reached for another slice. “Hospital food sucks.”

  We both polished off a couple more slices in companionable silence. When neither of us could handle another bite, Drew picked up the box and carried it into the hallway. I envisioned him using his charm on the nurses at the nurses’ station, probably leaving the remaining slices for them.

  He returned pushing a wheelchair. “I’ve got something to show you.”

  * * *

  The cool night air circled the hospital roof where Drew and I lay on the ground with our hands locked behind our heads. Neither of us had uttered a word as we stared at the overabundance of stars occupying the clear night sky.

  It made no sense, but Drew’s presence and laid-back demeanor soothed me. I could feel the intangible pull toward him. The need to be around him. To talk to him. To have his acceptance. To have his attention. And truthfully, those needs troubled me. I wasn’t a needy person. Or so I thought. Maybe Logan had been right. Maybe it wasn’t good how connected to him I’d started to feel. Maybe I did need to consider the possibility that I’d never see him again.

  “I saw your friend yesterday.”

  His words sucked the air right out of me. But I rebounded like the champ I was—or at least pretended to be. “Yes, she’s single.”

  His head fell toward me. “That’s not why I brought it up.”

  I didn’t even bother looking at him. “Sure it is.”

  “It’s not.” Irritation colored his tone. “You don’t get to tell me why I said something. You don’t even know me.”

  My head fell to meet his gaze. “Oh, I know you all right.”

  I knew he wanted to stay annoyed at me, but his twitching lips said otherwise.

  “Then why bring her up?”

  His twitching morphed into a cocky grin. “Just wondering what you told her about me.”

  That grin. That adorable—maddening—grin. And just like that, my anger, jealousy—whatever it was going on with me—dissipated. “Oh, that’s easy. I told her the truth. You’re an annoying guy who won’t leave me alone.”

  His unconvinced gaze told me I needed to work on my game. “Admit it. I’m wearing on you.”

  I purposely averted my eye, turning my attention back to the sky. “Nope.”

  “Come on. I won’t let it go to my head.”

  “Something’s already gotten to your head because it’s bigger than anyone’s I’ve ever met before.”

  I could sense his grin widening. “Got that right.”

  Once my words and his response truly registered, heat crept into my cheeks.

  Dammit.

  “Admit it, Andi. I’m wearing on you. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

  I shrugged. “Fine. Maybe a tiny bit.”

  He laughed. “Usually doesn’t take so long.”

  I didn’t doubt that for a second.

  My eyes latched onto an airplane moving across the sky like a shooting star. Too bad it wasn’t. I would’ve wished to go back in time and not run on that road. Scratch that. I wouldn’t have gone running at all. I shoved down the useless thought. “Any word on your tests?”

  “No news is good news,” he said, like he had it rehearsed.

  “That’s one way of looking at it.” I racked my brain for something interesting to say. Something cute. Something witty. But I came up with nothing but more questions. “So what’s going on with the draft?”

  Drew released a deep sigh.

  I worried I might’ve pried too much.

  After a long pause, his voice broke the silence. “I declared my intent months ago. Now, if I withdraw, there are a lot of people it will affect. So I’m holding off until I’m positive of my decision.”

  I nodded, grasping the gravity of his situation. As an athlete, teams were banking on him. If he was slated as any early pick, endorsement deals were inevitably in the works. And no doubt millions of dollars were at stake. If he was hesitant about his desire to play professional football, he’d be hurting more than just himself. “Only you know what’s right for you. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else wants.”

  “You don’t know my parents.”

  “What do they have to do with it?”

  His attention moved back to the sky. “Everything.”

  I knew enough to let it go. He clearly had issues that a night on a rooftop with me wasn’t going to fix.

  “I can’t remember the last time I just laid back and enjoyed the nothingness,” he mused. “No decisions to make. No expectations. No motives in question.”

  “I know what you mean.” And I did. I’d been so focused on my road to the Olympics, I’d rarely sat back to enjoy the journey. To enjoy much of anything, really.

  “Thanks.” His voice travelled softly in the night air.

  My head fell to the side while his eyes remained focused on the stars. “For what?”

  “For being you.”

  I smiled. “Some might say it’s a curse.”

  His head fell toward me. “Then they don’t know you.”

  A moment passed between us. Our eyes didn’t waver, if anything, the connection between us grew inexplicably stronger. An unspoken bond. A comradery. A friendship of sorts. Then his eyes dropped to my lips, zoning in on them for a long while.

  The fact that my lips tingled at the mere thought of his lips on mine told me I was in big freaking trouble.

  Then, as if I’d imagined it, he jumped to his feet, brushed tiny pebbles off the back of his jeans, and without a word delivered me back to my room.

  Once I got settled onto my bed, I pulled my windblown hair up into a high ponytail. “Thanks for the change of scenery.”

  Drew shrugged like it was no big deal. “I’ll stop by tomorrow.” He turned to leave, then stopped and looked back over his shoulder. “Do you like games?”

  My eyes narrowed. “What kind of games?”

  His lips kicked up in the corners stretching to his eyes. “The fun kind.”

  Unsure what he was getting at, but normally up for anything, I shrugged. “Sure.”

  “Good. I’ll be by tomorrow. Make sure you’re wearing your big girl panties. You’re gonna need them.”

  With that, he disappeared into the hallway, leaving me with a strong desire to see the sun rise so I could don those big girl panties.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Drew walked into my room after dinner the following night with a brown paper bag in his hand. He closed the door behind him, eyeing me like a piece of meat.

  Goose bumps scattered up my arms.

  Since when did I like feeling like a piece of meat?

  He approached the chair beside my bed and dropped down into it, keeping his eyes trained on mine.

  “Hi?”

  A devious smirk tipped his lips as he placed the bag on the floor and lowered my tray table in the space between us. He reached inside the crinkly bag, letting his hand linger. I’d give him props. He definitely knew how to pique my curiosity. His hand slid out grasping a shot glass. His eyes stayed on mine as he placed it on the empty tray table in front of him. Then he reached back in and pulled out a second glass.

  “Thirsty?”

  A slow sexy smile skated across his lips as he slid the glass in front of me. But he wasn’t done. He reached back in the bag and pulled out a full bottle of vodka.

  “Seriously?” I laughed.

  He nodded. “You scared?”

  “Scared I’m gonna drink you under the table.”

  He threw back his head and let loose a shoulder shaking laugh. So carefree. So comfortable. So unbelievably breathtaking.

  But once it continued much longer than necessary, I crossed my arms over the UNC printed on my powder-blue T-shirt. “Are we playing a game or just trying to get sloppy drunk?”

  His laughter subsided as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a quarter, holding it up so the fluorescent lights in my room reflected off it.

  “So, we’re wage
ring?”

  He nodded. “And with the pain meds getting the liquor to your head quicker, you being drunk off your ass is just an added bonus.”

  I swallowed down. Hard.

  “Now if I win…” He twisted his lips like he really needed to consider the stakes. “I get to give you a sponge bath.”

  He said it so matter-of-factly, it threw me for a loop. Though, it seemed like a win-win for me.

  “If you win,” he continued. “You give me a sponge bath.”

  “Who said I’d want to give you a sponge bath?” I totally did.

  “Seriously? Have you seen me?”

  I almost choked on the arrogance floating around the room. But in all honesty, I liked it. Too much. A guy who knew who he was and what he wanted turned me on. It’s what I was drawn to. What I normally sought out. I nodded toward the vodka. “Where’d you get it?”

  “My buddy Avery smuggled it in.”

  “All in an effort to get me drunk?”

  His smile spread wide. “All in an effort to get you drunk and give you a sponge bath.”

  “Ever think of just asking?”

  He stilled.

  I let the notion linger for a long moment, then lifted my chin toward the quarter. “Bring it.”

  He unscrewed the bottle and filled both glasses to the brim. He clearly didn’t plan on taking it easy on me. He nodded to my glass. “First one’s for fun.”

  “So that’s how it’s gonna be?”

  He lifted his shot to his lips and threw it back, completely unfazed by the liquor. “That’s definitely how it’s gonna be.”

  Ah, hell.

  I lifted my shot, throwing it back like a true rock star. It burned a prickly path down my throat heating my body to the core. I wanted to shake my head and rid my taste buds of the disgusting liquid, but I’d perfected running with pulled muscles and sore ankles. No way a freaking drinking game would elicit weakness. Drew needed to believe I could do it. Believe I could do anything I set my mind to.

  Or maybe it was me. Maybe I needed to believe that.

  He handed me the quarter, brushing his fingers against mine as he placed the coin into my palm.

  Ignoring the tingling sensation resonating in my fingertips, I started the game, bouncing the coin off the surface of the tray table with incredible ease. It landed with a clink in his shot glass. I bit down on my bottom lip, resisting the urge to gloat.